• Member Since 17th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

LuminoZero


Someone once said I was passive aggressive. I disagree. I am far too impatient for that. I prefer just being normal aggressive. Don't worry about 'maybe' upsetting me, you will know.

E
Source

This story is a sequel to Wingover


When the biannual Wonderbolt Exhibition in Manehattan turns into a disaster zone, even the most skilled of pegasi will find themselves tested.

Prism Bolt has been coasting through life since his brief moment in the sun during Tornado Duty. His brother, Icy Storm, has set his sights on being a flier greater than even their mother, to the exclusion of all else. Will the turbulence from this event give their lives new direction, or will it send them spiraling into disaster? The time has come for the children of Rainbow Dash to choose their own paths in life. These two brothers, different as night and day, will find that perhaps they have more to learn from each other than they realized.

AN: This is the fourth and final part to a series that began with the story 'A Little Push.' I highly recommend reading the other three stories for maximum enjoyment.

The characters, art and pretty much everything except the story concept belong to Kilala97. She's awesome and you should check her stuff out.

Proofreading done by the grammatical force of nature, Prak. This is another guy you should check out, cause man can he write humor.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 106 )

This story was filled with :fluttercry: and :heart: and :pinkiehappy: and even the occasional :rainbowhuh:! Good times, goood times... :twilightsmile:

Yes! I've been waiting for this to come out!

4598995

Thanks for your help, Frission! As always, your support is much appreciated. :pinkiehappy:


4599014

That makes two of us! I hope you enjoy!

-Lumino

This story was inexplicably at the very top the moment I pressed browse. :yay:

I licked the story to see how it tasted. Saw the Next Gen concept and instant liked it.

Puts it at the top of private read latter bookmark list.

4599019

Good timing, for me at least!

4599033

Just so you know, this is the fourth part to a series. Reading it first might confuse you a little bit. That said, I hope you enjoy it when you get around to it!

-Lumino

4599036 Yeah, I would have never seen this otherwise.:pinkiesick:

4599036
I've read the others.

My reaction to the PrismxWhirlwind moment....

static.gamespot.com/uploads/original/1143/11436227/2422599-1817883049-83861.png

This was truly awesome, Lumino! You had satisfied my Prism and Whirlwind tastebuds!

Thank you!

4599154

Glad to hear you enjoyed it!

-Lumino

4599175 Well, I was caught by surprise by that part...and it makes me sad that this was the last Prism story you will be writing. Btw, doesn't grown up Prism's manestyle remind you of somebody...

Loved this series. Which character is next?

4599240

Not sure. Inspiration doesn't tend to give advance warning.

Glad you enjoyed it;
-Lumino

Dude, you been featured, congrats!

This one had an ending, that actually felt like an ending! Well done.

Read, Loved, Faved

4599612

"Throughout history it has been said that an ending is merely a beginning in disguise."

That is how I like to write my endings. Life doesn't end after a major shift, it just changes.

4599634

Glad you enjoyed it!

-Lumino

Oh. My. God. I absolutely adore this arc. As sad as it is to see it end, it couldn't have gone out better.

4599775

Thanks! That really means a lot to me. Endings are one of those things that I have struggled with. I'm glad that I seemed to get this one right.

-Lumino

And then sex happened XD

Two words: "Awesome!" and "Terrific!" Its awsomriffic!

4599909

While Prism might be brazen enough to have sex in that situation, I think Whirlwind might have issue with it!

4599914

Praise worthy of Rainbow Dash herself! Glad you enjoyed it!

-Lumino

very good story i ship prism and Whirlwind :raritystarry:

4599956

As you should. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for the comment!

-Lumino

Best story ever I enjoy reading your stories and this one specifically topped it off for my #1 favorite story :D

4600283

That is quite a compliment! Thanks for your comment, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :pinkiehappy:

-Lumino

After reading the series, I can tell you that I enjoyed your work.

Though, if I remember correctly, the second story felt like the weakest, to me. Also your tendency to drift over into unnecessary exposition (both emotional and not) throughout your writing was a mild irritant. I'll give you a fairly simple example from early on in this story:

"I didn't... I mean that wasn't… er..." Stormy began, finding himself without a proper response.

Here you don't really need anything after Stormy's line. In the dialogue, he doesn't have a response, so why are you telling me that he doesn't have a response? It's completely redundant, if you really think about it. It's like saying this:

"Go!" yelled Stormy, saying "go."

It's rather distracting, for me.

It's a reoccurring error, and I think that if you stopped, your writing would improve. I could go through and point out some more, if you like.

4600587

The second story felt like the weakest to me as well. That's OK, though, because they can't all be home runs.

You're spot on with the emotional exposition, however. It's something I'm still working on, but sometimes it slips through the cracks. There is no need to point out any further examples here. I do not tend to make major structure changes to a story after I have published it. I feel that it is important to remember the lessons we have learned as a writer, and in this way my story list serves more as a record of my growth than just a simple collection of stories.

Thanks for your comment!

