If You Die Because of This, I'm Totally Gonna Kill You

NotARealPonydotcom presents
Burnout
Starring Golden Delicious and Starburst

——

A gentle breeze swept through Sweet Apple Acres, blowing a few fallen leaves across its fields and rustling the branches of its many apple trees. It was a welcome wind on such a warm day, especially to the two ponies making their way back from a long morning of harvesting the late spring crop. Golden Delicious and Starburst trotted side by side, the former lugging a large cart filled to the brim with apples behind him. His companion savored the small wind that blew across her face, tilting her head up to catch more of it as it went by. Her large wings fluttered in appreciation of the breeze, and she resisted the urge to extend them to their full wingspan. A gust blew her bangs in her face, filling her vision with her cobalt, pink, and light blue locks. She brushed her multicolored mane out of her eyes, at which point she noticed that Golden Delicious was staring at her. Staring right back at him, she raised an eyebrow in question.

"Yer sure yer okay?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied.

His eyes narrowed. "Really? You remember th' last time ya told me you were 'okay,' right?"

"I remember that I was fine in the end."

"Yeah, you were. How'd'ya think I felt, when ya started snoozin' in th' tree I was buckin' and wouldn't wake up, no matter how hard I kicked it?"

Starburst groaned. "Geez, Del..."

"What?" he asked. "I worry about ya, Star. You know that."

"And you know that I'm never actually in danger when I burn out. I've been doing this for years, Del. My body can take it."

The earth pony gave her a once-over, looking unsure. Then he turned his attention back to the path ahead and said, "It's just that—"

"Del, please!" she interrupted. "I'm okay, see?" She flapped her wings and swished her tail from side to side. "Nothing's broken, nothing's numb. I'm not even out of breath anymore."

Golden Delicious frowned, and his trot slowed to a halt. Starburst looked back at him, confused.

"Del? What's the matter?"

He studied her face and muttered, "Not even out of breath, huh?"

The look he gave her made her feel as though a spotlight shone down on her. "Uh, nope! I feel normal, Del."

"Yer not the least bit exhausted?"

"No..."

One of his eyebrows rose, making Starburst groan again.

"Don't give me that look, Del! I'm not lying to you, I really am okay!"

He gave her no response, only continued to stare.

"Ugh..." She turned away from the judgmental stallion and kept walking. "I'm telling you, Del, I'm fine. Let's just go."

Golden Delicious stared after her for a moment before shifting the harness on his back into a more comfortable position and starting down the road again. He caught up with the frustrated pegasus after a minute or so, and the two walked in silence towards the farmhouse that was now visible in the distance. The wind blew in his face, and he tilted his head into it to dry some of the sweat on his face. Shutting his eyes, he let the wind cool him down as he listened to the sounds of the orchard: the rustling of the trees' leaves, the faint tweeting of nearby birds, the heavy and desperate gulping down of air right next to him—

"Star?" Golden Delicious said, opening his eyes and turning to look at the pegasus beside him. Sure enough, he saw Starburst's chest ballooning in and out in a desperate attempt to take in as much oxygen as possible. Her jaw had slackened, which explained the gulping noise he'd heard, and her pupils had shrunken since he last looked her in the eye. Her wings twitched every few seconds, and a few of her feathers were sticking out at awkward angles. Oddly enough, the mare herself seemed oblivious to all of these sudden changes, and she acknowledged Golden Delicious with remarkable normalcy.

"Yeah?"

"Yer... Yer hyperventilatin'."

Starburst sighed in frustration (then immediately began sucking in a fresh breath of air) and shot him a dirty look. The combination of her unhinged jaw and dead-looking eyes, however, completely ruined any attempt at looking intimidating for her and instead made her look like she was imitating a goat.

