• Member Since 12th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 15th, 2017

NotARealPonydotcom


"I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens." —Woody Allen

E

On a warm, rainy afternoon, two young ponies take shelter in a gazebo. One is hoping to find a job at a bakery nearby, and just wants the rain to go away so she can make it to her interview. The other isn't really a pony, and just wants the rain to go away so he isn't caught.

Life tends to work that way, I suppose.

——————
Written for the Outside Insight Fanfiction Contest.
Featured 8-10-14!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 92 )

The gazebo continued to sleep, contented. Much as changelings feed on love, gazebos derive nourishment from being occupied.

Wonderful story. The grammar and spelling were flawless, and the pacing was well done. The introspection of how rain often meant misfortune was well contrasted with how it didn't in this case. Key Lime was an interesting OC, as was Clip and his injury. The communication between the two was nice, the little changeling backstory and the hints of Chrysalis making a treaty. Very wonderful story, have a like.

I admit, I was not expecting the gazebo to let them leave peacefully. Overall I liked it. Twas nice and fluffy! Now, much like Clip, I GOTTA EAT SOMETHING! *zooms off to the store*

Stop. Sequel time! and you watch how I met your mother? God I love that show I can't wait for the 9th season on Netflix. Also

AMAZING STORY!!!!!!!

"Well, for one thing, when my group first came to this town, one of its residents prepared a town-wide celebration, simply because we'd arrived here safely!"

Well hi there, Pinkie :rainbowlaugh:

I always love coming up with them, since there are so many personality traits to work with.

Yep. That's why I mostly stick to OCs. You can just shape them, early history to present, with their own traits, faults and overall behaviour.

OC stories are severely underrated, and their reputation is thoroughly besmirched by those ridiculous self-inserts. Rise above Sturgeon's Law! Be the 10%! :pinkiehappy:

This was lovely. Thank you for writing this :twilightsmile:

P.S. Pulp Fiction is awesome. And so is Guardians of the Galaxy :pinkiehappy:

This was really good and written well! The characters were developed and interesting too:heart:

I usually stay away from OC stories, but this was a rather lovely little story. Have a thumbs up.

A well put together story, shows that Changelings aren't so bad at all. :twilightsmile:

Somechangeling and anychangeling are incredibly terrible constructions; I'd just use "someone" and "anyone" in their place.

On the whole, I didn't feel like this really spoke that strongly to the central theme of the contest; while there was some mention of the differences, it wasn't that strong. And the whole "kiss at the end" thing felt kind of... exaggerated? I dunno, it didn't really feel earned to me. We didn't really see the contrast between the changelings and the ponies all that much, and the changeling idea of a party is simply omitted, meaning we have no idea what he thinks a party is supposed to be, which really means that we don't get much of a contrast. We're told that things are strange to him, but we're not shown how, and as a result, I don't really come to believe it.

Loved the story and the characters. I also thought that the contest would let us vote for which story we liked the best. I was ready to vote for your story with this account as well as my 27 others.

I'm not exactly a master editor, but I couldn't find any errors in your writing. The conversations flowed naturally, and I was particularly impressed with your physical character descriptions. It can be all too easy to neglect adding a little individuality to the often cut-and-pasted nature of our pastel pony designs, but you managed it effortlessly while also keeping it from sounding too forced. That last bit is a problem I have to work on personally, so I feel I've learned something from seeing your methods in action. If I had any criticisms to give, it would be that I'm not an advocate of love at first sight, so the ending of the narrative soured a bit for me. I can appreciate your purpose in pointing out the importance of the contrast between affection and love, but for me personally it made the character progression feel rushed. However, that is my own opinion and I'm certain others are not quite so jaded.

An excellent story and worthy of all the upvotes I can give. Thanks for writing,

-Hack

She was part of the great alicorn clan that traveled the world in the times before even Discord existed, the daughter of the clan's leader, whom you ponies know as Faust.

This sentence is kinda weird. I'd advise adding an "and" before "the daughter of the clan's leader".

Thumbs up and fav to you, Mister Author.

4830066

Did I mention I don't like gazebo's

A gazebo?! :pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::twilightoops:

Roll for initiative.

Wow, this was a really good read. Now I'm not as sure about my own entry in the Outside Insight Contest... :twilightblush:

Best of luck to you; I hope you get a good placing!

