Meeting the Parents
“How’s that looking?”
“It’s fine.” I turn my head from side to side, examining my haircut. “Could be a little shorter in the back, if you don't mind.”
“No problem.” The brown-coated hairdresser raises her scissors again, and I once more feel the slight tugs on the back of my hair, accompanied by the faint ‘snip’ as my hair is trimmed back a little more.
It’s been like this for the last half hour. Obviously, no hairdresser in Equestria would have experience with cutting human hair, which means that for the entirety of my trim I’ve had to specifically explain how it needs to be cut. So far it’s shaping up well. There’s only a couple of months of excess hair to get rid of, which was hanging to the bottom of my earlobes. Now it’s been shortened back with a standard trimming – which you wouldn’t think would require that much instruction, but it did.
I’m starting to get more than a little stir crazy. I’ve been sitting here for nearly double the time a simple trim would take back home, and this chair isn’t exactly comfortable. Ponies tend to sit on stools more than actual chairs, so there’s no back support. I’m also starting to get a bit irritated by Rarity, who’s been carefully disposing of any hair before it can come into contact with my clothes.
The door to the salon lets out a little 'tinkle' as it opens, and I glance in the mirror to see Twilight and Applejack approaching from behind.
“Well, that’s all taken care of.” Applejack reports. “Personally, ah wanted t’ give that stallion one heck of a whooping... but ah guess this works too.”
“What happened?” I ask, unable to turn to look at them properly while my hair is still being trimmed.
“I went and found a guard, and we went to have a talk with the clerk.” Twilight replies. “Oh, and we got you this.” Her horn lights up, lifting a navy blue book from her bag. “Is this the one you were trying to buy?”
I glance at the cover through the mirror, unable to read the backwards text in the reflection. “Yeah. I – uh – think so.” I trip over my words as I attempt to nod, only to remember that there’s still a pair of scissors hovering around my head.
“Uhh… okay then, so how’s the haircut going?” Twilight nods, and places the book back in her bag. That surprises me. I would have thought she would have something to say about whether or not I need to be more culturally sensitive.
“Nearly done – and looking pretty good, too.” A glance at the stylist confirms that my compliment was well received. “So… what the hell was all that? What did that stallion think was going to happen when he did that?”
“Uhh… he probably didn’t think about it at all.” Twilight scuffs a hoof at the floor, seeming a little hesitant to explain. “He’s a unicorn-supremacist – like Trixie – and apparently this isn’t the first time he’s been accused of discrimination.”
“A unicorn-supremacist?” I’m surprised that I was actually right. “Really? How do people like that function in such a diverse world?”
“Well, it’s easier in Canterlot because of the high percentage of unicorns.” Twilight glances at Applejack. “And apparently most of the other accusations were from zebras, or earth ponies. There aren't many of either in the area, which would explain how he's been able to go so long without any significant altercations.”
“That no-good low-life.” Applejack chips in heatedly.
I want to nod, but I can’t. I suppose a unicorn-supremacist would be able to at least tolerate the two other pony species, and living in a place like Canterlot would make for a lot less interactions with ‘undesirables’. However, there’s still one thing that bugs me.
“But what did he think was going to happen? That I’d just walk away, and that’d be the end of it?”
“Well… like I said, he probably didn’t think about it at all. Racism isn’t a rational reaction, and the way he treated you at first was most likely reflexive.”
I give a little sigh, pursing my lips. “Fun way to start the day. I run into one of the few nut-jobs this city has to offer – right?”
“Uhh… Supremacist ponies are pretty sparse, yes.” Twilight confirms, which lifts my spirits.
I think it’s fair to say that this morning hasn’t played out as I expected. I still wouldn’t call it completely bad, and I haven’t had my mood ruined. What kind of person would I be if a let this ruin my entire day? People on earth can go through worse, and so can I.
I’ll admit, though, that I really wanted to hit that stallion. It goes without saying that once I told the others, Applejack and Rainbow were both ready to charge in there and kick some racist ass. That’s the entire reason I left the store before telling them. The last thing we needed was to make a scene involving two mares betting the crap out of some bookstore clerk.
I’m still not sure whether or not I should have tried to fight him. Looking at things in hindsight, there’s a good chance that I wouldn’t have been able to win. I’m not that fit, after all.
“Okay then, how’s that?” The hairdresser takes a step back.
“That’s good.” I nod, examining my hair in the vanity mirror. “How much?”
“Twenty four bits, thanks.”
“Right.” I reach into my pocket, counting out the bits by touch. “Uhh… yeah. Here you go.”
“Thanks very much.” The hairdresser’s horn lights up again as she plucks the money from my palm.
“Oh my, I think it looks wonderful!” Rarity – who is now relieved of her hair-catching duties – compliments as I stand up. "Quite elegant in its simplicity."
I consider telling her that it’s just a trim, but I can’t help but feel that would be a little too rude. Instead I simply lean forward and run my hands through my hair, knocking out as many of the loose hairs as I can.
