2 - A Time of Crisis
Twilight groaned in her sleep, as mid-afternoon sunlight filtered in through the window, causing Fluttershy to bolt upright with a start.
Moving to the injured unicorn’s bed, Fluttershy watched worriedly as her patient tossed and turned in her sleep. She had been almost comatose for two days, and Fluttershy had barely left the library the entire time.
Twilight stilled, and with agonizing slowness, opened her eyes.
“Ugh, what… what happened? What’s going on? Why do I feel so weak? And why does my stomach feel like it’s eating itself?” Fluttershy took a concerned intake of breath, which attracted Twilight’s attention. “Fluttershy?” the pegasus in question nodded nervously.
“Um, yes, good morning Twilight, how are you feeling?” Twilight shot her a puzzled look for a moment, and then grimaced.
“Honestly, I feel as if I’ve been thrown to the floor, beaten over the head, and left without food for a few days. What happened?” Fluttershy returned the grimace, and motioned to a glass of water and a plate of food sitting on the bedside table. The meal was simple: half a loaf of bread, some apples, carrots and a cupcake or two, but Twilight grabbed the plate in her hooves, and devoured its contents hungrily.
Having polished off the last of the cupcakes, Twilight flopped back down onto the bed with a satisfied sigh.
“That was the best meal I have ever had. Thanks Fluttershy.” Fluttershy whimpered quietly, just loud enough for her friend to hear, and the bedridden unicorn shot her another curious glance, but said nothing. Laying her head down on the bed, Fluttershy sighed.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it…” She paused for a few moments, trying to work out what to say, but before long, her nerves broke, and she couldn’t hold together any longer. “Oh, I’m so sorry Twilight!” she burst out. “The only reason you’re in that bed is because I’m so shy…” the puzzled look on Twilight's face only grew more intense.
“Your fault? How can me waking up hungry and sore be because of your shyness? What are you doing in my room while I’m sleeping anyway? The last thing I remember is… the last…” Twilight’s face was overcome with an expression of exertion, clearly trying to remember the events of the last few days. When she came up short, as Fluttershy feared she would, she let out an exasperated sigh.
“I can’t remember anything. Fluttershy, what happened?” Fluttershy hesitated. Would Twilight be angry with her? How could she not? She had spent the last two days in a trauma-induced sleep, barely moving a muscle, all because of her. That still didn’t give her the right to withhold the truth from her friend though.
With another sigh, Fluttershy explained everything: from the moment she had entered the library, to her violent awakening, to Twilight passing out and the trip to Zecora’s hut.
“And when I got back, I applied the poultice to your horn. That was two days ago: you’ve been asleep ever since.” The look of shock that had been slowly developing on Twilight’s face over the course of the story was blown away by an expression of sheer and utter horror.
“Two days? TWO DAYS?!?!” the violet mare exploded. “I’ve been asleep for two whole days?!?! That’s forty-eight hours! Two thousand, eight hundred and eighty minutes! Do you have ANY idea how much of a disaster this is?!?!” Fluttershy cringed, afraid of her friend’s sudden outburst. She knew Twilight might be angry at her, but she wasn’t expecting, nor was she prepared, for such furious rage. She curled up into a ball on the floor and whimpered.
Twilight, who was breathing heavily, face so red that steam was almost whistling out of her ears, took notice of Fluttershy’s agitation, and immediately lost her anger.
“Oh my gosh, Fluttershy, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to get angry. I’m just going to be so far behind on my studies, not to mention I’m supposed to be Ponyville’s librarian! I can’t just sleep for two days straight and get away with it.” Fluttershy barely heard. Her mind was spinning with the ramifications of Twilight not wanting to be her friend anymore.
Oh, this is awful, just awful! How can I be the Element of Kindness if I can’t even keep Twilight as my friend? Fluttershy, you stupid mare! Why did you have to go and hit Twilight like that? Oh, what am I supposed to do? I can’t figure out what to do about Rainbow Dash on my own… Oh, I just don’t know…
Fluttershy hardly noticed Twilight staring at her in wonder. With a sigh, the librarian flipped off the covers, shivering in the chilly air after so long under the blankets, and attempted to get out of bed.
Fluttershy was alerted by a sudden whump, followed quickly by a muffled “ow!” Looking up, she saw that the bed was empty, and she immediately bolted back onto her hooves.
“Twilight?! Oh my gosh, Twilight, where are you? Are you alright? Twilight? TWILIGHT?!?!” Getting more and more frantic, Fluttershy dove onto the bed, and delved into the covers, searching for her lost friend, panic preventing her from noticing the obvious. She froze when she heard the unicorn’s voice.
“Down here Fluttershy…” Fluttershy froze, and looked around. All she saw was the white underside of the sheet she was currently underneath. When she shoved the blanket off with a frantic wave of her forehooves, and when her sight was finally clear, she looked down to see Twilight lying crumpled on the floor.
“Um, Twilight? What are you doing on the floor?” the Unicorn looked up at her with a dead-pan look.
“Oh, I got sick of the bed, and I decided that the floor would be so much more comfortable, so I came down here instead.” The sarcasm was dripping from Twilight’s voice, but in her panicked state, Fluttershy missed it.
“Oh, well, um, okay, if you really want to, I can get you some pillows if you…” she stopped when Twilight smacked herself in the face with a forehoof, which made her flinch with a pained expression.
“Ow! Ugh, no Fluttershy, I was being sarcastic! I tried to get up, but ended up falling down, now hurry up and help me back to the bed!” Fluttershy cringed at the harsh tone in Twilight’s words, but quickly leapt to her side and, levering her head underneath the Unicorn’s midsection, hoisted her back up onto the bed.
With a grunt, Twilight rolled over, and placed her forehooves against her head. Her horn was still causing her quite a lot of pain, Fluttershy surmised. Zecora, who had been by on several occasions when Twilight didn’t wake up the first day, had said that, with the level of trauma the Unicorn had sustained, the horn would continue to hurt for several days.
