3 - A Friend in Need
“Come on Fluttershy darling, I know you’re in there, why don’t you come outside?” No sound came from the cottage on the edge of the forest as Rarity knocked on the door. She had come every day for a week, and had not garnered a single response.
Fluttershy had been seen openly crying, flying through town from Sugarcube Corner to her cottage a week ago, and had not been seen since. It was not until Pinkie Pie filled them in that everypony knew what had happened.
Incidentally, nopony had seen Rainbow Dash in the week either.
The loss of two of their friends had shaken Rarity, Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie Pie, but it had not given them leave from their duties around Ponyville in order to prepare for the Hearth’s Warming festival.
The festival was a week-long celebration leading up to Hearth’s Warming, and was just beginning to get into full swing. None of the remaining four of the gang felt like celebrating. Fluttershy was clearly distraught over Rainbow’s rejection, and nopony seemed to know why Dash was being so distant. Her house had even vanished from the skies over Ponyville.
Rarity knocked on the cottage door once more, before sighing.
“Fluttershy, you’ve been holed up there for a week now. If you don’t open the door this instant, you leave me no choice but to commit an act so unladylike, I don’t know if I could ever forgive myself were the situation a normal one.” She paused to see if this would gain any reaction. When it didn’t, she continued. “Alright, you leave me no choice: I have to kick your door down.”
She was just in the process of turning around and tensing her back legs for a powerful kick to the door, when it opened a crack, revealing Angel. The rabbit looked extremely irritated, and was clearly quite stressed. One of his ears twitched as he waved a paw in invitation before throwing the door open further, and hopping over to the couch.
Lying on the couch, Rarity saw as she entered, was Fluttershy. The pegasus was lying on her side, a blank expression on her face. She was awake, unless she could sleep with her eyes open, but she didn’t blink, and showed no reaction when Rarity trotted over and sat down on the floor in front of her.
“Fluttershy darling?” Rarity queried, waving a hoof in front of her friend’s face. Still no reaction was forthcoming, and Rarity sighed. Forced to result to desperate measures, she reached into her saddleback, and pulled out a small, nondescript clay jar. Opening the lid, she waved the jar under Fluttershy’s nose.
Fluttershy jerked, coughing, and jolted upright.
“Rainbow Dash! Don’t leave…” her shriek cut off as she noticed Rarity for the first time, and her face fell. “Oh, hello Rarity.” Her voice had dropped into a monotone. It was the tone of a pony who believed she had nothing to be happy about. Rarity had seen it happen in young fashion models who didn’t get the results they were expecting. She had never seen it this get this bad before though.
Fluttershy’s was an expression of someone who had suffered complete and utter defeat. Rarity lidded the clay jar and, putting it away, gave Fluttershy a level-headed, examining stare.
“Fluttershy, are you alright? You haven’t come out of your cottage in a week.” Fluttershy glanced around her cottage blearily, as if seeing it for the first time in said week. Her expression never changed.
“I’m fine, thank you for calling in.” She kept up the heartless monotone, and it almost crushed Rarity’s soul. What could be done to break Fluttershy out of this? Usually a trip to the spa fixed up disappointed models easy enough, but this wasn’t as simple as fashion show results.
Fluttershy had a truly broken heart, and Rarity was lost as to what she could do. Then, an idea struck her, and she barely contained a gasp.
“Fluttershy, why don’t you come to the festival? It’s bound to be filled with fun, and it just won’t be the same without you.” Fluttershy shook her head.
“Thank you Rarity, but no. I’m not in the mood for a festival. If that’s all you wanted to say, I’ll see you later. Thank you for stopping by.” Rarity groaned, and smacked her forehead with a hoof. There was clearly nothing that she could do on her own to get Fluttershy out of her cottage.
She stood and made for the door, a plan forming in her head.
“Alright Fluttershy, goodbye darling, I’ll talk to you later.” Fluttershy simply nodded, her face blank, staring directly forward, at a right angle to Rarity. Sighing, Rarity turned and walked out the door.
An hour later, she returned with Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie Pie in tow. Without bothering to knock and wait for a reply, she immediately turned and bucked the door open. The four ponies stormed inside.
Fluttershy hadn’t moved since Rarity had left. She was still staring blankly at the wall, not blinking or even twitching. Pinkie bolted straight over to the pegasus, and burst into a string of questions.
“Oh my gosh Fluttershy, are you okay? I heard what happened when Rainbow Dash left the shop a week ago, and I didn’t know what to do! I had no idea she would reject you, the thought didn’t even cross my mind! I’m so so so sorry, this is all my fault. If I hadn’t gone to get Dash when you came in for lunch, you never would have asked her out, and she never would have turned you down…” she was cut off as a purple aura surrounded her mouth, sealing her lips shut.
Twilight trotted over, her horn alight, and sat down next to Fluttershy, placing a comforting hoof on her foreleg. This produced a twitch, which was the first reaction the pegasus had shown since the four had arrived.
“Fluttershy, please. Talk to us.” Fluttershy turned to face Twilight, her expressionless gaze making the unicorn quite uncomfortable.
“Talk to you about what Twilight?” she asked, her monotone making the four new arrivals shift uncomfortably.
“Well, frankly, anything!” Twilight replied, leaning forward. Fluttershy recoiled, leaping off the lounge away from the unicorn, before immediately regaining her composure and trotted slowly towards the door.
“There’s nothing to talk about” was the only reply she gave. Twilight smiled, clearly thinking she had the upper hoof now.
“Well.’ She said smugly. “Then you won’t mind coming with us to the Hearth’s Warming eve festival then!” Fluttershy stared back with a bleak expression.
“No thank you.” The short reply left Twilight slightly speechless, but the unicorn was determined.
“I’m sorry Fluttershy, but I just won’t accept that. I’m not going to sit about watching you lose yourself in this depression any longer! You’re coming with us to the festival whether you like it or not.” Fluttershy’s face didn’t change. She simply shrugged her shoulders, and opened the door.
“Well, if you insist. If we’re going to go, then let’s go.” Pinkie tore out the door, clearly desperate to be in a more cheerful atmosphere, and was out of sight by the time the others made their way to the exit.
