Only Go Forward
To Love Being Loved
Something empathetic, heartwarming, and very cute at the end
by NotARealPonydotcom
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There was a knock at the door. Chrysalis leaned forward in her seat, squinting at the entrance to her throne room. She dispelled any doubts that were still clouding her mind, cleared her throat, and announced, in her most regal voice: "Enter."
The doors opened silently. On the other side of them was a lavender alicorn. Atop her head was a magnificent golden crown, and around her neck was an equally magnificent golden necklace. Or perhaps it was a golden band. Chrysalis wasn't very sure; she'd never bothered to learn exactly what the regalia Equestrian princesses wore was.
The alicorn stepped into the throne room of the Changeling Queen. She kept her violet eyes fixated on said queen as she moved further into the room and closer to her. Chrysalis smiled at her, and the genuine niceness conveyed by the gesture visibly startled the alicorn. She'd never seen Chrysalis smile that way; a smile from her was always malicious, or dripping with poison, or any of the usual villainous dreck she'd gotten so used to over the years. She responded with her own smile, one that was, admittedly, a little more forced than Chrysalis' seemed to be. She stopped, now directly in front of the throne of the Queen, and the two of them waited for the other to speak. Finally, when it seemed that the silence had gone on long enough, Chrysalis broke it.
"Welcome, Twilight Sparkle," she said enthusiastically. "I hope that you had no trouble finding my palace."
"Uh, no," Twilight replied. "I remembered where it was, from, uh... last time."
Chrysalis didn't seem to recognize Twilight's discomfort at mentioning the last time she'd been in the Changeling Queen's palace. Perhaps it had something to do with their duel from said previous visit, or the fact that Chrysalis had kidnapped Twilight's friends and their siblings. Realizing that this was most likely the case, the Queen giggled, making Twilight even more uncomfortable.
"Oh, of course!" she said. "Please accept my sincerest apologies for that little incident. I was..." She waved her hole-filled hoof dismissively in the air. "...desperate."
Twilight shuffled her hooves and began to respond, but Chrysalis interrupted her with a sudden gasp.
"Oh dear!" she cried, bringing her hooves to her cheeks. "You don't have any place to sit! How rude of me, to have you come to discuss diplomatic relations and not provide you with a seat! Here!" She clapped her hooves twice and, in the same regal voice she'd used earlier, called, "Hex! Cimex!"
Two identical changelings entered the throne room from a smaller door that was situated to the side of the throne. They carried a large, comfortable-looking couch in their hooves. The two buzzed over to where Twilight was standing and set the couch down in front of her, facing it towards their Queen. They bowed to Chrysalis, who thanked them kindly and dismissed them. Twilight approached the couch cautiously, surprised by how luxurious it looked compared to anything else in the castle. When Chrysalis saw how hesitant Twilight was to sit on the couch, she guessed aloud, "Thinking it's a trap, are we?"
Twilight looked up at Chrysalis and blushed again. "Uh, no, I was just—"
The large changeling interrupted her with another giggle. "Don't worry, Twilight Sparkle. If I were to have set a trap, I wouldn't have used a couch as pricey as that one." She laughed. Noticing that Twilight was less than amused at her joke, her laughter faded quickly, along with her smile. The changeling grimaced slightly, as though she had just experienced a slight headache. "My apologies," she muttered, shaking her head clear of whatever had troubled it. "Perhaps it's a bit too early for me to joke with you. I'm still rather new at this whole 'friendly relations' business."
Twilight looked back at the couch again. Choosing to take precautionary measures, she cast a spell that would detect if there was anything about the couch that would pose a threat to her well-being. Chrysalis watched and sighed quietly to herself as the alicorn finished the spell and, finding nothing wrong with the couch, sat down in the seat she'd been offered.
