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NotARealPonydotcom
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Really well thought and good. The idea itself was a blast, dang now I wish thought of this.
3.bp.blogspot.com/-OqjG0VeMWtc/UC-YBJvB3-I/AAAAAAAAClQ/UJHrTvf4L2c/s1600/me+gusta+mucho.png
I kinda don't want to raise this point up with such a nice story, but I think that's it an issue that's been.....ignored in this story.
Simply put, what happens to the pony that's been replaced? It's not like they can just knock someone out for a few hours and take their place during that time. It would attract far to much attention and eventually security measures would be taken.
I know it's not a good topic for a nice story like this but I felt like Twilight would have raised it when Chrysalis had said that.
Anyway, this was fun and cute, and I liked the sweet little scene at the end.
Edit: I reread the story and realized something.
"For almost a decade now, our kingdom has been on the verge of collapse, for one very simple reason: there is no food for us here anymore. We have been starving for years, surviving off of the basic primal lusts of animals."
So do Changelings in your story replace ponies or not?
2959463
On the impersonation issue; I imagine that the changelings have a proper way of keeping captured ponies out of the way, so that they may impersonate them without any complications. My headcanon involves keeping them in a sort of stasis inside of a chrysalis.
On the animal feeding; animals usually can tell if another animal is ready to mate based on their smell. They give off pheromones when they're in their mating cycle. Changelings can feed off of these airborne pheromones, though it hardly satiates them enough to survive.
2960124
......That doesn't make sense to me. Pheromones are just chemicals produced to create an alluring smell so as to attract a mate. It's not an emotion, though I do think whatever emotions animals have in the pony universe would be heightened during that time so maybe that's what you meant?
Also, the whole stasis thing is still a very horrible thing. How would you feel if you were kidnapped for no reason other than being very loved and then lose years of your life? How would you feel if one day you were holding your baby and then what feels like the next day that baby is all grown up, raised by the being who did this to you?
I'm not saying forgiveness is impossible but Chrysalis apologizing to the wrong pony(s) here.
not bad, i really liked it though it ended too soon for my liking like what happens next? will it be easy or hard? and she was totally hitting on Twilight!
Good-quality fic about interactions between ponies and changelings! I like it!
Ermhagerd! Chernglerngs!
Git da bug spray!
This is the first attempt I've seen at trying to reform Chrysalis.
Excellent work.
That was cute. Not the first shot at reforming Chrysalis I've seen, just one of the better ones.
Starvation is a powerful incentive.
Is there a continuity that this story builds on?
Also, Crowning Moment of Heartwarming at the end there. =D
Great world building, and I really like your version of Chrysalis.
2963255 No, the author meens the comic series of MLP, which is NOT written by the staff making the cartoon. The comic is canon to the MLP universe but has no effect on the cartoon.
I don't like the comic personally, Chrysalis and the changelings are portrayed as evil being who only seek for their own good and want to conquer the world.
Criss ha salvato il suo popolo! Che bello
Write More
CONTINUE!!!!!! ^_^
Interesting premise, handled reasonably well, too. I think the whole think was kind of rushed, though
I do like that Chrysalis seems to feel honest remorse and truly want to change her ways, which is more than I can say for some "redemption" stories. I also definitely like the "second mind" thing regarding the theorized "hive mind".
Also, the wingeboner jokes were too blatant and felt both forced and unnecessary, especially Twilight's denials at attraction
Overall, pretty good. With some tidying up, it could be really good
2963426 ...They're not exactly benevolent in the cartoon, either
I really like this story! It was cute and passionate
Meh.
It was ok, if not a little strangely contrived, right up until you threw the word "wingboner" in there. It was jarring, broke immersion, and entirely superfluous to the narrative.
I would be interested in a followup (second chapter, sequel, whatever) that would address some of the details of *how* the Changelings are going to get what they need through peaceful relations with Equestria. Even for ponies, it's a little hard to imagine just marching a bunch of Changelings into town and asking that they be loved. I've seen other stories wherein they try things like having Changelings become counselors, nurses, or entertainers - jobs that they'd be well suited to and that can elicit love from the ponies they work with.
I would also imagine that the Equestrians would have some demands, some sort of disarmament protocol to ensure that the Changelings won't get up to their old shenannigans again.
Well, I enjoyed it. It gives us a nice look into the mentality of changelings and I do like how you made it so they were all individuals, rather than drones in a colony. There is a LOT more story here you could explore as well, down the line if you so chose. Plenty of comedy and drama to be had from the intergration of two societies into one.
If there was one thing that did kind of set me off guard, it was Chrysalis' demeanor, mostly towards the end with her acting like a little school filly. Even within context of the story, I had a hard time picturing it XD. Still good, just felt a little out of place. It almost seemed to me like we were looking at a much younger Chrysalis rather than one who had attempted to conquer Canterlot a while ago.
2963737 But it's still open for enough possibilities in the cartoon, the comic just makes her and her empire a 08/15 villiain... like Sombra...
2964308 I dunno about that, they were violent, hostile, and didn't care who they hurt, and that's not even getting into Chrysalis being such a Card-Carrying Villain
That was entertaining.
Great job.
ALL OF MY YES!!! THANK YOU! YOU MADE ME VERY HAPPY!!!
Ah, another who has entered that contest.
Nicely done here. ^^
now this just made me smile
thanks
i love it and can you make more stories like this one
that was cute, funny, and heartwarming.
