• Member Since 8th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

bats


Writer, blogger, saucy chat mom, occasional bitch. Hablo español. She/her/ella.

T
Source

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy have had a rocky relationship, with ups and downs over the course of years, and Rainbow's ready to call it quits for good. As she stands at the door, willing herself to knock, there's something holding her back: she's still in love. Love alone isn't enough to make it work, but as their relationship threatens to end forever, they have one last chance to make sense of it all.

And Rainbow Dash can't stop remembering.

Editing by Formerly Committed and Shellsh0cker.

Winner of the FlutterDash Group Contest: Conflict judges panel.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 50 )
Spacecowboy
Moderator

Oh boy. Bats story. To steal from Skeeter... Commence Read!

The second I read the title, that Katy Perry song got stuck in my head, and then when I noticed it wasn't a smut story, my feels died a little. But, nonetheless, since you wrote it, imma read it (later, because I have a stupid test to take) because I'm positive it's gonna be awesome.

why does it say zero words total?

3257195

The word count updates on a backlog, and I had the chapters sitting unpublished and thus not counted before I submitted it. Just so happened to get approved before the word count updated.

You've got 13 likes and about 19 reads. This is going to get featured. I'm calling it.

Congrats on the win, by the way! You deserved it. Also... that profile pic... I love it!

It was quite a pleasure to see this story among the entries. A very refreshing, grown up look at FlutterDash. :heart:

I already said this before, but excellent job, bats. I had a feeling it was you, but still. Very well done. This was one of the best stories I'd ever read, and congratulations for winning. It was definitely deserved.

I knew it - I knew skimping out on my test was worth it. Goddammit, you tore my heart apart, but that ending repaired it up perfectly. bats, you really do have skillz, man, seriously. You should, like, try to get a book published or something, that's how good you are. Take all of my feels and mustaches.

:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

I read it. And it was good.

Also, I learned what the return is on beer bottles in Equestria. What else can you ask from a fic? :heart:

FlutterDash + Bats = Win? for a TwiDash writer you certainly wrote an awesome FlutterDash you get my like and fave

You my good sir are a truly magnificent bastard.
I mean that in a good way though.:pinkiehappy:

This was a great story and I eagerly await the next one.

That was beautiful. Bravo! :yay:

(I really wish there was more I could say, but I'd just be a list of synonyms for 'good' :twilightsmile:)

Very well done. Oddly sounds a lot like my relationship, too... :rainbowderp:

I enjoyed it, and it was my vote in the contest. I already gave my feedback on it elsewhere.

Just so you're aware, this hurt me on a personal level.

Like, the way their 'talk' started, was how my last relationship ended after 5 years.


Bravo, though, it was very well done. As if anyone was surprised. :ajsmug:

“You can count on me! I won’t mess up and hurt you. I promise.”

oh Rainbow i´m afraid that is a promise that should never be done :fluttershysad:

carrying the empty and Fluttershy’s cup to the sink

i think this line missed a bottle of beer

goddammit bats how do you fill all of your stories with so many feels :twilightblush: do i smile, do i feel sad, do i smile while feeling sad?

3258675

Calling a finished bottle or can of beer 'an empty' is a colloquial phrase. One that I'd figure Dash would know/use, but also figured would probably not be known by everyone. :rainbowlaugh:

Heya Bats,

I can get kind of poetic in my comments when I like a story. I can sometimes go on for paragraphs about how it touched my heart, made me cry, hurt so good....

For some reason I have no poetry today, but I still wanted to let you know how much I appreciated this story. Thanks for sharing it, and for its underlying message of the effectiveness and joy of good communication. :heart:

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

Good God, that punched me right in the gut.

Hrm... Y'know, this comes as a shock to me but I think I'm about to post a comment that's actually... critical?

I know, I know, I'm the nearly the squealingest fanboy you've got, but apparently I have my tendencies. Lemme just slap this on my favorites list where it does belong and then I'll start yammering.

This is good. I did enjoy it, but... I dunno, something seems off about it? The biggest stick-out thing for me is the last line in chapter one, the bit where Rainbow Dash promises not to fuck up and hurt Fluttershy. Honestly it's kind of a non-sequitur in context. Why did Dash make that statement? Did I miss something that elaborated on what might have prompted it? I can't see a bit where she'd had a prior romantic relationship that ended because of her screwing it up... So yeah, confused. What prompted that promise? It's a weird, weird thing to say to someone especially as a super inexperienced kid.

Aside from that... Hrm, this relationship feels a little weird as compared to the kind of things I'm used to reading from you. Maybe it's because it's more like actual human interaction than most stories I read. I wouldn't really know, as I have a wellspring of personal relationship experience to draw on that is just a barely measurable quantity above zero. Or maybe I'm wrong and it's just 'cuz it's not your usual fare and you weren't used to Dash and Shy? Hell, it might just be because I put Dash and Shy somewhere lower on the list of ships I enjoy. I'm not even sure.

But yeah. On an objective scale 1-10 I'd give this an 8. On the special, personalized, bats-only scale of stuff of yours I enjoy -- 10 being Spellbound Fireflies and 1 being the awful shit on this site that I actually downvote -- I'd probably toss it around 5 or 6.

Still, solid read.

Gorgeous. As a non-Flutterdasher, you got me to buy the ship (In the context of this one story, I'm still not crazy about it in general :trixieshiftright:), and the "wild animal" revelation was really great. You have concocted a wonderful story here, bats. :moustache:

Also, the imagery of the trees in the first chapter was excellent as well.