"Thank you," Twilight said when she was comfortably seated. "Now, as to why I'm here—"
She was interrupted once more by the Changeling Queen; Chrysalis clapped her hooves again, and this time called the name Cydia. From the same door next to the throne came another changeling, this one noticeably different from the other two. Its eyes were a light shade of violet, instead of the crystal blue that most changelings Twilight had seen had. The shape of it's body was different as well, and it was this information, combined with the fact that the changeling had what seemed to be mascara on, that made Twilight realize that this was a female changeling. In the changeling's hoof was a platter with a bouquet of half-dead flowers on it. Twilight was handed the plate by the one called Cydia, and she politely took it with her magic. The changeling bowed to Chrysalis like the other two, but this time Chrysalis responded differently: she blew the female a kiss. There was a momentary pause before Cydia sighed and smacked her lips, as though she'd taken a long drink of something delectable. She flew back towards the door, and Chrysalis stroked her head lovingly as she passed by. The Changeling Queen watched Cydia close the door, and turned back to Twilight, who was eyeing her strangely.
"It is customary for a host to offer food to their guests when they have company, is it not?" Chrysalis asked, nodding to the platter still held in Twilight's magical grip. The lavender mare glanced at the wilted flowers on the plate briefly, and wondered where they'd been grown; the lands surrounding the Changeling Castle weren't exactly the most fertile.
As though she had read Twilight's mind, Chrysalis said, "I know, it isn't very well grown, but as my changelings don't need to use them as sustenance, the quality of vegetation in my kingdom isn't usually my top priority." She paused, then added, "That was another joke, by the way."
"I get it," Twilight said, setting the plate down. "I'm not hungry, anyway. I'd just like to—"
For the third time, she was interrupted. Chrysalis leaned forward in her seat and said, "Then perhaps you'd like something to drink? We do have an excellent variety of wines; they're all gifts we've gotten from ponies whom we've tricked into falling in love with us. Or, if you're feeling a little achy from your trip, I could call Cydia back in. She gives a fantastic massage; Goddess knows she's helped me through some of my more stressful periods as queen. And if that doesn't interest you, then perhaps..." She trailed off; Twilight had on an annoyed and impatient look that only grew more annoyed and more impatient as the Changeling Queen babbled on, and it had finally quieted Chrysalis enough for Twilight to speak.
"No, thank you." Twilight's horn glowed, and a rolled-up scroll materialized in front of her. "I'd just like to discuss this, if that's alright with you."
Chrysalis swallowed hard, nodded, and said, "Of course." She leaned back in her throne and grimaced again. Bringing a hoof to her forehead, she took a deep breath and asked, in a slightly pained voice, "Where shall we start?"
Twilight began to unroll the scroll and said, "How about you start by explaining this?" She nodded to the scroll, which had fully unrolled to reveal a message scribbled in grayish-black ink.
Chrysalis lowered her hoof slowly, staring blankly at the page. "I—I don't understand."
Twilight sighed, and moved the letter in front of her. "Let's see..." she mumbled, looking the paper up and down. "How about I read it to you? Then maybe you'll understand what I'm asking you." She cleared her throat, and read aloud:
"To Princess Celestia of Equestria:
I request an audience with you, regarding the position of my kingdom and its changelings in Equestria. I invite you to come to my castle to discuss diplomatic relations between our two sovereignties. I assure you that this is not a trap, and that I have no intention to harm you or your diplomats in any way. Please come quickly.
–Queen Chrysalis of the Changeling Kingdom"
Twilight set the letter down next to the plate of dying flowers and gave Chrysalis an expectant look. The Changeling Queen stared back, thinking hard. Finally, she shrugged and said, "I don't understand what I should have to explain. I was very clear in my letter."
"You were exactly the opposite of clear," Twilight said loudly. "You said you wanted to discuss the position of your kingdom in ours, when your kingdom has no position in ours. As far as Equestria is concerned, your kingdom isn't actually a kingdom."
Chrysalis was taken aback. "Not actually a kingdom? Nonsense! My kingdom is as much a sovereignty as Equestria, and that's exactly the issue I wish to discuss today." She raised an eyebrow at Twilight. "And, no offense to you, Twilight Sparkle, but I seem to recall my letter being a request for the Princess to visit me. Not her student."