~~~~~~~~~~
The ground moved slowly by beneath her. She didn’t care. The sounds of the festival flowed over, and off of her without drawing so much as a glance. Hundreds of ponies passed her by, celebrating the onset of Hearth’s Warming. She ignored them. She was vaguely aware of her friends, sans Pinkie Pie, trotting along around her. She paid them little heed.
If her friends wanted to drag her out of her home to the festival then let them, why did it matter? Rainbow Dash had left them – left her – and was now gone. It was all her own stupid fault: if she had just kept her mouth shut, and kept her feelings hidden, none of this would have happened. Dash would still be here, and she would still get to spend time together with her.
But now, she couldn’t believe she would ever see Dash again. If she was ever going to come back, why would she have left in the first place?
She stared at the ground as she walked, kept in the right direction by her friends, who bumped her lightly to correct her trajectory. All of it was of little consequence.
She became dimly aware of the sounds and smells of food. She had barely eaten anything in the last week, but didn’t care: she didn’t feel like eating. All of the food she had ingested, mostly at the insistence of Angel, was as tasteless as cardboard. Her mind knew it was in fact, quite a tasty daffodil and daisy sandwich, but her shattered heart leeched all the flavour out, until all she could taste was a dry husk.
Despite all the sorrow that was flowing through her, she couldn’t bring herself to cry. Tears had run down her face almost non-stop for the first two days, but once that had finished, they had not started again.
She didn’t even feel sad anymore. She only felt numb.
A candy apple was offered to her, with a recommendation from one of her friends that she didn’t hear. She ignored it.
She was dragged around the festival until the sun was low in the sky, but she barely registered the passage of time. It could have been five minutes, or it could have been five days: it wouldn’t have mattered either way.
Her gaze only lifted from the ground once she found herself traversing the well-worn track through the fields towards her cottage. So they had finally taken her home? She didn’t remember anything of the festival. Part of her knew that she was being ridiculous. It was that small part that most often spoke sense, but was usually ignored, even at the best of times. Now, she didn’t even hear it.
She kept her pace, and moved up to her front door. She turned around, and was about to open her mouth the thank her friends for coming, and for taking her out to the celebrations in town, and to wish them all well and hope they would return soon.
She never got the chance, as a hoof suddenly connected with the side of her face in a full-strength slap.
Dazed, she staggered sideways, and rested on the doorframe to regain her balance. Once the world stopped spinning, she saw Twilight standing in front of her, hoof extended, with the rest of her friends – minus the obvious – staring at the unicorn with shocked expressions. There were tears in Twilight’s eyes, and when she spoke, her voice shook, half with anger, and half with sadness.
“Fluttershy, you may want to spend the rest of your life holed up inside your cottage, away from the world, but by Celestia I will do everything, and I repeat, EVERYTHING I can to snap you out of this.” Fluttershy raised a hoof to her cheek, which was stinging from the slap. It was the first real feeling she had felt since the tears had stopped. Twilight continued mercilessly.
“Have you even considered what you’re doing to your friends? Pinkie Pie hasn’t smiled at all since you left Sugarcube Corner in tears a week ago. And this is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about! We know you’re upset, and we know you’re heartbroken, but for Celestia’s sake, let us help you.” Fluttershy stared at the offending unicorn for a few moments, before her stare turned to a glare.
How dare Twilight assume to know what she was going through? How dare Twilight demand anything of her after what had happened. And how dare Twilight slap her! She pushed off from the door, and shoved her face into Twilight’s.
“Do you even know what I’m going through?” she demanded, menace lacing her words. “Do you have ANY idea how much I am suffering?” When Twilight didn’t respond, she shook her head. “I didn’t think so. Do you want to know how much I’m suffering?” Still no response, so she continued.
“None! I’m not suffering at all!” A brief look of confusion decorated Twilight’s features, and Fluttershy grinned. “And do you know why? Because I am numb. I don’t feel anything. Do you know why I don’t feel anything?” Twilight finally managed to shaker her head, and Fluttershy backed off slightly before continuing. “Because Rainbow Dash left. She left because I was stupid enough to believe that if I acted on my feelings, things would turn out alright. Now she’s gone for good, and it’s all because of my feelings. Not even your stupid books could help that.”
Rarity stepped forward, clearly about to intervene, but before she could, Twilight raised a hoof to stop her. The librarian took several deep breaths before replying.
“I stepped outside for the first time in a week yesterday.” Fluttershy blinked. “In all the time I spent in bed, nursing my horn, I’ve barely been alone for as long as an hour at a time. And do you know why?” Fluttershy didn’t respond, unsure of where Twilight was going with this. “I haven’t been alone, because my friends have been by my side the entire time, supporting me, and helping me to get better.” The unicorn took a step forward, and Fluttershy flinched.
“When you’re hurt, or in need, you can always rely on your friends to be there for you every step of the way.” The tears ran freely down Twilight’s cheeks as she spoke, her voice losing its anger, and adopting a caring kindness that Fluttershy tried to ignore. “You may be right: books may not have been able to help avoid what happened. In fact, I would say that they quite clearly didn’t, because we spent long enough looking over them, and Dash still left.” The shattered remains of Fluttershy’s heart broke into still smaller pieces at this statement, but before she could lash out, or break down, or do any of the huge number of things that she felt like doing, Twilight continued.
“No, books may not be able to help you now, but we can. We all care about you Fluttershy. What hurts you hurts us too, and all we want to do is help you. For example, did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, Rainbow Dash left because she needed time on her own to sort this out?” All of Fluttershy’s thought processes stopped in their tracks.
“Dash has never been a pony to ask for help, and she might just need some time alone to get all this straight in her head.” Fluttershy’s cheek throbbed. “Pinkie heard the whole thing in Sugarcube Corner a week ago, and Dash never did give you an answer, did she? She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no either.” Fluttershy’s cheek throbbed again, the pain making her wince.
Several seconds later, it was as if a dam had broken and she fell to the ground in tears. Her stomach ached with hunger, her throat felt parched with thirst, and the remains of her heart burned in agony over how she had treated her friends. Twilight was right: Rainbow never had given her an answer. She had just been so caught up over the fact that Dash had flown away, that she hadn’t realised the obvious.