Fluttershy was hopelessly ashamed.
“Oh Twilight, I’m so so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was just so…” she was cut off by a Twilight’s hoof, which she found pressed against her snout. When she glanced up, Twilight was looking at her with an understanding expression.
“Fluttershy, it’s okay, really. I understand, you were nervous, and you panicked. I’ll be better in a few days, and then everything will be fine.” Fluttershy gaped at her injured friend.
Twilight really isn’t angry at me? But she was so mad before! But maybe that was just because she missed out on two days of studying… Oh, I’m so glad she isn’t unhappy with me. This is wonderful!
Resisting the urge to leap up and grasp Twilight in a huge hug, Fluttershy beamed a wide smile. She stood up, adopting her motherly tone she used for her animal patients.
“Alright, Zecora said that the best thing for you now is bed rest. There’s enough of the poultice here for another application, and she’s coming back this afternoon with more.” Twilight nodded an affirmative. Apparently, once she had come to terms with the fact that she had lost two days and there was nothing she could do about it, the bookworm seemed just fine with the idea of spending several more in bed. Fluttershy was just about to begin the struggle for an idea of what to say next, when Twilight broke the silence instead.
“So, did you come over to the library just to tell me you had a crush on Rainbow Dash, or was there some other reason?”
Fluttershy was mortified.
In all the commotion with Twilight, she had forgotten her worries about Rainbow Dash. Or had made herself forget. Now all those reasons were coming crashing back down onto her, narrowing her vision, and clouding her mind. She forced herself to see through the fog of fear and nervousness and, taking deep breaths, she calmed herself.
“Well, um, what you said is part of it but I… what I wanted to… I mean, if it isn’t too much trouble, I would um… I would very much appreciate your advice…” unfortunately, her voice got quieter and quieter, and before the sentence was halfway, she was mumbling so quietly, Twilight couldn’t possibly have heard.
“Um, what was that Fluttershy?” Fluttershy growled inwardly, frustrated at her lack of confidence at even talking to Twilight.
Come on Fluttershy, you can do this. You need Twilight’s help, and the only way to get it is to speak up!
I would, um, really appreciate, if it’s not too much to ask, um… I-I really need your advice.” This time around was a tiny bit louder, and Twilight seemed to get the message.
“My advice? Well sure Fluttershy, whatever you need, you can ask me anything.”
This is it Fluttershy. She already knows about your crush, now all you need to do is ask. Just ask: nothing too intimidating about that right?
“Well, you see, it’s just… well, I don’t really know what to do, about Rainbow Dash…” Twilight gave her a puzzled look for a moment, before a look of realisation crossed her face.
“Oh Fluttershy, you’re asking me for romantic advice? I don’t know anything about romance! I’ve never even had a colt or marefriend. I guess I’ve just never really thought about it.” Fluttershy was shocked. How could Twilight not know? Twilight was supposed to know everything!
Oh, what am I going to do now? If Twilight doesn’t know, who does? Oh dear, what do I do, what do I do?
Twilight must have sensed her friend’s distress, because Fluttershy soon felt a weight press against her shoulder. Looking up, she saw the mare reaching forward, despite the strain the effort was clearly putting on her, to comfort Fluttershy with a hoof.
“There’s no need to worry Fluttershy, I may not know much about relationships, but I’m still here to help you. This library may not be as extensive as the Canterlot Archives, but I’m sure it has to have books on the subject, and if it can be learned, books can teach it!” Fluttershy was comforted by Twilight’s determination, even if she severely doubted the subject of romance could be so simple as to be mastered from book learning. She had read as many romance novels as the next pony, but she knew that it couldn’t be so easy.
~~~~~~~~~~
Over the course of the afternoon, Twilight had Fluttershy scour the library for every book she could think of that may be of any use to them.
Twilight’s room had become an obstacle course of books and tomes, all containing advice about the subject of romance, or else recounting experiences, fictional and otherwise, of romantic encounters and the likes.
In short, they had every book the library contained that even so much as hinted towards the subject of relationships, from informational encyclopaedias like ‘An Egghead’s guide to Romance’ and ‘L.O.V.E: A Reference Guide’, to romance novels like the ‘Dusklight’ saga and ‘Fifty Shades of Pink’, the latter of which made the two mares blush so furiously, they hid the book under the bed, and hadn’t mentioned it since.
None of it was helping.
All of the romance novels made it seem so easy. Either things just fell into place for the couple with barely any effort on either’s part, or one of the pair walked right up the other with confidence, and a relationship was born. Fluttershy didn’t believe either of these approaches would work for her.
If things were simply going to fall into place between her and Rainbow Dash, they would have already. They had known each other for such a long time that if it were ever going to happen on its own, it would have. The other approach was shot down by the fact that Fluttershy lacked all semblance of the confidence she would need if she was to waltz up and ask Rainbow out on a date.
The informational texts weren’t any more useful. Almost every single one of them told her exactly what Zecora had. Take it slow, share in activities fun for the both of you, but still be bold enough to bring your feelings to light when the time was right. All of this, she already knew, and yet none of it seemed to help. There just wasn’t any information that was useful to an incredibly shy mare like her.
Another fact that had Fluttershy lost, yet didn’t seem to perturb Twilight at all, was the fact that there were very few texts that described a relationship between two mares. Every single one of the romance novels involved a mare and a stallion, and all but maybe one or two of the informative guides were the same. The scant few scraps of information they could find between two mares was even less helpful than the rest. A relationship between two mares was easy, they said, because you’ve already got so much in common, and you’re most likely already friends to begin with. The hardest part was coming out of the closet as a fillyfooler.
This had brought up another major issue, and it was one which Fluttershy had pinned as the source of the majority of her nervousness:
She had no idea if Rainbow Dash was even into mares. The speed addict had never really shown any romantic tendencies towards any mares. The fact that she hadn’t shown any romantic tendencies at all only served to heighten Fluttershy’s skepticism.
