Chapter 13
I felt a little movement. Someone was nearby. I was lying on my face with a hard concrete floor underneath me.
My head was jerked roughly. I managed a gasp of pain, and my eyes slid open. I was in some kind of open space, like an empty room. There was one dim light overhead. As my eyes came into focus, I saw Tally tying a rope around my neck.
I tried to move. My wings were bound and each pair of legs were tied together. Whatever drug I’d been given still made me feel weak.
“Why…” I was able to croak.
“You’re just too good at what you do to go on living,” answered Tally. He put a little tension on the rope around my neck. It ran through a pulley mounted somewhere above me. “I didn’t believe Duster when he first talked about you. Four dead griffons later and, well, I guess I do.”
He was the one who had sent them? Why?
“It’s not true.” Would admitting that I wasn’t actually that much of a badass help? I didn’t know, but desperation gives you weird ideas.
“I don’t care. Anyway, I’m taking care of the hard problem first. Duster’s next.” Tally hauled on the rope and I was yanked off the floor by my neck. I struggled like a worm on a fishing line. I was restricted from flying, and was in just as much of a bind as if I was still human.
Well, I did have one advantage. I concentrated as hard as I could on making myself lighter. It helped, and I managed to wiggle into an orientation that allowed the rope to cross under my chin instead of across my throat. Still, I could just barely breathe and the effort of simply holding myself in that position was exhausting. The alternative, however, was strangulation.
I hadn’t realized that Tally was the kind of guy who would go for the poetic justice thing. While I hadn’t meant to leave that one griffon hanging for all to see, it had turned out to be a powerful image. Killing me wasn’t business for Tally, it was revenge.
He tied off the rope and stood watching me. I could only manage tiny breaths of air, and tried to keep it covert so it wasn’t obvious. Hopefully pegasus lungs that were used to high altitude would help me handle low oxygen levels.
A short while passed, perhaps a minute or two. It felt like eternity, and Tally looked impatient. The door opened and Bend walked in. He stopped short in surprise. “What are you doing?”
Tally glared at him. “What does it look like?”
Bend wore an expression as if he was slowly realizing the situation he might have just walked into. He stared at me warily for a moment before turning to Tally. “Duster told me to hang out with you and help because he didn’t want any trouble.”
“I’m taking care of the source of the trouble,” said Tally. “Don’t you agree that it’s probably better for us all if Miller dies? What if he decided to work against us instead?”
Bend hesitated. Come on! I thought. Help me out, here! I was only late to work once!
The stallion cleared his throat. “Well, if you want him dead, that isn’t going to work. You can’t hang a pegasus, moron.”
Tally stared at him contemptuously. “So you just show up and insult me, thinking you know better?”
Bend shrugged. “Duster told me to help, so I am.”
“He’s going to kill Duster next,” I managed to squeak. Bend might have hung me out to dry, but at the very least I could give him something to think about.
“Are you going to believe anything he says?” asked Tally. The griffon glared at me, apparently livid that I wasn’t dead yet.
Bend looked between me and Tally. It was clear that he mistrusted both of us, but maybe me just a little bit less, as strange as that sounded. Appearing to reach some kind of decision, he started to move but the griffon was faster. The two of them tumbled to the floor, Tally on top. Between the two of them, the battle sounded like a combination of a rodeo and a catfight. Bend got in a few good hits, but the griffon’s talons and sharp beak quickly gave Tally the advantage.
I tried to just keep breathing, my eyes avoiding the fight. There was nothing I could do to stop it, so I needed to concentrate on what might come next. A minute or two passed. Bend stopped struggling. Tally got up slowly, covered in blood. Most of it wasn’t his. He turned to me, still angry that I continued to hang on. He was just beginning to move in my direction when the door flew off its hinges with a crash.