And she had made her friends suffer because of it.
Twilight wrapped a tentative hoof around her neck, and Fluttershy threw herself into the embrace, sobbing desperately into the unicorn’s coat. Twilight held her close, and stroked her mane, the way her mother used to when she cried about bullies in flight school.
She didn’t know how long she stayed like that with Twilight, but eventually, her other friends joined in on the hug as well.
She really did owe it to her friends – and to herself as well – to be strong, and put on a brave face until Dash returned.
Because of course Dash would come back. She was the element of loyalty, after all.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rainbow Dash groaned, her wing muscles throbbed with a fierce ache, and she squinted in the late afternoon light. Sweat glistened on her body, and ran in beads down her face. Yes, sweat, that was it. She wasn’t crying. She didn’t cry.
She landed on a rocky outcropping and slumped onto the hard ground. Who was she kidding? She wasn’t tough. She had proved that when she had bolted from Sugarcube Corner, grabbed her house, and flew as far as she could before sunset. She flew as far as she could the day after that, and the day after that. She had flown as fast as she could away from Ponyville for almost a week.
She was now residing beside a tall, cliffy mountain somewhere far from the lands of Equestria. Even dragging her house, she could outpace any form of ground travel, and so had covered a huge distance.
She had had all that time to think, but she hadn’t managed to sort anything out at all. She thought she would have more time before Fluttershy came out and admitted her feelings; she thought she would have more time to think it all through before she would need to act. How was she meant to know Fluttershy would suddenly stop being shy?
She groaned again. She had been through this line of thought a hundred times over the past five days. She thought she must have covered every line of thought possible about the issue, but she still didn’t have any answers.
What was she supposed to do? When she had been flying over the library, and had heard Fluttershy’s terrified proclamation, it had shaken her. She had flown up to the highest layers of cloud, and stayed there for hours, wondering what she could do.
Before that day, she had barely spared a single thought to the subject of romance. She had always been too busy practicing to bother.
What about all the time you spend napping? You had plenty of time to think about it then. The small voice wormed its way uninvited into her head, and she sighed. Her subconscious was right: she had had plenty of time, she just hadn’t bothered. It had just never been much of a priority for her, and now she was paying the price.
Did she even like mares? All her filly-hood fantasies had all been of flying with the Wonderbolts, not marrying a rich, handsome stallion like some other ponies she knew. She sighed, and tried to think of it objectively.
How do you feel about Fluttershy liking other mares?
The concept of fillyfooling had never overly bothered Dash. She had seen several two-mare couples around Ponyville, and had never thought twice about it. Two of her close friends were dating each other for pony’s sake, so she had absolutely nothing against it.
How do you feel about Fluttershy liking you?
This question gave her significantly more trouble. Having never given much thought to the matter of relationships, she wasn’t sure how she was meant to respond to something like that. She supposed that she wasn’t opposed to the fact that Fluttershy liked her. This led to inevitable question that she knew she had no direct answer for.
Do you like her?
Of course she liked Fluttershy, half of her immediately huffed, but her rational half chastised her, and pointed out that it wasn’t what the question was asking. She forced herself the rephrase the question, so she couldn’t avoid it.
Do you have feelings for Fluttershy?
Dash wasn’t sure. Fluttershy was attractive, if she thought about it. She was well-proportioned with graceful wings and a pretty face. Her eyes always held an expression of kindness and caring, and she was always willing to lend a helping hoof to anypony in need. She could be determined, when motivated enough, and tried her best with everything she did.
Fluttershy had a lot of attractive traits, to be sure, but the timid mare was just so different to her. Dash was fast-paced, lived in the moment, and spent most of her time flying by the seat of her pants. Fluttershy, on the other hoof, was timid, preferred walking to flying, and spent her time caring for woodland creatures, away from other ponies. Dash groaned.
She had been over this before. Yes, Fluttershy was all of those things, but none of them were negative traits. Dash had proven that she herself was shy when it came to things like relationships, and there was nothing wrong with walking. Caring for critters was Fluttershy’s special talent, and showed that her heart was filled with kindness. It WAS her Element of Harmony after all.
So, do you have an answer?
Dash supposed she did. If she thought about it enough, she could see that she did have feelings for Fluttershy, but where did that get her? She didn’t even know if she was ready for a relationship – she wasn’t sure if she could commit to something like that. She was a free spirit, and a relationship might end up being a rope holding her back.
What would it mean for the rest of their friends? She didn’t suppose it would affect the group too much – Rarity and Applejack had gotten together without creating too big a splash – but what if it didn’t work out? What if, later, the relationship fell apart, and they stopped being friends?
She wasn’t sure she was ready for that eventuality. It could break apart the whole group, not to mention the Elements of Harmony. Was she willing to take that risk?
She didn’t know. She took risks when she was flying, but they were always calculated, and could not affect anypony but her. So what was she to do?
She huffed, and rested her head on her forehooves, resigned to asking herself the same questions again, trying to come up with an answer that would help.
~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Princess Celestia
Twilight paused. She had been trying to write a letter to the Princess explaining the situation with Fluttershy, but she wasn’t overly sure how she should word it. She didn’t want to make it sound like Fluttershy was being silly – the fact that she was didn’t help – but every time she went to write the letter, it just never seemed to come out right.
“You know, maybe the fact that you don’t know what to write, means that you shouldn’t be writing anything?” Spike was lying on the floor beside Twilight’s desk, eating a small portion of ice cream from a bowl.
Late afternoon sunlight shone through the window, and Twilight closed her eyes and basked in the last drops of warmth before the cold night set in.
“You might be right Spike” Twilight replied. “But still, I feel the Princess needs to know what’s going on. I mean, I wrote her a letter when Applejack and Rarity got together, informing her of the situation then.” Spike tapped the edge of the bowl with his spoon for a moment, before pointing it at Twilight.
“Yes, you did, but you sent her the letter after they got together. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy aren’t a couple yet, so there’s nothing to write about.” Twilight raised an eyebrow at her assistant’s assuredness.
