III
III
“I gotta tell ya, F…Flt…” Rainbow’s eyes crossed as she forced her tongue to work properly. “Fluttershy…you were awesome today.” Rainbow tipped back her glass and drained the rest of the beer, teetering on the barstool.
Fluttershy smiled and took a sip of her water. “Thanks, Rainbow.”
“No, no, really.” Rainbow shook her head emphatically. “Ev…everythin’ I said to Spitfire, I meant. We never would’a gotten ‘nough wing power without you.” She tapped on the bar, and the bartender brought her another glass. She gulped down half and swayed, leaning into Fluttershy’s shoulder. She dropped her voice to a mumbling whisper. “I knew you could do it, y’just needed me to en…encour…help ya get there.”
A ghost of a frown crossed Fluttershy’s lips as Rainbow pulled away and downed another mouthful of beer. She took a sip of water and said, “I’m just glad we could get the reservoir up to Cloudsdale at all.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t lookin’ too good.” Rainbow kicked off from the bar to send her stool spinning, giggling as she went. “You totally saved th’ day.” She lost balance and almost tumbled to the floor, landing against Fluttershy roughly. She nuzzled into her girlfriend’s shoulder and growled, “An’ you were so damn hot up there.”
Fluttershy grimaced as Rainbow nibbled her neck, shooting a glance all around the room. “C-can we go home, Rainbow?”
“But I’m not done drinkin’!” She lunged to the bar and drained the rest of her beer. “S’a party!”
“I have some beer at home. Please can we go?”
“Spoilsport,” Rainbow giggled. She swung a hoof back to her saddlebag fast enough to spin the chair, and she slid off onto the floor. Fluttershy helped her to her hooves and she fumbled around to pull a pouch of bits out, a stream of helpless chuckles escaping her mouth the whole time. Fluttershy’s gaze drifted around the darkened room from pony to pony as her girlfriend counted out the tab, and when they turned to leave she dropped her line of sight to the floor.
Rainbow stumbled into her side and leaned against her for support as they trotted out of the bar. The cool night air hit their faces and a shiver ran up Rainbow’s spine. She nuzzled Fluttershy strong enough to make her girlfriend stumble. “Why such a hurry? You wanna get home right away?” Fluttershy felt Rainbow kiss the base of her jaw and she grimaced again; her eyes darting around the assorted ponies milling about the streets. “You wanna cele…sss…cel’brate in style?”
Fluttershy felt a hoof drift up her flank and she stepped away from Rainbow. Her drunken girlfriend teetered without her support and fell back into her, nearly driving them both to the ground. As Rainbow giggled, she straightened up and increased her pace, her mouth set in a thin line.
“What’sa…what’sa matter?” Rainbow asked, wavering as they sped up.
“Nothing.”
Rainbow’s laughter dropped off as they hurried out of town and down the path to Fluttershy’s home. They made their way inside quietly to avoid waking up any of the animals, and Rainbow collapsed onto a chair at the kitchen table. Fluttershy sighed and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. Rainbow stared at the open bottle in front of her for a moment before leveling her gaze on Fluttershy.
The canter through cool air coupled with her fast metabolism had lifted most of the fog of booze from her mind. She didn’t slur her words when she said, “What’s with you?”
Fluttershy pulled back the blinds to let the light of the moon in, casting a white glow around the kitchen, and sat down at the table. She slumped in her chair and rubbed her temples. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.”
“Stop it,” Rainbow grumbled, taking a drink. “You always do this. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
Rainbow slammed her hoof on the table, making her beer rattle. “Tell me what’s wrong!”
Fluttershy jumped in her seat and sat up straight. She looked away and crossed her forelegs over her chest as if huddling for warmth. “You’re drunk, Rainbow. If you still want to know in the morning, we can talk about it then.”
“Just tell me, I’m not that drunk.”
Fluttershy’s frown deepened and she hugged herself tighter.