A dozen black-armored stallions swarmed into the room. Tally turned quickly, but the pony SWAT team had him down on the ground and restrained almost instantly. I saw a flash of white, and Ice was there beside me. He yanked on the rope, which hurt, but managed to get me released. I fell hard on the ground, which also hurt.
Ice rolled me over and considered for a moment the rope that bound my hooves and wings. He gave me a hard look and slapped some hoofcuffs on top of all that. “You’re under arrest.”
“Bite me.”
It was pretty clear he hadn’t ever heard that phrase, and before I was done with him he would probably be hearing a lot more creative figures of speech. After what I had been through, he could have been at least a little nicer, even if I was still a suspect.
Being unable to move in any significant way, I was hauled outside and thrown in a paddy wagon. I thanked my lucky stars I wasn’t sharing it with Tally. The vehicle sat there for a long time while the scene was cleared. I looked through the window. It looked like the sun might be coming up soon. Just how long had I been knocked out?
The wagon moved off eventually. I spent the next few minutes trying to figure out what had happened. I understood that Ice was displeased, but now his mood seemed even more irate than normal. I would have thought he would be pleased to finally be throwing me in the can. Speaking of, where had he dug up enough evidence to do so?
After the paddy wagon stopped, I was pulled out by a couple of officers who carried me into the police station and deposited me on a chair in a small room. I figured it was an interrogation chamber.
The walls were plain and uninteresting. After the ordeal I had been through, I felt tired and began to drift off where I sat I had been sitting for what might have been an hour when Ice suddenly threw open the door and stormed in, jerking me fully awake.
“Do you mind telling me what kind of joke you were trying to pull?” he asked, tossing down a wrinkled piece of paper in front of me. It was the note I had left for him.
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Did you figure out who that mare at the apothecary was?”
“There was no apothecary,” he snarled. “There wasn’t anything. You sent me to an abandoned lot between two buildings.”
“That’s not possible! I was there earlier!”
He seemed slightly taken aback. He’d never seen me raise my voice before or show so much emotion of any kind. Adopting a different tone of voice, he added, “And if you hadn’t sent me on a wild goose chase I probably could have stopped you from getting strung up. Darn lucky we got a tip about the location.”
“Well, at least you can charge Tally with murder,” I pointed out. “I’m sure he was a well known suspect already.”
Ice considered that. He seemed calmer than his initial outburst. “I suppose you’re right. We could never quite catch him before.”
“Speaking of, what am I being charged with?”
He grinned at me and touched the crumpled note. “Littering.”
I stared at him. “Seriously? That isn’t like a monetary fine or something?”
“It’s usually enforced as such because it’s easier for both the perpetrator and the cop, but the law states that I can confine you up to one week if I so choose.”
I thought for a moment and then shrugged, attempting to put on a carefree smile. “Well, my landlord wanted me to find a new place anyway. My boss just died, so I don’t have a job to go back to. In there, I get a free bed and three meals a day.”
Ice rolled his eyes. He got up and opened the door. Another officer helped out of the chair. Instead of carrying me, he let me hop down the hallway to a waiting area. I was told to sit still and be good. Soon I would be processed and taken to prison.
I sighed. I guess I could wait a week, and jail might actually be safer than outside. This wasn’t going to be fun, though, and I hoped I would be able to track down Spangles when I eventually got out so he could assist me. Unless the mysterious pony at the apothecary would be more helpful. I still didn’t know where she stood in all this, and the disappearing shop only added about a dozen more layers to the confusion.
As I sat there, the door opened and Octavia came in. My eyes went wide and I leaned forward to speak to her. She was so focused on the front desk, however, that she walked right past me without noticing.
Stepping up to the police officer on duty, she announced, “I’d like to report a kidnapping.”
“You’re a little late,” I said.
Octavia spun, staring at me in surprise. “Miller! What are you doing here?”
“The police rescued me, and then promptly arrested me for littering.”
“Rescued you? From who?”
I frowned in confusion. “You don’t know?”