Again however, Twilight wasn’t troubled. She seemed to see this as another one of her research projects, and Fluttershy wasn’t sure she was going about it the right way. She already knew most of the information: what she didn’t know before, she certainly did now. She knew all the facts, all the guides, all the approaches, and all of the advice from all the published romance consultants. She just lacked the confidence to do anything about it.
When the sun had long disappeared behind the horizon and the moon was just short of the peak of its overhead arc, Twilight let out a huff, and lay back on the bed, snapping shut the huge book she had been reading.
“Are you sure none of these are helpful Fluttershy? I’ve learned a huge amount from it all, but you seem just as lost as you were when you came here the other day…” Fluttershy hid her face behind her mane, ashamed.
“I’m so sorry Twilight. I wasn’t sure if books would be able to help, and it turns out I was right. I already know everything these books have said, and it just doesn’t help me. I’m just too shy to act on anything these books have suggested…” A thought suddenly struck the canary pegasus, and she marvelled over its significance.
She had grown used to talking about this with Twilight. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but somewhere along the course of their study session, she had become accustomed to discussing the issue with her lavender friend. She had directly mentioned her feelings for Rainbow Dash several times over the last few hours alone, and she hadn’t let out so much as an embarrassed squeak.
True, the concept of broaching the subject with Rainbow herself – or any of her other friends, for that matter – still terrified her, but at least being able to be open with Twilight was a start. She thought she might even be able to discuss the matter with Zecora without too much trouble.
The zebra had stopped by just as the sun was setting, and dropped off another jar of the poultice. It had a strong scent, and was a sickly green colour, but it seemed to reduce the pain in Twilight’s horn only a few minutes after application. She honestly thought the horn was beginning to look worse, but both Twilight and Zecora were adamant that it was on the mend.
Zecora had been astonished at the number of books in the bedroom, and after lightly chastising Twilight for doing so much reading when she was supposed to be resting she had inquired as to the reason for such research. She gave them both curious glances when given the reason.
“Books cannot help, for romance is an art. The instincts must come from inside your heart.” The cryptic couplet seemed to leave Twilight baffled, but reaffirmed what Fluttershy had suspected the entire time. Books were not the answer. This had not stopped the study-crazed unicorn from continuing to read everything she could about the subject.
Finally, it seemed as though Twilight had had enough of the romance books, and the aggravation caused by not being able to find what she wanted was showing on the her features.
Hairs stuck out at gravity-defying angles from her mane, and there were dark shadows under her eyes – from a combination of stress and lack of rest in her injured state – and Fluttershy didn’t want to push it.
“Um, maybe we should get some sleep Twilight…” She suggested hesitantly, and Twilight seemed to think it over for several moments before responding with a huff.
“Oh, you’re right Fluttershy. We’ve been at this for hours, and we haven’t found anything useful. Well, ALL of it seems useful, but if you don’t think you can use any of it… I guess if we haven’t found anything by now, the odds of something else turning up are minimal to none. Let’s just get some sleep, and maybe we’ll find something in the morning, when we’re not so tired.”
Twilight rolled over on the bed, knocking several books to the floor, and almost immediately began snoring in a deep, sound sleep. Fluttershy envied her.
She had barely slept a wink ever since she had hurt Twilight in the first place. Part of her felt bad that only a very small portion of the reason for her insomnia was for her hurt friend, but the rest of her seemed content to let the issue with Rainbow Dash fill her mind with fears, and her stomach with nervous jitters.
Each of her friends had been by to check up on Twilight and herself over the past two days – including Rainbow Dash – but she hadn’t voiced her fears to anypony else besides Twilight and Zecora.
Maybe what she needed was another opinion: a point of view from somepony else who had direct experience with romance and relationships. Applejack and Rarity had just gotten together, so maybe one of them knew.
Oh, but which to I ask? I don’t know if I can bring myself to talk to both of them at once! Rarity seems like she would know the most about it… oh, but she’s in fashion. Ponies in fashion are always judgemental… oh, but Rarity isn’t like that, is she? Applejack is very honest: that’s her element after all. I’m sure she would understand, and help me get through this…
Her mental deliberation over which of her two relationship-savvy friends to ask continued for some time, but she finally came to a conclusion.
Applejack won’t judge me. She’s ‘down to earth’ as everypony says, so she’ll give it to me as straight as she can. That’s it, tomorrow I’m going to talk to Applejack.
Having finally made up her mind, Fluttershy drifted off into a restless sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
Fluttershy soared through the sky. This was nothing new: she was a Pegasus after all. The difference was that she was flying with a certain special pegasus. All of her shy inhibitions gone, she winged through the clouds, laughing with Rainbow Dash as the two circled the fluffy white globs and spun around each other in increasingly complex patterns, before breaking off, and gliding in a straight line for a time.
Fluttershy was happy. She was completely content with everything at that moment in time: being with Rainbow Dash, flying through the sky, playing, laughing and having fun. But then Dash began to pull ahead. Fluttershy flapped her wings faster, trying to keep up, but it just wasn’t enough.
Rainbow kept flying faster and faster, getting further and further away, never once looking over her shoulder to the friend she was leaving behind. Fluttershy called out.
“Rainbow Dash, oh please Rainbow Dash, wait for me! I don’t want you to leave me behind! Please you can’t leave me! Don’t leave me Rainbow Dash!” she shouted, but it was futile. She just wasn’t fast enough, and soon Rainbow was just a speck on the horizon. And then, not even that.
Giving up, Fluttershy flopped onto a large cumulus, and cried. Her sorrow threatened to overwhelm her. The world could have been ending and she wouldn’t have noticed. Not even if Discord returned once more to wreak his chaos upon the world, she wouldn’t have cared.
If the Changeling Queen decided she would make another try at Canterlot, it wouldn’t have fazed her. Rainbow Dash had left her behind. Nothing else mattered.