“Uhh… thanks.” I straighten up and retrieve my cane from its resting place against the counter, before checking the clock on the wall. “Oh wow. It’s after twelve. Who wants lunch?”
“Dear Jacob,” Rarity replies quickly, drawing a quietly muttered ‘Keys’ from me. “I’d hardly feel at ease if we were all eating while you had to just sit there and watch. It wouldn’t be at all proper.”
I shrug. “I can go without eating. I’ll just have something at the palace.”
Twilight clears her throat, cutting off a response from Rarity. “Actually, I was talking with Maneworthy yesterday before he had to leave.” She falls silent for a second, providing an opening for a response that most people on Earth wouldn’t provide.
“And?” I gesture slightly with my hand as the four of us migrate towards the door of the small salon.
“Well, he said that we can start ‘weaning’ you off of the treated food. We’re meant to start with low-calorie stuff, so I think you could... maybe... get some salad."
“Well… that sounds good.” I lie through my teeth. At the moment, I’d really like some more of that bacon they served back at the clinic. Any meat at all would be great, considering that I never ate the sausage meat from last night. That said, I’m extremely hungry, and salad should suffice.
“So, again; does anyone want lunch?”
***
“Your meals.” Our waiter says simply, depositing our food in front of us in pairs.
We’re sitting at a large outdoor table of what looks to be a fairly up-scale eatery. From what I can tell it isn’t one of the omnivore-serving restaurants that Maneworthy mentioned, but that’s not really relevant. According to Twilight, I’m still not ready to eat untreated meat.
I watch as the ponies and I receive our dishes; two slices of apple pie for Applejack and Pinkie., and five lettuce salads for the rest of us. I wonder if Equestrian salads are different from Earth salads. I think they might be a staple food, so maybe they’ll be different somehow
I glance up as my plate comes to a stop to see that the others are already eating. Following their example, I pick up a leaf of iceberg lettuce with my fingers – as the salad doesn’t come with cutlery – and take a bite. I can’t help but feel a little disappointed as I realise that it doesn’t taste any different from lettuce on Earth, but at least it’s something to eat.
I look around the table at the other ponies, who are still eating. It’s actually nice to know that they aren’t worrying about me for the change. It makes me feel less reliant… a little more independent, I guess.
I suppose this is what I’ve been waiting for. A nice day of doing normal stuff and having fun is just what I wanted – even if the experience has been tainted by racism.
Feeling reasonably upbeat, I proceed to eat the remainder of the lettuce leaf, before going to work on the rest of my salad. “I can’t believe that the chefs could actually bleach substance out of lettuce. Isn’t it like… ninety percent water?”
“Ninety five.” Twilight corrects me, looking up from her meal briefly.
“Right.” I nod, and we both return to eating.
I have to add here that it’s an interesting opportunity to watch ponies eat. Rarity and Twilight pick up lettuce leaves one at a time with their magic, while Rainbow and Fluttershy use the ambient telekinesis that the tips of their wings seem to have.
I’m not entirely sure what earth ponies use, though. I’d imagine that they’d generally hold cutlery with the ambient telekinesis their hooves possess – but I can’t be sure because Applejack’s resting her pie slice on her hooves so that she can take hearty bites, and Pinkie… I don’t even know. She was done eating before I looked. I don’t want to think about it right now.
Rarity and Fluttershy are chatting quietly by this point, and Pinkie’s already starting to look restless. It’s now that I realize that if I don’t stop staring at everypony and finish up my food the others will be waiting on me – and that'll just be another entry in a long list of the inconveniences I've caused.
With that in mind, I look back down at my food and retrieve a handful of leaves – which I then proceed to eat.
And of course, that’s when I’m interrupted by the sound of a stallion loudly clearing his throat.
“Excuse me.”
“Ugh.” I crease my eyebrows in irritation as I drop my lettuce back to the plate and turn to the source of the distraction. “Yes?”
I’m presented with the sight of four grim looking unicorns; two mares and two stallions. Both stallions look notably aged, as does one of the mares. The second mare looks to be considerably younger than the other three unicorns, but her face is no less serious. She herself looks rather sad as well.
The three older ponies all look to be roughly the age of Rarity’s parents, with streaks of grey through their hair. One of the stallions – who has a light brown coat with a waxed dark brown mane – is in a full ‘pony suit’, which is pretty much what you’d expect. It's basically a dark brown business-suit top with a white shirt and red tie, minus the pants. The only clothes worn by the other stallion is a white neck collar with a blue tie to compliment his cream coloured coat and combed-back brown mane.
The older mare sports a faded blue coat with a cream coloured mane that does a good job at playing down the grey hairs it contains done up in an elegant bun. She’s not wearing any clothing, save for what I think is a pearl necklace. The only pony who looks out of place in the group is the younger teal-coated mare, who is neither wearing any accessories nor styling her long white-blue mane.
“You’re the… Piano Man, yes?” The unclothed stallion asks tentatively as I turn around in my seat to stare at his face. It’s creased with multiple lines, many of which are focused around his eyes, making them look extremely tired. “I wondered if we might have a word.”