A burst of realization hit Octavia. She looked at me intently. “Miller, Ms. Scratch has been kidnapped.”
“What! When did that happen?”
“Not very long ago. I heard an awful din and when I went to investigate a dog was dragging her away. I followed them and they went to that shop where you work.”
“Pardon me, miss,” said the cop behind the desk, “but I’ll need all of this in writing.”
Struggling to stand, I said, “We don’t have time for this. We need to go get her.”
“Sit back down!” ordered the officer.
“Get Detective Ice!” I said. “We know where they’re keeping her, and I have a pretty good idea who the dog is.”
The cop didn’t comply, but Ice heard my shout from down the hall and appeared. “Shut up and sit down, Miller.”
“Have you ever heard of a dog named Muggo?” I asked. From Ice’s raised eyebrows he had. I added, “He kidnapped my neighbor.”
Ice swung his gaze to Octavia. “Who are you?”
She introduced herself. “I own the building where Miller and Vinyl Scratch live.”
I wondered briefly about why she still claimed me as a tenant. I suppose it was true that I hadn’t relocated yet. I broke in. “We need to go. Get me out of these restraints.”
“You aren’t going anywhere.” Ice shoved me back in the seat.
“I can help! They still think I’m with them!”
Ice ignored me and turned back to Octavia. “Tell me everything you know.”
“After she was taken, I followed them to Canterlot Machining and Carpentry. There was at least one pony outside, but I don’t know how many within the building.” Octavia showed him something. “Ms. Scratch dropped this as they were taking her away.”
I looked up. “That’s mine!”
Ice glanced between me and the phone. “What is it?”
I hesitated a moment. There were a couple of ways to play this. I chose the one that I hoped would get us on the path to rescue Vinyl the quickest, other consequences be damned. Turning to Octavia, I held out a hoof and she gave me the phone. “Thank you. Remember how I told you that I’m not from this planet? This is something I brought with me. It’s a weapon.”
“What?” demanded Ice.
“If I’d told you that I was an alien before, would you have believed me?”
“No, and I still don’t.” He moved closer, probably trying to take the phone away.
I pressed the power button and the screen lit up. I whimsically wondered if perhaps I had some missed calls or texts while the phone was dead that would have explained everything about why I was in Equestria. Glancing briefly at the screen, I saw that there was still no service.
Octavia and Ice gasped as I showed them the glowing device. The cop behind the desk struggled to see what they were looking at. I flipped through the icons and picked a picture album. I knew I had a photo of a horse saved somewhere and found it quickly. “Look, I can trap anypony inside this.”
I pulled the phone away before either of them could look at it really closely. Ice looked absolutely dumbfounded, Octavia only slightly less so.
“I don’t want to threaten you Detective, so why don’t you just let me go and I’ll handle this.”
Ice had a tough decision to make. Several seconds passed while he wrestled with it, but eventually decided to go with my plan. He and Octavia got me untied and took away the hoofcuffs. I stretched my wings and headed for the door. Ice shouted at more police to follow. He gave me a look of mistrust, although that really wasn’t much different than the way had had been looking at me since we first met.
Outside, I got off the ground but Octavia called to me. “I want to go.”
“You could get hurt,” I said.
“You could get hurt.”
After a moment to figure out how to lift Octavia, I hooked my front legs with hers and lifted her gently into the air. There wasn’t any time to lose, however, and I had to fly faster than she might be comfortable. Ice followed us off into the dawn sky.
“I should go in first,” I said. “They may not like me, but some of them won’t attack right away.”
I flipped over and with a neat little aerial maneuver, passed Octavia to Ice, also giving her the phone. She didn’t seem all that pleased, but it was her idea to come.
Ice landed on a rooftop, keeping to the shadows. I spiraled down and dropped to the sidewalk outside the front door of the shop. Duster was there. He looked surprised to see me. “What happened? I heard Tally killed Bend and then the cops showed up.”