“Fluttershy…”
The voice echoed through the dreamscape, shattering the silence, and sending ripples across the sky.
“Fluttershy, snap out of it.”
The voice was familiar. Whose was it?
“Come on Fluttershy, you’ve got to wake up!”
A rainbow mane flashed across her mind as her mind connected the dots and she realised who this pony was.
“Rainbow Dash!” it was Dash, of course it was! She was the only other pony around. It had to be her!
She pulled her head out of the cloud, but when she wiped the tears from her eyes, she saw the world crumbling. The ground below was being rent by huge cracks, clouds were exploding in showers of blue fire, and pieces of the sky were falling to the earth far below.
“Fluttershy, wake up!”
Fluttershy opened her eyes and, blinking in the harsh morning sunlight, realised that it had all just been a dream.
She had never soared through the sky laughing with Rainbow Dash. Of course, it also meant that Dash had never left her behind either, so she guessed it was alright.
“FLUTTERSHY!!!”
The shout was harsh, and it jolted Fluttershy fully back into the waking world, and she remembered the reason she had woken up in the first place.
“Rainbow Dash?!?!” Her eyes frantically flew around the room, searching for the Pegasus, but all her eyes found was a purple unicorn: one that was giving her a half curious, half worried look.
“No Fluttershy, it’s me, Twilight.” Fluttershy blushed, and rolled off the bed and onto her hooves. She had no idea whatsoever why she had thought she was hearing Rainbow’s voice when, thinking back, the voice had been so clearly Twilight’s. She smacked her face with a hoof.
“You were mumbling in your sleep…” Fluttershy’s eyes bolted back open, glaring at Twilight from behind her hoof. Twilight didn’t seem to catch the hint, however, and she continued speaking.
“Something about Rainbow Dash leaving you behind…” Fluttershy was unsure of where the unicorn was going with this, but she didn’t think it could be anywhere good.
“You really have fallen for her, haven’t you?” Fluttershy’s breathing froze for a half-second before she realised that she wasn’t actually overly bothered by the question. In fact, she felt her heart soar at the thought, only slightly tempered by her usual constraints of nervousness and fear.
“Well, we should get back to the books!” Twilight suddenly exclaimed after several moments of silence, and Fluttershy flinched.
“Um, actually, Twilight: I really appreciate your help, and I know you’re excited about books and all but, I really don’t think this is the way I need to go about this. I’m sorry, I mean, we can still study, if you want, but I just don’t think it’s going to be of any more help…” Twilight adopted a blank expression, which held for almost a full minute, before she blinked, and shook her head.
“Oh, alright, of course, that’s fine. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been more help.” Fluttershy shook her head quickly, trying to reassure her friend.
“Oh Twilight, you’ve been a huge help. Everything we’ve found here has been very useful, and I’m very grateful. I just think I need to look somewhere else, if that’s okay with you…” it was Twilight’s turn to shake her head, but she quickly winced and placed a hoof on her forehead.
“Ugh, I have got to remember to stop doing that. But Fluttershy, of course, I’m here to help you, and if you don’t think this is helping, that’s fine. Book learning isn’t for everypony, and I guess it is a bit of a difficult subject to pick up on from books.” Fluttershy nodded, relieved that Twilight understood and wasn’t upset with her.
“What will you do now?” Fluttershy cocked her head at the question. What was she going to do now? Vague memories flashed across her mind, and she was struck with sudden remembrance.
“Oh, well, I thought, seeing as Rarity and Applejack have gotten together, I might go ask one of them...” A look of epiphany passed across Twilight’s face, and the unicorn’s hoof flew towards her forehead, only just stopping in time before making a harsh impact on her injured horn.
“Of course!” The bookworm exclaimed. “Rarity and Applejack! You can get first-hand reports: even use their information to make a research paper! Oh Fluttershy, if you make a research paper, I’d love to archive it in the library! We need more material on this subject if we couldn’t find what we wanted.” Fluttershy inched towards the door, Twilight’s ranting intimidating her slightly. Finally, it became too much, and she had to interrupt.
“Um, Twilight?” The unicorn continued for a moment before realising Fluttershy was trying to get her attention. Fluttershy continued when she was sure Twilight was listening.
“Um, I don’t think I’ll be writing a research paper, but if I do, I’ll try and get it to you. I’m going to go talk to Applejack now, so I can’t stay.” Twilight nodded.
“Of course Fluttershy, I know the importance of time management. I’m going to keep on reading up on this. I’m sure there’s something here I’ve missed. If I find anything, I’ll let you know.”
“Oh, thank you Twilight. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help. It’s been good to have somepony to talk to. I’ll be back around this afternoon to check up on you alright?” Twilight nodded, but slowly, to avoid jostling her head too much.
“Alright Fluttershy, thank you. You don’t have to worry though, I’m sure I can manage with Spike’s help, but if you want to stop by, you’re more than welcome too. I can always use the company, and I’ll be able to discuss any findings I make with the research with you.” Fluttershy nodded as she made her way out the door towards the main library.
~~~~~~~~~~
The trip to Sweet Apple Acres took longer than it normally would have. It was almost midday by the time Fluttershy caught sight of the tell-tale red barn that Sweet Apple Acres was known for.
The trip had taken so long because Fluttershy had spent the entire journey deliberately slowing her pace. She needed the extra time to wonder just how in Equestria she was going to broach the subject of her Rainbow Dash situation with Applejack.
The cowpony was already in a relationship, so it shouldn’t be such a difficult topic to bring up, nor should it be so difficult to talk to Applejack about her feelings for Rainbow Dash.
So why did her limbs still threaten to lock up, and her lungs seize, at just the thought of telling the farmer her secret? The feeling was horrible, and she hated it more and more every time it happened.
Even when she had approached the front door of the house, and was lifting her hoof to knock, she didn’t have a clue what she was going to say. After all, what was she going to do? Break down and scream something embarrassing before fainting, like she had at Twilight’s?