"Look," she began, turning her gaze back to the path ahead, "I'll tell you one more time—"

She paused to let her lungs refill, and then her legs gave out. Without so much as a squeak from her, Starburst fell forward and landed face-first in the dirt. Her snout pancaked as her face mashed into the ground, and her wings shot out and fell to her sides with a large, feathery flomp! Her ears and legs trembled, and her tail gave one final swish as her hind legs forced her flank up into the air. Then she was still.

Golden Delicious gazed down at the collapsed pegasus, his expression blank. When he heard soft snores coming from her, he smiled and chuckled.

I thought so.

"Alright, Star," he muttered, stepping over to his fainted friend. "Up ya go."

——

Starburst awoke several hours later to find her face pressed into a bale of hay and a harsh beam of evening sunlight shining in her eyes. Wincing, she rolled over, ignoring the awkward position of her wings and the buzzing numbness in her legs. She sat up and looked around, confused as to where she was. The dark red walls and hay-strewn floors informed her she was in the Sweet Apple Acres barn next to the farmhouse, and she frowned.

"What am I doing here?" she muttered, brushing straw from her mane. She attempted to stand, but the moment her front legs attempted to take on the weight of her body, they trembled and gave out, making her stumble. "Steady..." She willed her legs to work again, and started making her way to the barn door, step by shaky, unbalanced step. Her face twisted in concentration, and her wings began to fidget as she stepped down from the hay bales she had been placed on top of. She reached the bottom of the pile after several slow, agonizing minutes, and was about to step onto solid ground again when the barn door opened, resulting in a sudden, loud creaking noise that made her jump and sent her tumbling to the ground.

"Gotta oil that hinge again..." Golden Delicious noted as he stepped into the barn. He looked over at the hay bales and saw Starburst lying on the ground in a pile of her own. "Starburst! Yer awake already!"

Starburst twisted her head around to look at the earth pony and said, "'Already?' How long have I been in here?"

"Only a couple'a hours," he replied, shutting the barn door behind him. He trotted over to her and reached out a hoof. "Ma thought ya'd be spendin' th' night here."

"Yeah, well, I told you—" She took Golden Delicious' hoof and hoisted herself up. "—my body's getting used to this kind of work."

"Is that why yer foreleg is shaking like that?"

Starburst looked down at the limb he'd pointed out and frowned when she saw it had indeed begun trembling again. Golden Delicious laughed.

"Come on." He gestured to the bales. "Sit down. Take a breather."

"My mother's probably going crazy wondering where I am—"

"Yer ma knows what happened, Star. She's gonna come by and pick ya up after she's done givin' lessons fer th' day." He nodded at the bales again. "Please? Fer me."

Starburst stared him down, but he didn't budge. She sighed, defeated, and let Golden Delicious lean her against a bale. He sat next to her and stretched out his legs and neck.

"Thanks for taking care of me again," Starburst mumbled, looking down at her hooves.

"Don't I always?"

"Yeah. You do." She looked at him with a smirk. "So, are you gonna lecture me now?"

He grinned. "I don't know what yer talkin' about."

"Come on, Del." She nudged him. "I know you've got a speech lined up for me to listen to. Today wouldn't be complete without one."

He shrugged. "I got nothin'."

"Really?" she asked, leaning closer to him. "Not even a tiny warning for me?"

Golden Delicious looked at her in amazement. "Why, Princess Starburst, are you joking around with me? You, the most serious mare in all of Equestria?"

She punched his side and said, "Don't call me 'Princess,' jerk." She folded her forearms across her chest and mumbled, "I know you have a lecture to give me. You always do."

Grinning, Golden Delicious said, "Well, if you insist..."

"I just want to get it over with."

"Sure ya do..." He leaned in, squinting at her. "Star, are you blushing...?"

The pegasus turned her head away and yelled, "No! Just give me your stupid lecture so I can go!"

