• Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday

Titanium Dragon


TD writes and reviews pony fanfiction, and has a serious RariJack addiction. Send help and/or ponies.

E

Rarity has arranged a blind date for Fluttershy, but refuses to tell her friends who Fluttershy's date might be. Fluttershy is excited and Applejack is happy to help out, but Rainbow Dash isn't so sure. Deciding to take things into her own hooves, she sets out to acquire the flowers and food that were meant for Fluttershy's date, then show up posing as the pretty pegasus's date herself. But the date meant more to Fluttershy than Rainbow Dash knew.

Written for the FlutterDash writing contest, in which it received second place in the reader's choice competition.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 56 )

I love stories about Dash boneheading up romantic situations. :rainbowkiss: This beginning is g-r-e-a-t.

This is nice. :] I like how you let Fluttershy have a spine throughout the story, and I'll admit I didn't actually see the "twist" coming even though I probably should have, looking back I'm not really sure how I didn't. But anyway, there's a lot of good stuff here; Especially in chapter two, I think Fluttershy's deflating satisfaction with Dash's attempts to play the date 'cool' were masterfully done, and probably my favorite part of the fic. The resolution was natural and believable, too, which is good, even if there is that gnawing want for it to have gone further. Which is not to say that it feels like, incomplete, or something, but the romantic in me wants to see Rainbow be in love love. :trixieshiftleft: I blame the shipping goggles. They are never satisfied.

Seriously, though, I love jealous Dash being a bonehead. Not even entirely sure why, but I can't read enough of it.

In conclusion, this reminds me a lot of why I liked Flutterdash when I started getting into shipping in the first place, which is great, because I'd completely lost faith in the ship. Good work. I look forward to whatever you write next.

3259278
I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I think the date was the strongest part of the story, and it was also the part which most "wrote itself"; I didn't actually plan the date turning out the way it did, it just kind of felt like it was the natural flow of things, with things growing increasingly awkward between them as Rainbow Dash tried to backpedal while Fluttershy was making advances towards her, and Rainbow Dash's growing realization of what the date meant for Fluttershy.

The conclusion, I felt, was the way it had to end; while a lot of people end their stories with the characters falling in love, I felt like this was a more natural way for things to go. Had Rainbow Dash actually been in love love with Fluttershy, she would have been much happier on the date; but there was a certain amount of attraction there that Rainbow Dash was certainly noticing, but was avoiding actually dealing with. She was trying to protect Fluttershy, and here Fluttershy was being friendly and attractive. How dare she. :rainbowderp:

OH MY GOD! TALKING HORSES!:applejackconfused:

This one was my favorite story of the contest :raritywink:

As a mostly TwiDash fan I have a few biases against ships like FlutterDash. I think this story does a scarily accurate job of displaying a lot of why I prefer another pairing for RD. Even without giving her another love interest to focus on, RD and Shy give strong friend/sister vibes to me, and RD getting weirded out by Shy's compliments, flirting, affection, and confession were totally perfect.

That you managed to turn it around at the end was excellent work. I feel a stronger relationship would be difficult to believe, so RD's offer to try felt much more natural.

I fucking love Rarity's scheme. I had my suspicions during the scene with AJ, but you had me pretty convinced those suspicions were wrong during the breakdown of the date. As the pieces fell I was mentally scrambling to guess who the poor, shy mare was (my best guess at that moment was Twi or some minor/background pony). Evil genius Rarity is best Rarity.

Thoroughly enjoyable tale.

Comment posted by Cryosite deleted Sep 26th, 2013

3259720
Talking ponies. Talking horses is just silly. :duck:

3260177
Heh, well, you were one of the folk who propelled me to a second place finish. I'm glad you appreciated it! In the end, the stories are written so that others may enjoy them, and it is always good to know that I have succeeded in that capacity.