No, that wasn’t an option. She might end up hurting somepony again. She had some experience talking about relationship issues thanks to her time spent with Twilight since the unicorn had woken up.
Okay Fluttershy, this is it. Say you need to talk to her. Tell her you need her advice: that it’s really important. Ask what she knows about relationships, ask if she has any advice. If she tells you, then great! If she asks why, well, cross that bridge when you come to it.
She had a plan, and was just about to bring her hoof down determinedly on the portcullis, when she heard a voice call out from the apple orchards.
“Hey there Fluttershy! You’ve been standin’ there a mighty long time. There anything Ah can do for ya?” Fluttershy smacked herself in the face with a hoof. Of course Applejack wouldn’t be inside: she was a work pony! She spent almost all of her time working the apple orchards.
“Oh, hello Applejack, um, how have you been?” The question clearly caught Applejack off guard, but she quickly smiled and, adjusting her trademark Stetson, walked over to Fluttershy.
“Well Fluttershy, Ahm right peachy! Thankin’ you kindly fer askin’. What brings you ta the farm? Surely you haven’t stood at mah door all this time just to say hello.” Fluttershy winced, hoping Applejack hadn’t seen her standing there the whole time: she’d been there for a while, trying to figure out what to say before knocking on the door. She clamped down on the jitters in her stomach and the worried thoughts in her head, and turned to face her friend.
“Well, um, Applejack, I was just wondering if I could, um, talk to you. Only if you have some time, and don’t mind of course, I don’t want to keep you from your work…” Applejack let out a short burst of laughter and shook her mane, which caused her hat to fall askew. Readjusting it, she walked past Fluttershy and opened the door to the house.
“Well Fluttershy, Ah was just about to take a break. Ah’ve been workin’ the farm all mornin’, and I could use a breather.” The Earth Pony led the way inside, out of the cold, and Fluttershy followed gratefully.
The interior of Applejack’s house was as down-to-earth as the outside. Old furniture lined the walls, from antique chests of drawers to ancient-looking armoires, to a worn armchair next to the fireplace in which resided Granny Smith, who was fast asleep in a midday nap. All of the wall space was taken up with photos of the Apple family, ranging from old black-and-white snapshots of Granny Smith as a young mare, to ones taken just recently at the last Summer Sun Celebration.
It was clear, from all the special memories captured in those photographs that the Apple’s treasured family above all else. It was a warming sentiment, and gave the farm home a very welcoming feel. She felt relaxed and at ease, and all her worries seemed to slide away. Until she remembered why she was here, of course. That was when she started feeling walls closing in on her. She forced the walls away, and sighed with relief when they relented.
Applejack was looking at her with a curious expression, and she blushed slightly, and had to force herself to not hide her face behind her mane. Granny Smith snorted in her sleep, but Fluttershy wasn’t worried. The old mare was so deeply asleep that the house could have fallen down and she wouldn’t have noticed.
“So Sugarcube, what was it you wanted to talk about?” Fluttershy opened her mouth to follow through with her plan, but froze, her mouth not wanting to sound out the words she knew she had to speak. It was always this way: everything worked out so well in her head, but when it came time to actually act, everything fell apart.
Forcing herself was usually the only option that was left to her, and it rarely ever worked, but at that moment, surrounded by Applejack’s fond memories, and after her time spent with Twilight, she found herself able to push through the fog of fear.
“Well, um, I was just wondering, if you wouldn’t mind sharing… um, what I mean to say is…” Applejack let out a short sigh, and Fluttershy winced, knowing the work pony was growing impatient.
“I’m sorry, it’s just, well, what I wanted to ask is, what do you know, about relationships…?” Applejack stared at her curiously for a moment, before glancing at the ground in thought. After a moment, she spoke.
“Well Sugarcube, Ah don’t know what Ah can tell ya. Ah don’t rightly know much about relationships at all.” Fluttershy’s mouth flew open, her shyness immediately forgotten. She leapt forward and put her hooves on the farm pony’s shoulders.
“B-But Applejack, you’re dating Rarity, how can you not know about relationships?” Applejack laughed at the shy mare’s sudden outburst, pushed Fluttershy gently away, and shrugged.
“Well, Ah can not know, because I’m still not entirely sure how what happened. Rarity and I just started spending more and more time together: sleepovers and the likes. She seems to like the challenge mah fashion sense gives her too. When she suggested we go on a date, Ah realised just how much Ah enjoyed her company, in a more-than-friends kinda’ way.” Fluttershy shook her head. Many of the books she and Twilight had read said the same thing. Spend time together, the feelings may develop in the other pony that way.
“So, you can’t help me?” Fluttershy was crestfallen. Her entire plan had been to get Applejack’s help with this, but if Applejack didn’t know anything, what could she do?
“Well hey now, Ah never said that.” Fluttershy’s ears perked up. “Just because Ah don’t know all the facts, doesn’t mean Ah can’t be of any help at all. What was it you wanted help with at any rate?” This was it: the moment Fluttershy had expected all along, but the one she feared most. She had to explain her feelings for Rainbow Dash.
You’ve already done it twice Fluttershy, this shouldn’t be so hard for you! Just tell her! She’s your friend, she won’t judge you. She can’t, she’s in a relationship with Rarity for pony’s sake.
All the pep-talks in the world probably wouldn’t have made Fluttershy comfortable with this, but relationships were all about moving outside one’s comfort zone, right?
“Well, you see, um, for a while now, I’ve kind of, you know, had a crush, on Rainbow Dash…” Fluttershy was proud that the volume of her voice had barely dropped at all as she spoke the words, but her breathing stopped, and her heart pounded in her chest as quickly as a hummingbird’s wing-beats as she waited for a response.
“Well Sugarcube, that’s great! Does Rainbow Dash feel the same way?” Fluttershy sighed, and dropped her gaze to the floor.
“Well that’s just the thing: I have no idea. I don’t even know if she’s into other mares, let alone if she has feelings for me too.” Applejack adopted a thoughtful look for a few moments, before shrugging.