I wondered how he had learned that. Were there leaks in the police force? In fact, I had noticed other times when his information had been suspiciously good.
“Tally wanted to take care of me before moving on to you. Bend tried to stop him. I got away, and Tally is in custody for murder.” I indicated the band of ruffled hair that encircled my neck. “It was a little unpleasant there for a while.”
Duster grimaced. “I thought he might be trying to bump me off. He wanted to take over everything under Muggo.”
Interesting. So he was the dogfather. The card game had been my first meeting with him. How strange was it that I had accidentally risen so far in the criminal organization to be introduced to the boss?
“So why are you at the shop?” asked Duster.
“I heard Vinyl Scratch was brought here.”
“How did you hear that?” His eyes had gone wide.
“I have my sources, same as you. Let me see her.”
“Muggo’s in there,” said Duster. “You’re close with Vinyl, right? Why would he take her? Did you do something to him?”
“Out of my way,” I growled, moving to push him aside.
Duster jumped backwards in fear and reflexively fired a bolt of magic at me. I got hit straight in the face and it felt like my body shut down for a second. I crumpled to the ground involuntarily.
I started to get up. Duster looked surprised that he had been able to put me on the ground, even if only temporarily. He took a cautious step forward and kicked at my face. The spell had knocked me down, but that’s all. I was still plenty aware and jerked my head just in time to take away most of the force. His hoof slid across my temple and brow, not doing very much.
I popped up, intending to charge him. Fighting was not what I had expected, but flight seemed like a risky proposition. No way would I expose my fleeing back to somepony with magic who didn’t like me.
Duster zapped me again, just in time to avoid being smashed against the building by my rush. I hit the ground again, skidding to a halt in a pile of pegasus at his hooves. I rolled my eyes back as I started to move again. He stood over me, his lips twisting into a grin. “Not so tough now, are you?”
I couldn’t lunge from my current orientation on the ground. His face seemed like a long distance away and difficult to strike at. I wasn’t in position to knock his legs out from under his body.
So I bit him.
Given my reputation, Duster probably thought I was trying to rip his throat out. Truthfully, I would have settled for that. He jerked backwards with a shriek. My teeth weren’t very sharp and didn’t have a grip on much of anything besides skin, but he didn’t know that. It was impossible for him to bend his head to see exactly how I was gripping his neck, and as an added bonus, he wasn’t able to point his horn at me, either.
I pushed him back against the wall, using my wings for extra thrust. Letting go of his neck, I used my forehooves to pound his head against the building. Bang, bang, bang. I kept going until he stopped moving.
I took a step back to draw a breath. Ice and Octavia were suddenly there. I reached for the door, but Ice stopped me. “More police are on the way.”
I gave him a look. “We’ve already lost surprise. There’s no time.”
I threw open the door. Muggo was front and center. Vinyl was bound and blindfolded. I had heard that most unicorns couldn’t perform magic on things they couldn’t see. A couple of griffons and ponies were around, notably Sawtooth and Bucket.
Muggo was surprised, angry, and incredulous all at once. He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. “Let her go.”
He looked side to side at Ice and Octavia. Not hearing sirens or other ponies approaching, he grinned at the three of us. “Maybe not.”
“I’m a police officer,” said Ice forcefully. “I have backup on the way.”
That gave Muggo pause, but only a little. He threw a paw out, to give a “seize them,”-type order. Behind him, I saw Sawtooth and Bucket trade a glance. As one, they knocked Muggo in the back of the head with blunt objects from the workbench that were close at hand.
And then we finally got reinforcements. Police poured into the building. There was nowhere to go, and every suspicious-looking character was apprehended before they could escape.
Octavia and I ran over to the restrained unicorn. She blinked in the light when the blindfold was removed. Sitting up, Vinyl looked around. “Jeeze Miller, what did you do this time?”