“What do you mean ‘yet’? And how can you say there’s nothing to worry about? Fluttershy locked herself in her cottage for a week, and Dash has been gone for just as long! The Elements of Harmony gain their power from the bond we share as friends, so what if something happens and the Elements are needed? The Princess needs to know about this Spike.” Spike sighed, and licked his bowl clean.
“I really doubt anything is going to happen in the next few weeks Twilight. If it were me, I’d wait till New Year’s Day, and if Rainbow isn’t back by then, then write a letter to the Princess. But if you really feel the need to write a letter now, you might want to think about making it sound less like a friendship report.” He picked up one of the many scrunched up pieces of paper that were Twilight’s previous failed attempts at writing the letter. He opened it up, smoothed it out, and looked it over.
“I mean, your friendship reports are all about the sappy stuff you’ve learned about friendship, but you haven’t learned anything from this yet.” He read the failed draft out loud. “Dear Princess Celestia: It isn’t always easy when you have a friend who needs your help, but won’t accept it. Recently Fluttershy has been having romantic problems with Rainbow Dash…” Having reached the point where Twilight had given up on that particular draft, he re-scrunched the paper, and tossed it into the bin.
“Twilight, I think you’re overthinking this. You already learned that you can rely on your friends that one time when Applejack tried to harvest all her apple trees on her own. Even then, you already knew that: she was the only one who learned anything.” Twilight sighed, and looked back to her latest sheet of paper.
Spike was right: she was trying too hard to make it sound like another one of her friendship reports, that she was missing the point in sending the letter in the first place. She hadn’t learned anything that she didn’t already know yet, but the Princess still needed to be warned as soon as possible.
She picked up her quill in her magic, and crossed out the ‘Dear’ on the paper. She then wrote a letter surmising everything that had happened. It was a factual recount, not a heart-felt retelling of a lesson learned.
When she was finished, she rolled the paper up into a scroll, tied it with a piece of ribbon, and took it over to where Spike was playing with Peewee. The phoenix had matured considerably over the time Spike had found him: he had shed his fluffy chick-feathers, and had grown to be almost as tall as the baby dragon himself. His personality was still one of a playful child, however, and he loved it when spike tossed morsels of food up into the air for him to dash around a catch.
Twilight trotted over as quietly as she could, and pulled Spike into a surprise hug, causing him to yelp. Before he could recover, Twilight ruffled his spines, and nuzzled him affectionately.
“Thank you Spike, I don’t know what I would do without you.” The compliment made Spike blush, and he took the finished report from Twilight’s aura.
“You wouldn’t last a day without me Twilight” he boasted, before breathing mail-fire on the scroll, sending it off to the Princess. Twilight gave him a playful nudge for his boasting, and moved over to lie down in front of the fire. The sun had since gone down, and the cold of night was setting in. She sighed again.
“What are we going to do about Fluttershy Spike?” Spike glanced away from Peewee, and gave Twilight a puzzled look.
“What do you mean? I thought you snapped Fluttershy out of it, like, two hours ago. What else is there to do?” Twilight shook her head, torn between annoyance at Spike’s naïveté and joy at the opportunity to give a lecture.
“We snapped her out of it for now, but we need to keep her out of it. We need to keep her distracted, keep her busy, so that she doesn’t have any time to worry about Rainbow Dash.” Spike shook his head at Twilight’s naïveté. He was just a baby dragon, and even he knew that nothing was going to keep Fluttershy’s mind off Rainbow Dash for long. He didn’t bother voicing this opinion however, as he knew that nothing would deter Twilight now. Twilight seemed oblivious to Spike’s apprehension, and was already laying out plans.
“The festival is a good place to start. There’s plenty of distracting stuff happening there, and it goes on all week, so we could just get Fluttershy so involved that she doesn’t have time to think about Dash. But then she might get bored or tired, so we need a contingency plan. Spike, what do you…?” She trailed off when she turned around to find Spike curled into a ball, fast asleep.
Chuckling, she levitated him over to his bed, and tucked him in. Once he was snoring peacefully again, she turned to her desk, and pulled out a large scroll of blank paper from one of the shelves.
She had a lot of planning to do.
~~~~~~~~~~
Fluttershy walked slowly through town, taking in the sights of the Hearth’s Warming festival this time around. Ponyville may be a small town, but its residents sure knew how to celebrate.
Every house-front in Ponyville had Hearth’s Warming decorations livening up their already-vibrant features. Huge pine trees decorated with baubles, tinsel, and other various festive titbits were in every front yard, and purple Hearth’s Warming hearts could be seen in every window. Fences were ornamented with cut-outs of everything from present boxes to stockings to ponies dressed in ridiculous green outfits with pointy hats. Countless snow ponies dotted the sides of the streets, and hundreds of candles adorned every remaining available surface. Fluttershy caught a glimpse of the library from down one of the main streets, and she couldn’t help but stop and stare at it.
Twilight, having recovered from her hit to the horn, had apparently been making up for her week without magic. The entire library was covered from root to leaf in streamers, tinsel, and strings of baubles, all of which appeared to be magically enchanted to light up, and flash different colours in different patterns. She saw images of ponies, of presents, of Hearth’s Warming trees, and of so many other things, Fluttershy couldn’t care to name them all. The lights only kept Fluttershy’s attention for a few moments, however.
Hovering above the library was an actual burning replica of the symbolic Hearth’s Warming heart. It blazed away in the sky, sending soft, soul-warming purple light down on the town. It represented the fire of friendship that had melted the ice and the hearts of the ponies on the very first Hearth’s Warming, and Fluttershy had no doubt that everypony in town would gather around the library on Hearth’s Warming Eve to sing carols around the burning heart.
Fluttershy usually avoided the festival as much as she possibly could, due to the high concentration of ponies all clustering around the town. The carols were usually something she attended from afar, standing on a hilltop outside Ponyville with her woodland critters. Looking back on all of those Hearth’s Warming spent secluded from everypony, she began to realise just how truly lonely she was.