“Well, Ah guess I could talk to her about it for ya.” Fluttershy frantically shook her head.
“Oh, no no no, Applejack, thank you, but I don’t think that’s how I should go about this. I just need to know, well…” Fluttershy paused for a moment. What did she need to know? She knew all the theory, thanks to Twilight and Zecora. She knew all the strategies, and she knew all the possible outcomes. So what was left that she needed to know?
“Well Sugarcube? What was it that ya need ta know?” Fluttershy winced, brought back into the world with a jolt.
“Well, um, I’m not sure… I’m sorry Applejack, I know I’m missing something, I just don’t know what…” Applejack thought for several minutes, but shrugged, apparently coming up empty.
“Well, if you don’t know what you’re looking for, then Ah can’t rightly help ya. Have you thought about just up and telling her how you feel?” Fluttershy sighed.
“Oh Applejack, you know I can’t do that. I’m just too shy…”
“Well, how ‘bout spendin’ time with her? Yanno, doing stuff ya both like doin?” Fluttershy had to resist the urge to smack herself in the face with a hoof. Again.
“Everypony keeps telling me that, but I freeze up every time she’s even close! How am I meant to…” Fluttershy froze. She didn’t lock up every time she was close to Rainbow Dash. She hadn’t in the Everfree Forest on the way to Zecora’s. Once she had gotten over the initial nervousness of having the mare close, she had been completely fine.
“Er, Fluttershy?” Fluttershy was snapped back to the present moment for the umpteenth time in two days, and grinned sheepishly at Applejack, who was giving her another curious look. The canary Pegasus immediately wrapped the work pony in a tight hug.
“Oh Applejack, thank you! You’ve been such a great help! I don’t know what I would have done without you!” Releasing her friend, Fluttershy cantered over to the door, threw it open, letting a blast of cold air in that neither pony (nor Granny Smith) took any notice of, and took to the skies, flying off in the direction of Ponyville.
Applejack, who was left breathless from the hug, and entirely confounded as to what had just happened, stood with a blank stare for several seconds, before shaking her head, and walking out the door herself. She faced the direction Fluttershy had taken off in, and readjusted her hat.
“That mare is a strange one alright…” she commented to nopony in particular as she trotted off towards the apple orchards.
~~~~~~~~~~
She didn’t know exactly where she was going. She had taken off in such an excited hurry that she hadn’t thought it through quite as well as she should have, and now that her enthusiastic burst of energy had dissipated, Fluttershy had absolutely no idea what she was going to do now.
The realisation that she wasn’t as nervous around Rainbow Dash as she thought she was had thrown her adrenaline into dangerous levels – for her, anyway – but she needed a plan. The assertive part of her – which was an incredibly small part indeed – whispered that she should just find Dash and just explain everything.
That was obviously not going to happen.
Whilst she thought she would be able to spend time with Rainbow without locking up, she wasn’t sure she was ready to just up and confess her feelings to the athlete just yet.
Her stomach growled, suddenly reminding her that she had not even had breakfast, and it was now lunch time. Seeing as she was already in Ponyville, so she thought she may as well find somewhere to eat in town. The food, and thinking time, might help her to figure everything out.
She wandered down the main street of Ponyville – she had long since stopped flying, as she much preferred walking – searching for a decent place to eat.
Around her, ponies went about their daily lives wrapped in winter clothing, working or shopping at the stalls that lined the town square and main street, or bustling about from their workplaces to restaurants for lunch and back. Some ponies were shovelling the snow off the road, and the sounds of construction were coming from several places throughout the town, signs that preparations for the Hearth’s Warming festival were well under way. It was a clamor that usually sent Fluttershy’s nerves skyrocketing, but for once, she ignored them completely. She was far too busy with her deep introspection do to more than watch where she was going to avoid a collision.
Alright Fluttershy, what are you going to do? You know you can spend time with Rainbow without freaking out, but how are you going to go about doing that? What can I do with her? She likes flying, and napping, and, well… that’s about it…
Rainbow’s job as a weather mare wasn’t a tough job for her, so she spent most of her time practicing her stunts and sleeping. Fluttershy wasn’t a confident flier, so she couldn’t follow Dash in her aerobatic practice, so what could she do?
She was so lost in thought that, when Pinkie suddenly appeared in front of her, she didn’t notice in time, and ended up bumping into the pink Earth Pony. All of Pinkie Pie’s pronking must have given her incredibly strong leg muscles, as the hyper-energetic mare didn’t budge at all, causing Fluttershy to bounce back and onto the snow-covered ground.
Before she could take a moment to recover, Fluttershy was being hauled up off the ground, and into the crushing embrace of a Pinkie Pie hug.
“Oh my gosh Fluttershy, I’m sorry! I was just going to surprise you and ask if you needed lunch, because we’ve got specials on lunch-muffins that are about to start just now, but you didn’t see me, and then you fell to the ground. Are you alright?”
Fluttershy, who was finding it very difficult to breathe, gasped with relief when Pinkie released her, and promptly fell straight back to the ground panting for air.
“Oh, um, yes Pinkie, I’m okay. I’m so sorry I ran into you, I was just so caught up in my thoughts…” She stood back up shakily, and her stomach growled, informing her that Sugarcube Corner was as good a place as any to get some lunch. She turned to Pinkie, who was bouncing on the spot, waiting for a reply.
“Um, a lunch muffin sounds great Pinkie, I guess I’ll take one.” The party pony leapt twice as high as her usual bounce with a wordless shout of delight.
“Oh my gosh, that’s so great! I’ll bake it for you myself!” Pinkie bolted into the shop, and Fluttershy somehow suddenly found herself being dragged inside as well. Before she knew it, she was seated at a table with a mug of hot cocoa as mixing and cooking noises emanated from the kitchen. There were no other ponies in the shop, which explained why they were having a lunch special. Ponies seemed drawn to the concept of a 'special', regardless of the item said special was even discounting.
