Okay, I don't know if anyone can hear this, or read this, or whatever, but I'm trying my best to use Pinkie Pie's legendary fourth-wall-breaking powers to try and get a message out.

If you can hear this, I need help. I'm in Equestria, and man, this is strange. But I'm also stuck in Pinkie Pie's body, for some reason.

Yes, it's just as weird as it sounds. And now, I need your help... because all the ponies in this town think I'm crazy!

Octavia Philharmonica is a desperate mare. Her involvement in the ill-fated "pony pokey" at the prestigious Grand Galloping Gala has left her blacklisted among the elite of Canterlot who form her clientele. Faced with the possibility of being evicted from her apartment for inability to pay rent she decides to take a temporary job at a local nightclub. Of course, she's never set hoof in a club before and has no idea what she's getting involved in . . .

A refined mare fresh out of high school and a dropout following her dreams find themselves forced to spend a lot of time together.

With the help of a meddling psychology tutor and their new classmates, can they find what they've been looking for?

French Translation!

Fan Stuff!

* Voted Twice as the #1 Comedy FanFic on Equestria Daily *

Well, what can I say? This is the story of a man. Or maybe he was... a pony-man. Or maybe he was just a... Pony! But he was still...

FIREWAAAAAAAALLLL!!!!

... Yeah, this is that story. The story where a guy goes to a party and wakes up in Ponyville. That guy (I know him as 'me') seems to have landed in his own personal little heaven. Hell, I even brought me a pack of endless cigarettes. How does that not kick all kinds of flank?

So yeah, everything was awesome. The End.

Well, except for The Nightmare. And Trixie. And some jerk named David. Then there was that Azure Flora pony. And that skank princess that steals my goddamn phone!

Listen, summaries just... They just don't cut it. If you want the story, it's provided right here.

Just a warning. I use cusswords like a big boy.

ALSO LUNA IS NOTHING BUT A GODDAMN TROLL!

The local crime syndicate sees Miller's lack of ID as an advantage. Before too long, our poor former human is eyeball-deep in the scum of Canterlot. Forget going home - the challenge is trying to stay one step ahead of police, criminals, and a pair of persistent mares.

Princess Celestia: Goddess of the Sun, ruler of Equestria, beloved Princess of ponies. She is loved by all, and loves all in return. A calm and wise ruler, she sits on the throne in Canterlot, maintaining peace and harmony throughout the land.

What most don't know is that her past is much darker: She was once a commander of legions, a warrior and scientist of unmatched skill. Thousands of monsters and abominations fell to her forces, slain in the name of an old leader, one entombed within his own throne. Free of her old form, free of the powers of Chaos, she was cast into a new realm, in a new form, with a new lease on life.

She is the God Emperor, Eternal Ruler of Equestria and Lord of the Imperium of Man.

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Comments contain spoilers. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

A brony is transported into Equestria, but he finds himself in the body of a huge wolf. Can a carnivorous predator really befriend ponies, herbivorous equines, or will his new predatory instincts and the ponies instinctive fear of him make it impossible? His strange situation does not dampen the joy of actually being in Equestria, but that changes as an alien hatred starts gnawing at his mind...

My name is James Clark, and I am a Private Military Contractor. No, not Mercenary. Yes, there is a difference, but that's beside the point.

Ok, where was I? Ah yes, I was just entering my office in Downtown Houston one afternoon to hear a job offer. When I got there, I found a beautiful, robe-wearing woman waiting for me. Now, in this day and age, most people would find that strange. I didn't for two reasons.

1) In this line of work, you run into a few crazies. If I had a dollar for every nut-job I turned away, I could buy a small European country.

2) It was Halloween. Hell, I was on my way to a party dressed in a replica suit of Veteran Ranger Armor from Fallout: New Vegas, complete with gas mask and real riot gear I borrowed from a friend on the SWAT team. I was gonna win the costume contest for sure!

I'm getting off topic, aren't I? Anyways, this weirdo offered me a job without going into much detail. No location, no objective, not even a dollar amount The only thing I got out of her was the promise that I would be saving thousands, if not millions of lives.

Every instinct told me to turn the job down, and yet I still accepted it. Maybe the idea of playing hero again had its appeal.

God, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

The Piano Man has spent the last month in captivity, forced to play the piano as part of The Great and Powerful Trixie's traveling show. Now he's free, and recovering under the care of the Equestrian monarchy while Trixie awaits trial for her crimes.
All is not well, however. The Piano Man has a long road of recovery ahead, and all the time he must compete with overbearing carers, his own mental trauma, and even discrimination from members of Equestria's unicorn supremacist subculture.

This story is the kinda (can't stress that part enough) better-written sequel to 'The Piano Man'. Because the first story involved some rather dark scenes, I have included a helpful catch-up in the first chapter - so if you have no interest in reading a dark story, then you can ignore the first piece and skip straight ahead to this one.
'The Piano Man: Act II' is most certainly not a dark story, and neither is it sad. The sad tag is in place for scenes in which I reference the previous installment, and nothing else.

The absolutely amazing cover image was created by the even more amazing WIL_I_ZIN, (deviantART) who is just... just awesome, for helping out.

A pianist from Earth is home on a lonely Saturday, getting ready to enjoy his weekend, when he is suddenly summoned to Equestria - only to find himself being held captive by The Great and Powerful Trixie, who plans to use him as a piano-playing slave in her show.

If you came here looking for the sequel, 'The Piano Man: Act II', it can be found here.