For no reason other than checking their responses, I glance at my eating companions. They all look as baffled as I feel.
After a large amount of hesitation, I turn back to the four ponies and ease myself to my feet. “I suppose I am. What’s it about?”
“It concerns the trial, sir.” The stallion wearing the suit replies in a cautious tone. “We’d like to discuss the proceedings.”
I give a little sigh, and nod my head at the Elements. “Can it wait? We’re having lunch.”
“Please, sir.” The stallion in the suit clears his throat slightly. “My clients have come all the way from Manehattan. All they request is a moment of your time.
I do an immediate double take, in the form of glancing at Twilight, then returning my gaze to the suited pony – who I think is a lawyer – and then suddenly shifting my eyes back to Twilight, who’s face has adopted an extremely startled expression to match my own. She told me that Trixie’s family was made up out of Manehattan industrialists. It’s almost certain that these are them.
Now considerably more interested – and worried – I turn back to the Lulamoons and their lawyer, gesturing with my hand to the café’s empty other table situated across the store-front from us. “Alright then. Let’s talk.”
The lawyer and who can only be Mr. Lulamoon both nod silently, their actions looking notably ‘soft’ in nature. All four of them are exuding a constant air of concern and worry, which is more than natural for a family who has an immediately related member facing charges by the government.
I hesitantly glance back at the others, before following the four newcomers to the vacant table, taking the seat with it’s back to my friends, which positions me as close to them as possible. I’m not sure what to expect here. Bribery? Threats? I hope to god that it isn’t pleading.
“You’re Trixie’s family.” I say simply. There’s absolutely no question to be asked here, as it’s obvious that they are. All I’m doing is acknowledging the fact.
“We are.” Mr. Lulamoon speaks quietly. “I was hoping I might have a word with you.”
I give a little shrug, “You’ve got it. I suppose you want to convince me to drop the charges.”
The older ponies share a collective glance between the three of them, before Mr. Lulamoon speaks again. “I understand how unlikely it is that you will agree to our request-”
“Impossible.” I correct him bluntly. “There’s no way I’m dropping the charges.”
The left corner of Mr. Lulamoon’s mouth twitches slightly in what I find to be a very worrying reaction. Once coupled with the deep bags under his eyes and the strain in his voice it makes it clear just how stressed the stallion is.
“-And yet…” He coughs awkwardly, apparently making no effort to portray an image of the typical confident industrialist. “…I would very much appreciate it if you would hear me out.”
“I’m telling you right now that it’s not going to work.” I reply, my face set in an irritated scowl.
Trixie’s mother is the one who replies to my refusal, and it’s when she finally speaks that I realise the mare is on the verge of tears.
“If it’s a question of bits, we can pay whatever your price is.” The scratchy ‘hiccupy’ edge to her voice grates against my nerves. “Just name it.”
“I don’t want money.” I reply coldly. “I want Trixie to pay for what she’s done.”
“There must be something we can offer.” The younger mare – who I assume to be Trixie’s sister – suddenly speaks with a heated voice that is belied by her tired exterior. “Property. Valuables. Promises. What do you want?”
I give a pointed sigh of frustration. “I don’t want anything from you. All I want is for that monster to get the punishment she deserves.”
“She’s no monster!” Mrs. Lulamoon suddenly shouts at me. “She’s my daughter!”
“She is a monster!” I shout back at her, standing up angrily. “She’s a horrible pony who will do anything to get ahead, even if it involves enslaving, mind-raping and torturing a defenceless creature!”
I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself as the four ponies all stare at me with varying degrees of anger and disbelief. “I don’t know how much you’ve been told about what’s happened, but I sincerely doubt that you know the whole story – because if you did, you wouldn’t be supporting her.”
“She’s our daughter, and we still love her.” Trixie’s father replies. It seems like my adamant refusal has knocked most of the fight out of him, judging by how completely deflated and worn down he looks as opposed to earlier, when he was retaining some semblance of composure. “And we don’t want to lose her.”
I stare at the stallion for a second, unable to believe that he just said that. “You’re afraid of losing your daughter? You don’t want to lose your egotistical, psychotic unicorn-supremacist daughter?” My already deep scowl becomes even heavier with my words. “I lost everything, and your daughter was the one who took it from me!”
Trixie's sister is looking away, staring at the wall of the café with watery eyes. Her mother looks so close to tears that I can't stand it. The thought that a fully grown mare could break down and cry because of me is almost unbearable. The only pony who doesn't have a face like somepony just killed their dog is the lawyer, who appears both resigned and slightly confused.
I take a step back, planting my walking stick solidly on the ground while attempting to keep a straight face in the midst of a family on the verge of breaking down into a group crying-session. Applejack and rainbow Dash have come to stand on either side of me, with both of them looking more than ready to fight the source of my own distress.
“Thanks for taking the time to talk to me, but I’m not dropping the charges.” I shake my head angrily. “Trixie’s going to see justice for what she did to me, and you can’t stop it.”