Fluttershy used this moment of sudden calm to resume her train of thought, which was interrupted somewhere around ‘learning to be a better flier’.
I’m sure, if I tried hard enough, I could get better at flying. But then, I tried so hard when dash wanted to break the wing-power record, but I only improved my wing-power by a tiny little bit…
She continued along this line of thinking for several moments, debating the benefits of working to become a stronger flier, and the impossibilities of that ever happening, when she finally gave up.
Oh, who am I kidding? I’m no great flier. I could never keep up with Rainbow Dash. Even if I trained as hard as I could for a whole year, I’d never be good enough to get her to notice me…
Her new spiral of self-pitying thoughts was interrupted by the clank of a plate being placed on the table. Glancing up, Fluttershy saw that on the plate resided a large, delicious-looking savoury muffin. Standing behind the plate and muffin, was Pinkie Pie, who bore an understanding smile on her face.
Fluttershy wasn’t sure what scared her more: that expression or the fact that Pinkie wasn’t bouncing in her usual happy-go-lucky way. She was about to speak up, and thank the pink pony for the muffin, but Pinkie beat her to the punch.
“Having mare troubles huh?” The question was simple, but contained such measures of thought and caring that Fluttershy’s heart cried out at the fact that she had such fantastic friends.
Then the thought occurred to her that she hadn’t even talked to Pinkie Pie about any of this. Had Twilight told her?
The thought sounded ridiculous: Twilight was great at keeping secrets, even to a fault, but the possibility still troubled her.
“Um, yes, but, if you don’t mind me asking, um, how did you know?” Pinkie giggled, and put a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder.
“Oh silly, it’s written all over your face. You were WAY deep in thought when you bumped into me outside the shop, and you’ve been sitting there for like, ages, staring at that mug. I knew something had to be on your mind, but what? I figured it couldn’t be your critters: you’d never neglect them, and you certainly wouldn’t be spacing out over something like that, so I thought, ‘what else could it be?’. The only other thing I know that could possibly distract you so much would be romance, of course!” The energetic mare nodded as if this was the most obvious thing in the world, but Fluttershy could barely follow. How the Earth Pony knew Fluttershy was having mare troubles, rather than colt troubles, mystified her.
Shaking her head, she reminded herself that you just couldn’t question Pinkie Pie’s logic. It was so twisted and convoluted that it wasn’t possible to follow, but it still usually ended up being spot-on.
“So, whose the gal?” Pinkie queried before Fluttershy could respond to the last verbal torrent, and the Pegasus had to take a few seconds to process the new question before she could even think about responding.
“Um, well, for the longest time now, I’ve sort of, well… I’ve kind of had a crush, on Rainbow Dash…” She finally managed to say. It was only after the words had left her mouth that her nerves kicked in, but before the walls could start closing in, and her lungs could stop working, Pinkie gasped.
“Oh my gosh, of course! Why didn’t I see it sooner! You’ve known Rainbow Dash since you were both just fillies! She even helped you get her cutie mark! Well, I guess she helped us ALL get our cutie marks, but still! Oh gosh Fluttershy this is so great! Does she know how you feel about her? Oh, when did you tell her? What did she say? Does she like you too?” The tirade of questions continued without any gaps presented to allow Fluttershy to answer any of them, but before long, Pinkie seemed to run out of questions to ask, and simply sat there staring at Fluttershy, waiting for answers.
“Um, well, no, she doesn’t know… I haven’t told her I mean. I don’t even know if she likes mares, let alone if she likes me. I just haven’t had a chance to talk to her about it, I guess…” Fluttershy hid behind her mane, slightly overwhelmed by Pinkie’s enthusiasm. Pinkie herself suddenly seemed lost in thought for a second or two, before gasping again, and leaping up to her hooves.
“Okay, if you haven’t found the chance to talk to her about it, I’ll go get her, and bring her here! Then you two can talk all you like!” Fluttershy was horrified at the idea, but before she could say anything, Pinkie had bolted out of the store and out of sight.
Oh, what am I going to do? I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk to Rainbow yet! What if I mess up? What if I lock up? What if I tell her and she doesn’t like me? What if she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore because she thinks it’ll be too awkward! Oh dear, what do I do, what do I do?
~~~~~~~~~~
What are you still doing here?
Fluttershy was frozen in place at the table at Sugarcube Corner. It had been almost ten minutes since Pinkie had disappeared in search of Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy was waging a huge internal war with herself.
On one hoof, this could be the break she was waiting for: an opportunity to talk to Rainbow Dash, express how she felt, and just hope that the fast-paced mare felt the same.
On the other hoof, she was almost completely sure that she wasn’t ready for the encounter. She would probably freeze up, her lungs would lock, she’d fall onto her back, and made a complete fool out of herself. Either that or, if she actually somehow found the courage to talk to Rainbow, that she’d look foolish anyway, or if she impossibly managed to tell the rainbow-maned mare her feelings, that she would be rejected. She wasn’t sure she could deal with that eventuality.
So there she sat, frozen like a log in the chair, muffin untouched, as the world passed her by outside the frost-glazed windows of the shop. She sat so for several more minutes, until the shop bell clanged, jolting her back into the present moment with the realisation of what that probably meant.
Frantically, she spun her head to face the door, and saw Pinkie Pie, somehow covered from head to hoof in snow, hopping in through the door. Only her eyes and her bouncing gave her away as she moved through the shop and into the kitchen without a word. Fluttershy was just about to call out to her, when the bell rang again, signifying another pony entering the shop.
The wind-tousled rainbow mane was unmistakeable, as was the agile yet muscular frame, flowing tail, curved thighs and…
Stop that! Why can’t you just look at her as if she’s just your friend? Things are always awkward enough without those kind of thought’s fogging my head.
Meanwhile, Rainbow’s eyes scanned the store, and when they settled on Fluttershy, a large grin flashed across her features. She trotted over, and took the seat opposite the yellow pegasus.