I laughed. We got her untied and back on her hooves. Leaving her with Octavia, I walked over to where Ice was talking to Sawtooth and Bucket. They were cuffed, but not with extreme prejudice.
“We didn’t hear that Bend was dead,” explained Bucket.
“So when we showed up this morning to work, we got roped into this crazy hostage situation,” added Sawtooth.
I believed them, and said as much to Ice. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were more innocent than I was. I didn’t tell him that.
Somepony tapped on my shoulder and I turned. It was the mare from the vanishing shop. “What are you doing here?” I exclaimed.
“I came as soon as I heard. You’ve been busy, Mr. Miller.”
Ice looked up. “You heard? I don’t recognize you. Are you some kind of Fed?”
She smiled, partially polite, partially amused. “I have a position with the government, yes.”
I looked around, seeing nothing left to do that commanded immediate action on my part. The cops were taking care of things, and there was nopony else that need to either be rescued or beat up. I turned back to her. “So what can I do for you?”
“I’d like to help you go back to your planet.”
Ice’s ears shot up and he whirled around. It was even funnier because he couldn’t come up with anything to say in reply other than, “Whaaa?”
I nodded to the mare. “I’d like that very much. How did you find out?”
“Spangles passed me your note. I’ve been following you closely since then. You may have noticed a few pieces of good luck coming your way.”
My mouth opened and closed. It was a little lackluster to know that I’d had surreptitious help, but heartening to know that somepony cared. Perhaps it had been her that tipped off Ice about the place where Tally was holding me. “Thank you.”
Ice was still looking at us. The mare steered me away, glancing back at him. “I’ll handle things from here, Detective.”
We walked away. Once out of earshot of interested parties, I asked, “So how am I getting home?”
“I’ll handle that. I have duties to attend to now, but tonight after the sun is down I’ll be free. I’m sure you want to return as soon as possible, but I’m also sure there are a few goodbyes you’d like to say.”
I nodded. She gave me a rather radient smile and departed. I realized I hadn’t caught her name. Oh well, I could ask later when the sun was down.
I walked over to the two musicians. They seemed to be on better terms with each other than before. Octavia still had my phone. She seemed disapproving of Vinyl trying to manipulate it. “I think it’s dangerous.”
“Well, not really, but I guess there might be an app for that.” I ducked my head. “Sorry for saying it was a weapon. Probably the strangest lie I’ve ever told.”
“I was skeptical from the start,” said Ice. I quickly swung the phone up and snapped his picture. He winced, but recovered quickly, glaring at me. I showed him the image and he snorted.
“Once again, I’m really sorry for all of this. I tried to make the best of getting dropped here, but I really ended up in the wrong line of work.” The four of us began moving towards the door. Duster and Muggo were cuffed and guarded outside. I glanced at them
Vinyl laughed. “Dude, you got the top criminal in Canterlot and one of his most powerful underlings arrested.”
Ice sighed and rolled his eyes. He didn’t disagree, however. “Make that two. We have Tally in custody.”
“Well, now that all of that is done with, I think we all could use a good rest,” said Octavia. She looked up at the morning sun. “Perhaps breakfast.”
“No kidding,” I said. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”
Duster flinched. I tried to keep a grin off my face. We kept walking, leaving the shop behind.
Ice gave me a look. “Miller, if you really are an alien, I hope you make your way home. And don’t come back.”
“Thanks, I guess. While I don’t really like you either, I can tell you’re good at what you do. Thank you for helping me get things sorted out.”
Ice actually cracked a smile, but it was gone as soon as it had come. He turned and walked away.
“So I suppose this is goodbye,” said Octavia.
“Not quite. I talked to somepony earlier who can help. I have until sundown.”
Vinyl squealed. “Come on! Let’s go to Oven’s for a quick bite to eat, and then I want to hear some of your music.”
Octavia nodded in agreement. “I would be interested to hear it, too.”
“I’d love to hang out with you two and just relax for a while,” I said. “I’m glad this is all over.”