This year would be different. This year, she would be involved in Hearth’s Warming. Even if Rainbow Dash didn’t come back in time, she was determined that she wouldn’t spend it alone. She would get out around town, join in the celebrations of the holiday, and be right in the midst of all the ponies singing carols on Hearth’s Warming Eve. Yes: this year would be different.
As Fluttershy continued through town, the cluster of stalls on the streets grew thicker and thicker. These shops would soon fill with ponies and their Hearth’s Warming wares, ready to sell to residents who still had to finish their Hearth’s Warming present shopping, or to eager tourists who wanted a slice of a Ponyville Hearth’s Warming to bring home with them.
A fresh layer of snow covered everything, and few ponies were out this early in the morning to clear it off in order for the day’s festivities to start. Within an hour, Fluttershy suspected that every pony in Ponyville would be out and about, shopping, singing, dancing, ice skating, or another of the scores of festive activities that were hosted during the week leading up to Hearth’s Warming.
Fluttershy had gotten little sleep the night before. True, her friends had snapped her out of her numbing depression not twelve hours previously, but that didn’t stop her worries and fears of Rainbow Dash attempting to overwhelm her.
She had been up since before first light, and her tension had grown to the point that she felt she was about to burst, so she had taken off towards town. The flight had cleared her head somewhat, and helped her to get a better grasp on reality. The bright, cheery sights of the festival, even coated in snow as they were, also helped put her in a slightly lighter mood.
After the night before, she had no doubt that her friends would do everything they could to try and cheer her up. She even suspected Twilight was planning on getting her out of bed every day up until the New Year if she had to. This made her smile. She was incredibly lucky to have such brilliant, caring friends, and was so grateful, she didn’t know what she could possibly do to repay them. A thought struck her, and she gasped.
Hearth’s Warming presents! She hadn’t even thought of getting her friends something in all the commotion over Dash. Now she owed her friends more than she ever had before, so she needed to make their presents as special and individual as she could. Each present had to convey just how grateful she was for their friendship.
It was still too early for any of the shops to be open, which was fine: she would need time in order to think of a gift she was going to get everypony. She wasn’t sure she would be able to get presents that special in any of the trinket shops around town. These presents had to be perfect.
~~~~~~~~~~
That’s it, I’m done. Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief as she placed the last gift down on the table in her cottage. It had taken her almost the entire week to get everything ready, but it had been worth it. She had managed just in time too: it was the morning of Hearth’s Warming eve, and she would be giving the presents out the next day.
She had had to get all her friend’s presents without their knowledge, which had been difficult. They had more or less tailed her around all day every day, not pestering her, or telling her what to do. They had just been there.
Their presence had been a huge comfort to Fluttershy, but it had made it exceptionally difficult to get all their presents ready, and keep them oblivious. She had managed, however, and she was completely happy with how each present had turned out.
Not a single one of them was from a shop in town. All of the stores only sold souvenirs or cheap trinkets, which were great gifts for acquaintances or children, but had little more than Hearth’s Warming sentiment to give them value. It had not been enough.
She had tailored each gift to convey exactly how grateful she was to each of her friends for their support. Each one carried elements that reflected the ponies they were for, as well as elements of herself and her friendship with them.
A knock sounded from the door, and she quickly but carefully inserted the final gift into the drawer that contained the other three presents. Cantering over, she opened the door to reveal Twilight. The unicorn had spent most of her time with Fluttershy, keeping her company and being a good friend.
“Hi Fluttershy!” Twilight greeted enthusiastically. She had kept her demeanour as bright and happy as possible – all of her friends had – in an attempt to lighten Fluttershy’s spirits. Fluttershy had to admit that it was working as she smiled back and stepped aside, allowing Twilight to enter.
Twilight, as usual, had a large itinerary planned for the day. Fluttershy had never followed one through from start to finish yet, usually excusing herself from the festivities for hours at a time, in order to work on the gifts. Today though, now that she had finished off the last present, she was more than happy to go through with Twilight’s plan.
She paid little attention when Twilight explained the schedule as they wandered slowly along the path towards Ponyville. It was long and complex, as they all were, and contained activities situated all across town. Each event had a precise schedule and timeline, but for once, Twilight didn’t seem at all worried if the time schedule wasn’t kept. It showed the lengths to which her friends were going to cheer her up, and it was touching.
They started the day with ice skating in the ring that had been set up in the town square. It was a huge area of ice that left only a small walk space around the circumference of the square, and there were currently dozens of ponies skating about. Fluttershy had never been good at ice skating – neither had Twilight, for that matter – but Pinkie had been giving them lessons, and they managed to wobble about without falling over too often.
Fluttershy couldn’t help but laugh as she and Twilight struggled to keep their balance, often leaning on each other for support, which usually sent them both tumbling to the ice. Eventually they turned in their skates, and limped away from the ring, nursing several new bruises.
At this point, Twilight had some business to attend to with the mayor, so Rarity came and took over from the librarian to keep Fluttershy company. Fluttershy and her new companion then spent an hour or two at the sauna, accompanied by a full hooficure and facial treatment. Fluttershy had been missing her spa sessions with Rarity, and left the salon feeling relaxed and rejuvenated.
She then met up with Applejack, at which point Rarity left to tend to her shop, and Applejack took Fluttershy around all the more carnival attractions of the festival. They threw horseshoes at poles – Applejack had somehow very comically managed to stick her tongue to hers – they shot rubber darts at cut-outs of present-stealing gremlins, and they threw rubber turkeys at targets shaped like the various prizes that could be won. Fluttershy left with a pointed hat, a heart-shaped cookie, and a snow globe containing a miniature Canterlot.
Applejack then handed Fluttershy over to Pinkie Pie, who took her back to Sugarcube Corner for lunch. The meal consisted of a selection of sandwiches, salads, and various hot drinks. Fluttershy chose a traditional daisy sandwich with a small garden salad, and a hot chocolate. There were no muffins in sight.
Over the past week, Pinkie Pie had been trying the hardest to make Fluttershy feel better. The usually bouncy pony seemed to have taken responsibility for events concerning Rainbow Dash turning out the way they did, and she was determined to make it up.
