Scootaloo ends up with her father's lunch by mistake. Reality is almost destroyed in the process.

A collaboration with RainbowBob.
Now featured on Equestria Daily!

Crime was easy before Princess Twilight and the First Five ushered in a golden age of Harmony. Back then, any idiot could plan a robbery, just like any rat could sneak through the cracks in wooden granary walls. But now that everything is cloudstone and clearsteel, with magical countermeasures over the few remaining holes, it takes a different breed of rat to survive.

"Slippery" Jimmy the Grey is one of the rare few ponies who can still slip through the cracks — even with the legendary Rainbow Corps on his tail. Now he's got a billion-bit heist planned in the gleaming skyscrapers of Cloudsdale. If only he hadn't made the mistake of stealing from a dragon …

Now with a reading by Illya Leonov and Scribbler!

* * *

This is a crossover with Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat novels, but it assumes no knowledge of the series.

Winner of February's Writeoff Association competition! * Featured by Equestria Daily! * Featured by Seattle's Angels!

REVIEWS: "Highly Recommended" by Titanium Dragon; "Recommended" by Present Perfect; rated "Why Haven't You Read This Yet?" by PaulAsaran

WORD OF MOUTH:
"The Iridescent Iron Rat was not only my favorite story from the most recent writeoff... it's my favorite story of anything I've read in months." —Sharp Spark

"What a ride it is. This story is made of awesome moments." —Casca, Seattle's Angels

"[A]stounding on so many levels. … If there’s one story from this round you have to pick, make it this one." —Corejo, Seattle's Angels

"Absolutely beautifully done. It fits the style and feel of the books to a perfect T." —Themaskedferret

After a discussion in class, Twilight has a very important question to ask her mentor Princess Celestia.

Pre read by ZOMG, Jumbled Thought, Cerulean Voice and Zodiac.
Edited by Dont Look At My Name Bro

Blank Slate is the greatest thief of his generation. He has robbed countless nigh-impossible marks, and his talents as a master of disguise are beyond par - truly, nopony knows who he is.

And now he's preparing the greatest heist in mortal memory: the treasure vaults of the Princesses themselves.

But you have to get up pretty early in the morning to get one past the pony who defines when ‘early in the morning’ is…

Spoilers in the comments! Beware! Beware...

Audio Reading available - thank you ABagOVicodin
Czech Translation available - Thank you Keranis

This story is a sequel to Headless, not Heartless

Okay, taking it from the top.
Hi, I'm Auric Fulcrum, also known as Frank DeFontaine. For about 1,500 years, I wasn't alive. I instead inhabited my Dullahan costume as a spirit because of my sword, which also brought me to Equestria. Once I got here, after a few years of back and forth, Sunbutt imprisoned me because of a minor misunderstanding.
I heard that!
You were meant to!
Anyways, once I got out, I learned that the Wise One was coming to this reality, so I did what came natural to me.
I sought out the power of the Golden Sun and used it to defeat him so utterly I would never have to worry about him again.
Problem was, the energies that bound me together and the power of the Sun conflicted, so my armor fell apart. And without the armor, I was unbound, unfocused.
I came to a week later in the same basement I had been imprisoned, in my old body, but with a few...upgrades. Like Alchemy being a Thing I can Do.
Now that I'm alive again, my to-do list is radically different, but no less daunting.
For starters, how am I supposed to stop a mountain from sinking into the earth?!

A long, long time ago, there was a knight who set out on a noble quest to save a fair maiden and, if possible, slay the dragon keeping her captive.

Only... things don't always go as planned.

Many thanks to the incredibly talented hattonslayden for letting me use this picture for the cover art. Check out his work some time!

Update: featured? Oh my... I feel all tingly inside...

I was known as Frank DeFontaine. I was going to a Halloween party. I was a pretty intelligent kid, starting my first college term, and decided a little dress-up couldn't hurt.
My buddy Richard got involved, though. And like everything, he took it a bit too far. This time, I didn't say no, though. I really should have.
Next thing I know, we're going all-out on making my Dullahan costume. Because he's my favorite optional boss, and all.
Really shoulda known something was up when that guy behind the counter just so happened to have a sword that fit our specifications perfectly.
Next thing I know, I'm in Equestria. And I'm missing a head.
Sakes, I could use a drink. And a neck.
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Featured on 2/19/2014.
I'd like to leave it at "Holy mother of-!" but that doesn't capture what I'm feeling!

This story is a sequel to Schadenfreude 2: Schadenfreude Harder

Schadenfreude is a simple pony. He enjoys the little things. Taking up as much room on an elevator as he likes. Sleeping through movies. And being a general annoyance to everyone around him.Of course, this leads to everyone around him disliking him on principle. Which only makes him smile wider.

After one too many "incidents" at his normal job, his employer takes it upon himself to "volunteer" him to work at the castle. As a butler.

For Prince Blueblood.

You can imagine the kind of shenanigans he gets up to now.

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See that [Incomplete] tag below? Yeah. It's happening.

You asked for it. Sequel to Schadenfreude 2: Schadenfreude Harder, and the train wreck that started it all, Schadenfreude.

(New cover art by the fantastic TodayIWriteFanfics!)

Bon Voyage is not a fast flyer. She's not into stunts or tricks either, but she can fly for nearly forever. When Jet Stream asked her to join Ponyville's long distance relay team for the Equestria games, she said yes. Now she's getting ready for her race in her own way.

Written for EQD Writer's Training Ground #004

No one's important. No one's special. Except for the princesses.

Blueblood's always known this. He's always accepted this. He'll never be special. He'll never do anything important.

But now he has to. There's too much at stake.

He knows he'll fail, but he has to try. Because...