Golden Delicious snickered and said, "Alright, alright..." He shifted in his seat as he thought of what he could say that hadn't already been said. He wasn't surprised when nothing new came to mind; Starburst's "burnouts" had been going on for years, and he found it odd that neither his mother nor Starburst's had done anything to stop them. Now they were starting to become a part of his daily routine—wake up, eat breakfast, work in the orchard with Starburst til lunch or until she burns out, carry her back to the farm or back home, etcetera—and he began to wonder how much more she could take before it overwhelmed her. The thought of Starburst working herself into a coma (or worse) was both ludicrous and terrifying, and it made him shiver.

"Star," he finally began, "ya need ta stop comin' here so often. I appreciate the help, really, but if ya start doing this every day, yer gonna burn out and stay burnt out, and I really don't ever want to see that happen."

"But I've been training more now so that I can do this every day!" Starburst protested. "My endurance levels are skyrocketing, Del, and I—"

He interrupted her: "You need to find somethin' else ta do. Train with Prism once a week, or somethin'."

"Prism?" She laughed. "Prism doesn't train, Del. Prism lounges around on clouds and pranks ponies. I've only ever gotten him to exercise once, and when I burnt out on him, he drew all over my face and left me in my uncle's garden."

"It was just a suggestion—"

"Well, it was a dumb suggestion!" She glared down at the floor. "Why are you forcing me to leave, anyway?"

"I never said that, Star. I just don't want ya workin' yerself to death every day of th' week. It ain't healthy."

Starburst said nothing, only frowned at the patch of hay beneath her. Golden Delicious looked at her and sighed.

"Ya know I love havin' ya around, Star. Yer my best friend, an' an honorary member of the Apple Family in my book, but ya gotta know when ta stop."

"I'm always fine once I wake up, though—"

Golden Delicious stomped a hoof on the ground. "You can barely walk, Star! That's why we're sittin' here instead'a walkin' back ta yer house!"

"Okay, okay!" She waved him off with a hoof. "I get it! I'll—" She hesitated. "I'll stop coming here every day to work."

Golden Delicious nodded in satisfaction. "Good." He faced the far side of the barn again, and for a moment the two sat in silence. Starburst turned her head away from Golden Delicious, pressing her cheek up against the hay bale she leaned against. She thought for a moment, then asked, "Can I just come to visit?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I come here just to talk or hang out? I won't burn myself out, I swear."

The stallion glanced at her. "Really?"

"Yeah. I like being in the fields. It's peaceful out there." She turned to face Golden Delicious. "And I like hanging out with you."

He smiled, ignoring the feeling of blood rushing to his cheeks. "Of course. Ya don't need to ask."

"Thanks. And, maybe I can pick just one tree clean—"

"Don't push it, Star."

She smiled and gave him a hug. He laughed, and returned the gesture with a grin. They separated, and Starburst decided to try putting weight on her front legs again. Before she could attempt it, though, she noticed that Golden Delicious was giving her an odd look. "Uh, Del? What's the matter?"

"Ya got a bit'a hay stuck on yer cheek. Here—"

"I got it—"

He brought his hoof up to brush away the hay at the same time as she did, and their hooves met against her cheek. The two ponies froze, and the bit of hay fell to the floor unnoticed. Both of their faces turned beet red, but neither of them moved their hooves away. Starburst slid hers on top of Golden Delicious' as he cupped her cheek, and she felt a fluttering sensation in her gut that made her want to yell something. She found her vocal chords rendered useless, though, as she watched the crimson-faced stallion lean in, his eyes wide with some ecstatic blend of nervous emotions. She herself couldn't control her own movements, and she felt her lips part in a foolish attempt to say something while he leaned closer and closer, and his hoof was tilting her head and pulling her in, and she just gripped it with her own hoof and felt an airiness in her lungs that just got stronger the closer he came and she could smell apples and sweat on him—

"GOLDEN DELICIOUS! SOUP'S ON!"

The sound of the barn door scraping open activated a reflex in Starburst that she didn't know she had, and she slammed her free foreleg into Golden Delicious' chest. The stallion let out an "Oof!" and fell backwards, landing on his side just in time for his mother, Applejack, to appear in the doorway of the barn. She noticed Starburst first, and she smiled at the pegasus.