“Celestia dammit, Fluttershy!” Rainbow slammed her hooves down again. “You always, always do this! I just wanna talk and you shut down! You did it all this week, too!”
Fluttershy’s hooves dropped to the table in challenge and she leaned forward, glaring at Rainbow. “You want to know? Fine. You spent all week pushing me and pushing me to fly for the water transfer, because it was important to you. And I tried, and fought, and I did it, and you said all those nice things to Spitfire, and I felt so great, and…” She blinked and glittering wet rolled down her cheeks. “And you still made it all about you, anyway!”
“What are you talking about?” Rainbow’s brow furrowed as she took a swig, her words coming out harsher than she meant.
“‘All you needed was me encouraging you.’ Some encouragement.” She looked at the table as sour tears ran down her face. “You knew what it was like in flight school. You knew. And all week you’ve been telling me it ‘wasn’t a big deal.’ Because it got in the way of what you wanted me to do, even if it scared me.”
“But you did do it, and you did awesome!” Rainbow grunted with barely restrained anger. “You just needed a push to get through it, so I gave you a reason to do it!”
“I did it for me!” Fluttershy yelled. She gasped and clapped her hooves over her mouth, shocked at her own volume. She sat back and closed her eyes. “Not for you, or for Cloudsdale, I did it because I needed to. And I thought you got it.”
“I said you did it, didn’t I? I knew that was hard for you, which is why I kept pushing; I knew it’d be good for you!”
“You still don’t get it, and then afterwards, in front of all those ponies…” She touched her neck where Rainbow had nipped her. “What if somepony saw you kissing me and said something? I can’t deal with that, you know I can’t, why can’t you ever remember?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes and took a long drink. “If anypony ever says anything, I’ll buck their face off.”
“I don’t want you to get in fights, I just want to be left alone.” She shook her head slowly. “All I ever want is to be left alone, but you don’t understand because all you want is to be the center of attention. Just like when we were fillies and you broke up with me so you never had to leave Cloudsdale, where everypony wanted your autograph.”
“That’s not why!” Rainbow shouted at the top of her lungs. In the flare of anger, she grabbed the beer bottle off the table and swung her leg. As soon as the bottle left her hoof she regretted it, and she watched helplessly as it shot through the air.
The bottle smashed on the wall with a tinkling splash. Beer fizz splattered in a rough circle, dotted with the shards of glass that stuck in place instead of raining to the ground. Fluttershy shrieked and leapt off the chair, scooting across the floor to the opposite wall.
Rainbow heaved ragged breaths, staring at the wall with disbelieving eyes. “I…I’m sor—”
“Just go away!” Fluttershy cried.
Rainbow sat rooted on the spot, watching thick foam dribble down the wall. The sound of chickens scrabbling through the yard came in through the closed window; the noise from breaking glass and yelling had roused them from their sleep. Rainbow turned her head.
Fluttershy was cowering from her. She had taken the love of her life out to celebrate after seeing Fluttershy break through all her barriers. Rainbow had been so proud of Fluttershy and just wanted to do something nice.
And the old pain, the old fear, the old broken promise shone on Fluttershy’s face.
Rainbow Dash fled the house, flying dangerously fast and crooked from the alcohol still in her system.
Rainbow stood from the table and carried the full beer to the sink. She poured it out and watched the fluffy head spatter against the drain. After that night, she never drank more than two beers around Fluttershy, but as she rinsed the empty bottle, she knew it was just treating a symptom. She turned and trotted back towards the table.
Her eyes scanned the wall, expecting to see the thrown drink shine in the moonlight, but it had been washed away and left with a stretch of whitewash, bright in the midday sun streaming through the window. The ghost of the image was still there. She sat down on the floor and stared at the wall.
Rainbow’s ear flicked as Fluttershy’s voice, muffled by the window, filtered in from the back yard. “Not now, Angel.”
Rainbow sighed and drooped where she sat.
“I mean it; Rainbow’s inside and I don’t have time for this. You like carrots, I know you do, I’ll make you something fancier later.”