"You can't do this!" Mrs. Lulamoon suddenly shouts in response as tears start to flow from the corners of her eyes. "You can't take my daughter from me!"
I swallow tensely, realizing that my own throat feels extremely tight. This entire scenario is not one I thought I'd have to go through, and I feel awful about telling these ponies this – and that I've acted so cold and heartless about it.
"I'm sorry." My voice cracks ever so slightly as I speak, drawing concerned glances from the ponies on either side of me. "This isn't about you. This is about justice being served. I can't let her just walk away after what she's done..." I take a sharp breath. "...No matter what it means to you."
With those words spoken, Trixie's sister slumps over in her seat, seemingly having lost all her resolve. Mr. Lulamoon leans over to comfort his wife, who has now broken down into ragged sobs.
Rainbow reaches out with one wing and tugs cautiously at my arm. "Come on big guy. Let's go."
I linger for a moment as the two mares turn away from the devastated group, Can I really do this? can I really just drop this on them like that – and in such a horrible way?
Feeling the first pricks of tears in my eyes, I turn my back on the family and move back to the Elements, who have abandoned their seats.
As a group they usher me out into the street, headed back towards the castle. We've only moved a dozen or so meters when Mrs. Lulamoon lets fly again, apparently still not done.
"NO! You can't do this! You can't do this to us!" She shrieks as we leave. "You can't just take her from us! It isn't right!"
I take another sharp breath, her every word cutting at me. It's true... even after everything that's happened – all the horrors, all the atrocities, and all the violence – it still isn't right.
And yet it has to be done, because at the same time it's completely right.
The ponies ferry me up the street, which has become much more densely populated since midday. The ponies in front part as we approach, with the majority of the crowd staring at either us or the screaming mare back at the café, most of their expressions taking the form of varying levels of concerned intrigue.
It's horrible.
The seven of us keep moving at a fast pace until we're nearly at the palace, which is when the shrieking and screaming finally fades away entirely, leaving nothing in its place but the standard 'bustling' sound of Canterlot at midday. It's at this point that Twilight finally turns to me.
"What happened back there? Are you alright?"
I look at her for a second, before raising my hands to my face and cupping them around my eyes. I take a deep breath, before slowly letting it out and lowering my hands to look at the lavender mare.
"No, Twilight... no I'm not." I speak slowly, turning my head to look back the way we came. "I just destroyed what was probably a family's last hope..."
I turn back to the mares wiping one hand at my eyes to make sure that none of the threatening tears hiding behind them can escape. I wasn't expecting any of this. I never even considered it as a possibility.
After pausing for a few seconds, I take yet another breath.
"And I never even stopped to learn their names."
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Author's Note:
Am I happy with this chapter? I'm not entirely sure. I think it does well to dispel any illusion of Saint Keys. Hopefully it doesn't make you all hate him.
Obviously, I'd like to apologize for the two-week long delay. Life got in the way and Halo 4 came out, but that isn't overly significant.
So... I guess that's it. In the words of the Joker: Hit me.
Sweet Celestia, an update. Oh yes.
The poor family, I can see where they're coming from, but they can't pin that blame on anyone but their daughter. At last though, things are moving with the trial!
Saint Keys?
What, can't he be a decent human being? Since he's decent, he has to be a saint?
And for what it's worth, he didn't destroy anything. He didn't tell Trixie to capture him and turn him to a slave, and he didn't make Trixie assault a Princess and National Heroes.
What Trixie's family seems to fail to understand is that Trixie was the one that destroyed them. Not Keys. Trixie. She's an adult, responsible for her actions. Granted, her supremacist attitude may stem from her upbringing, so it could also be partially the family's fault, but still mainly her's. Scapegoating Keys isn't going to change the truth.
Should Keys feel bad? No. But he will, coz he's a decent individual.
1656499
Nah, I think you did a most excellent job with the confrontation at the end of the chapter with Trixie's family and Keys. It takes an awful lot for a typical family to abandon a child/sibling/spouse/loved one to such a fate, and with them trying to meet with Keys to have him drop the charges falls well in line with that outlook. Him refusing to drop them, and the whole confrontation scene was very realistic, and I think you should be happy with it, as it adds to the emotion of this story, dealing with the aftermath of the trauma.
And correct me if I am wrong, as I do not recall this, but did this story at one point have the Romance tag? I started reading it when it hit the feature box on an update (First story was a bit too dakr/tragic for me, so I got your cliffnotes). I'm probably mixing it up with something else, but had to ask. Anyways, it is a most excellent chapter here, and I am looking forward to seeing how Keys heals from the trauma and how his character develops.
P.S. Halo 4? Eeeeeew. Never been a fan of the franchise, and Microsoft folks are fucking morons. I saw the advert about playing X hours of Halo 4 online and getting Y Microsoft Points. I believe the math came out to something like 4 cents per hour of gameplay. Fucking Microsoft. I swear me being bad at shooters has nothing to do with my hate for the franchise either!