3260514
Full disclosure:

I don't actually ship FlutterDash. This didn't stop me from coming up with the idea or writing the story; indeed, the idea had nothing to do with the contest, though the contest made me write it next. It may have influenced my choice of having Fluttershy be the "chaser," though. While I agree that they have a much more best friends vibe than romantic partners vibe (and I feel that the show reinforces this pretty heavily, though, let's face it, canonically there is no shipping - the closest thing to flirting is the "Good things are better if they're a Rarity" bit from TCE, though obviously Fall-Weather Friends and Look Before You Sleep provided fodder for the shippers), if either of them was to have a crush on the other, it would be Fluttershy on Rainbow Dash rather than the other way around, I think. Rainbow Dash having a crush on Fluttershy seems less likely; while she is certainly attractive, she lacks many qualities that Rainbow Dash values. Fluttershy IS pretty special in her own ways, but they aren't really Dash's ways. Her lack of ambition, I think, may be the largest killer though; Fluttershy is happy with what she has, while Rainbow Dash is always grasping for more. I actually have a blog post on plausible pony pairings, which are the ones that I feel are most plausible. I guess you could call them my OTPs, though I'm not really devoted to them; I simply feel that Flarity, AppleDash, TwiDash, and RariJack are the four that make the most sense. I do read other shipfics (I did read every one submitted to this contest, and periodically read recommended fics from various pairings), and am welcome to being convinced otherwise.

Of course, goodness knows that emotions are far from a rational thing, so you know, maybe she could. Goodness knows people have liked stranger things, and Fluttershy IS pretty nice. I just feel like I need to be convinced of characters' emotions for each other, and you'd better come up with a good reason for whatever ship pair you do. This is why I feel that Twilight's List did such a good job of things; it wasn't that it was especially well-written, but that it actually made sense. I don't think I really even thought about TwiDash before reading that story, but that one told me why they could like each other. This is also part of why I think elucidating Rainbow Dash's feelings more improved the story; it made it clearer exactly what it was that Rainbow Dash saw in Fluttershy, and gave her a good reason to give it a shot.

All that being said, I have no particular issue with writing whatever ship; it is simply that some I feel make more sense to me than others. FlutterDash is something I could definitely see happening as a dating sort of thing, but I have a hard time thinking it would actually last, at least with Fluttershy in the state she is presently in show canon. That being said, don't read this as me saying "They break up later on down the line after the fic is over." This is one of those Death of the Author things; everyone is free to decide how it turns out in the long run based on what was presented. I don't have a particular headcanon for it, so even though I don't actively ship FlutterDash, it doesn't mean I think their relationship here is doomed, either. I wrote this story because I felt it fit the characters. If I just don't feel a story, I probably wouldn't write it. I might try my hand at other ships I don't ship at some point; we shall see. All it requires is a germ of an idea that I consider strong, and good, in-character motivations...

I am glad that you liked Rarity's scheme and that you felt the whole thing worked and felt natural. I liked Rarity's scheme too. :raritywink:

3259278
Incidentally, regarding Flutterspine:

Getting Fluttershy right was one of the later things to really get done in the fic. Fluttershy actually gets some real steel in her in late season 2 and season 3; while she has always had some, she herself comes to realize it a lot more. However, even when she's being assertive, she has a fundamental niceness to her, so you have to balance out the fact that she is being assertive and standing up for herself with the fact that ultimately she is a very nice, kind pony and doesn't want to hurt anyone. She was originally not nice enough at a couple points in the earlier versions of the story (particularly the initial confrontation), something I eventually managed to fix after getting the input of several people and figuring out how to change things so that she kept her spine but was still showing her characteristic trait of kindness and care for others.

It is actually very interesting how characters have changed over time; all of the characters have shown some growth, but Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash especially have changed a great deal since season 1. Rainbow Dash was very brash and arrogant in season 1, and slowly mellowed out over seasons 2 and 3, as well as showing a lot better leadership ability; she is still brash and arrogant, but she has tempered her negative qualities more. Likewise, early season 1 Fluttershy really was weak, and while she cowed the dragon, she could only really do things like that under extreme circumstances. Season 2 and 3 developed her more, so while she is still shy and nice, she isn't as much of a doormat and is much more able to stand up for herself and be her own pony. If this happened back in season 1, I doubt that Fluttershy would have even been willing to go on a blind date, let alone able stand up to Rainbow Dash about it, while Rainbow Dash would have been even worse about things.