"I'm not just her student anymore," Twilight said. She fluttered her wings and tapped on her crown. "I got promoted."
Chrysalis smiled. "Congratulations!" she said, her previous enthusiasm having somehow returned. "I'm sure that Celestia has made a wise choice, making you a princess. We should celebrate, perhaps over a glass of wine or some—"
"No, thank you," Twilight said again, in a more forceful tone. She closed her eyes and rubbed a hoof against the bridge of her snout before continuing: "I appreciate the thanks, but we're getting off topic here. I want you to explain to me what you meant when you said 'discuss diplomatic relations' in your letter."
"What is there to explain?" Chrysalis said incredulously. "I want to speak with an Equestrian diplomat about where we stand on my kingdom and its relationship with Equestria!"
"Relationship—" Twilight sputtered. "You're our enemy! The changelings are officially listed as a threat to Equestrian society! How could you not expect that to be the case?"
"That's what I'd like to change, though!" Chrysalis shouted excitedly. "I want to achieve a peaceful relationship with Equestria, one where we can integrate my changelings into it safely!"
Twilight tried to respond, but she found that she was too shocked by what Chrysalis had just suggested to do anything more than keep her mouth open and her hoof up in a gesture of rebuttal. She simply stared at the grinning Changeling Queen, and it took a minute for her to regain her composure and speak again.
"You want us," she began, "Equestrians, the citizens of a kingdom that came under attack from your entire race eight years ago, to not only forgive you for the damages you caused to the city you almost destroyed and the suffering you caused to the pony whose loved one you impersonated to cause said destruction, who is, by the way, another diplomat of Equestria and my brother, but to accept blindly that you promise not to harm us any more and integrate your citizens, who all look pretty much identical, in case you hadn't notice, into Equestrian society." She said all of this slowly, staring Chrysalis dead in the eye as she did. "That's what you're asking for?"
"Well," Chrysalis said after a moment of pondering, "I would definitely agree to sign a treaty of some sort, to get this whole thing on record..."
"You're out of your mind."
"No, Twilight Sparkle; I am out of options." Chrysalis smiled again, though this smile seemed a tad bit sadder than the others.
"You must be, if you're trying this." Twilight stared at the letter again, her eyes wide with disbelief. "What makes you think that I, or Celestia, or anypony would agree to make peace with you, after you basically attempted to take over our capitol city?"
Chrysalis didn't answer immediately; she took her time, forming the words in her mind before speaking them aloud. When she did recite them, it was in a strangely calm voice: "Well, firstly, you are sitting here right now, discussing this topic with me. That alone tells me that you believe my claim, that I wish to seek peace with you." Her smile shrank slightly. "And if that isn't enough of a reason, I can give you a more severe one: I don't believe that you would let a civilization die at your hooves." She tilted her head to the side. "Would you?"
Twilight dropped the letter and stared up at the Changeling Queen. Chrysalis grimaced once more, and this time the grimace was accompanied by a groan. She leaned back in her seat, gritting her teeth and squeezing her eyes shut. Her grimace slowly became a sad frown, and it conveyed a sort of sorrow that Twilight could feel from her spot on the couch. She made to say something, but before she could utter a word, the door to the side of the throne opened, and Cydia, the server changeling from earlier, poked her head out.
"My Queen," she said, in a voice that wasn't nearly as insect-like as the voices of the changeling guards Twilight had met before, "I felt your discomfort from the kitchens. Is something wrong?" She glanced at Twilight, and then at the uneaten flowers on the plate. Her eyes narrowed. "Is our guest being... less than hospitable?"
Chrysalis waved a hoof at Cydia. "No no, my dear, everything's fine. I'm just debating with Princess Sparkle here on whether or not we'll have to leave our homeland."
Cydia kept her eyes on Twilight. "I see..." she said, not bothering to move. "Is there anything I can get you? Some wine, perhaps?" She was asking Twilight.