It's nice to see a differnt viewpoint
I feel no sympathy to your version of trixie, maybe some to her family but none to her I mean here is a rough list of crimes she committed kidnapping and enslaving a sentient creature in a way that would prevent him from returning home, torture, planed to murder him once she was done with him, and when twilight and candece found out she was planning to kill them to prevent anyone from finding out the truth so add plans to kill a member of the royal family, and celestia's personal student, and when she finally showed a sliver of remorse her actions for when he tried to kill himself and even then she snapped right back to how she was acting right away. I'm surprised she has not been sealed away like the rest of the villains had been.
For goodness fucking sake, if I was ever in such a situation I wouldn't show mercy at all. I'd probably just find out why exactly are they doing this, and their background, then scream out all that she done to me at them. And the mom. I know I'm "heartless", but I'll just say " Your daughter's a monster, and I am not dropping charges."
What the actual fuck... why the hell did I even bother typing all this out... good job for immersing my emotions into this single chapter author. I love you... and fuck you.
1656563
Miss Cheerilee: And do you see this unicorn. Do you know what she represents? Yes, that's right class. She represents what happens when you f--k with Royalty.
Okay, that was bad. I'm sorry.
1656581 Actually I think you response was hilarious
I was expecting a type of cold clever evil calculating family that was going to stop at nothing to get what they want. So many scenarios of intrigue and backstabbing and threats etc but I sure didn't expect a broken groveling family. I did like every part of this chapter. The quick and easy dismissal of an idiot bigot at the bookshop, the quaintness of a lunch with friends, then shattering everything with a broken family. That was a heart break. I liked the way that progressed though; better than having to deal with a whole family of manipulative monsters.
That was a lot of stuff to stick in one chapter but I like how you made it work. It seems that the outing is done for the day and that's too bad. I wouldn't have minded if he did some other stuff around town, ran into some other characters from the show then get mobbed by the parents but this still works out splendidly. Never was paying attention to any grammar or spelling errors so I don't know where there would be mistakes. Too busy enjoying the story to be distracted by that.
On a side note, funny thing was when I saw the title of your chapter I was thinking something along the lines of chance run in with Twilight's parents. Never thought of Trixie's parents until Keys figured it out.
1656541
Can I get an amen here?! Booyah!! What he said!
He cannot change what happened in the past, but the hardest part I think is for him to forgive Trixie for what she has done. Don't get me wrong she did commit heinous crimes that should not go unpunished, But to tear an entire family apart like that, to me at least is just as brutal as what she originally did to him. Instead of being locked up in a jail cell for the rest of her life, why not a boatload of community service or some other alternative? In the beginning of this story I was all for "BURN HER AT THE STAKE" but now with the family becoming involved and seeing how they were shattered about the news of their daughter/sister, I can't see how he can go through with it. Personally I don't think I could do it. Anywhooo that's just me sympathizing not for her, but for the family's and his own well-being.
PS. Fantastic chapter by the way! Keep it up and as always. Have a good one
I honestly don't think Keys could stop it now, even if he wanted to.
There is so much evidence that Trixie committed unspeakable crimes, and it's become such a massive, public case.
Something this horrendous, and one that has been so public (This would be Equestria wide news, with the very furthest village having heard of Trixie having summoned an alien, tortured him, enslaved him, refused to feed him, paraded him around like an animal, and was going to kill him), MUST be punished, and made an example of. And that's not including the attempted murder of two national heroes, Twilight and Rarity, and a member of Royalty, Cadence.
She is so deep in the shit, there is nothing that can pull her out now. Nothing. The courts, and Celestia/Luna, cannot afford to let this go. They can't afford to let any of it go. They'll go through with it even if he begs.
its great to another chapter. i have to say though if i were in this situation I would show little to no remorse, good to see that he still isn't even going to consider dropping charges. that would have killed the story for me and no doubt all your other readers as well
1656588
1656604
Uh, should I start singing like a choir or....
hehe.
But I think almost everyone here is saying the same thing. So, let's have Flutters say the singular truth of everything.
Keys always seemed a bit too whiny to be a saint.
In any case, not that impressed with this chapter, looking forward to future updates though.
1656499 If anything, Keys still is a saint for worrying about the Lulamoons' condition. They were the ones that raised Trixie after all - if anything, half the blame is on their heads.
Do not fret, this was an excellent chapter, Cloud. Even if it took a bit longer, you really delivered.
Well, I do like what you did with this chapter. For the entirety of the story we have had but one side Key's (Jacob's) but in an issue like this there's always two sides. This is a part of Trixie's side and I believe it's only the beginning, which is brilliant (if prediction holds).
Decency doesn't mean being a saint it means having a certain standard of respect for a fellow being, when that standard is brutally eviscerated a la Trixie, all bets were off. Keys is still a person, leaning toward the good side, but he has limits, and they've been erased for the time being by Trixie's actions. The reason this causes much grief is because Trixie is alive, had she died then there would be no need to drag this out, there would have been a brief amount of grief (or entire giant backlash) but there would have been over a definitive end (by law of story).