2964304
Chrysalis' "bubbliness" at the end was brought on by her feeding off of Twilight. I imagine that after ten years of pretty much starving, I'd feel pretty good after a proper meal.
2960191
This is a first step. Without this there would be no other apologies. Instead of complaining about it, create the simulation of events in your head using as many details as you possibly, possibly can.
To be honest i felt bad for Chrysalis
This was warm, touching, cute. I'm not afraid to admit that Chrysalis' pain brought tears to my eyes
the thought of... well being in her position, to love so many and to feel them weaken and pass *shiver*
you wrote it very well, I'd say. bravo
2966526
Excuse me, but complaining would be me saying that he didn't this right or some other bullshit. I believe I did was doing something else thank you, as I never said or implied that the author did something wrong.
What I believed I was doing was attracting the attention of the author to what I thought was something important that he might be interested in so as to discuss it, whether or not it was an actual error on anyone's part was never raised by either side. The discussion after was about points and ideas raised by the author and also about other sides to the original issue. The parting comment about the apology was just me trying to express my thought that while Twi was a victim, she's not one the victims of the changelings.
And also.........god damnit I just ranted didn't I? Sorry about that.
TL,DR: I'm just a little tired of being the guy that feels like he should remind the people snuggling the cute changelings that despite how much he wants to as well, that changelings are kinda monsters by their known and reputed actions.
Brief but cute. Also I think Chrysalis might be a wee bit bipolar in this fic.
2966843
Yeah.
2966383
It's like feeding a feast to a starving person, she's high on love or whatever.
Stupid changeling queen, get a grip on yourself.
2966648
It's a story man, and the author is free to take license with details. Also, it is reasonable to think that ponies would generally perceive them as monsters given their natural appearance and their rather agressive and inconsiderate approach to feeding themselves. For the record, mosquitos aren't monsters, but none of us like them drinking our blood and on account of that tend to treat them with significant prejudice and extreme violence.
P.S.
Oh, and please write more. :)
This, all of this.
And a one, and a two, and a-
"Twilight has a cru~ush, Twilight has a cru~ush-
Something's bugging her in her heart
Something lovey dovey, lots of mush
The time for jokes, well, now it starts!
2966648
First off, you don't take that tone with me, bucko. You can't take me, so don't even try to get me into an argument. Secondly, cool your shit boy.
You were complaining. Don't ever gainsay me. I did not say it was a bad thing, I implied it was unnecessary. You're treading into headcanon waters since there's zero facts or canon implications, meaning anything and everything can be whatever someone thinks it is. We have no Word of God on the subject, either. You can be as plausible as you want, but you came off acting like you were trying to say your thoughts on the subject were foundation, which is where a lot of people make a mistake and think their headcanon IS canon.
If you didn't mean to sound like that, then I suggest reading your posts back to yourself after ten minutes of not looking at them, out loud - to try and get an idea of what someone else might think of you when you post it. It's very important to maintain an easily-communicated image through text, otherwise you just have walls and walls of miscommunication and that doesn't get anyone anywhere.
Did you take things the wrong way? Assuredly. I was trying to save you a futile and utterly meaningless struggle because sometimes I feel nice when I see people who looked just like I did when I first started out (The NLR 'tards who honestly believe canon Celestia to be evil, the Nightmare Moon worshippers who say she wasn't a genocidal monster even though it's confirmed canon that she was...). Then sometimes they snap at me for helping them, don't take the warning to stop, and I wreck them. Could it possibly have been communicated better on my part? Maybe... I'm not perfect, but looking over my post there were no offensive tones, insults, or directed obscene language that might add to an illusion of hostility towards you.
Just stepped in to try and help you out, so relax, and take both of my posts' advice. It's the only thing that'll save your sanity.
2964341
Well, like it was stated in an earlier comment:
2967415
Okay.....you do have a point. My comments weren't really what I intended them to be and going into those kind of discussions can be difficult if it degenerates into an argument but that does not mean we can't. I enjoy listening to other people ideas on these kind of things. Though I guess the comment section of a story isn't exactly the best place.
Sorry for the overreaction but at the time your comment just somehow struck me as telling me to 'shut up and read the story' at a point where the discussion was already dead. So yeah, sorry again for that and pretty much everything else, didn't mean to piss people off.
really nice story. I've always seen her as a motherly figure too whom would do anything for her hive. that part where she told twilight about one of the changelings that brought her the seat had died of starvation was pretty powerful. to see him that close to death not showing it to others and with in minutes (or hours) passing away was a good touch to prove how dire the situation was to twilight.
and that bubbly chrysalis is adorable I don't know if she was drunk off love or champagne or both but that ending was cute and giggly.
It was pretty good. I would've liked a follow up, like a few weeks later in Canterlot or Celestia's reaction, but again, Great story.
Chrysalight, huh. Do write a follow-up on this, please :3
2968033
Everybody makes mistakes. It's alright.
Well it's fast given it's flash fiction, but you wrapped it up well and was consistent with characterization.
2964341
Ever see a pack of starving dogs and how they are? Really not much difference in the two.
2968955>>2967761
Yet they had enough self control to work in formation and merely capture the Main Six instead of feasting on them on the spot
The starvation is in THIS story, which takes place a long time after the Wedding episode. Chrysalis had time to grow desperate.
This is fantastic! I wish there was more!!