A small and helpless smirk lifted Rainbow’s lips.
“Listen, buster, I really don’t have the energy for this right now, so eat your carrot and like it.”
A wave of desire raced up Rainbow’s spine. Stronger than before, stronger than she’d remembered in months, she wanted to rush to Fluttershy’s side and hold her. It was almost dizzying how powerfully it struck her as she sat in the kitchen and imagined beer dripping down the wall.
Rainbow frowned and her thoughts turned inward. She circled the question again, puzzling, forcing herself to think, trying to break through the stubborn loop.
She didn’t want to break up with Fluttershy. The why on that was easy. She didn’t want to break up, because she loved Fluttershy. She loved the way she felt around her beautiful, quiet little pony when things were good. Her brow creased as she contemplated.
“…How do I feel around her?”
Rainbow traced the feelings into her past and found herself remembering how they had first become friends back in flight school. Some bully whose name had drifted away with the sands of time had called her a runt, and her anger got the better of her. Instead of a race, and despite the colt being twice her size, she had settled with him immediately with a hoof to the jaw.
The colt hadn’t gone down. Any old notions he might have had about not hitting girls fled his mind as soon as she split his lip. Rainbow Dash was many things over the course of her life, but weak, a pushover, mild-tempered, or completely in control of herself were not on the list. She didn’t remember the fight very well, but that wasn’t caused by the fifteen years of time passing; she blanked a large portion of it from her memory as it happened.
One moment the colt had lunged at her. The next thing she knew, she was standing over him, her snout bleeding, her hooves aching, her breaths heavy.
He wasn’t moving anymore. He hadn’t been moving for a lot of the hits, she was told later. She did remember the aftermath, crystallized in her memory in stark detail: the way all the other foals looked at her. Their widened eyes skittering away as she turned, the way they shied back from her presence.
They looked at her like she was a wild animal that had broken free of a cage. Some sort of rampaging beast instead of a pony. Rainbow remembered feeling her stomach shrivel as she turned in place, remembered feeling like a dangerous creature.
Until she locked eyes with Fluttershy.
Rainbow’s spine straightened in recognition. That look, years old and on the face of a filly instead of a mare, rocked her where she sat. She suddenly knew exactly when she had started thinking about ‘them’ again: it was at the top of a mountain in front of a dragon. Her mouth opened and she laughed.
Fluttershy came back inside and paused in the doorway. Rainbow sat on the floor by the wall, tears running down her face and laughing. Fluttershy frowned and stepped forward. “Rainbow?”
In a shot, Rainbow was around her neck, pinning her to the ground and rubbing tears into her cheek. “I’m so stupid,” Rainbow giggled.
“Rainbow, what—?” Fluttershy closed her eyes as Rainbow kissed her, small giggles vibrating her lips.
Holding her close, feeling her body tremble and her jittery pulse, Rainbow broke the kiss and nuzzled her again. “I love you because I’m a wild animal.”
“What?”
“I’m a wild animal, Fluttershy. I always have been, and you’ve always seen it, but you don’t care. You don’t care and you love me anyway—maybe because that’s who I am. When I’m with you, I don’t have to fight all the time, because you understand me and you’re not afraid of me.” She sat up. “At least when I’m being myself.”
Fluttershy stroked Rainbow’s mane, letting herself be pulled up to her haunches. For a while she just basked in being held. Eventually she broke the silence. “…Where does this leave us? It doesn’t really fix anything.”
Rainbow chuckled again and leaned back from the embrace, studying Fluttershy’s face. “It fixes a lot. When one of your animals is messing up, what do you do?”
Fluttershy frowned. “Well, I tell it what’s going on and—”
“Exactly. Everything gets to be this big deal because we never tell each other what’s going on until it is a big deal.”
Fluttershy sat back and looked around the room, lost in thought. “…I never want to start fights.”