“Hi there Flutters! You here for lunch too?” The question was normal enough, and Fluttershy silently prayed Pinkie hadn’t said too much. Rainbow continued without waiting for a reply.
“I was just about to start working on some awesome new stunts, but Pinkie tackled me and said that Sugarcube Corner was selling lunch-muffins. She seemed unusually insistent too, and I figured I was getting hungry anyway, so I followed her back. Didn’t know you were here too.” Fluttershy mentally shouted a thank you to Pinkie for being subtle for once.
“Well, I’m um, glad you came, Rainbow Dash…”
Come on Fluttershy, this is it. You wanted this. Well, part of you did anyway. This is your chance: there’s nopony else in the store, so you two are alone. You may not get another chance like this for a while! Fluttershy steeled herself, and found some measure of the soothing calmness that had overcome her in the Everfree Forest those few days earlier.
Rainbow Dash was looking at her curiously – a lot of ponies seemed to be doing that recently – and Fluttershy took a deep breath.
“Um, yes, Rainbow. Um, if you don’t mind, could I maybe, talk to you for a while?” Dash cocked her head to the side, but after a moment, nodded.
“Yeah, sure thing Flutters.” She turned her head towards the kitchen, and called out to Pinkie. “Hey Pinkie! Could I grab one of these lunch muffins? They look really good!”
“Alright Dashie! One lunch-muffin coming right up!” came the cheerful reply from the kitchen. Rainbow turned back to face Fluttershy.
“So, what was it that you wanted to talk about?” The question caught Fluttershy off-guard – why, she didn’t know: she’d spent the better part of a week preparing for this moment – so it took her a few seconds to get her thoughts in order. Once she sorted her mind out, she realised that the moment was upon her, but the expected crushing wave of panic never came. She felt as calm as a day without a breeze. It didn’t stop her from stuttering her words, of course, but it allowed her to speak them in the first place.
“Well, I was wondering… well, what I really wanted to say was, um… well, you see…” Dash groaned, and brought a hoof up to her forehead.
“Come on Flutters, spit it out!” Fluttershy winced, but forced herself to say the words she was dreading having to speak.
“Well, um you see, for a while now, I’ve… I’ve…”
Rainbow gave her a pointed look, a clear indication that the speed-addict mare was growing impatient. In her nervous state, that was all she saw. What she missed was the prominent undertone of terror written all over Dash’s face. The cyan Pegasus knew something was coming.
“Well, I’ve… for a while now I’ve kind of… I mean, I’ve sort of, had a crush. On. You…” The last three words were halting and slow, and left as barely more than a whisper, but they seemed to echo around the space, growing louder and louder the longer the following silence lasted. Fluttershy could still hear them bouncing around, long after the actual sound had faded.
Rainbow’s face had fallen, all looks of impatience gone. Even her usual composure of cocky confidence had vanished completely. It was then that Fluttershy started to realise that something was horribly wrong. When Rainbow finally spoke, her voice wavered, as if she was completely unsure of herself. Which was ridiculous, Rainbow Dash was never unsure.
“Fluttershy, I… I…” the fact that Rainbow Dash was speaking haltingly worried Fluttershy more than anything else she could imagine. She said nothing though: Just waited for Dash’s response.
“I… Fluttershy, I already know.” Fluttershy froze.
What?
“I’m sorry Fluttershy. I’m sorry I haven’t said something sooner, I’ve just been unsure about how to take this… when Pinkie said she wanted me to come to Sugarcube Corner for lunch… I had no idea… I wasn’t thinking properly…” Fluttershy couldn’t speak: her mind was frozen on a single thought.
She already knows…
It took her a moment to unstick her mind, and when she did, her words fell out of her mouth without much thought on her part.
“You… you already know? But how? I don’t understand…” Rainbow flinched, and her gaze sunk lower from the table to the floor in front of her seat.
“I was flying overhead when you were at the library and screamed it out. I was also outside the door when you were talking to Twilight about it once she woke up… I was just coming to check up on you, I swear!” The cyan Pegasus quickly added the last part after Fluttershy gaped at her with a disbelieving stare. “And… and I also saw all the books in Twilight’s room this morning. I came to check up on Twilight while you were still asleep…”
Fluttershy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. So much worrying, so much stress. All that trouble over the issue of trying to tell Rainbow Dash how she felt: and the mare already knew? She had to ask a question, but she was terrified of the answer she might get.
“So um, what… what about you?” The question hung in the air, and seemed to leech the warmth out of the room, despite the fireplace burning in the corner. Dash’s response was slow in coming, and when it came, it was said with a level of sorrow that shook Fluttershy to her core.
“I… I don’t… Fluttershy, I’m sorry, but I can’t… I’m not… I don’t…” the words were halting, and each one of them struck a dagger into Fluttershy’s heart. “I’m so sorry Fluttershy, I just don’t know… I-I need some air.” The cyan-coated mare quickly got to her feet, and galloped out of the shop, pausing only to throw open the door. The burst of snow that flowed back through the portcullis as the door closed was clear indication that Dash had taken off quickly as soon as she had gotten outside.
Fluttershy watched the spot where Rainbow had disappeared, her heart breaking in her chest, tears flowing freely down her face. Pinkie entered from the kitchen with a second muffin but, seeing Dash gone, and the hurt on Fluttershy’s face, she backed back out of the room. Fluttershy didn’t notice. She didn’t care. What else mattered? Rainbow Dash had walked out on her. What else could possibly be of any significance compared to that?
She sat in her seat, staring at the bench, her tears creating an ever-growing puddle on the table-top. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. After all her preparation, Rainbow had already known about her feelings.
And she had flown away…
Images of a dream in which Rainbow vanished off over the horizon flashed through Fluttershy’s head, as a single question drifted with agonizing slowness across her mind.
What did I do wrong?
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Poor fluttershy
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
When I read the end:
A shot right to the feels.
This... This is gold.