This situation in which she's alive is much worse because it's affecting her victim constantly from both the external and the internal as well as her family since they hold out hope to help her (imprinting, social bonds, genetic altruism, etc don't care that she's a monster she's family so that's why they fight for her) leading to a giant mess in which neither can back down and if one particular side backs down a dreadful power dynamic is created that lasts until they both expire. It's when both people that a crime affects the perpetrator and the victim are alive that the most dangerous levels of stress and disbalance are caused.
In the heat of a moment there's a moral suspension of certain actions, but when it dies down and things are back to normal; they don't. I would still sell her down a river, unless there's evidence of lack of healthy mental function, or whatever else comes to mind, this is a very tenacious issue in law and very sticky and painful but my take is he should have made sure she was dead in the first place from when he broke out, a lot less messy.
TL;DR
Trixie is family her family will do whatever it takes because she's part of their family. My opinion: make an example of her unless she's in need of 20-30 years of mental help. Should have killed her in the first place.
Good job author, Love it!
1656578
I know right?
When Trixie's mom yelled, "You can't take my daughter from me!" I could just picture myself in that position because he's gotten me to 'understand' the character's situation and the emotion that he feels. And then thinking of how I'd deal with being in his place.
Though my reaction would be more along the lines of coldly looking down at the family, planting my cane, and listing off each one of the tortures I was subjected to and saying that if it were up to me Trixie would be subjected to each and every one before finally being allowed to die. But unfortunately that is not going to happen so I'm going to console myself with having them put down a monster in mare form and living off the money she made from said torture and imprisonment. My only regret being that I would not be able to be the one who puts the noose around her vile little neck.
But I'm completely aware that I'm quite a bit more petty and likely to hold a grudge than Keys.
It occurs to me that I may have put a bit more thought into this than I realized.
Curse you Cloud for getting me so into this story!
*cackles* HAHAHA SUCK IT TRIXIE! Maybe they'll go easy on you in the showers (probably not).
A truley great chapter, adding Trixies family was just brilliant.
When Trixie's sister suggested promises, the only thing I could think of was Keys demanding they promise that Trixie rot in a jail cell for the rest of her life.
1656694 Aaah yes, somepony who agrees. Yeah,especially that line. Reading that put this thought in my head that said " SELFISH BITCH". Also,they're rich, so they're probably used to getting what they wanted. Sadly,it's not happening this time. Maybe I'll get them to meet with their daughter for the last time AND witness the execution.
When dosen't melting out justice suck? So far he's been tortured in both body and mind and now on the verge of haveing to do the painfully right thing he gets to live with the tears of the parents in his conscience forever. He cannot in his right mind let her free after that entire ordeal so if anything punishing the wicked and regretting every second of it seems like a very saintly act. Now all Keys has to worry about is remorse and the very likely chance of receiving death threats from the other supremists / family members
An excellent chapter once again. Keys is finally able to attempt normal foods, and the whole incident with the bookstore is wrapped up nicely. Now as for Keys, it is safe to say that you never once portrayed him as a saint. You shouldn't worry too much about that because you have already shown us his flaws, and we most certainly have seen how his mind works. He is neither a paragon of his kind nor its antithesis. He is not a martyr chewing on the scenery of his situations for the reader's sake.
I enjoyed the reactions of both the Lulamoon family and Keys, and felt that all that needed to be said was said. The tragic feeling of the family grasping at straws for the sake of a loved one despite their actions was spot on. Key's remorseful but steadfast reaction to see justice upheld was both expected and refreshing, especially in his trepidation to openly admitting that he wished there was a better way.
Though I did feel that perhaps Twilight and her friends were a bit too quiet in this scene, I'm certain they would have been reserved, but I feel that at least either Applejack or Rainbow most likely would have reacted somehow. I'm not sure what Twilight's reaction to all of this would be, since we've seen how unsure and unstable she can be concerning situations where there is no single right answer. Anyway, I look forward to the next chapter, as do we all.
Also, while I know Thanksgiving is not a holiday in your neck of the woods, enjoy this Thursday knowing that you remain healthier than the rest of us silly Americans while we celebrate our fatness by eating to excess. (Someone call me a doctor... or maybe a nurse, teehee dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_smile.png )
Observations...
This Unicorn Supremacist comes off as an amateur racist to me. The more experienced ones will treat you like dirt without ever explictly saying why. Then it falls upon the victim to raise the subject of race, after which the bigot can act all outraged over being accused of bigotry.
A salad as the first untreated food for Keys seems like about the opposite of what I'd expect. I should imagine someone who's been starved needs a lot of easily-digested "empty calories" -- carbs and fat -- to get their strength back.
Trixie's family asking him to "drop the charges" wouldn't even fly in our legal system, at least not in my country. Criminal prosecution is done by the state, and the state has plenty of evidence against her, so Keys would actually have little say in the matter. Of course, it could be completely different in Equestria. Maybe they don't even have a sharp distinction between civil and criminal law? Maybe it's perfectly OK for Trixie's family to try and bribe him, and that's equivalent to "negotiating a settlement" in a civil case?