“I don't think it's particularly right to celebrate some ponies getting arrested, but I think we all agree that it couldn't have happened to better candidates," said Octavia.
Vinyl grinned. "That's one thing to celebrate. Plus, we have to do something to give you a good send-off, Miller. Might as well make it a party.”
I grinned. “I guess that’s one way to make an alien feel at home.”
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Well it isn't ending that i hoped for but knowing my imagination my ending would sucked. Hope for sequel or something similar to this story.
And by the way good job.
Another super abrupt ending though.
EDIT: Just to be clear, I actually liked Miller a lot. You could've ended this chapter at say, where Muggo gets knocked out, and then made another chapter about the wrap-up.
Thanks for the adventure. See you on the next one.
Nice ending, enjoyed it alot
I don't trust that mare. She seems... shifty.
Also I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you write the chapters during the week and release them then move on to the next? Or are you already a few chapters ahead with your writing?
1858001 I actually write on the fly. Generally as soon as something is past the editors, it gets posted.
Oh, seems like Miller is going to have a happy ending. Unless your going to go with a twistending?
And was that Celestia in disguise?
Heh, anyway, good story mate.
Ah, just noticed the completed sign at the bottom.
Thanks for the read then, was a good story to follow.
1858012 Maybe
Claiming the phone was a weapon in that particular way was absolutely brilliant. I would have liked to see a bit more of what happened after the action, though.
This has been a really fun read.... Thanks for writing it.
See, this is usually the part where everything explodes.
Aw, I was hoping this story would have been longer.
I feel like I just walke out of a theater after watching a really goo movie. Excellent job with this.
totallynotawordsmith.
Epic story here. Kudos.
That felt incredibly rushed, and a bit lower quality than the rest of the story.
I am guessing you are trying to wrap up and reach an end?
Heheh, I knew "eat a horse" was coming eventually.
Helped who?
*Radiant
That was one of the best HiE stories I've ever read.
That is how you hand the Mafia your resignation!
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8055-Beautiful.gif
1858466 If you want to write a sequel, I'll link to it.
This is my favorite HiE story. I should probably get to reading your other stuff.
So wait there's going to be a sequel?
1858632 There is if you write it.
1858643 nah, I already have alot on my plate at the moment.
Someone write a fucking sequel. Someone who isn't me, for the love of god, I never get anything done. This fucking story, dude. Epic. Now then, time to enjoy my late christmas presents! Mass Effect 2, HO!
Well I'm kinda sad to see this story end... then again I'm sad to see EVERY story that I like end. Of course I personally don't envy Miller's position. To have friends in one world and some in another. And then to know that you'll never see them again. To be trapped between worlds... that's actually something I've been thinking about trying to explore in some of my own writing (if I ever finish the stuff!) a character trying to avoid becoming so trapped between worlds.
But anyways, that yee for the tale.
It has been a fun and interesting journey.
Man, this is so cool, I never want it to end... :(
Well, that bit made my day.
Maybe I just missed it, but I didn't actually see any explanation for why Miller was in Equestria. I understand the how, with the involvement of the mysterious mare and magic, but not the why. But then I figured the why was supposed to be inferred. So here's my guess.
The mare was a middle-aged Twilight Sparkle, who followed in Zecora's
footstepshoofsteps (Hence running the apothecary) and reached the next level in magic thanks to Celestia. Basically, she became enlightened. As a result, middle-aged Twilight Sparkle knows more than most about the nature of reality, life, meaning, truth, etc, and brought Miller to Equestria for reasons beyond the comprehension of normal mortal minds.Now, how close am I?
1859110 Honestly, that makes more sense than anything I came up with. I try to write with an open interpretation in mind, so it spawns theories like this.
