• Member Since 4th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 4th, 2015

PrincessDashie


T

Twilight Sparkle dreamed of having wings for the majority of her life, however immortality was not part of that dream. A decade of research led Twilight to the development of a new spell that would allow her to change her destiny at a price: her life would cease as it were. A re-imagining of Friendship is Magic.

On hiatus as I am writing a novel to be published.

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 82 )
Comment posted by Valvatorez deleted Oct 20th, 2013

Well, let's see how this goes (does this mean that Dashie will be a unicorn in this alt universe?)

Comment posted by MythrilMoth deleted Oct 20th, 2013

3372523 This is a bit long, I ranted a bit. :twilightsheepish:

Upon casting this spell, I will cease to exist in this time-line. I will not die, rather, I will change my destiny at an earlier point in my life, where that point is, I don't know.

Surely that then means that she would become a pegasus, therefore not having an obsession with pegasi, and not finding love with the one pegasus who love reading also? Henceforth more likely to have an obsession with unicorns, due to not being that race any more (or ever, in this new time-line). Pouring her life into changing once more. Yes she will still have the chance to change into an Alicorn, as it was a friendship thing rather than a purely magical experience, but still. Changing who you are completely changes your life goals too. In reality, if she goes back far enough, she won't even get into 'Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns' as she is no longer part of that race. She won't be sent off to Ponyville, and meeting up with the one she loves will never come to be. It could happen if pegasus Twilight admires Rainbow for her speed and prowess as a pegasus rather than her shared interest in reading and being the best at what she does. This whole thing is very dependent on what you choose as the focal points in the relationship between Twilight and Dash. Also as 3371652 said, if Dash is the unicorn, this could be very interesting. But if Dash is the unicorn, Twilight would either be the one who does the Sonic Rainboom and causes Dash to get into Celestia's School alongside bringing her future friends together. Or, Dash is prolific enough in her magical ability that she does it by herself and Twilight's efforts as a pegasus don't even do anything for the grand scheme of things. This then causing the bringing together of the Elements to fail. You can't really go back far enough in the time-line to warrant them having different parents, so their individual life goals and personality traits will be very alike their other race counterparts. Dash being rather lazy and Twilight pouring herself into study/flight (as a pegasus now). But Twilight and Dash will live in their normal towns/cities, Canterlot and Cloudsdale respectively, meaning the chance of Celestia finding Dash as a wielder of the Element of Magic is rather slim. Dash would still be loyal to who she cares about, whereas Twilight, while embodying many positive traits, cannot be the Element of Magic as she is a pegasus now.

There have been a few fics that have done this concept: What if Twilight was a pegasus? What happens to the Elements Of Harmony then?

Some other fics felt like the Elements were tacked onto Twilight like it was her destiny no matter what race she is. But this notion makes little sense, as the whole reason behind Twi throwing herself into her friends is that she has never had any before. She won't be pouring herself into books to practice more and more advanced spells, she will however (if she has the same desire for knowledge as the unicorn variant) be practising, a lot, maybe enough to not have friends? Not likely, she will be outside rather than inside, easier to meet people when you aren't sitting around in your room studying 24/7. As a unicorn, Twilight has Celestia's Protégée stamped on her very being, making social interaction very awkward for both Twilight and the other party. The other party doesn't want to invoke the wrath of Celestia by being mean or insensitive, but Twilight just wants to have a normal conversation without all the pretentious crap that gets tacked on to royalty.

So all in all I will track this, see where it goes and will decide later whether or not it will get my approval, it's way too early for any opinion to form and be a good representative of the story. :twilightsmile:

3373221 :twilightoops: You sound like me when it's midnight and I've been stuffing myself with caffeine and sugar. Nevertheless, all that you've said are valid points, which is why altering events in the past is so intriguing, I could stay here and debate this stuff all day, but I have three books to read in as many days, and essays to write, so alas I cannot debate at length the nuisances of time. But I agree with all that you've stated.

3371870

Technically, that doesn't state that she is not immortal. All it states is that she won't outlive her friends. In other words, they could be planning on turning all of them into alacorns.

Okay, so I'm like super interested in this story! The chapters are kind of short, and that prologue was really abrupt, but it seems like a good premise.

The only thing I want to know is, why didn't Rainbow wish to pursue a relationship with Twi? I mean, all the prologue mentions is that Twilight and her had lunch, Rainbow discovered her feelings, and that's it.

Actually, that's another good point. In the prologue Twilight mentions that she fell in love with Rainbow Dash after Rainbow discovered her own love of reading. Is that really it? I mean, I can't really see Twilight falling in love simply because another pony shares a hobby. It's a way to start dating, not a basis for a relationship.

I guess I feel like, given what little we know, that suddenly wishing to rewrite history seems like a bit excessive. I mean, Rainbow's not dead yet, so the mortality thing isn't even an issue right now. Did Dash not want anything to do with Twilight romantically because she couldn't fly, or wasn't a pegasus? Is that what this is about?

