• Member Since 20th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 13th, 2018

True Blood


E

Hearth’s Warming is a special time of year: a time for giving, a time for receiving, and a time for friendship. And for some, a time of great romance, second only to Hearts and Hooves day. Many a couple will spend the cold winter nights curled up in front of fireplaces all over Equestria. This year, Fluttershy is determined to make something of it. She knows who she would like to spend the winter months with. All she needs now is the courage to ask the bravest, fastest, most amazing pegasus in all of Equestria, out on a date.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 71 )

THIS IS AWESOMELY BEAUTIFUL.

This is definitely promising already! A very good start so far, and it's nice how you managed to bring in some other elements that help to add to the story very well. :twilightsmile: Good stuff!

Very interesting. You did a nice job portraying the characters here. I'm loving this story!

Great start. You have really gotten into Fluttershy's head well there. I'm keen to see more. :yay::heart::rainbowkiss:

That... If you are not writing another chapter, I demand you to. That was really good.:rainbowkiss:

Haha, thank's everyone. I'm really excited about the feedback I've been getting from you all. I'm planning on having one to two more chapters out before christmas (that's the plan anyway, heh), so you can expect more of this story soon :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Lordcolgate15 deleted Dec 28th, 2012

1774803

You lied its after christmas and there is still only one chapter:raritydespair:
I cant wait for more :yay:

When I read the end:
A shot right to the feels. :fluttershbad:

Wow.. that was really powerful.. :fluttercry:

Take all my feels. You earned them

Where to begin?
Fluttershy's actions at the begining of the chapter scared me, it was ereily realistic. Once her friends snapped her out of it, all she saw in the warmth of Hearths Warming was the ice of loneliness, much like I felt before meeting my girlfriend. Once Dash came back, she fully healed and forgave Dash, causing my feels to overload.
Overall: one of the best stories I have read.
I look forward to chapter 4 with the same giddy excitment as a schoolfoal. :twilightsmile:

Aww.. I love the idea of pegasi exchanging a feather as a sign of love! :yay:

This is a very heart warming story! Great job! :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by lolnopenothappening deleted Dec 16th, 2015

How sweet! :twilightsmile: A couple of stories have played with the idea of pegasi exchanging a special feather as a sign of love, and this was a nice little play on that ideal. So cute! This was a lovely chapter. :pinkiehappy:

:yay::heart::rainbowkiss:

Very good chapter. Just a very sweet scene.

This review is brought to you by the group 'Authors Helping Authors'

Name: Never Too Shy to Love

Grammar: 8/10
There are a few misplaced commas, punctuation marks, capitalization issues (Pegasus, pegasus) and the odd mistake when dealing with dialogue, but honestly, it was uncommon enough to not impact my enjoyment. (Though I did feel that your use of '?!?!' was unnecessary)

Pros:
- The way you depicted Fluttershy and her inner thoughts was entirely believable.
- Your writing flows very well, making it easy to get lost in the world that you've weaved.
- Great character interaction.
- You're clear of the general 'everything is gonna happen and it's all smiles and cheeriness' mark that tends to blight ship-fics.

Cons:
- The way you split up the dialogue is sometimes confusing, especially when you have multiple paragraphs in a row despite the fact that it's the same character speaking. There's also a lot of instances where dialogue of one character is immediately followed by the actions of another within the same paragraph. Sometimes this was entirely necessary, but there were a few instances where it seemed really out of place.
- Slightly questionable actions from certain characters. (Though certainly not unreasonable)
- I... erm... am not fond of the pairing? Damn it! I'm clutching at straws here!

Notes:
This has been a very good read so far and I'm looking forward to future updates. Aside from some occasional issues with grammar and dialogue, I can't fault the story itself. It's been told extremely well, (though I'd be interested to know a little more about Applejack and Rarity, but that's obviously not the focus) and is genuinely enjoyable to read.

Keep it up! :pinkiesmile:

2229461
Hey, thanks for your review! As far as grammar goes, yes, I'm hopeless with commas and punctuation marks, and my work processor likes to capitalise "pegasus" itself, even when I've told it several times not to.

My original aspiration with this story was to get into Fluttershy's head as much as I could. She's always been a very underdeveloped character in the show. Not that she got less screen time than the rest of the mane 6, but the show never really gets inter her mindset.

The dialogue splitting is mostly down to my own ignorance. I usually just write it as its written in my head, which usually involves horrific grammar and punctuation.