"Um, no. Thank you, though." The lavender alicorn turned her gaze from the female changeling and fixated it on the spot of ground directly in front of Chrysalis' throne.
"Thank you, Cydia," Chrysalis said. "That will be all."
"Yes, my Queen." Cydia bowed again, and said, "Just Call if you need me," before turning to leave. Before closing the door, however, she turned back to her queen and added, "My Queen, Hex—"
Chrysalis held up a hoof to stop her, and she quickly interjected: "Yes, I know. Please bring him up to my chambers."
"Your chambers, my Queen? Not the—"
"Now, please," Chrysalis ordered, looking at Cydia with large eyes. The purple-eyed changeling nodded, and left without another word.
Chrysalis stared at the door for a minute. Without taking her eyes from it, she asked Twilight, "Do you understand what just happened?"
Twilight looked up from the spot on the ground. "I'm sorry?"
Chrysalis turned her head from the door to Twilight. "Do you know why Cydia came into the room just now?"
Twilight thought for a moment. The answer gradually came to her, and her reply was just as slow: "That was... That was the hive mind, wasn't it?"
Chrysalis nodded. "I've read your civilization's notes on our kind, and I must say, your theories on the hive mind are rather exaggerated. My subjects are not mindless drones, as you made them out to be. Each of my children are independent, self-sustained beings that think, act, and feel for themselves."
The Changeling Queen slid off of her throne and strolled over to a nearby window. "However," she continued, "there exists a second mind within each and every one of us. This is our hive mind, and it exists as the ultimate way to bring us together as a kingdom. All changelings in my kingdom are connected to one another through this link, and we all are capable of feeling when one of our kind is in danger, or in need of assistance, or in good spirits. The lesser changelings, my children, have had the sensitivity of their hive minds dulled over the years; they connect only with those they are closest to: friends, family, loved ones. I, however..." She trailed off again.
Twilight understood in a second. "You feel all of them, don't you?"
Chrysalis nodded, and slowly turned to face Twilight. "There's a reason I call them my children. I can feel their happiness, their pain, their laughter and their tears. I can feel each and every one of their lives, and as long as I am Queen, I can feel each and every one of their deaths." She trotted towards her throne. "For almost a decade now, our kingdom has been on the verge of collapse, for one very simple reason: there is no food for us here anymore. We have been starving for years, surviving off of the basic primal lusts of animals."
"What about your hive mind?" Twilight asked. "If you're all connected, can't you survive off of your love for one another?"
Chrysalis smiled sadly. "A very clever idea, but a pointless one. Changelings cannot properly survive off of their own love for each other; it is an act that is very similar to cannibalism. Feeding off our own love poisons us slowly, just as a pony is poisoned when he eats the flesh of another pony. We need the love of another creature to survive."
"Doesn't your feeding sap the love out of the pony?"
The changeling sat in her throne once more and said, "You make us out to be parasites, Twilight Sparkle. You are wrong. We feed off of the love a pony has for a significant other by impersonating that significant other. Their love is given, not taken. However, we do not tend to attract much love the way we are, and, with our recent failures, we have reached a point where I am willing to do anything to save my changelings. I cannot stand to feel any more of them die."
Twilight said nothing for a moment. She rubbed her chin, and after a pause summarized, "Your kingdom is dying, and you can feel it."
Chrysalis nodded, and in a deadpan tone said, "Since you and I began talking, three of my subjects have starved to death. One of them was one of the changelings that brought in the couch you are sitting on."
Twilight blanched and looked down at the couch cushion beneath her flank. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it; she had nothing to say.
"I understand that you are skeptical about trusting me," Chrysalis continued, "but I have nowhere else to turn to. What I said at your brother's wedding all those years ago was no lie: Equestria has more love than any other place I have ever seen. In the time I spent impersonating Mi Amore Cadenza, I met some of the most kind, generous, honest, loyal, humorous, and magical ponies I've ever known. Everywhere I went, I felt that I was loved in some way. I want to give that to my children."
Twilight rubbed her forehead; now she felt like she was getting a headache. "What you said to your servant, Cydia; is there someplace else you can go, where you can have a fresh start?"