EDIT: After the contest is over, you should totally continue this. I would love to see more.

4830298 Is that a Munchkin/D&D reference I smell?
:moustache::moustache::moustache:

Hehe. Was listening to this when I finished the story.

4830548 Take two more moustaches.
:moustache::moustache:

Lovely, just lovely.

4830721 Don't you challenge me, sir.
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

This story needs more love (har har pun). Very well written.

4829446 Lol funny how you mention Guardians of the Galaxy. At the time I am typing this, I had literally just saw it. :rainbowlaugh:

It was awesome. :rainbowkiss::pinkiehappy::raritystarry:

"Oh, it's so beautiful," she breathed.

The last time I heard someone in real life say this, my professor had found rust fungus. Good times, good times. :twilightsmile:

4830973
S-so many...
:pinkiegasp::pinkiesad2:
There is nothing I can do in face of such outstanding moustaches. I admit defeat.

Ok, I'm not disagreeing with you, but why mention that Pulp Fiction is a great movie?

Also, liked the story. Bravo.

I like the "that's how I met your mother" ending, because in this context it's just adorable :pinkiehappy::heart:

Then again, this story is adorable overall, good job!

Dear Merciful Faust, let there be a sequel!

This was just like Life is a Lemon. It features an OC, but such an amazingly well-done OC that actually feels like they belong. Like you would see them trot around the corner in the show, not paying attention to the camera, because they've got their own thing to do.

That was, quite simply, wondrously gorgeous, and even if there is no official sequel written, I shall surely create sequels in my head.

That was a beautiful story. Thank you for occupying 11 minutes of my life with this wonderful little treasure. Yes pulp fiction is awesome... as for guardians of the galaxy... that is too. As for the other comments talking about a sequel or continuation I won't lie... this has the potential for it. It could in fact be something great. Though you may want to change a couple things instead of anychangeling try anybuggy. It rolls off the tongue better and sounds more like anybody or anypony. (See what i did there?) Yay puns and sleep deprivation!! And remember that this came to you from your friendly neighborhood critic who wants everyone to excel to the best of their ability. Good luck with your contest! May the force be with you! Don't kick a fresh turd on a hot day! Drugs are bad! Now I'm just being weird...

Considering the Gazebo's tendency to be a chaotic evil entity, I was surprised at how lax it was at the events that transpired in its presence. Those two have no idea how lucky they are.

Willpower is not a liquid. It is a solid, get it right. :twilightsmile:

4831088
Eh? Me? Didn't you read the author's notes? NotARealPonydotcom mentioned it first:rainbowhuh:

4832162
"anybuggy"? No, that just sound utterly silly. I've heard "someling"/"everyling"/"anyling" used in stories, and it sounds loads better.

I can't say I'm a big fan of romance fics, but I certainly loved this one. I guess it might be the combination of Changelings (which I adore), and a nice, if quirky mare, who I couldn't help but like. It's not often I say this about romances, but I'd like to see a sequel! Excellently done! :pinkiesmile:

4832520 to each his own said the old lady as she kissed the cow.

Clip was an interesting character. It's such a shame that Key Lime wasn't. All she was was a construct designed to be the perfect mare for Clip. She had no conflicts, no motivations, no personality that wasn't custom-made to bring Clip out of his carapace--no wonder she's named Key. She's the Manic Pixie Dream Girl at its most empty. It's a pity, as the writing suggests that the author is capable of much more.

4832520

I can imagine the Cutie Mark Crusaders saying anybuggy to a changeling, much to the changelings' horror.

4833019 "Anywhat? What the heck did you just say?":rainbowlaugh:

"Oh, please! I'm not a baby, Clip. I can handle looking at a changeling. Now drop it."

And then, suddenly, Vinyl Scratch out of bucking nowhere, blasting sickest beats the planet had heard!

10/10 Story! No, I'm dead serious!

Awwww...)

A great story. Nearly perfect (in my opinion) except for two things that I noticed.

"Well, first, you're name is Clip. That's not a very 'pony' name."

It should be "your" not "you're."

"Not on it's own, no.

Its, not "it's."

Beautiful story.

I'll do it for you, m8.
"And that, kids, is how I met your mother."

Amazing story! I never get tired of reading about changelings, especially when they find love. 5 out of 5 for not ending with Ted Mosby's line.

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