3258683 welp :derpytongue2: you learn something new everyday :twilightsmile:

great story as always bats :heart:

P.S. am i weird by finding funny the realization of Rainbow at the end? i mean the one when she compares herself to a wild animal, not the one about communication, that bit about communication is one of the universal truths of the world, at least i like to think it is :twilightblush:

Hmm. There exists a great sea of ship-fics, and its waters are treacherous, indeed. Avoid sailing it, if possible, but if you must, be careful, and constantly vigilant.

First chapter and I'm already feelin' the feels. This is the point where I love and hate you Bats.

Still love and hate you, Bats.

Yeah, dude, bats, you're killing me. All of the feels. If there is a better way to write a Flutterdash conflict fic, it would be done by Rainbow dash or Fluttershy. It is truly magnificent, well written, and all around a awesome story.

Wow, that was great stuff. I feel like there's been a real lack of reasonably lengthed FlutterDash from the better romance authors in the fandom, and this finally fills that hole nicely. Anyways, it's worth noting that the end of this one feels oddly sad, particularly because there's nothing after it. Like, they're just saying there's this reason that they always break up, and now everything's perfect, except this could basically be what happens every time, and this return to romance could easily be just another point in the cycle rather than the end of it. The resolution is just very pat, which gives the impression that it's not a permanent fix. RD's thought process at the end is perfectly reasonable by my view, but that doesn't really stop the vague foreboding sense of tragedy on the horizon. Still, maybe having the ending be that way is a good thing, because it's all interesting and ambiguous.

SO CUTE CHAOSDAMNIT *rage quit*

There's so much FlutterDash out there, but there are so few people who are actually willing to take a real look at their relationship, friends or otherwise, and actually point out the inevitable problems they'd have. You hit on a lot of them, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy both's lack of communication skills being the big one. I don't know whether you really resolved any of those problems, but kudos for actually having them in attendance.

That was the most perfect TwiJack thing I think I've ever read.
This is FlutterDash.
Bats pls

My only issue with this is that in fifteen years Dash never had this realization.
Other than that:
-FlutterDash is now shipped (of course).
-This story is great due to the very noticable realism that permeates it.
-TwiJack squees.

Having been satisfied wonderfully right here, I will now resume my petty hoping that the next fic you put out will be non-smut.

Nice story. I agree, talking about things is so important, my boyfriend and I would always try and hold it in until it explodes with a fight. So communication is very important, and the way you displayed it in Dash's mind made good sense. It really is the little things that kill. So little annoying habits can strain a relationship if the people aren't open. This story made me think of the first few years of our relationship, and just how hard, tiresome, and ridiculous it was for us to be like that, sad as it was. So hopefully their new tactic will help their relationship grow into a healthy one. Also, AJ's comment on getting Twilight was so cute.

3258796
Q:

The biggest stick-out thing for me is the last line in chapter one, the bit where Rainbow Dash promises not to ... hurt Fluttershy. ... Why did Dash make that statement?

A:

She kept her eyes stubbornly shut, not wanting to see the look of shock and fear in Fluttershy’s face; she’d seen that look enough, her sweet and quiet friend’s features distorted by every bully, every cruel jest. She didn’t want to be responsible for that same look; not then, not ever.

This was uncommonly good... you are a very talented writer (but I guess you already know that, what with 1,000+ subscribers and all :) )

I really enjoyed this story. It was sad and kinda depressing but in the end it was reallg happy cute. Good job and keep up the good work.

That intro with the painted door was a stroke of brilliance. You held my attention until the very end. Well done!

I promised I would start reading some of your stories. :raritywink: Surprisingly I chose this one, maybe because of the title alone, or because it won a contest, I'm not sure.

All I know is that I haven't read much Flutterdash, but this really makes me question if I should read more.

Because I loved this from the start all the way to the very last line. In my own writing, as well as most of the stories I read, these are the types of elements I enjoy most. It wasn't much of a surprise to me that I liked this so much.

10/10 would read again :twilightsmile:

DJRD

This was amazingly well written I loved how the flashbacks were worked in and I'm so so so so so so so glad it had a happy ending! I love how you kept true to the character's personalities!

I feel like I need to write a letter to Princess Celestia about my new findings about love. Well, I can try!

Princess Celestia,

I learned that to be in a stable
relationship, you can't keep
secrets from your special
somepony. You have to be
honest, and not bottle up
your emotions.

Yours Truly;
Charles Belmont

There! That'll do! :twilightsmile:

But really, great story! I love that moral you put at the end, (if you couldn't tell already,) and nothing feels out of place. I applaud you, Mr. Bats. Bravo!

I miss clicked like four times trying to hit that damn first chapter title. Too small. :moustache:

this is amazing best one yet

this is the best story ever

The first 2 chapters are amazing IMHO, but I found the conclusion/2nd half of the third really lacking, sorry :C You're obviously a very talented writer but it seemed like the reasons Rainbow and 'Shy don't work well together were very well fleshed out, the conflict scenes were beautiful and poetic... and then the final part where things are 'resolved' was just kinda... tacked on. You could probably have fleshed it out a bit more.

Honestly... I may be projecting here, but I kinda get the feeling you aren't really a big fan of Flutterdash, and it was probably very very easy to see the flaws, to write a turbulent romantic relationship that was clearly unhealthy for both ponies... and a little harder to write a satisfying reason those problems didn't matter, or how they could be overcome.

I hope this doesn't sound really rude, I enjoy your writing a lot! :)

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