Dash, you dun fucked up

3260616

Sounds like we're on the same wavelength. I too am neutral toward any pairing. The bias I have is from my research on the show and the characters. It stems from apparently a similar conclusion as you have.

Various characters have "sticking points" about them. If particular writer ignore those points, the character is rendered unbelievable. Applejack and her ties to her family and farm are one such sticking point. Any story that completely removes Applejack from that setting without any explanation is going to be awkward. These sticking points form basically a list of items that a story must address either by adhering to the canon as closely as possible or by creating a believable reason for breaking away. Again with the Applejack example, completely ignoring her ties to her family and farm by placing her in a Canterlot political struggle would be impossible to immerse the reader into. The story would have to at least provide some token reason why she's out of her element.

I think we both agree on the concepts that make up the FlutterDash dynamic, and I think your story hits the sticking points and remains very believable through to the end.

It is my belief that it isn't the ship that makes the story, but the skill of the author. I may prefer another ship, say TwiDash, but a well written story is always enjoyable. Maybe some ships do "work better" and are therefore easier to write well. It could also be that the outcome of a ship like FlutterDash may be doomed to the fairly chill dating when a reader really wants some heat and passion.

3260648
Aside from Applejack, I think all of the characters managed to grow to some degree through S2 and 3. I disagree that Fluttershy grew "a lot" though.

Fluttershy, alongside Pinkie, to me feel like social cripples. Pinkie is another discussion entirely, but there are parallels. I'll expand on her if you ask. Fluttershy though is presented as being so over the top shy that it outright cripples her ability to interact with others. From her introduction in S1E1 and onward, the majority of episode plots centered around her focus on her timidness. The episode with Iron WIll in particular stands out to illustrate her issues. She can't be moderate between the extremes of passive and aggressive. Even in situations where she is helped by her friends rather than the terrible Minotaur she still reacts to conflict by clamming up, hiding, and with avoidance. The problem boils over out of control, until drastic measures are needed, as with the conflict with Photo Finish and Rarity.

In each of those episodes, her issue of being timid is displayed, but rather than be assertive she loses control and has to be reigned in. In the end, she doesn't really grow much as we see her back to her old ways soon after for another episode. I don't feel she really grew much over time, just displayed a sort of roller coaster personality.

By contrast, Dash I feel actually grew from her various conflicts. While her image and reputation seem to remain important to her always, she is willing to set them aside and admit mistakes genuinely. Where Fluttershy constantly relapses into essentially the same problem, Dash faces different sorts of challenges in various episodes ranging from reeling in arrogance (Mare Do Well) to opening her mind to different ways of being cool (reading, Tank).

Some growth happened for Fluttershy, but her central issues still remain dominant I feel. I expect S4 to still have Fluttershy being afraid of things and having to overcome that fear. I expect she'll still have random outbursts of anger rather than actually learn what assertiveness is. RD on the other hand, I am eager to see how she develops further. I am curious if she'll face split loyalty conflicts between Ponyville/her friends and the Wonderbolts? Will she be given tasks by the princesses and have to lead her friends through danger? So many opportunities to see her array of talents develop even further.

Sticking points for Fluttershy pretty much have to deal with her stagnant character. While she isn't one-dimensional, she has fewer dimensions that most of the other characters to work with. She provides a challenge to write for in that she's basically a limited and fairly boring character, which means when an author pulls her off well it stands out more as with the case of your store.

>> McFarty

Talking ponies. Talking horses is just silly.

Unless of course of course it's the famous Mr. Ed.

This is so funny. Everyone is such a jerk. Oh Rarity, you are a genius. How did Dash not figure it out. Silly pony. I hope she realizes she does like Fluttershy. I love how well you have set everything up so well.

Wow that was so emotional. Rainbow is a jerk. You do an excellent job making the reader feel for the characters:fluttercry:

this was a lovely story, though the ending seemed a little..."cut"? i guess would be a word? sorta lead to there being more but, i suppose that just leaves the readers with their imagination to see what is next right?