Fluttershy didn’t blame Pinkie in the slightest, but whenever she went to bring it up, she was always interrupted by Pinkie offering her something, or wanting to take her somewhere. Fluttershy just didn't know how to make Pinkie see that it wasn’t necessary.
After lunch, all of Fluttershy’s friends came together, and they went out to the fields surrounding Ponyville and made snow angels and snow ponies and had a massive snowball fight. Even Rarity participated in the snowball throwing competition.
They split into two teams – Twilight and Rarity, being unicorns, were on a team of two, with the other three on the second team – and each team built a snow fort. They then took turns trying to raid the other team’s fort with lobbed snowballs and rushing advances. Eventually Twilight and Rarity broke down the walls of Fluttershy’s team’s fort thanks to their ability to throw ten snowballs at once with their magic, and they all fell to the snow-covered ground laughing.
It had been the most fun Fluttershy had had in such a long time, but throughout the day, she had always felt a deep undertone of sadness that said something was missing.
Rainbow Dash.
Despite all the fun she had been having with her friends during the week, once she had retired to her cottage, she had cried herself to sleep every night. Angel would stroke her mane, and her birds would sing a soft lullaby, and eventually her wracking sobs would subside into the deep breathing of troubled sleep.
Each and every night, she dreamed the same dream: of flying through the clouds, laughing and playing with Rainbow Dash. They would circle each other blissfully, and perform stunts and manoeuvres that Fluttershy never would have dreamed of attempting in real life. The dreams always ended the same way: just when Fluttershy was happiest, and having the most fun, Rainbow Dash would start to fly away.
Fluttershy would call out, but Dash never heard. She just kept flying until she was out of sight in the distance. Fluttershy would then wake up, tears streaming down her face, and she would cry, either until morning, when she would dry her tears, get up and get ready for the day, or until she fell back asleep and the dream would repeat itself.
Fluttershy forced her mind away from the depressing thoughts, and turned her attention back to her friends, who were all lying in the snow around her. The sun was getting close to sinking below the horizon, which meant that, being Hearth’s Warming Eve, it was time to gather around the library, and sing the carols together.
Her friends were surprised when she said she would be coming with them – she had stayed away from every carol-singing gathering on every Hearth’s Warming Eve in the past – but they quickly hid their shock, and accompanied her to the library.
As she walked, Fluttershy marvelled over how not once during the entire week she had spent at the festival with her friends, did she feel the need to hide, or shy away behind her hair like she usually did in large groups of ponies.
Being in the crowds just hadn’t seemed like such a big deal anymore, after what had happened with Rainbow Dash. She grinned a tiny, wry smile, wondering if something good would come from this ordeal after all.
~~~~~~~~~~
Hearth’s Warming carols, particularly those in Ponyville, are songs that are intended to give ponies a sense of companionship throughout the winter months, and give a feel of warmth and compassion to all those who sing them.
To Fluttershy, they sounded as dry and lifeless as she felt as she attempted to put some emotion into her monotonal voice as she sang along with the rest of the town. It was now that she was most feeling the keen edge of Rainbow Dash’s abandonment, and the carols, which told of friends spending time together in the cold winter days, and of couples spending nights in front of warm fireplaces, only served to make Fluttershy feel hollow.
She lowered her voice to little more than a whisper, so she wouldn’t sound out of key when she couldn’t seem to change the pitch of her voice from its dull, expressionless tone. Her friends, who were all gathered around her, sang as loud as they could manage, and Fluttershy settled for embracing the warmth of the friendship that permeated their singing voices.
She listened as they sang the most traditional of Hearth’s Warming carols, and tried to feel the warmth and love that the lyrics told of, but all she felt was ice in her heart.
The fire of friendship lives in our hearts
As long as it burns we shall not drift apart
Fluttershy barely managed to supress a scoff at these words. Rainbow Dash had left, and Fluttershy had thought that the fire of friendship was plenty strong in her heart. A small voice reminded her that Dash would come back eventually, but she ignored it, bitterness rising in her heart.
We are a circle of pony friends
A circle of friends we’ll be till the very end
She forcibly reminded herself again that Dash would be returning, and resolved to ignore the rest of the carols that were being sung around her. They were only serving to remind her that Rainbow had flown away and left her.
Idly, she wondered how she would react when Dash finally returned. Would she be angry? She had every right to be. Dash had run away without so much as a word of assurance, and had left Fluttershy wondering what she had done wrong. The brash mare had even known about Fluttershy’s feelings for days before that confrontation!
On the other hoof, she was running away from things that scared her all the time. She had assumed that, because Rainbow Dash was confident and outgoing, that she would be able to easily deal with the fact that one of her best friends had feelings for her. Twilight had made her realise that it was quite the opposite: Dash was too busy being brash and foolhardy that she probably never put any thought into the subject.
It was a tricky situation, and Fluttershy had no idea how she would respond to Rainbow Dash’s return. She resolved to deal with the situation as it came, which was not something she liked doing, but saw no other alternative. She just couldn’t work it out. She just didn’t know.
The hearty singing and dancing that was taking place around her was beginning to wear on Fluttershy’s mind, and she quietly excused herself and threaded her way out of the crowd. Once she was clear of the mass of ponies surrounding the library, she took to the sky, and slowly winged her way home.
It seemed a very short trip, though judging from the position of the moon, it was more than an hour before she finally shook the snow off her hooves and stepped inside. She had flown with no great speed, reluctant to both be around other ponies, and to be cooped up inside her cottage again, but she resigned herself to another night of crying herself into a nightmare-filled sleep.
She poured herself a glass of water – she didn’t think she would be able to stomach a cup of hot chocolate at that moment – and checked on her animal friends. Angel was fast asleep in his padded bed, and her birds were all sleeping peacefully in their huts and nests. A loud snoring from outside indicated the sound sleep of a bear that was staying with her whilst he recovered from an injured paw.
It was a momentary distraction, but it helped to soothe her. She had been tending to animals ever since she had dropped out of flight school and came to live on the ground. It was her special talent, and was what made her the Element of Kindness.