1656499 Personally I think you should have had Keys make the family read the last entry of Trixie's Diary out loud it would have shaken them further.
Good chapter. He can take it easy on trixie, relative to what taking hard would be.
In his place i would see no way for her to stay out of jail, but the least of the leas she needs is to have her crimes proven and turned public, that alone would ruin her life, not enough punishment though.
1656879 Join the New Lunar Republic Revolution; you'll have an easier time. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
1656636>>1656499>>1656832>>1656778>>1656683>>1656563>>1656620
. Why are doing this to me, you guys? Especially you Cloud, I can't tell which side I'm going to be for now.
Damn it, damn it, damn it...
After reading all of these comments for me to choose:
if Keyes could spare Trixie, for the sake of not taking away a member from a heart-broken family; or not to forgive Trixie, after all of these horrifying actions she did that deserves justice.
I don't know what to choose
Anyway, great chapter. It's well-planned.
Wow, what a roller-coaster this has been. When I saw the title, I knew exactly what it meant.
A few observations sparked by other comments:
In U.S. criminal - especially capital - cases, Keys wouldn't be able to drop the charges; the District Attorney makes that call. Equestrian law might be similar, but since it's gone too far into the public consciousness, there may be no options. And then we can watch the circus - Trixie is the new O.J. The situation may be to the point where the Princesses couldn't stop it if they wanted to.
The Lulamoons may or may not have been bribing Keys, in their minds; if Manehattan is anything like New York, such "arrangements" could be fairly commonplace. Legal? Probably not. Accepted? Probably, but not to Keys. They got their eyes opened, for sure. I wonder what Trixie told them, about her entire life, not just recently. I sympathize, but I can't say I'm sorry for them. They had a hoof in making her what she is.
As for "Saint Keys", that was never in the cards, as I see it. He's too hurt in too many ways to ever forget what happened to him, and there's no real way to forgive that would be satisfying to every party. Even the Mane 6 would have a hard time.
Finally, the racism is about right, including the explanation. It wasn't reasoned in, and can't be reasoned out, like any kind of prejudice.
The trial's going to be excruciating for everyone. Including us.
1656948 That will happen during the trial, when the prosecutor reads a few selections and asks, "Did you or did you not write that?"
Shouldn't the family know that Trixie crossed SOME sort of line?
Kidnapping, torturing, and enslaving are PLENTY of reasons to incarcerate her. I mean... how would they react to somepony else being placed in her position? Would they say that it's wrong, or would they say that they should be given another chance?
The choice is to rightfully bring justice upon her actions, or to give her a second chance and return her to her family (preferably with some sort of restriction).
Then again, is there something involving the Lulamoon family that they are keeping to themselves...?
I really liked the confrontation between Jacob and Trixie's family, although I was a little surprised that when the mother shouted it wasn't right to take her daughter, Jacob didn't point out that he was forcibly taken from his family by Trixie
Four attempted murders including an attempted regicide, abduction, enslavement, fraud, physical and mental torture, ...all of it with overwhelming evidence. I think it's well beyond the point where Keys has any say on whether or not the trial goes on.*
I liked how this chapter turned out, mostly because it made Keys realize that the consequences of trial isn't as simple as "get bitch punished, receive monies from rich parents and live like a popstar".
*Babbage never intended for thinking engines to be used in a juridical context, and certainly not in a legal system run by magical talking horses (i.e. don't listen to me)
1657187
No the OJ defense won't work here since her hundreds of fans (myself included) won't reach her in time, besides its harder to prove yourself innocent when you don't murder the person in question. Also the princess/ judge and or jury has to consider the revenge possibility if they should ever release her in case she goes on some vendetta against Keys. Basically she's as good as dead, but knowing her character she won't be just be sitting around looking ugly days before her till. She probably has thought up some defence to at least promise many emotions in the coming chapters.
1657297 I wasn't talking about the defense, I was talking about the public knowledge aspect. There's likely to be only a few places that haven't heard about it, by this time.
Revenge? Please. Trixie will never see the light of day again; the evidence is too overwhelming. Someone taking her out? Unless there are express rockets to the moon, I don't think so. An execution isn't necessary. Just ask Luna.
Excellent chapter. Just don't make us wait two weeks for the next one!
Yay another great chapter.
1657340
The moon! are you serious just think of her family. Have her turned to stone instead, much easier on the eyes, her family gets to say hi after they chase off birds and best of all she would be doing some minute form of community service albeit minor. Just ask Discord
Besides despite the evidence there is still a good chance of freedom left for trixie, she still has the homefield advantage of being in canterlot and being a unicorn, a family and of course if they have anything like an adversarial system in equestria all she needs to do is look sorry and scared like most delinquants have learned to
Good chapter. I was hoping for more explosions for the racist scene but it works fairly well that way too.
IMHO, (for family scene) it just shows that Keys want justice. And in that situation this is NOT possible to have everyone happy AND getting justice.