3267954
I'm glad it worked for you. :twilightsmile:

3281877
Yes and no. While their actual further dating is left up to the reader's imagination, the reason that the story ends there is... that the story ends there. The central conflict of the story had been resolved, and Rainbow Dash decided to give dating Fluttershy a shot for real. Beyond that point would be them actually dating, but that would be a different story, with different questions to be answered and different conflicts to be dealt with.

3285590
that is what i mean, it eludes to the possibility of a continued story, if not the same. what i was implying is that you left room for another story to be written.

I was reading this so fast that when fluttershy said "Im scared of liking you." I thought it said ''im scared of killing you.'' I was like :rainbowderp: wat?

What a lovely story.

you should really write a bit more for this story. I usually like RD +AJ but this has definitely caught my attention and I really like it. :heart:

Sequel, NOW!! :3
Now you get a Derpy! :derpytongue2:

~Lizzy

:fluttercry: WHAT THE FUDGE RAINBOW?!

Im sad that the story has to end now, just as things start to get really nice.

awesome!!! i am curious about who is the true candidate of fluttershy ;)

awesomeeee *----*

I thought that this was going to be a set up for a situation where Rainbow would fall for Fluttershy, feel guilty for crashing Fluttershys date and start acting awkwardly, causing Fluttershy to decide they weren't right for each other, only for Rainbow to learn that she was Rarity's choice.:derpytongue2: I much prefer the simplicity of this approach, but can't help but wonder what could have been.

I have no idea how you savd it that well, and what i mean is, i thought it was going to turn into a very depressing story and i hate those kind of stories! :pinkiesad2: But some how, you were able to pull up and turn it into a great "love" story that didn't make me a sad brony! I was a little dissapointed that it ended right as it got to the good part but i do understand why you had to end it! All and all, i really liked this story! :rainbowkiss::yay:

I see what you're doing here. Rarity must be psychic or something, knowing that Dash would react in such a fashion that would force her to go on a date with Fluttershy. It's just... PERFECT!!! :rainbowkiss::heart::yay:

The ending was a cliff-hanger punch to the face but I loved the story overall!

4508347
Yeah, had to leave it until the very last moment. I'm evil like that. :moustache:

I'm glad you liked it!

Cute. :heart: Flutterdash is love.

I have not laughed this hard in a long time. Never change, Rarity. Never change. Brilliant is all I am going to say on the matter.

Apart from that, the character interaction was top notch. I could actually see the characters figuring out how they felt about the situation. Excellent attention to detail from flight school to flowers. Very well done. Have a like, a fav, and a ribbon:
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png

(This would be a feature recommendation as well, but I am informed that TL featuring is allegedly for fics below 1,000 views, and we are trying to be more consistent about it :ajsleepy: I can give you a user page spot at least.)

4912610
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much; it is always nice to hear that someone enjoyed something so much that they recommended it to others.

I really need to get back to my roots and actually finish some of my outstanding shipfics that I've got half-written, because people really enjoyed these stories.

Glad I could brighten your day with a good story. :twilightsmile:

4913606
Incidentally, if you're looking for another good story about Rainbow Dash being a bonehead about love (though in a rather different respect), you might enjoy Spring is Dumb by HoofBitingActionOverload. It is quite good, and very funny.

4913613
I might have to check that out, thank you.

Cute story.

The ending wasn't really what I wanted. I mean, I didn't suddenly expect Rainbow Dash to realize she was in love with Fluttershy and I didn't want Fluttershy to forgive her immediately, but this ended up somewhere in the middle and I don't like it. It seems too... depressing. I don't feel hopeful. I feel like they're going to have another awkward date and then call the whole thing off. Nothing seems certain enough. In fact, I feel as though there's now an even bigger rift between them and that, maybe, Fluttershy is hurt worse than she's letting on. Even if this wasn't intended, I feel like this didn't end on a positive note, but instead left me feeling like the ending wasn't worth the journey.

5120648
I would love to say that you're wrong, but I deliberately left the ending of the story open, because I don't know the answer. Do they get together? Do they stay together?