Over the last week, she didn’t feel as though she had been living up to her Element. She had spent so much time brooding over Rainbow Dash, that she had been neglecting the animals she had taken under her wing. They were more than capable of taking care of themselves now – Angel knew which animals ate what – but it still shamed her to admit that she hadn’t even given them so much as a second thought during this entire ordeal.
She sighed, and stoked the fire, bringing blazing warmth back to the hearth. The light made some of her birds stir, and she was soon surrounded by all of her creatures, who had sung her to sleep every night. She didn’t bother going to bed: she just curled up in front of the fireplace, completely alone despite the company her woodland friends gave her. The tears began to flow freely from her eyes.
She felt the crushing weight of her sadness descend upon her, and she cried into her forelegs as Angel stroked her mane, and the birds softly sang a soothing lullaby. She stayed that way for a time: it could have been ten minutes, ten hours, or ten years, it wouldn’t have mattered. She just began to feel the cold embrace of nightmare-filled sleep grip her, when there was a sound at the door.
It sounded like a knock, but was timid enough to have come from her own hoof.
She dried her tears, and slowly struggled to her hooves, before creeping slowly up to the door.
The knock came again, louder this time. Three distinct taps which gave her a strange feeling in her chest. She couldn’t describe the sensation, but she somehow knew that something huge was about to happen.
She opened the door, and her mind began to struggle to process exactly what she saw.
“Hi, Fluttershy…”
On her doorstep, a shamed and embarrassed expression on her face was Rainbow Dash.
~~~~~~~~~~
Dash stood on the doorstep, looking extremely awkward as she rubbed the back of her head with a hoof, and her tail wrapped tightly around one of her back legs. When she spoke, Rainbow’s voice was cracked and halting, and carried a sorrow that belied everything the speed-addict pegasus had ever personified.
“Hey, Fluttershy. I know you must be mad at me… I mean, you have every reason to be, but I want you to…” Dash never got to finish, as Fluttershy threw herself at her with a shriek, sending both mares flying off the doorstep and into the snow that had gathered on the ground beyond.
“Whoa Fluttershy! I know you must be angry, but you don’t have to attack…” She paused as she realised that Fluttershy wasn’t trying to hurt her. The canary mare was heaving with wracking sobs, tears streaming down her cheeks as she gripped Dash in a crushing hug.
“Oh Dash, you came back!” Dash smiled sadly, and hugged the sobbing mare back.
“I couldn’t stay away. I’m the Element of Loyalty, remember?” Fluttershy’s crying only came harder, and she pounded lightly on her returned friend’s chest.
“You shouldn’t have left! But you came back, and that’s all that matters.” With a last squeeze, Dash pried herself out of Fluttershy’s grasp.
“How about we go inside?” Dash suggested. “It’s cold out, and it IS Hearth’s Warming.” Fluttershy didn’t want to let go. She had just gotten her friend back, and she couldn’t risk losing her again, but finally she relented, releasing Dash and accepting her helping hoof to get up off the snow-covered ground. They headed inside.
Fluttershy immediately headed for the kitchen to make some hot chocolate, but Dash stayed just inside the door, looking at the floor with an awkward and sorrowful expression. Fluttershy returned to her once she had set the brew to heating. Dash lifted her head for a glance at the approaching mare, but quickly dropped her gaze back to the ground.
“Fluttershy… I’m… What I wanted to say is… I’m sorr…” Fluttershy cut her off by pressing a hoof against her muzzle. She looked at her lost love with the kindest, most understanding expression she could manage, and tears came to Dash’s eyes.
“It’s okay Dash. You needed time to sort all of this out, I understand that. It took me months to come to terms with my feelings for you, I’ve just kept them bottled up for so long…” Dash opened her mouth to speak, but after a moment, closed it again. Fluttershy felt like crying again and gripping Dash in a tight embrace, but she resisted.
“I don’t expect an answer Dash… I’m just glad you’re back.” Dash grimaced, and her tail tightened around her hind leg. She seemed to struggle with herself for a moment before sighing.
“I have an answer for you Fluttershy, I’ve just never had to do something like this before. I’m… I’m nervous, is all.” Fluttershy’s heart skipped a beat as her mind processed the possible ramifications of this revelation. Dash had an answer for her? It would change her life, no matter what it was. She hoped for the best, but prepared herself for the worst.
“I-I-I-I…” Dash stuttered. She seemed to fight some internal struggle for several moments, before hanging her head with a shameful expression on her face. Fluttershy closed her eyes, as much to shut out the world as to try and prevent the tears that wanted to flow freely once more. Dash’s expression could only mean one thing. It meant that she didn’t want…
Her thoughts were interrupted by a warmth pressing against her lips. Her eyes flew open to see Dash’s face, right up close, kissing her in a slightly awkward pose, neck stretched out, hooves grounded solidly.
Oh my...
Fluttershy’s mind took a few moments to process what was happening, before she moved into the kiss, wrapping her hooves around Rainbow’s neck and kissing the mare back. Rainbow’s eyes bolted open in surprise, but soon relaxed into a content expression.
The kiss was simple, if improbably long, but sent lightning bolts through Fluttershy’s senses, and shivers down her spine. Her knees wobbled slightly, and eventually she had to break off for need of air. She gasped, and heard Rainbow do the same.
She discovered that she had closed her eyes again, and when she opened them, she saw Rainbow looking back with a warm smile. Fluttershy contentedly gazed into her eyes for several moments before speaking.
“So, does this mean…” She found herself unable to finish the question, and Dash’s smile grew slightly wider.
“It took me a little while, but while I was away, I realised that I really do like you Fluttershy. We’ve been through so much together, and…” Fluttershy’s breath was caught in her throat, and her heart pounded, her pulse throbbing in her ears. Dash continued.
“I wasn’t sure at first, if getting together with you was such a good idea. I mean, what if it didn’t work out? What would that mean for the Elements of Harmony? What would that mean for us as friends?” Fluttershy’s sensible side was screaming out for breath, but her heart would not let her lungs inhale.
“But then I remembered Rarity and Applejack. They got together despite the possible consequences, and I…” She seemed to run out of things to say, and Fluttershy sneaked a quick breath to stop her face turning blue. Rainbow looked straight into her eyes, which made her knees weak again.