If you wouldn't mind too, a bit of elaboration on the "questionable actions from characters" would be great, like an example or two. I always worry that the characters I'm writing about haven't been properly portrayed in my stories, and I crave detailed feedback on that kind of stuff.

Thanks again for your review! I might need to take a course in grammar or something to see if I can hammer out my bad writing habits. Either that or find an editor...

2230464

When I said 'questionable character actions' I was kind of thinking about how none of them (except for Rainbow, of course) were at all taken aback by Fluttershy's confession. I'd have thought Twilight in particular wouldn't have been so casual about it, but I guess that's down to how I perceive the characters. (Given that we wouldn't see this kind of romance in the show it leaves it pretty much open for interpretation)

And Twilight hitting Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash pulling her house miles away from Ponyville just seemed a little off for me, as was the fact that everyone was just assuming that Rainbow was coming back without much worry. Again, it's probably more down to how I perceive the characters than a straight-up OOC moment. You didn't do anything wrong as such, just that it wouldn't have been how I'd write them. I simply can't fault your take on Fluttershy, though. :twilightsmile:

2230585
Mm, none of them were really taken aback because it wasnt the first of their friends to get together. (I'll probably end up writing the RariJack ship eventually). Maybe I could have had them react differently, but they're all such close friends, the idea that any of them would be opposed to Fluttershy and Dash being happy together just doesn't sit with me.

I knew having Twilight slap Fluttershy was a risk, but I wanted to really express just how deep Fluttershy was in her depression, that something so drastic was needed to snap her out of it.

As for Rainbow dragging her house with her, that sort of just happened without much thought on my part. It helped as a tool to emphasise how big a deal it was when she came back too, and a lot of my proof readers liked it and immediately wanted to know what Dash did with it when she came back at the end of chapter 3. There was never any doubt that she would come back without worry, being the Element of Loyalty as she is.

Thanks for the elaboration though :twilightsmile: I really appreciate any and all feedback. Maybe I'll give this a re-write some time, next I feel like trying to get onto EQD.

2230793

I didn't mean that I'd expect any of them to be against Flutters and RD being together, just that it might have come as a huge surprise, enough to make their jaws drop. But again, this is just how I'd have written it. It's really not a big thing, and I partially mentioned it because otherwise my list of cons would be woefully short. :twilightblush:

Good luck trying to get onto EQD... I've tried and failed, getting pulled up on things that I had no idea were an issue, (apparently you MUST write 'okay' not 'OK') and having things ridiculed that other readers loved. I'm personally not even going to try anymore. So long as I have a fair few readers for my fics, I'm happy.:moustache:

Oh God... feels...
Feels overload. :pinkiehappy:
yay...:yay:

Comment posted by Dead Account 19 deleted Mar 9th, 2013

That feather thing. That was the most sappy, mushy, over the top romantic thing I've ever seen... I LOVED THAT SO MUCH!!!!!! *cries*:raritycry:

one things for sure you really understand depression, expectantly the constant need of distractions (known from unfortunate experiences)

2930627
Ahh yes, the feeling is a familiar one. Not hugely unlike the unhappiness I feel at leaving all my readers hanging for so long, but I just don't have the motivation to write anything. Plently of new story ideas flowing through my cranium, but no real drive to get anything down and into words. :facehoof:

Ironically, where I'm up to writing in chapter 5, the last words I've written are "at a complete and utter loss for something to write" or something along those lines. I had absolutely no intention of leaving it there either, it just worked out that way.

I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far though (at least, I think you have?), but I can't give you any info as to when chapter 5 will be out. Sorry about that.

~True Blood

2934248 Will be reading this later, let's see what we got :yay: Edit: Eh why not I'll follow you too :D

Very powerful chapter. It felt so real... you brought tears to my eyes with all the pain Fluttershy was going thorugh.

When they had that final day, I knew Dash would come back to her then, I was expecting her to burst in, RD style when Fluttershy was singing with her friends. But how you did it was so much better and cuter :rainbowkiss::heart::yay:

now comes the fun part, cause thier friends dont know.

It isn't even Thanksgiving

please note, the story is still listed as incomplete.

It looked like everything was going to be just fine.

Famous last words Twilight...:facehoof: that makes me think something rather bad will happen soon.