That's not something I hold the answer to. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. It is hard to say. Death of the author and all that. Maybe things do work out. Maybe they can't. Maybe Fluttershy really is hurting, and this only twists the knife in deeper.

I am sorry that you felt like the journey was negated by the destination, though. My other shipfics have been much less open-ended; if you liked this, other than its ambiguous ending, you might enjoy Crepes or Temptation, or maybe even The Wraith of Ponyville.

5120733 I did enjoy this story, so I will probably check those out.

Mhpf. I don't really know what to think about this story. Or to be more specific, I have very contradicting feelings towards this story, and I'm not sure if I like it overall. I saw the twist coming as soon as I read the synopsis, before I even read a single word of the story. Rainbow is being an idiot and comes up with a crazy plan to protect Fluttershy that will inevitably end up with her being hurt and mad at her, but then again, that's kind of the point, and I can buy that Rainbow makes this kind of decision. Rarity banking on Rainbow to make said plan however is kind of a stretch. The characters feel stupid for what they do, but they feel intelligent for how they're doing it. You have a predictable twist that feels like it's their for the sole purpose of having a twist, but then Rarity has a legitimate reason for why she thinks Rainbow likes Flutters. It all leads up to a contrived relationship, but then it doesn't, and has this totally reasonable ending instead. The only thing that's clearly positive is the writing.

So... I think it's slightly more love than hate overall. But I'd definitely like this more if it didn't have the twist.

3259035 What does the writing in your avatar say?
4912610 What does the writing in your avatar say?

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

5517141
FP: "I find fezzes to be charmingly rustic"
DH: "Oi!"

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity said sternly. "Now why would you say a hurtful thing like that?"

"Because it's true!"

Rarity's voice rose in surprise. "What?"

"I don't like her, Rarity! I don't have a crush on her! I never did! If I wanted to ask out Fluttershy, I would have done it myself!"

This. I'm a sucker for stories where things don't go right in romance stories. The whole time I was reading this story (the first time) I kept waiting for the obligatory sappy path that would take us to the obligatory sappy, happy ending. In the back of my head I kept re-writing the story to have things go dark and go completely wrong between RD and FS just to give it some real spice. When you actually went and gave me the 'everything goes wrong' part I was stunned. That made this story go on my favorites list right then and there.The way the ending went was perfect; it was a wonderful balance to the heartbreak earlier; there was no solid happy ending, just the promise of an attempt of one based upon very good reasons.

Thanks.

6041886
I'm glad you liked it!

Far too many stories fail to have any real conflict in them, and indeed, that was the impetus behind the contest that this story was originally written for - writing a FlutterDash story with real conflict in it. So I went with something that I felt was true to the characters as I perceive them.

Thank you for reading and commenting, I always appreciate it. :twilightsmile:

Finally! This is the romance story I've been searching for! I can't stand it when they feel so contrived in putting two character together and then dump even more contrivance on it to create conflict. I may or may not be sending a PM to knighty asking for more thumb-uping power for this story.

6309154
Thank you! It is really easy to fall into a trap while writing a shipfic of the two characters getting together because the author demands it, and this was definitely a story where I wanted to write something that felt natural. I'm glad it worked so well for you. :twilightsmile:

I am pleased that the fact that Rarity had planned for Dash to 'steal' Fluttershy's date wasn't an "unexpected plot twist" in the end.

In a purely technical sense, it seems alright, but far from perfect. As for the idea and execution thereof... it seems by the story's stats and my experience reading it that those are what make and break one's story. :coolphoto: Again, see my first line; I'm glad you took the story in this direction, where the character interactions are much more meaningful.

8109699
I'm glad you enjoyed it! I like writing stuff like this, and I'm glad it has been generally successful with folks. Trying to get people to act natural - and trying to avoid standard melodramatic plot twists - is interesting to me, and I think makes for better stories. I'm glad you approved of the course the story took.

This was only the second story I ever wrote, so I'm glad that the technical stuff wasn't too much of an issue for you.

Why is Rainbiw always such a prat?:rainbowlaugh:

Login or register to comment