“I want to be with you Fluttershy.” Fluttershy’s heart felt as if it had leapt out of her chest. “I’m willing to give it a try.” The tears broke, and streamed down Fluttershy’s face as she threw herself at Rainbow Dash, and they toppled to the floor in front of the fireplace. She pressed her lips against Dash’s, but quickly pulled back at an unexpected and uncharacteristic squeak.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry Rainbow Dash, I didn’t mean to… I mean I wasn’t… I don’t…” Dash pressed a hoof against her muzzle and smiled, before leaning in and returning Fluttershy’s kiss.
This kiss was more passionate, and Fluttershy felt her face heat up as pleasurable electricity bolted down her spine. She pressed herself against Dash’s chest, and felt the warm embrace of wings being wrapped around her. All her senses screamed out, not in pain, but in pleasure as she pushed deeper into the kiss.
Again, she had to break off for air, and they lay panting in front of the fireplace, Fluttershy pushing herself against Dash, who had wrapped her in the tender embrace of her wings. They stared at each other, smiling, watching the reflections of the flickering flames in each other’s eyes. It was a moment that Fluttershy had desperately hoped for, but had expected would never happen. She was glad she had been wrong.
“Thank you” Fluttershy murmured, and Dash tenderly nuzzled her neck. “Thank you for coming back.” Dash gave her a quick peck on the cheek before replying.
“Hey, Element of Loyalty, remember? How could I abandon you?” Fluttershy sighed contentedly, and nestled deeper into Dash’s embrace, the proximity of the other mare warming her chest, the heat of the fireplace warming her back.
Dash began to stroke her mane, and she drifted off into a sleep deeper than any she had slept in over two weeks, her mind filled with only one line of thoughts.
Rainbow Dash had returned, and wanted to be with her.
The moment was perfect.
~~~~~~~~~~
Fluttershy was speeding through the sky. Her speed didn’t bother her. Why should it? She was a pegasus after all. Nearby, Rainbow Dash flew in synchronisation with her. They soared in between the clouds, spinning around. Peals of laughter escaped her mouth, and she heard similar sounds of exhilaration coming from Dash.
They sped through the skies over Ponyville, mirroring each other’s moves as they twisted around the clouds and each other, spinning around and around in increasingly complex patterns, coming close until they were almost touching, before dashing away until they were twenty paces or more apart.
It was an exhilarating dance of rhythmically fast wing beats and break-neck precision flying, and Fluttershy couldn’t help but toss her head back, mane flying out behind her, and laugh as loudly and heartily as she could. It was the most terrifyingly thrilling experience she had ever had, and she was having more fun than she could ever remember having before.
A memory attempted to surface, but she ignored it, and it sank back down into the depths of her subconscious. It was a troubling memory, and she had no room for unhappiness in her blissful euphoria.
She turned to Dash, who gazed back with a loving expression on her face. It made Fluttershy’s heart leap, and jump about in her chest as her knees wobbled as they hung below her. She moved to fly up to Dash, but the cyan pegasus turned and began to fly away.
The troubling memory jolted straight into her consciousness, and she remembered Dash flying away, time and time again, every time moving off into the distance until she was a tiny speck on the horizon, before fading away into the distance completely.
Fluttershy raced after her, calling her name.
“Rainbow Dash! No Rainbow Dash, don’t leave me! Don’t leave me again!” Dash continued to fly away, and tears began streaking down Fluttershy’s face as her wings began to slow, and her breath grew ragged. She refused to give up, and she kept flying, not willing to let go of the mare she loved again.
Her wings faltered, exhausted beyond tired, and she struggled for breath as she began to lose altitude. She gave a few more pathetic beats of her wings, and her lungs were right on the brink of seizing up completely. She was going to fall.
Suddenly, a cyan-coloured hoof appeared in her vision.
Looking up, she saw Rainbow Dash, loving smile still decorating her face as she offered her hoof to help. Fluttershy took it gratefully, and the moment they touched, her lungs freed up, her wings regained their energy, and she felt strong and invigorated. She threw herself at Dash, who accepted her with welcoming hooves, and the two spun around in a tight embrace, their united wing strength lifting their combined weight as they hugged.
Fluttershy stretched her neck up, all traces of nervousness and shyness gone, and kissed Rainbow as passionately as she could while they hovered in the air. They descended onto a large cloud, and lay together, curled up in each other’s embrace.
Part of Fluttershy knew she was dreaming. But the larger part reminded her that she was curled up with Dash in the waking world anyway, so it didn’t matter.
She had Rainbow Dash back. Nothing else mattered.
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Wow.. that was really powerful..
Take all my feels. You earned them
Where to begin?
Fluttershy's actions at the begining of the chapter scared me, it was ereily realistic. Once her friends snapped her out of it, all she saw in the warmth of Hearths Warming was the ice of loneliness, much like I felt before meeting my girlfriend. Once Dash came back, she fully healed and forgave Dash, causing my feels to overload.
Overall: one of the best stories I have read.
I look forward to chapter 4 with the same giddy excitment as a schoolfoal.
one things for sure you really understand depression, expectantly the constant need of distractions (known from unfortunate experiences)
Very powerful chapter. It felt so real... you brought tears to my eyes with all the pain Fluttershy was going thorugh.
When they had that final day, I knew Dash would come back to her then, I was expecting her to burst in, RD style when Fluttershy was singing with her friends. But how you did it was so much better and cuter
now comes the fun part, cause thier friends dont know.
3515909 Yeah, I honestly thought of having her make her grand appearance like that, but it wasn't really with the theme I was going for with this story. I wanted to explore the hidden sides of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy that existed in my mind (and now this story), and I'm happy with the result. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Wow. That was powerful. I adore how you have written Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. They are perfect. You honestly could have ended the story here, but I am looking forward to chapters 4 and 5.
(Mmmmm tomorrow.
)
Squeeeeeee~
angel is male
4626631 Huh, would you look at that. You're the first person to even see that typo, myself included. It must have just slipped past the editing stage. Thanks for the heads up!
Am I the only one who thinks it would be funny if Angel was kicked across the room? (Into some sort of cusion, mind you.)
~Wywint