I don't think you lost your touch at all anywhere in the story. The whole thing held up really well. The ending was cute too :rainbowkiss::heart::yay:

I'm kinda sad its all over, but it was a really good tale. Good enough for a follow for the author too. :pinkiehappy:
But that depends, will your next one be Flutterdash too? Because I would be interested in seeing it when it comes out.

3515064 Thanks so much! :twilightsmile: I really appreciate it and I hope you enjoy it when you get around to reading it.

3516078 Er... not entirely sure what significance that has, but cool, thanks for the comment :twilightsheepish:

3516248 Thanks for letting me know. I uploaded this chapter late last night and was in a bit of a rush to get to bed :applejackconfused: As for the next story, the one I'm writing will have elements of FlutterDash in it, but only in the sense that this story features elements of RariJack, Featured, possibly quite heavily, due to them being in the same "universe", but not the main theme of the story. This was my first pure romance story, and I really just did it to see if I could. The next one is more of an adventure story centered around Twilight. I'll post a synopsis about it in my blog at some point. Sorry if you're dissapointed :applecry: I honestly don't know where I'd go with another pure FlutterDash story.

Oh also, that line right at the end there was more of a reference to the Season 3 finale, since this story is set before season 3. My idea of a little pun, haha :twilightoops:

3515909 Yeah, I honestly thought of having her make her grand appearance like that, but it wasn't really with the theme I was going for with this story. I wanted to explore the hidden sides of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy that existed in my mind (and now this story), and I'm happy with the result. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :raritystarry:

3516392 your story still sounds like Id check it out, even though the Flutterdash is not the feature of the story. Just let me know when its out and i'll give it a read :pinkiehappy:

Very cute. The reveal that, "Dash, you've never flown that far through Ghastly Gorge before!" was pretty cliche, but that's okay. As for Twilight's letter at the end, that stuck out to me as being unnecessary and felt tacked on. It's obviously been awhile since I read the previous chapters, so maybe it would seem more fitting if those were taken into context, but for this chapter, I don't think it worked. Sure, you had that bit of foreshadowing regarding the letter earlier in the chapter, but I think a story where Dash and Fluttershy are the focus should end with Dash and Fluttershy.

That said, I liked the story as a whole. Have an upwards-pointing thumb.

3517643 Yeah, I was worried about that, but I wanted to sort of sum up the sub-plot of Twilight's perspective of the whole ordeal. Probably completely unnecessary, as you've pointed out, but I also wanted to have a show-esque feel to the ending, and what better a way to do that than a letter to the princess?

And yeah... I facepalmed pretty hard at that cliche too.

Thanks so much for your feedback, I really appreciate it :twilightsmile: You've got a really good point and I'll keep it in mind.

~ True Blood

Zecora must have been hard to write.

3520127 Yeah, Zecora's dialogue is tricky to write, but it's actually a lot of fun. Poetry never was my strong point, but rhyming couplets are easy enough and it's really fun finding interesting ways to write them into regular dialogue.

3516078>>3516392

**the story started out last december... 12/8/12

**good story. it was wonderful =)

Wow. That was powerful. I adore how you have written Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. They are perfect. You honestly could have ended the story here, but I am looking forward to chapters 4 and 5. :twilightsmile:

(Mmmmm tomorrow. :raritywink: )

Well it took me a while to get around to actually reading the last chapter, but I'm glad I did. The scene at Ghastly Gorge was so tense, and I just loved Dash's first reaction to Fluttershy being there. For a pairing that I was never really a fan of, I liked this fic a lot. The way your writing flows always makes me feel involved in the story. And Twilight's obliviousness? So adorable. :twilightsmile: You deserve way more views and comments. Keep up the good work!

Hmm this was good. Im going to need to write Zecora's dialogue in one of my stories. This was a good confidence boost. Also great chapter! You've got Fluttershy nailed!

:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry: nuuuuuuuuu poor Fluttershy

Awwww so cute! I don't know why I hadn't read this sooner!

And by the way, hay fries I can see, but hay bacon? That one is new lol

3791101 Haha, I'm glad you're enjoying it. The best part about being a writer is seeing the reactions of my readers :twilightsmile:

Also yes, hay bacon. I can't remember where I saw it, whether in the show or in a story I read, but I liked the idea :twilightblush:

Just gonna say I really loved this story! Okay that's all

This was really sweet, heartwarming, and just really great. :scootangel:
From the start to the confession to the depression to the mini adventure plot to the sweet ending it was all great.:yay:
A 9.5/10 :ajsmug: (Not that my rating means anything :twilightsheepish:)

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