"No," Chrysalis replied. "That was a lie, crafted as a way to reassure my children that, no matter what, we would survive this famine."
"You lied to them?"
"What would you have done!?" Chrysalis yelled. She had suddenly become furious; her horn sizzled with venomous green magic, and her insect-like wings buzzed angrily as she stood up from her throne. "Would you have told your subjects, your children, that you might not be able to save them from extinction!? Would you be able to tell them, looking them dead in the eye, that they were all doomed to starve to death if you did not succeed!? TELL ME!!!"
Twilight was stunned. She watched Chrysalis seethe with anger, and after some consideration she found she could imagine exactly what Chrysalis had described. In fact, it was a nightmare she'd had for many nights after her first encounter with Discord; she had been unable to defeat him, even with her friends re–harmonized and by her side. It always played out the same way: she would fail, and it would be her fault, and she would always have to turn to her friends and tell them that they were doomed because of her, and nopony else. With a lurch of her gut, Twilight realized that she would not be able to do what Chrysalis had asked.
Chrysalis suddenly snarled and screamed, "NO!" before falling into her seat. Her hooves rushed to cover her eyes, and her body shook momentarily with what Twilight could see were sobs. It took her only a second to realize what had just happened: another changeling had just died. Twilight got off of the couch and approached the Changeling Queen, stretching out a hoof to comfort her. She stopped short, though, when Chrysalis' sobs abated. She pulled her hooves from her face to reveal a surprisingly calm expression, though her eyes were still watery. She looked down at the lavender alicorn with a pleading expression that was accented by the markings of tears around her vivid green eyes.
"I have done," she began in a watery, choking voice, "many, many terrible things to provide for my children. I would do many, many more terrible things, if it would save them. But I can see that that is no longer an option; committing atrocities like what I did at Canterlot has only caused them more pain. Now, I am begging you: save them. Save my children, give them your love and your forgiveness, and if you must, punish me for what I've done. Only me; not them. Please." She leaned back and rested her head on the back of the chair. Staring up at the ceiling, she muttered, "Please. I just want them to be okay. Don't let them die..." She shut her eyes and tried to hold back more sobs, failing only slightly. "Please—"
"Okay."
Chrysalis opened her eyes, but did not move her head. "O-Okay?" she echoed, still staring at the ceiling.
"Okay," Twilight repeated. Chrysalis looked down at Twilight and saw that the alicorn was smiling warmly at her. "If you really do plan to turn over a new leaf, for the sake of your kingdom, then I'll help you. I've learned a lot about ponies in my life, and one of the most important things I've learned is that everypony deserves a second chance, no matter what." Her smile faded a little as she continued: "However, if you abuse this second chance and try and take over Canterlot again, I will not hesitate to—"
She couldn't finish her threat: she was tackled to the floor by an ecstatic Chrysalis, who pulled her into a hug. Twilight struggled in the Changeling Queen's grip to no avail. The air was crushed out of her lungs as Chrysalis buried her muzzle into Twilight's shoulder, where she began laughing with joy.
"Thank you," she whispered, letting a tear drip into the alicorn's coat. "Thank you so much."
Twilight heard this, and she stop pushing Chrysalis away. Instead, she adjusted herself so that she could once again breathe, and then she returned Chrysalis' hug. Her forelegs wrapped around the changeling's neck, and she followed Chrysalis' lead and laid her head in the groove of Chrysalis' shoulder. She smiled, and whispered back, "You're welcome."
A moment later, Twilight felt something warm drifting across her skin. Her eyes, which had shut when she'd rested her head against Chrysalis, opened slightly. Then they opened wide. Something akin to her magical aura was radiating from her skin, coming off in steam-like puffs. It was magenta, the same shade as her magic, and it drifted from her body to Chrysalis', where it sank down into the changeling's skin. It was only when Chrysalis sighed into Twilight's shoulder that she realized what was happening: Chrysalis was feeding.