“And I don’t either; I’m too busy trying to be this safe place for you, when you don’t need me to do that. Me being quiet isn’t what makes you feel safe. Me being me makes you feel safe. And you not talking to me doesn’t keep us from fighting; it makes you hold onto stuff, and then it explodes. And it’s the same for me. Imagine if I just said, ‘Ugh, those knitting needles are driving me nuts,’ on the first day you started knitting?”
Fluttershy smiled. “I would’ve stopped knitting when you were around.”
Rainbow grabbed her and kissed her again. “We just gotta talk more. I know you have it in you; I see it all the time when you’re with the animals. It’s why I started thinking of us again, even if I didn’t know it. I know I’m sorta thick sometimes, you just need to make sure I’m listening, and I’ll try to really listen. I promise I’ll try. And I’ll stop trying to protect you from me all the time, because when I do, it always explodes, and I hurt you anyway.”
Fluttershy nodded and pressed into Rainbow’s neck. “I’ll try, Rainbow. I hate fighting all the time.”
“So talk to me instead. We can make this work.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, Fluttershy.” She hugged her girlfriend close, feeling that hummingbird heartbeat thrum against her chest. “I promise you that I’ll listen.”
Fluttershy nodded against her neck and they sat together in the kitchen, listening to each other breathe. It was a long time before they moved, lost in the embrace, wrapped in each other’s hooves and wings, like tree limbs entwined, stretching up to reach the sunlight.
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Oh boy. Bats story. To steal from Skeeter... Commence Read!
The second I read the title, that Katy Perry song got stuck in my head, and then when I noticed it wasn't a smut story, my feels died a little. But, nonetheless, since you wrote it, imma read it (later, because I have a stupid test to take) because I'm positive it's gonna be awesome.
why does it say zero words total?
3257195
The word count updates on a backlog, and I had the chapters sitting unpublished and thus not counted before I submitted it. Just so happened to get approved before the word count updated.
You've got 13 likes and about 19 reads. This is going to get featured. I'm calling it.
Congrats on the win, by the way! You deserved it. Also... that profile pic... I love it!
It was quite a pleasure to see this story among the entries. A very refreshing, grown up look at FlutterDash.
I already said this before, but excellent job, bats. I had a feeling it was you, but still. Very well done. This was one of the best stories I'd ever read, and congratulations for winning. It was definitely deserved.
I knew it - I knew skimping out on my test was worth it. Goddammit, you tore my heart apart, but that ending repaired it up perfectly. bats, you really do have skillz, man, seriously. You should, like, try to get a book published or something, that's how good you are. Take all of my feels and mustaches.
I read it. And it was good.
Also, I learned what the return is on beer bottles in Equestria. What else can you ask from a fic?
FlutterDash + Bats = Win? for a TwiDash writer you certainly wrote an awesome FlutterDash you get my like and fave
You my good sir are a truly magnificent bastard.
I mean that in a good way though.
This was a great story and I eagerly await the next one.
That was beautiful. Bravo!
(I really wish there was more I could say, but I'd just be a list of synonyms for 'good'
)
Very well done. Oddly sounds a lot like my relationship, too...
I enjoyed it, and it was my vote in the contest. I already gave my feedback on it elsewhere.
Just so you're aware, this hurt me on a personal level.
Like, the way their 'talk' started, was how my last relationship ended after 5 years.
Bravo, though, it was very well done. As if anyone was surprised.
3258675
Calling a finished bottle or can of beer 'an empty' is a colloquial phrase. One that I'd figure Dash would know/use, but also figured would probably not be known by everyone.
Heya Bats,
I can get kind of poetic in my comments when I like a story. I can sometimes go on for paragraphs about how it touched my heart, made me cry, hurt so good....
For some reason I have no poetry today, but I still wanted to let you know how much I appreciated this story. Thanks for sharing it, and for its underlying message of the effectiveness and joy of good communication.
Light and laughter,
SongCoyote
Good God, that punched me right in the gut.