I'm just having a hard time following the logic of Twilight's decision. It seems like it follows as such:
1. Twilight has always admired pegasi for their ability to fly/wishes she could fly
2. Rainbow Dash likes to read, apparently that makes Twilight fall in love with her instantly
3. Twilight has lunch with Rainbow, Rainbow discovers Twilight's feelings, and then nothing happens for unexplained reasons.
4. Twilight becomes an alicorn, gains the ability to fly at the cost of having immortality
5. Twilight decides ten or so years later that immortality is too high of a price (although nothing has happened to drive that decision), and instead decides to go to an alternate universe

Advice for the future: Watch the pacing. It seems weird for me of all people to give that advice, but it will certainly help this story. Give us more details. Like in the second chapter, it would have been nice to see what Twilight was like as a pegasus filly. Did she still love to read? Did she spend her time wishing she could do magic? Does Twilight remember her previous life?

Anyways, I'll be watching this. Hope it turns out to be a fun read!

Dawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. My heart is gonna melt if this keeps on beeing so adorable.
You Madam (I would guess?) have done really good so far and i especially like the idea behind this story.

3392554

I would prefer miss, but you got my gender right regardless :) Im glad you're enjoying the story

While the prologue was a sad, philosophical overview of the life of Twilight as a unicorn, this chapter shows a gentle flow of her new life as a pegasus, you've done very well so far, and I shall wait patiently for more.

On a side note, the story Shining Armor told Twilight was almost frighteningly like a happy version of Twilight's old life. A unicorn wanted wings to fly with a pegasus, and she got her wish, the story only ended before the sadness and pain in her life.

3407643
thanks :twilightsmile:

i wanted to make the "story" longer, but when read as you would read it to a child, the length is about as long as a normal story for a 3 year old. I should have another chapter ready hopefully tonight. i'm about 1/2 done with it. Thanks for reading :twilightblush:

Missing a TON of periods.
No offense. :twilightsheepish:
Stories where the dialogue is missing a million periods get me annoyed.

I didn't notice the periods, but you do need to format it some. As it is right now, we are reading walls of text. Just putting the dialog in seperate chapters would go a long way in breaking it up into more cohearint sizes I think.

As for the actual story, I find it very charming (though predictable based on this chapter) and eagerly look forward to how you plan to progress with it.

3410020

thanks for the feedback, and I knew someone wouldkd comment on my formatting. however I wrote this way on purpose. while I understand that most are used to reading in a traditional fanfiction format, I chose to write this in a traditional novel format.

Interesting... I really want to know what you're going to do with the element of magic... :scootangel:

I'm loving this story! :) Can't wait for more

i'd ask if she's meeting sombra but that's impossibru :rainbowlaugh::derpytongue2:


Awesome chapter! i wonder what'll happen in cloudsdale :twilightsmile: I EXPECT HER TO MEET EITHER FLUTTERS OR RAINBOW :pinkiehappy:

I want to ask is it rainbow a unicorn or she til a Pegasus :twilightsheepish:

I thought you maybe rainbow a unicorn and sonic rainbowboom one :twilightblush:

Well this story is both intriguing and d'aaw inducing.:twilightsmile:

And I found a typo thingy:
Twilight and Velvet shared a giggle when the butterfly landed on Twilight's nose, causing her to sneeze and land backwards on her behind.

3707923 :) thanks, i didn't even catch that XD

That was so sweet. Maybe next chapter they can meet rainbow dash. That would be EPIC. Great chapter. Great story. Keep it up.

3741308

:) it won't be for awhile, as this is before even fluttershy knows dash. they will all meet eventually though.

This story is pretty good especially considering I've found it randomly 4 or 5 times one thing though you said fluttershy opened her emerald eyes and I may be mistaken but doesn't she have blue eyes?

3741308 I think Twilight has taken Rainbow's place and Rainbow has taken Twilight's so I don't think that they'll meet until much later.
Sparky, you know the laws of Continuity as well as I do, so that is impossible.

Keep up the excellent work, within your own limits of course.

I mean by that to take your time.

I'm finding the basis of this story a refreshingly original one. Please, keep it up! I'm loving what I see here.

I love the way this story flows. Simple well thought out and not rushed at all. It has got buckets of potential and I can't wait to see where this is headed over all. If I could thumbs up this again I would do it in a heart beat. Rock on and keep writing if I have to wait hours, days, months or even years I will do it gladly. Just keep doin what your doin!

This story as caught my attention for sure, I really like how it done and what I read so far. Keep up the good work my friend and I'd look forward to reading the next coming chapters :pinkiehappy:

this is so cute i gonna explote :pinkiehappy:

Seems more TwiShy than TwiDash..... i vote for TwiShy until i can compare this meeting with Twilight meeting Dashie! :rainbowderp: :yay: :twilightblush:

You get 9 hearts out of ten for cuteness, one off for making Flutters cry not only once but like three times... or was it two? :rainbowhuh:

:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

3745300

it does seem like twishy at the moment, but I assure you this story is twidash

3745386

than i'll just await the next chapter without an excuse like twishy vs twidash :derpytongue2:

3745759

it will be twishy in terms of friendship, but twidash when it comes to romance

Nice chapter. I really like how Twilight basically fills Rainbows role as 'Flutters' friend for now. And I also liked how Cadance was all: I know what happened, and if u know whats good for u, it better doesn't happe again! Keep it up.

Look Wildfire, no offense, but generally its not a great idea to go "You're bluffing!" to someone who will potentially live long enough to ruin the lives of not only you and your daughter, but also your great great great great great great great grandchildren as well, were she to become so inclined. And furthermore, someone who is essentially immune to the law via being a sovereign absolute monarch.

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