And the familly just basically tried to bribe him. Understandable that they would be desperate, unless they did that for more reasons than just family. Trixie's crimes go way beyond Key, she also tried to murder Cadence, Rarity and Twi, wich are like the next biggest targets on the planet beside Celly and Luna.
Sure the family isnt happy about it, but then again, Trixie did absolutely horrible things (enslavement, several forms of torture, mindrape, plus essentially 4 attempted murders) so its not okay to ignore this. At best Trixie will be imprisoned but can still be visited by family, and get help.
I hope that Key wont pussy out of seeing justice served. Justice, not necessarily vengeance (plus it was kinda already done by breaking her Horn, if she's a Unicorn supremacist.. well, let's see how she likes doing it earth-pony style..)
1656499
Without going into it too much, I think you're too worried about giving him character flaws, and have been for far too many chapters. He's been homicidal, suicidal, depressed, angry, unreasonable, hopeless and unpredictable. He's also been careful, kind, courteous, considerate and patient.
We get it: he's not a Mary Sue, but he also doesn't want to blow his chances in a new world. Going out of your way to emphasize a character's imperfections (or invent new ones at random) can break the flow of a story and make things look...artificial. Don't stress out about it.
Even if Keys wanted to drop the charges it isn't up to him, Trixie would still go to court because this is a criminal case and not a civil suit.(assuming of course Equestria's legal system is anything like our own.)
I like this chapter. This chapter is real. This is exactly how a family of someone like Trixie would react. They can't believe their precious loved one would be so wrong and do anything so horrible, so they latch onto and attack the victim, blaming them for what was done.
And the way that it's hitting Keys makes sense as well from what we know. I just hope he doesn't become super ultra mopey again, because he needs to move on with his life.
1656499
Yeah...Halo 4 coming out didn't distract me either...
Anyways, I just kind of think that 'Keys is a Saint' still stands because he feels bad about "taking away their last hope."
Honestly. My thoughts when I read
were basically "Bitch please, your daughter only, imprisoned keys, mind raped him and oh yeah, lit his fucking hair on fire! And don't even get me started on that suicide attempt... " So rather than making that point, and showing them her journal, he walks away all mopey.
I know I wouldn't have done that....heads would roll! But anyways, I think Keys needs to be more aggressive.
....but that's just me.
A saint? No.
A fundamentally decent being: That's what he is. And that's what I like about him. Deep inside his core, he's a nice guy who's put through hell, but still doesn't abandon his drive to be nice. I've never felt closer to him than in this chapter.
Having the family of your tormentor sit across from you, falling apart at the seams, begging and pleading and grasping at straws for something, anything, to save their little baby... That would tear me apart inside. Actions have consequences, we often forget; and I commend you for bringing this to light once again.
Also, for not making Trixie's family into a bunch of amoral monsters. Some posts have alluded to them sharing blame for Trixie's actions, but after this exchange, I get the feeling their "fault" has been, if anything, being overprotective in the past. I might be going out on a limb here, but it seemed like they just couldn't believe their little girl was capable of what she did. They came to Canterlot to plead with her victim in person - all of them. The way they were desperately trying to shield her from the consequences of her actions, coupled with Trixie brazenly showing Keys off before the Royal Court, and lying through her teeth even before that - perhaps she's used to her family fixing her problems; she resented it, so she wanted to get away from under their thumb, yet had never learned to take actual responsibility for herself.
It doesn't excuse anything, of course. It's merely an observation. Now, seeing how Trixie interacts with her family after this would be very interesting. Does she lie to them? Does she even acknowledge them? Does she plead for their help, either not realising or fully knowing there's nothing they can do? Will she, on some sick level, be proud of herself? Will the few supremacists make a martyr of the poor mare who was tricked by an alien invader with unknown powers? We haven't seen the coverage of the case by Equestrian tabloids yet, no? There's a lot to explore...
Addendum: It's saddening to see how some other posters react to seeing Trixie's mother falling apart. "Selfish bitch"? Christ, people... I'm glad Keys isn't like you...
1656499 No complaints here, I thought it was pretty good.
Ah, there's some of Keys' backbone.
You go Keys.
1656499 YAY! More plot development! And it was good! A free internet for you! But still, i think it's right that he would be on the verge of tears, but 'it's not right'? when someone sets your hair on fire, no matter what happens you would never say it's not right. He's more like bishop keys now which i think suits him.
P.S Saint Keys is a term now! Good job me
P.P.S Beating, not betting
1656499 YAY! More plot development! And it was good! A free internet for you! But still, i think it's right that he would be on the verge of tears, but 'it's not right'? when someone sets your hair on fire, no matter what happens you would never say it's not right. He's more like bishop keys now which i think suits him.
P.S Saint Keys is a term now! Good job me
P.P.S Beating, not betting
P.P.P.S>>1657896 she set fire to his hair. I feel sorry for her, but she's still a selfish bitch. Her daughter DESTROYED Key's life, and all she cares about is herself