-Lumino

Ah, such is life. There are no true endings, only beginnings. Birth is just one begining, and when you die, as far as I can tell its just the first step into the next adventure. To bad its so scary.

4601296

Ok, Dumbledore. :raritywink:

Thanks for the comment!

-Lumino

4600623 Really? Well, I for one liked Wingover. Maybe it has to do with the PrismxDubz dynamic in it, or the fact that it was the story that inspired my story about the two (not to mention the title).

To me, it was 'In Her Shadow' that didn't do it for me. Don't know why, but it just didn't click with me as it did with the other two (now three) stories of the series.

Either way, even though some may say otherwise, your stories were all good.

Bravo. By far the best story I have read on this sight! Oh and the feels at the end. Oh I wish you would continue. Maybe with Stormy's adventure? Or even just a short epilogue of all that's happened years in the future and their lives.

Uhhg I have never been so sad to finish a series(aside from Percy Jackson which now has one more book left)

4601574 Isn't wingover the 3rd and In Her Shadow the second? Hence he says the second wasn't the best.

4601669 Wingover was his second Prism story written. In Her Shadow was written after that one, although it takes place before it.

I really liked this. That said, it felt a little... off, though I can't actually find anything wrong with it. I dunno, maybe my brain is finding the pacing a little wonky or something.

All that aside, I'm glad to see this finally out. This was a magnificent finalé to one of my favourite series of fics on the site, and I've thouroughly enjoyed reading it. I'm a little sad to see Prism's series go, but it was one hell of a ride while it lasted. Your masterful way of weaving characterization a really drives these stories to a whole new level.

Keep up the good work, man, and, if it's not too much to ask, please make sure you work with Kilala's characters again. Your writing style fits their characterization so, so well.

Okay, I think we are missing (or I am just blind) a very essential part of Prism's story here. The story art is masterfully drawn to depict moments of Prism's life that you have also written. The first is when Prism learns to fly. The second is when Prism learns how to not be in his mother's shadow. Next is the Tornado day, but the fourth and fifth pictures are a complete mystery to me, at least in that they have never been written.

Now, I have to ask before I read: are those two pictures going to be explained in this story? Because what I am getting from those two snapshots aren't exactly what this story is about.

I also understand that this might be a massive spoiler. One of those pictures is pretty damn easy to understand. So if you need to answer my question in a PM, go ahead. I just want to make sure I am not going into this story missing essential information.

4601315 Dumbledore?! Where?! I thought he Gandalf and Starswirl were still having the super secret meeting somewhere....

4601712

I meant second chronologically, which was 'In Her Shadow'. I had good ideas with that story, they just fell short.

4602196

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the series. There will likely be more stories in the future, but we never know. We shall see, I suppose.

4602235

No worries! The last series of pictures are from this story. You aren't supposed to know what they are telling you about, yet.

I hope you enjoy!

-Lumino

4602386
Well, I can make pretty good guesses as to what they are about. XP

This was quite nice.

4602428

Looking forward to seeing if your guesses were right or not. :derpytongue2:


4602639

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.

-Lumino

Very satisfying ending to the series. I am a bit sad that we won't get anymore peeks into the lives of the Other kids, specifically Sweetie and Button's beyond Pixel, or to see what became of Apple Bloom. I've always been a fan of DiamondBloom, but then I'm a sucker for redemption stories, or SpikeBloom, but that obviously is out, or AppleSqueak, but... Actually, there aren't any downfalls for that one.

Author, make it happen. :pinkiecrazy:

In all seriousness, thanks for these stories. They weren't perfect, but they were immensely entertaining and heartwarming. :ajsmug:

4603186

Won't get anymore peeks? Now whoever said that? :rainbowlaugh:

I suppose I should clarify. I'm done with Prism's story. He won't be a main character again, though he may be a side/background character. But I just started writing Pixel, and I fell in love with her dynamic with Stormy. You can expect to see a story about that somewhere down the line.

Incidentally, in this universe the shipping for Apple Bloom produces this foal:
th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/360/f/4/api_by_kilala97-d6ziltv.jpg

Two guesses as to who the father is. :raritywink:

Anyway. While this tale may be done, my writing for this universe certainly is not.

I'll see you in the next one!

-Lumino

HEADCANON EXCEPTED
No more Prismcandy or PrismBurst
PrisDubz 5eva fo' sho'

Please do a series of fanfics for all of her characters o-o xD You are an amazing writer and your stories absolutely bring Kilala's characters to life :D

4603773

We'll see what the future holds! Thanks for the compliment, and I am glad you enjoyed the story.

-Lumino

I'm glad that I came along for the ride for these stories about Prism, they were well worth reading.

I can't help but wonder, though, about what Dash and Soarin are doing with their retirement. Did I miss a detail in there somewhere?

4604233

It wasn't addressed because I didn't see it as terribly important. Though I imagine RD might get hit with a pretty big case of Empty Nest Syndrome since both of her boys are moving out at roughly the same time. There might be a story in there somewhere.

Maybe. :raritywink:

Thanks for the comment and I am glad you enjoyed!

-Lumino

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