1859454 Do you mean to say that there is no right answer? That puts a bit of a damper on finding it.
All the same, I enjoyed your story very much. It's actually the first HIE I've read all the way through, because it was that good. In summary:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQqe806ozFKm5-u9rEoiqFjfnvGZDi7iD0HHwA3ZdGtF_STjiFGVg
Very awesome story. Wish it was longer though, oh well good things come to an end and such.
Also liked the approach of not telling us how he got there. 1- Human (arrives) in Equestria, 2- human does stuff in Equestria, 3 human leaves Equestria, 4- DONE!
Also, I didn't read this story for the longest time because the cover pic didn't jump out at me. I judge stories by there cover pic. Just read the whole story in like 2 hours from start to fin.
1859110
All mystery ponies are Countess de la Cheer. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cheerilee.png
Story is ending?
NOPE! Big plot twist thrown in by Celestia being a troll (possibly for personal reasons like managing to take out a few top dogs [no pun intended. Or pun intended. Whichever is funnier] in the crime industry and wanting him to do more of it). Think about it, endless possibilities.
Sending him back to Vanhoover and having to deal with the fat cops.
Possible relationship with Vinyl (romantic or friendly)
Corruption in Ponyville.
The possibilities are endless when it comes to a trolling Celestia!
Good stuff as always mate and nice way of handling the whole get sent home thing. It's the best way i've seen to manage it til now.
1858032 I remember in one of the earlier chapters that it was said that Miller had to use his tongue to use the touchscreen on his phone. One wonders what he must have gotten on his bluff check to convince them that the device that he just licked to death is a weapon.
i love the ending. and the story was great. kept me commin back for more.
1866751 The begining really could have been taken several ways. I just prefer to write about violent external conflict because I like that sort of thing.
1894625 You're right, I tagged it Dark. Thanks for reading. I try to be a different kind of writer, even if the beginings are sometimes a little cliche.
Arrgh! I hate endings like that.
Sequel. Now. No exceptions.
No.
No.
Yes.
No.
Just well done. I have read more than a few stories on this site and I think this is an excellent story. Really. No Gary Stu, excellent grammar, no deus ex machina, good character developement and a good flow to the story. You sir (yes the infamous internet "sir") are a wordsmith. Please write more.
You must simply play Yellow Submarine, ponies listening to The Beatles is beyond perfect. Also Vinyl had a taste of it before, and it's one of my favorite songs, and did I mention that I like all things Naval? Including subs, my favorite being the WWI ear S-boats.
Oh, almost forgot, nice work, I loved this too bad it's ending so soon.
Why did I put it off for so long?
2227886 This.
I find it funny that the pegasus we see has his wings on his rump.
2416628 I think it's just a trick of the posture he's flying in. That image is a recolor of something I pulled straight from the show.
2417410
Huh. Nothing.
Just finished reading this so I could have a better grasp on Millie. I loved it! You obviously have some experience with metal fabrication, your descriptions of machine tools and processes were quite accurate. One of my many moneymaking skillsets happens to be precision machining and custom metalworking, so I could definitely relate to many aspects of the beginning of this story. You made a blogpost a while back asking people's thoughts on what you may be like in person, one which I didn't take part in due to lack of background info. This story however has given me a bit of insight to your background... more things to add to my personal profile of you. I'll figure you out eventually TNaB... It is one of my special talents after all, and I'm pretty good at what I do. Looking forward to reading Millie, if it's anything like this it will be a blast to read!
Although your stories aren't always my cup of tea, this one had a very pleasant blend of comedy, slice of life, and even action. It left me thoroughly amused. Thanks!
When I read "how about a sequel" I actually said "All my yes!" out loud. I hope you're proud of yourself! Seriously. So, awesome!
Onwards!! To the next adventure!
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
All in all the fic was a 7/10.
The main character was too predictable and not soo interesting. (Which was a big downer.)
Everything was way too based and as detailed as a white paper with two yellow and orange stripes.
It would of been a 8/10 if the main character wasn't so dull.
Came from TvTropes.