Hrm... Y'know, this comes as a shock to me but I think I'm about to post a comment that's actually... critical?
I know, I know, I'm the nearly the squealingest fanboy you've got, but apparently I have my tendencies. Lemme just slap this on my favorites list where it does belong and then I'll start yammering.
This is good. I did enjoy it, but... I dunno, something seems off about it? The biggest stick-out thing for me is the last line in chapter one, the bit where Rainbow Dash promises not to fuck up and hurt Fluttershy. Honestly it's kind of a non-sequitur in context. Why did Dash make that statement? Did I miss something that elaborated on what might have prompted it? I can't see a bit where she'd had a prior romantic relationship that ended because of her screwing it up... So yeah, confused. What prompted that promise? It's a weird, weird thing to say to someone especially as a super inexperienced kid.
Aside from that... Hrm, this relationship feels a little weird as compared to the kind of things I'm used to reading from you. Maybe it's because it's more like actual human interaction than most stories I read. I wouldn't really know, as I have a wellspring of personal relationship experience to draw on that is just a barely measurable quantity above zero. Or maybe I'm wrong and it's just 'cuz it's not your usual fare and you weren't used to Dash and Shy? Hell, it might just be because I put Dash and Shy somewhere lower on the list of ships I enjoy. I'm not even sure.
But yeah. On an objective scale 1-10 I'd give this an 8. On the special, personalized, bats-only scale of stuff of yours I enjoy -- 10 being Spellbound Fireflies and 1 being the awful shit on this site that I actually downvote -- I'd probably toss it around 5 or 6.
Still, solid read.
Gorgeous. As a non-Flutterdasher, you got me to buy the ship (In the context of this one story, I'm still not crazy about it in general
), and the "wild animal" revelation was really great. You have concocted a wonderful story here, bats. 
Also, the imagery of the trees in the first chapter was excellent as well.
3258683 welp
you learn something new everyday 
great story as always bats
P.S. am i weird by finding funny the realization of Rainbow at the end? i mean the one when she compares herself to a wild animal, not the one about communication, that bit about communication is one of the universal truths of the world, at least i like to think it is
Hmm. There exists a great sea of ship-fics, and its waters are treacherous, indeed. Avoid sailing it, if possible, but if you must, be careful, and constantly vigilant.
Yeah, dude, bats, you're killing me. All of the feels. If there is a better way to write a Flutterdash conflict fic, it would be done by Rainbow dash or Fluttershy. It is truly magnificent, well written, and all around a awesome story.
Wow, that was great stuff. I feel like there's been a real lack of reasonably lengthed FlutterDash from the better romance authors in the fandom, and this finally fills that hole nicely. Anyways, it's worth noting that the end of this one feels oddly sad, particularly because there's nothing after it. Like, they're just saying there's this reason that they always break up, and now everything's perfect, except this could basically be what happens every time, and this return to romance could easily be just another point in the cycle rather than the end of it. The resolution is just very pat, which gives the impression that it's not a permanent fix. RD's thought process at the end is perfectly reasonable by my view, but that doesn't really stop the vague foreboding sense of tragedy on the horizon. Still, maybe having the ending be that way is a good thing, because it's all interesting and ambiguous.
There's so much FlutterDash out there, but there are so few people who are actually willing to take a real look at their relationship, friends or otherwise, and actually point out the inevitable problems they'd have. You hit on a lot of them, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy both's lack of communication skills being the big one. I don't know whether you really resolved any of those problems, but kudos for actually having them in attendance.
My only issue with this is that in fifteen years Dash never had this realization.
Other than that:
-FlutterDash is now shipped (of course).
-This story is great due to the very noticable realism that permeates it.
-TwiJack squees.
Having been satisfied wonderfully right here, I will now resume my petty hoping that the next fic you put out will be non-smut.