"Oh, Starburst, yer awake! Glad ta see yer o—"

She paused when she noticed the rest of the scene she'd walked in on: her son lying in the hay, covering his face with his forelegs and turning away from her; Starburst sitting up and leaning forward, shaking and staring intensely at the floor; both of them blushing, their faces redder than some of the ripest apples she'd ever harvested.

"...kay..." Her smile wilted a little, but was soon replaced by a smirk that Starburst did her best to avoid looking directly at.

"Hi, Mrs. Applejack," she mumbled, still looking at the floor. "I was just leaving."

Applejack chuckled and said, "Well, since yer awake so soon, why don't ya stay fer dinner? Yer mother'll be here soon anyway, and Big Mac made more than enough fer everypony!"

"Uh..." Starburst glanced at Golden Delicious, who was still turned towards the hay pile and hugging his face. "I don't know if I should..."

She jumped as a hoof wrapped itself around her shoulders. Applejack pulled her into a friendly nuzzle, saying, "Ah, it ain't no trouble! As far as I see it, yer an honorary member of the Apple Family, an' that means you can eat at our table anytime! Ain't that right, Golden Delicious?"

Starburst glared at the stallion, who had uncovered his face at the mention of "an honorary member of the Apple Family." He just stared back at her, cheeks still burning, and shrugged.

"A-A'course she's welcome," he stammered, getting to his hooves. "She's, uh, still a bit shaky from the work this morning."

Applejack squeezed Starburst tighter, forcing the air out of the pegasus' lungs. "Well, I'm sure some food'll fix that right up! What'd'ya say, Starburst?"

Starburst stared at Golden Delicious, who avoided her gaze as much as possible. She sighed in defeat and stood up, doing her best not to tremble as she did. Without taking her eyes off of Golden Delicious, she said, "I'd love to have dinner with you."

"Great!" Applejack patted the pegasus on the back and led her towards the door. "Now, let's get you some food quick! I bet yer starving, after all that workin' an' nappin'!"

She led Starburst out of the barn, leaving Golden Delicious alone. The stallion stared at the spot they'd left, and wondered whether or not he'd be getting a talk later that evening. Then he thought back to the moment before his mother had come in, and he grinned and blushed again. He brought a hoof up to his mane and scratched at it, finding bits of hay and pulling them out one by one. The last one, he held onto for a moment, looking at it like it was something much more than just a tiny bit of food.

"Golden Delicious!" his mother called. "You comin'?"

"Yeah, ma!" he answered, dropping the hay to the floor. "Right behind ya!"

"An' don't forget ta shut the barn door! Don't want the cattle eatin' all the hay overnight!"

"I know!" He trotted to the door and stepped out into the evening sunlight. He took one last look at the pile of hay bales he'd laid Starburst on, smiled again, and pulled the door closed.

——

The End

Author's Note:

Dear Readers,

I feel refreshed after writing this. I didn't even mean to publish it. I didn't think it would be any good, but after cleaning it up in editing, I figured there was enough there for some people to enjoy, so... here we are. Aah, fluff pieces! What a palate cleanser you are!

This world and these characters are so amazing to me. I've never seen a fan-made creation grow so popular, and in so little time, too. I mean, eight month ago, none of this existed. Now, there's a fan club, over thirty stories (this makes thirty-one!), and an entire universe to be explored, all stemming from these seven little characters that showed up on DeviantArt one day. I realize I must sound like I'm exaggerating, and I probably am without knowing it, but this is seriously an impressive accomplishment. So, to all the readers, writers, fan-artists (yes, fanart of fanart is out there!), and of course, Kilala herself, congratulations.

