• Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 26 minutes ago

SamRose


Sequels1

E

This story is a sequel to Silent Ponyville


In an attempt to make her feelings known, Fluttershy begins to persue the target of her delicate heart's affection. However, when her interest seems to be oblivious to her feelings will she find the inner strength to admit her true feelings to the one she desires? Or will disaster follow her at every turn? (Takes place 1 month after Silent Ponyville, but is not required reading material)

Sequel: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/4868/Silent-Ponyville-2

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 130 )

D'AAAAWWWW! SUCH A HAPPY STORY!

Woot I loved this story.

knighty
Site Owner

I LOVED this story when I read it originally :3

Really good stuff

good chapters but one problem WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE TO COMMENT ON THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS I will have to finish this tomorrow I'm really tired it is midnight here

This was awesome when I read it on a different site. Excellent story. Wonder if Jake will put all of his Silent Ponyville's on here too.

"He was pointing behind her to the kitchen."
Mule get your FLANK back in that kitchen!!:flutterrage:

73189 i got yo back here. osum story so far

FUS... RO... D'AAAAAWWWWWW!!!!:yay:

way too short. you neede to keep going. i'm deducting a star. 4/5

I agree... Needs expantion but... So cute

Other than the many grammar mistakes I loved it. If you would like me to go through and tell you what and where they all are just ask on my account (Not) I have to use a guest account on my iPod...

:ajsmug: Well that was quite nice.. I love shipping! Well done.

TLC

Only 3 comments?! Madness!:flutterrage:

it's good for you (eats mayonnaise SWEDISH MEAL TIME :flutterrage::flutterrage:)

In my short time of joining FimFiction I have already read at least thirty fanfics and of those thirty fanfics I am already at the point where I’m struggling to decide which one is my favourite. This fanfic is one of those, and for good reason, reasons to which I plan to lay out before you.

First off I am a huge fan of FlutterDash, and this is most definitely my favourite portrayal of the couple. It’s original, while most romance fanfics go about the route that both characters love one another or that both characters happen to be into mare’s, this one has Rainbow Dash being (I can’t think of a proper term for it so the following is what I figured to be the best way to describe it) oblivious to love, having never really thought on the subject. Despite this, in an incredibly touching moment, she is willing to try things out with Fluttershy, and it all manages to end happily. It is certainly unique but also feels more deep and compelling, it’s one thing if they were both in love with one another, but it is simply heart melting when one does not have feelings for the other but is willing to try the relationship out, to see if feelings could blossom. Romance on Fluttershy’s side is believable and well worded; managing to keep her in character even with the additional element of her having feelings for Rainbow Dash. It progresses not just nicely, but smoothly, and while I usually I have to complain about a fanfic for having poor pacing this is one to which I have to praise it for. Seriously, the story flows ever so well with each sentence being just the right length and each chapter ending at just the right moment. No part of it felt rushed and while the story left me longing for more it also felt complete. While the vocabulary was not amazing by any means it was put to good use, with details scattered throughout the fanfic, and when it needed too, made itself known for the right scene (for instance when describing Fluttershy’s dress, something I could picture surprisingly well in my head). While not a comedy it had some genuinely funny moments, and the emotions were so well presented that I actually found myself sad whenever Fluttershy was, and smiling whenever she was happy.

As much as I love this fanfic, like with any fanfic I do review it is my sworn duty to point out the faults as well as possible areas for the author, you in this case, to improve on. Writing, in this case spelling and grammar, was solid for the most part, with only the occasional slip in chapters 1 and 4 (such as forgetting to make the ‘d’ at the start of Dash a capital). As a result of these slips I did suffer a bit of confusion when reading chapter 4 because some of the words were in the wrong order in the sentences, but it was nothing too dire and I could make out what was supposed to be written in each scene. One criticism I do have, though what has lead to this fault I can understand, is how difficult it is to spot when a character is thinking rather than talking. This ‘ isn’t exactly the easiest of indicators to spot for when a character is thinking instead of talking which looks very similar and I would suggest using an alternative method to highlight a characters thoughts. Normally I would suggest using italics but you already used those for flashbacks, how about trying the words in bold or (if you can on this site) having the words underlined. It would make it a lot easier to discern thoughts from speech, and while there is the obvious tip off of the narration mentioning that the character ‘thought’ there is also the odd case where you have the character mentioned as having ‘thought’ of something but at the same time having them mention it out loud (early on in the Epilogue is one such case). My main criticism of this fanfic is the inclusion of the unnamed colt who had a crush on Fluttershy, not because there was such a character but because it felt unnecessary. All of the events (Angel questioning Fluttershy’s judgement, Fluttershy finding out where Rainbow Dash had gone off too) could have occurred without that character existing, and in the end it felt like the inclusion of the character came to nothing.