Nice story. I agree, talking about things is so important, my boyfriend and I would always try and hold it in until it explodes with a fight. So communication is very important, and the way you displayed it in Dash's mind made good sense. It really is the little things that kill. So little annoying habits can strain a relationship if the people aren't open. This story made me think of the first few years of our relationship, and just how hard, tiresome, and ridiculous it was for us to be like that, sad as it was. So hopefully their new tactic will help their relationship grow into a healthy one. Also, AJ's comment on getting Twilight was so cute.
3258796
Q:
A:
tinyurl.com/mbho6go
This was uncommonly good... you are a very talented writer (but I guess you already know that, what with 1,000+ subscribers and all :) )
I really enjoyed this story. It was sad and kinda depressing but in the end it was reallg happy cute. Good job and keep up the good work.
That intro with the painted door was a stroke of brilliance. You held my attention until the very end. Well done!
I promised I would start reading some of your stories.
Surprisingly I chose this one, maybe because of the title alone, or because it won a contest, I'm not sure.
All I know is that I haven't read much Flutterdash, but this really makes me question if I should read more.
Because I loved this from the start all the way to the very last line. In my own writing, as well as most of the stories I read, these are the types of elements I enjoy most. It wasn't much of a surprise to me that I liked this so much.
10/10 would read again
DJRD
This was amazingly well written I loved how the flashbacks were worked in and I'm so so so so so so so glad it had a happy ending! I love how you kept true to the character's personalities!
I feel like I need to write a letter to Princess Celestia about my new findings about love. Well, I can try!
Princess Celestia,
I learned that to be in a stable
relationship, you can't keep
secrets from your special
somepony. You have to be
honest, and not bottle up
your emotions.
Yours Truly;
Charles Belmont
There! That'll do!
But really, great story! I love that moral you put at the end, (if you couldn't tell already,) and nothing feels out of place. I applaud you, Mr. Bats. Bravo!
I miss clicked like four times trying to hit that damn first chapter title. Too small.
amazing
The first 2 chapters are amazing IMHO, but I found the conclusion/2nd half of the third really lacking, sorry :C You're obviously a very talented writer but it seemed like the reasons Rainbow and 'Shy don't work well together were very well fleshed out, the conflict scenes were beautiful and poetic... and then the final part where things are 'resolved' was just kinda... tacked on. You could probably have fleshed it out a bit more.
Honestly... I may be projecting here, but I kinda get the feeling you aren't really a big fan of Flutterdash, and it was probably very very easy to see the flaws, to write a turbulent romantic relationship that was clearly unhealthy for both ponies... and a little harder to write a satisfying reason those problems didn't matter, or how they could be overcome.
I hope this doesn't sound really rude, I enjoy your writing a lot! :)
8076586
got to agree with this one! this is beautifully written, i loved how each snippet of their lives played out and the continuity with canon, i adored how much thought went into the reasons for why they just don't work ...
so much so that i'd need at least another chapter to convince me they won't just keep repeating the cycle. they're to the point of being flat out toxic for each other, and one epiphany won't change that. they just lead far too incompatible lives, and their personalities clash too much. Rainbow shouldn't have to liken herself to a violent animal to rationalize why they work, because she isn't one. and Flutters shouldn't have to put the responsibility on herself to never do anything that bothers Rainbow when Rainbow is around - they should've decided to work together to find solutions to their problems.
it's not enough to just communicate what you feel or want - a long term relationship needs to work as a team, sharing ideas and working together to come up with solutions that make both partners happy. communication is a must for any relationship to work, it's true - but it's not a cure for just being bad for each other. unfortunately, you sold the ways they don't work so dang well, i just can't buy that they do!
wonderful story overall, 9/10, just wish it had been about the fact love and long talks just aren't enough sometimes, the way it seemed to be going at the start.
11133025
Glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate your kind words!
To be honest, in writing this story, I don't think the two are gonna make it work out in the end, either. I wrote it to end at a point of optimism for their relationship, somewhere at a place where they could make it with the necessary changes, but I don't think that they'd actually manage to make those changes. Some relationships are like that.