Like I said earlier, writing this has refreshed me, despite all of the trouble I had putting this down (I was very tired at the time). This is that first story that I've published without having that behemoth Two Weeks sitting on my shoulder. I'm not saying that it was awful always having that to think about, but... oh, what the hell, yes it was. I understand now why there are stories I started reading two years ago that haven't updated in, well, two years; when a story loses it's glamour to you, the writer, it becomes harder and harder to get the rest of it down. You want to move on to new things, and the story you're still updating becomes a problem child to you. At least, that's how it was for me. I'm happy I got to finish that story, trust me, but I'm happier to be able to go on and do new things. Speaking of which...

As of now, I have three multi-chapter stories I'm trying to put together, though I might just have one of them make it to publishing. I'm not gonna bore you with the details, I'll save that for a lame blog post or something, but I do have a quick question: comedy, drama, or romance? This might not be the right crowd to ask, but it'd be nice to get a random census taken, to see what people like.

Wow, that's a lot of notes. I'd better compress it for those speed-reader types:

TL;DR—I like fluffy romance, Kilala is a boss and you're all awesome for liking her stuff, I'm thinking of a new multi-chapter story, I regret nothing. Peace!

—NotARealPonydotcom

P.S. Is it just me, or is Applejack a really hard character to write? I mean, she didn't have that much of a role here, but in other stories I've always had the hardest time writing her parts. Am I crazy?

9,043 views

659

Comments ( 46 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 46
- Newest First
- Oldest First

TiberiusPonificus

TiberiusPonificus #1 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

Brilliant first chapter, I must say.

dark_zero

dark_zero #2 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

OneMadMuffin

OneMadMuffin #3 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

Incredible! Simply incredible! Here, enjoy some Yays and some mustaches.

Gleaming

Gleaming #4 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

Beautiful, I've always wondered about these characters. Loved this chapter.

Night_Wisp

Night_Wisp #5 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

Oh wow, my favorite genre and the next generation ponies equals YES!

This is just amazing.

LuminoZero

LuminoZero #6 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

AJ IS kind of hard to write. Her personality is very passive, so she's kind of relegated to being a foil 9/10 times. Still, she came off solid here. Nice work!

As usual, I absolutely adore your work in this universe. It was short and sweet, and I liked seeing Starburst finally relent. That mare is stubborn as a mule.

I think it is just the logical progression of her mother's OCD/neurotic tendencies. Thanks again for writing this, it was an absolute pleasure to read!

-Lumino

SageBrony07

SageBrony07 #7 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

I like this story. Great job with it. I wish there was a more actual story with Del and Star getting together. That would be nice.

Ebony Stallion

Ebony Stallion #8 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

God damn it, Applejack!

Great story, though I would had loved to see Del and Star kissed. DelxStar is my alternative to StarburstxStarfall and DelxCreme.

Visiden Visidane

Visiden Visidane #9 · Jul 11th, 2014 · 2 · ·

The writing is pretty solid and you've done well in breathing life to these characters.

He brought his hoof up to brush away the hay at the same time as she did, and their hooves met against her cheek. The two ponies froze, and the bit of hay fell to the floor unnoticed. Both of their faces turned beet red, but neither of them moved their hooves away. Starburst slid hers on top of Golden Delicious' as he cupped her cheek, and she felt a fluttering sensation in her gut that made her want to yell something. She found her vocal chords rendered useless, though, as she watched the crimson-faced stallion lean in, his eyes wide with some ecstatic blend of nervous emotions. She herself couldn't control her own movements, and she felt her lips part in a foolish attempt to say something while he leaned closer and closer, and his hoof was tilting her head and pulling her in, and she just gripped it with her own hoof and felt an airiness in her lungs that just got stronger the closer he came and she could smell apples and sweat on him—

One sentence in and I already know the payoff to this scene, as would anyone who's ever watched an anime or read a manga. If I must criticize something, it's that the story suffers from a mild case of predictability. I'm actually more interested in what's causing all these fainting spells than the fluff. It must be something if the most powerful magic-users in Equestria can't do anything about it. And is it getting worse? Their attitude about it seems pretty lackadaisical. I looked up her bio in deviantart and there doesn't seem to be any information there either.