There are some things I can question about this fanfic (while I can easily see Angel being defensive on who Fluttershy loves I think it was presented in an overly harsh manner in this fanfic) and others to which I accept completely (like your portrayal of FlutterDash) but there are two things I can be certain on. The first, that I truly do love this fanfic enough to have read it three times within the space of a week, and second, that if the following scene were to occur in the cartoon ‘Success!’ Fluttershy thought while grinning as she pumped her hooves a little to herself’ my heart would explode from how adorable it is. Fantastic job, keep up the wonderful work!

I'm sorry to have to point this out, but at the near start of the chapter you wrote Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy Introducing themselves after the race had taken place, and afro mentioned race took place because rainbow dash was defending Fluttershy from the bullies, so Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy already knew eachother :3 Just saiyan. Love the story otherwise!

97011. Let there be 4 comments!!!!!:rainbowdetermined2:

" Rainbow laughed as he tried to

cheer up her friend"......
That sounds a little incorrect

The 5th comment was made, and it was good. Just like this story!

*stands up and slowly starts to clap, my eyes teared up a bit from sad parts of the story* Bravo! Bravo! :pinkiesad2:

We need more comments in here:rainbowlaugh:! Awesome story so far, can't wait to see how it develops. But for now i gotta do some home work :ajbemused:

Epic. i usually hate when people write "shipping" and pair up ponies but i liked it in this story

What is this on the horizon?
TIS BUT A SEVENTH COMMENT!

But this is seriously good.

Much dawwwwww was had this day.

Good work, Really enjoyed reading this story :)

Angel Bunny
Y U no be nice? :fluttershbad:

She's kind, great with kids and animals, is a great cook, is willing to welcome others into her heart, has a great sense of fashion, and can listen well.

Why did she have to be a lesbian horse? :raritydespair:

I'm sure that nothing wrong can happen to this beautiful coup-

*Remembers that this is Silent Ponyville continuity*

Oh dear.

Magnificent work, I cant wait to get through the rest of your stories.

The story was well written and is actually believable. Now of course this builds up to Silent Ponyville 2 but in all it makes a great romance story and I can't wait to read the second part after Silent Ponyville 2.:rainbowkiss:

147071
Thats not theoretically true. Its more likely she knew those guys were bullies, and generally tried to stand up to them. I do not recall at all Rainbow Dash actually talking to Fluttershy and knowing her. Rainbow just seems like the type to stand up to bullies on principle.

People have a problem with what number of comments are here, it seems.

You know, its probably a good thing that this was made before Putting your Hoof Down, I could see New Fluttershy going all aggressive/possessive on Rainbow Dash and maybe a bit of domination thrown into the mix. Which wouldn't have ended well.

I find the idea of RD kissing Fluttershy when she doesn't even know how to feel about this...to be rather odd, frankly. I know its Rainbow Dash, who tends to suffer from hoof in mouth syndrome, and that she tends to act without thinking, but I just don't honestly see Rainbow Dash reacting like that in this case. I can't even say I could see her deciding then and there to become Fluttershy's marefriend. I think at least Rainbow Dash would have wanted some time to think about it.

But that's just my feeling, and its still a good story.

72747
And yet this leads up to more grim-dark adventures in the other world.
232936
Exactly. Considering this is leading to a Silent Ponyville, it's not exactly as D'AAAAWW as you would think. More like "Holy Celestia, there's going to be some rough roads ahead" sort of thing.

358640

I'd certainly agree with you if I was writing this now. As it was I was a bit inexperienced when I was writing this. I mean it was my very first time writing shipping and it shows. So I had the conclusion wrap up a lot nicer than it probably would've. A thing I fix in the eventual sequel The Rainbow's Surprise.

But thank you for enjoying the story! I'm sure I'll get around to writing more appropriate FlutterDash stuff eventually, just right now focus is on SP3. =3

just finished:pinkiehappy: silent ponyville 2, so i decided to read this, also since in the third one they're getting married.