At that moment, the door beside the throne opened again, and Cydia came charging into the room.
"My Queen!" she shouted. "I felt your pain, and I have come to rescue you from that villainous pony who would not eat my meal—" She stopped when she saw her queen embracing Twilight, and her jaw dropped when she noticed the misty substance absorbing into Chrysalis' skin. Twilight, realizing exactly what the scene must have looked like, pushed Chrysalis away; this time, the Changeling Queen allowed herself to be removed from around the alicorn. Chrysalis turned to Cydia and smiled dreamily.
"M-My Queen?"
"Hello, Cydia," Chrysalis sighed, wiping a happy tear from her eye. "I've just had the most lovely meal." The Changeling Queen seemed to be completely ignorant of Twilight's immense blush, which she was trying to hide with her wings, an act that only made her look sillier.
"Y-Yes, my Queen, I noticed." Cydia stared at the flustered alicorn beside her ruler, and said, "Are you alright? I felt—"
"Oh, Cydia, I'm fine!" Chrysalis said, giggling again. "In fact, I'm much, much more than fine! I'm ecstatic, fantastic, marvelous, and elated, all at once!" She trotted over to the couch that Twilight had sat on and stretched out on it.
Cydia looked away from Twilight, who had gotten some control over her blush and was now working on getting her wings to settle down, and asked, "You're certain there's nothing I can assist you with?"
"Actually, yes!" Chrysalis chirped. "Can you get us a celebratory bottle of wine? Ooh, or champagne!" She giggled, and squirmed a bit on the couch. "I simply love the bubbles in champagne!"
Cydia tilted her head, amazed by her queen's new, excitable behavior. She glanced once more at Twilight, who was passing her obvious wingboner off as an attempt at preening her feathers, said, "Of course, my Queen," and left, questioning whether or not what she had just seen was real.
Chrysalis looked over at Twilight, who was still "preening" herself. She giggled again and said, "I would apologize for causing that, but, as I told you before, I don't take love; I can only be given it."
Twilight's blush returned, and her wings twitched erratically. "I don't— That wasn't— I'm not gay!" she finally shouted, making Chrysalis burst into a new bout of giggles.
"Of course not, Twilight Sparkle." Chrysalis rolled over on the couch, so that she was on her stomach. "But love is love, and that's what you gave me just now."
Cydia came back into the throne room with two other changelings. One held a table, the other a bucket of ice. Cydia held a bottle of champagne and two glasses. The three changelings set the table up in front of their queen and popped the cork off the champagne bottle. Pouring the two diplomats a glass, Cydia bid them farewell and vanished with the other two changelings behind the door once more.
Chrysalis held her glass up and announced, "To the future of the changeling race, and the hope that they can be of some help to the citizens of Equestria."
Twilight, after some hesitation and another attempt at forcing her wingboner down, joined her in the toast, adding, "And here's to forgiveness, and the promise of new friendships!"
The two clinked glasses and drank. The champagne was fruity and crisp.
"I was wondering," Twilight said, after her first glass was finished. "Why did you keep offering me wine before? I know you were trying to be polite and all, but it seemed like the flowers were enough, didn't it?"
Chrysalis, in mid-drink, sputtered and spat champagne. Twilight tilted her head and raised an eyebrow as Chrysalis fell into another short fit of giggles. The Changeling Queen set her glass down on the table and leaned back into the couch cushions, still giggling. Finally, she settled down enough to speak, and Twilight noticed that she was blushing slightly.
"I'm afraid," Chrysalis giggled, "that you weren't completely wrong when you said that this might have been a trap: my original plan, should negotiations fail, was to get you drunk, so that you would agree to sign a treaty with me right away!" With that, she fell victim to her giggle fit, and bawled laughter into a pillow while Twilight stared into her champagne glass. The lavender mare slowly set the glass down and took a step away from the table, keeping one eye on the bubbly Changeling Queen.
"Still a little too early to be telling jokes, Chrysalis," she muttered. And yet, when she turned away from the laughing changeling, she was smiling.
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The End