Golden Delicious has always known his friend Starburst as a mare who enjoys pushing herself beyond her limits. For years, she's worked herself to exhaustion on her visits to Sweet Apple Acres, and for years, he's tolerated it with a smile. What used to be incidents that scared him half to death are now a part of his routine: he and Starburst will work, Starburst will faint from exhaustion, he'll carry her back to the farmhouse, he'll tell her the dangers of overexerting herself, and she'll kindly dismiss his advice and just do it all over again. It's a tiring and endless circle, but he's more than happy to go through it again and again, always being there to take care of her when she's "burnt out."
He's just not sure why.
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Featured 7-11-14! Thanks, guys!
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Pre-read by (who else?) Kilala
MLP: FiM © Hasbro/Lauren Faust
Cover Art and the characters Golden Delicious and Starburst © kilala97 of DeviantArt
Brilliant first chapter, I must say.
Incredible! Simply incredible! Here, enjoy some Yays and some mustaches.
Beautiful, I've always wondered about these characters. Loved this chapter.
Oh wow, my favorite genre and the next generation ponies equals YES!
This is just amazing.
AJ IS kind of hard to write. Her personality is very passive, so she's kind of relegated to being a foil 9/10 times. Still, she came off solid here. Nice work!
As usual, I absolutely adore your work in this universe. It was short and sweet, and I liked seeing Starburst finally relent. That mare is stubborn as a mule.
I think it is just the logical progression of her mother's OCD/neurotic tendencies. Thanks again for writing this, it was an absolute pleasure to read!
-Lumino
I like this story. Great job with it. I wish there was a more actual story with Del and Star getting together. That would be nice.
God damn it, Applejack!
Great story, though I would had loved to see Del and Star kissed. DelxStar is my alternative to StarburstxStarfall and DelxCreme.
The writing is pretty solid and you've done well in breathing life to these characters.
One sentence in and I already know the payoff to this scene, as would anyone who's ever watched an anime or read a manga. If I must criticize something, it's that the story suffers from a mild case of predictability. I'm actually more interested in what's causing all these fainting spells than the fluff. It must be something if the most powerful magic-users in Equestria can't do anything about it. And is it getting worse? Their attitude about it seems pretty lackadaisical. I looked up her bio in deviantart and there doesn't seem to be any information there either.
The "reveal" kinda fell flat for me—seemed a might bit rushed. As a whole, the story was all right, though.
Really good job. This wasn't even long and it was more developed than some huge multi-parters I've read. Can't wait to see what comes next! as for the next one, I prefer romance out of the three you mentioned.
Aw, this was so sweet and fluffy!! Thanks for sharing :)
I must say, well done and nice story.
I don't think it's so much that Applejack is hard to write, but her character is such that unless she's the main focus, there's not much you can do with her. She's the steadfast, reliable character, and if you don't give her any conflict to deal with directly, it can feel boring writing her, because there isn't much dimension to her. This is also probably why she falls to the background so often in the show. Due to that, it always feels like it's hard to write her, because she's just a naturally dry character. I think you wrote her just fine.
Anyway, good story. It was adorable, and I agree that random fluff romance can be really cathartic. It's nice being able to read a short story about two characters falling in love without all the strings attached.
Great story. I don't suppose you feel like doing a follow-up sometime?
i really liked this. im guessing this is part of a fan alt universe.
i will need to find more.
I loved the Prism Bolt series (yes the characters are from that universe) So could you maybe make more stories in that universe?
at first i was like: Omigosh, yay, more Gold Star!
now i'm like: ...um... ok... that happened.
Not to be rude or anything, but this story vaguely reminded me of another kilala-verse story. Namely, mine: Stars in His Eyes. More or less, it had the same premise: Star helps on the farm, Gold lets her stay over for a bit, they talk and they get interrupted before the love confession. I liked your story, don't me wrong, it was very nice and it was written well, but I couldn't help but get this odd vibe. Oh well. You still get my like and my upvote. Congrats on the feature, by the way.
Beautiful! I will definitely need to read more of this universe, it sounds interesting and this chapter convinces me that it most certainly is! This is so well written, it's incredibly detailed, fits together perfectly, and is so appealing to all parties involved!
Reading fuzzy romance is a guilty (or perhaps innocent) pleasure of mine; this was quite enjoyable.
I am really enjoy you story so far :3
Without even reading it, if this story is set in some sort of 'verse, it needs the Alternate Universe tag.
Write moar DelStar fluff plz. Kthx!
I myself, personally like romance.
As for the story, great job!
The motivation problem, I've had myself, but I tend to write one-shots when that happens. I'm writing a chapter a day at the moment and am getting better and better ideas that I just want to write down! Also lots of world building, and that takes time, so I understand trying to get it all down.
I laughed my head off when I saw the cover art
4681994
AJ and Caramel, I think.
4679591
Didn't yours get featured too?
Is this the perfect concept?
Cute story! For OCs, I must admit that they were very well developed for something that is a one-shot. Excellent work!
Is there a group on fimfiction for stories about these characters?
4676078
I knew I would find you here. Guess that means it's time to read this story.
The front image, of widdle pony faceplanting? Best pic ever.
4687350
Bam!
Enjoy 'em!
Ah-freakin'-dorable.
So cute, I'm enjoying reading this 'next generation' stories.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrgggggggg!!!! Who are their parents? I can only pick out mothers!
Prism: Rainbow
Star: Twilight
Golden: AJ
4694538 go check Kilala97 on deviant art. Starburst, Prism, and Del are part of her "next gen" headcannon. Everything is explained there ;)
No you're not crazy, AJ is a pretty hard character to write. I love this story and the whole Kilala universe!
4694538 Click here.
This isn't burnout
Their are no cars and explosions
Very well done!!
... but no sequel?
Very well written OCs. It's certainly hard to do and I enjoyed it. Excellent job.
got yourself a follower
stay classy
Haha, I read this and thought of another goldXstar ship fic. Being interrupted at the last minute. That was so priceless XD loved your fic. /)
4694538 that´s because you don´t know Kilala, she created this and more characters, go see her on DevianART! nooooooow!