I loved it! I only read the Silent Ponyville stories, I really didn't give much thought into reading the side stories... I'm glad I have though! I'll read some more of the side ones tomorrow! Keep up the wonderful writing! :twilightsmile:

That ending made up for EVERYTHING. That was one of the most adorable things I've seen and a quite mature decision for Rainbow Dash. I'm surprised and impressed. Now if only I had time to read the sequel.

wait wat does it mean if she dident like a mare or a stallion? is that a thing? if so wats it called?

It was a nice dinner, until everything went all Final Destination.

When was this written again? Before or after SPV2? Cuz I don't recall seeing any of the usual "seemed to" or "with all her might" tropes. That's a good thing. I think you relax when you Flutterdash it, or something.

I always feck up Rainbow Dash's personality, especially when I approach Shipping fic concepts. But, so far in this chapter, Rainbow Dash is acting extremely natural and true to character. This is most likely cuz she's not the protagonist who's pining after another poni poni poni, but it feels a lot more digestible than other stories out there. Well, other stories I've read, I suppose.

So yeah. More poni poni having romantic dinners, plz, thank you.
-SS&E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpk7bccuY9s

I'm intrigued by Fluttershy ripping the letter to shreds. It was totally unexpected, and yet it was poignant enough to make a reader ask questions. Incessant foreshadowing is incessant.

I think I'm understanding your whole Fluttershy/Rainbow Dash/Pinkie angle, at least within the domain of this fic. Makes for a nifty dynamic.

Smack that dayum rabbit, my god.

This is my favorite chapter so far. Rarity wins.

If this insults you, I apologize. But I find this to be incredibly better written than Silent Ponyville. Maybe because you're not stressing to adhere to so much stress, tension, and pretense. The characters feel natural--in spite of the shipping element's suspension of disbelief. I lurve Rarity's dialogue and the way you have Rainbow Dash get angry. It all fits well.

The whole "Gentlecolt Courting 101" thing is adorable and suggests a device they would use in the show. Well done. Also, I'm a sucker for Fluttershy/Rarity friendshipping, so I'm glad you used that as a means of cross-analyzing the Flutterdash stuff... or something. F'naa.

All in all, this was the chapter I was looking for to help inspire me for the next craptacular installment I have to write. So, much thanks, you hairy mofo.

-SS&E

PWANG.

Essentialist comedy, what with all of the bungled attempts at making a romantic evening. Felt like something the show would pull off.

I loved Applejack's cameo. Felt like a perfect foil for Flutterdash. Not that I'm implying anything...

Ahem. But, of course, this is a shipping fic. And shipper's gonna ship. I fear there's always a sense of magic and whimsy that's lost as soon as the 'L' word is spoken out loud. You did a great job setting up this whole situation, and all the while maintaining Rainbow Dash's neutral, unromantic personality. And then Fluttershy comes out with her feelings and Rainbow Dash kisses her within minutes of it?

I applaud you for having RD verbally confess that she was "unsure" about how to feel. Still, though, despite her implying a neutral stance, she's obviously fulfilling the role of "OH YES I LURVE YOU TOO YA SILLY FILLY." As fanfictions go, that's delightfully d'awwwwwful. But I fear that you've lost the realistic portrayal of Rainbow Dash you've worked so long to maintain. But, like, what would be the alternative? I think I would have preferred you ending the chapter on a cliffhanger. Like, have Fluttershy make her confession, then have RD not respond, and Fluttershy goes off to sob into Angel Bunny's.... paws? Then, like, in the next chapter you could have RD finally give Fluttershy a response, suggesting that she needed time to think about it. At least then it would seem as if the romantic conclusion wasn't rushed.

Still, though, it doesn't ruin the fic or wutnot. I'm a whore for long-ass narratives, and if I had my way I would have made all four of these chapters--like--fourteen chapters long instead. You kept it brief, to the point, and adorable... which is what readers look for in shipping, I imagine.

Also--and I haven't mentioned this before--but I like the parallel storyline you did. I'm a sucker for past/present narratives, and it's nice to have had all of the Flight School sequences stretched over time and used as a prelude to the main plot in each chapter. I appreciate that stuff, and it shows me that you have a penchant for more complicated forms of narrative than the likes of Silent Ponyville has shown. F'naa.

-SS&E

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