DismantledAccount

DismantledAccount #10 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

The "reveal" kinda fell flat for me—seemed a might bit rushed. As a whole, the story was all right, though.

MedicHorse

MedicHorse #11 · Jul 11th, 2014 · 4 · ·

Really good job. This wasn't even long and it was more developed than some huge multi-parters I've read. Can't wait to see what comes next! as for the next one, I prefer romance out of the three you mentioned.

Quiet Ebullience

Quiet Ebullience #12 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

Aw, this was so sweet and fluffy!! Thanks for sharing :)

Raichu

Raichu #13 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

I must say, well done and nice story.

FeignedSincerity

FeignedSincerity #14 · Jul 11th, 2014 · 1 · ·

I don't think it's so much that Applejack is hard to write, but her character is such that unless she's the main focus, there's not much you can do with her. She's the steadfast, reliable character, and if you don't give her any conflict to deal with directly, it can feel boring writing her, because there isn't much dimension to her. This is also probably why she falls to the background so often in the show. Due to that, it always feels like it's hard to write her, because she's just a naturally dry character. I think you wrote her just fine.

Anyway, good story. It was adorable, and I agree that random fluff romance can be really cathartic. It's nice being able to read a short story about two characters falling in love without all the strings attached.

Bluecatcinema

Bluecatcinema #15 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

Great story. I don't suppose you feel like doing a follow-up sometime?

Nightheart

Nightheart #16 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

i really liked this. im guessing this is part of a fan alt universe.
i will need to find more.

Ardent Dusk

Ardent Dusk #17 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

I loved the Prism Bolt series (yes the characters are from that universe) So could you maybe make more stories in that universe?

The Princess Rarity

The Princess Rarity #18 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

at first i was like: Omigosh, yay, more Gold Star!

now i'm like: ...um... ok... that happened.

Not to be rude or anything, but this story vaguely reminded me of another kilala-verse story. Namely, mine: Stars in His Eyes. More or less, it had the same premise: Star helps on the farm, Gold lets her stay over for a bit, they talk and they get interrupted before the love confession. I liked your story, don't me wrong, it was very nice and it was written well, but I couldn't help but get this odd vibe. Oh well. You still get my like and my upvote. Congrats on the feature, by the way.

Icanhazmochi

Icanhazmochi #19 · Jul 11th, 2014 · · ·

Beautiful! I will definitely need to read more of this universe, it sounds interesting and this chapter convinces me that it most certainly is! This is so well written, it's incredibly detailed, fits together perfectly, and is so appealing to all parties involved!

Broken Phalanx

Broken Phalanx #20 · Jul 12th, 2014 · 1 · ·

Reading fuzzy romance is a guilty (or perhaps innocent) pleasure of mine; this was quite enjoyable.

MegAnimefreakx3

MegAnimefreakx3 #21 · Jul 12th, 2014 · · ·

I am really enjoy you story so far :3

greydoran

greydoran #22 · Jul 12th, 2014 · · ·

Without even reading it, if this story is set in some sort of 'verse, it needs the Alternate Universe tag.

CaraMacFan4Lyfe

CaraMacFan4Lyfe #23 · Jul 12th, 2014 · · ·

not bad at all first time reading Gold star and I like it :3

ElkinFencer10

ElkinFencer10 #24 · Jul 12th, 2014 · · ·

Write moar DelStar fluff plz. Kthx!

dukesofhazzardftw

dukesofhazzardftw #25 · Jul 12th, 2014 · · ·

I mustache you a question, is golden delicious the offspring of AJ or did i red that wrong?

Tailgate

Tailgate #26 · Jul 12th, 2014 · · ·

I myself, personally like romance.

As for the story, great job!

The motivation problem, I've had myself, but I tend to write one-shots when that happens. I'm writing a chapter a day at the moment and am getting better and better ideas that I just want to write down! Also lots of world building, and that takes time, so I understand trying to get it all down.

Death2205