I can definitively say that waking up in a panic is not exactly a novel experience for me as of late, but it’s an entirely different matter to be awoken in a panic by Princess Luna and the vicious ear-rape that is her Canterlock. If the show hadn’t made it clear before, it is now painfully evident just how loud the Royal Voice is – that is to say, it’s loud. It’s ‘dear-god-someone-please-shove-a-kebab-stick-into-my-ear’ loud.
That said, at least it ripped me out of the dream. I can’t imagine a more effective way to snap someone out of a nightmare than aiming the world’s most powerful woofer-blaster – point-blank – at their ears, and proceeding to blow out their eardrums with it.
My eyes snap awake as Luna’s voice rips through my skull, filling me with a sense of terror the likes of which I haven’t felt since Trixie was holding me down and my hair was getting overcooked. The shout is so sudden, and so unexpected, that I briefly forget myself in a blind panic. Not exactly normal for me, but I guess that’s something that can be put down to the medication that they’ve been stuffing into my food.
Startled beyond any reasonable point, I reach out blindly as my eyes flash open, my hands – fortunately – do not come into contact with anything. That’s good, because the last thing I’d want to do is slap a princess.
Following through on my flailing arm-stretch, I flop into an upright position in my bed. Letting out what can only be described as a ragged scream. It’s all just too much. The nightmare, and the shouting have combined into a snowball of confusion and pain, and I simply have no idea what’s going on. Not knowing what’s going on is horrible enough, but everything else just makes the whole shit-factor of the situation multiply by ten.
What I see is Luna standing at the end of the bed, her jaw rising from the wide-open position necessitated by the Royal Canterlot Voice. At the same time, Twilight is in the process of arriving at the side of a bed, skidding to a stop as she drops speed from what would appear to have been a full blown gallop.
I feel like the world’s slowed down. Everything looks like it’s happening slightly slower than it should be, and my reflexes feel sluggish. Then again, I have just woken up.
I look from Twilight to Luna, my mind still consumed by panic. Why was I just hit with Luna’s Canterlock? I better not have been crying in my sleep. Twilight’s the only one who knows about that.
“Keys, ar-” Twilight manages to squeeze out a word and a half before I twist to the side, wrenching my legs free of the bed covers and launching myself out of bed. It’s mostly a reflexive action. Something strange has happened, and I don’t want to be in a vulnerable position in case the strange event in question is something dangerous.
She stops dead as I emerge from the sheets, falling silent for a couple of seconds as her gaze is fixated on the ugly scar on my abdomen. I myself twist my head sharply to the left to look at Luna. The expression on her face looks like one crossed between extreme concern and shock. Not good.
As I pull my gaze away from the princess, Twilight manages to tear her own attention away from the permanent evidence of my hardships emblazoned on my front like a fiery tattoo, opening her mouth to speak once more.
“Keys, what happened?” She asks, her voice slightly but noticeably drawn out. Everything still seems a little sluggish, although my panic’s receding rapidly as the world around me comes into focus. I’m in my bedroom in the royal palace, and there’s no coffin. She isn’t here.
I look her in the eyes for a brief second, my mouth chewing over a random collection of words as I notice that my eyes and the lower portion of my face feel extremely wet.
“I… not… nothing…” My eyes trace the details around her eyes, staring at the dark shadows underneath them. She still hasn’t slept? “Bathroom.”
With nothing further to add, I scramble past her towards the open bedroom door, moving quickly and frantically despite the pain it creates in my stomach. I stumble my way past Twilight, who let’s out a rather convicted protest as I begin my mad dash. I ignore her, of course.
I barrel out into the dinning area of the upper level, promptly colliding with the chair at the head of the table. Both the chair and I fall to the ground, generating a rather loud crashing noise as the object meets the hard planks of the floor. The ruckus draws several surprised noises, not just from the bedroom but also from the lounge downstairs.
I don't pause to ponder either, instead dragging myself back to my feet and propelling myself into the bathroom.
I steady myself against the bathroom counter, using my hands to stop me from plowing headfirst into the mirror. I give a strained grunt as I turn and push the door closed in a rough manner that falls just short of slamming it, before flicking the lock into place.
I stand still for a few seconds, before leaning heavily against the door and sliding down it, splaying both arms across the tile floor.
That entire train wreck of a freak-out took no more than thirty seconds.
Coming to a rest in a deep slouch against the door, I stare across the bathroom at the cupboards under the sink, before letting out a loud and unrestrained sob.
I don’t want to cry. They’ll be right outside, listening.
But I can’t help it.
There’s no sorrow to my tears. None of the self-pity or loathing that’s dominated my mindset of late manages to hide within the droplets running down my cheeks. Instead it’s replaced by the heart-racked cries of the guilty. The horrified gasps and shudders of someone that knows they’ve done something horrible, and cannot bring themselves to let it go.
There’s some hesitant muttering from outside – In which I can hear the voices of Luna, Twilight and Fluttershy – before the door is treated to an equally hesitant knock.
“Umm… K-Keys?” Fluttershy’s incredibly soft voice whispered through the door, barely audible over my sobs. “A-are you okay?”
I don’t have a response for her. The answer should be self evident, although the reasons shouldn’t be. Nopony in all of Equestria would know why I just threw such a thorough shit-fit.
“Are… are you g-going to come out?”
I place my left hand to my forehead, massaging my closed eye with the palm as my chest shakes violently. Curse these damn ponies and their insatiable need to help others.
After a few seconds I take a deep breath, and let out one tired word as I pull myself together, followed a shortly by two more.
“…Shower… ten minutes.”
“O-okay…” Fluttershy responds slowly as I grip the towel rail and pull myself upright. Why she’s fronting the effort to draw me out of the bathroom is a mystery to me, but I’m far more concerned by how pathetic I must have just sounded.
I mean, who the hell actually goes into the bathroom and cries?
I stare at myself in the mirror for a second, taking in my slender, gaunt figure and the vicious red scar on my abdomen. At least I don’t look as terrible as I did a couple of days ago, which makes me feel a little better.
Not much, though.
This is all so typical. More drama for poor old Keys. More trauma, and more sympathy. It’s getting so tiresome that I don’t even take the time to acknowledge the other times this has happened – and it’s not like the Equestrians can help me with this one. It’s got nothing to do with them. It’s just a horrible memory triggered by some small detail, and it's actually something I managed to get over and shove in a dark corner of my mind quite a while ago.
After cynically eyeing the skeleton in the mirror, I hobble to the shower in the corner of the bathroom and open the hot tap with a deft flick of the wrist.
I strip off my boxer shorts as the water heats up, briefly thinking about how terrible they are as underwear, which is in sharp contrast to how wonderful they are as sleepwear. I have no clue why I’m thinking about my boxers, but it’s a better alternative to the dream.
Wait, what the hell am I doing?
I almost slap myself as I step under the now-steaming water spraying out of the showerhead. Just what am I getting worked up over? I’ve had that dream before. Quite a few times, in fact – although not in the last six months – and like I said; I worked through it all a long time ago, so why did I just go through a grandiose freak-out?
If anything, it was possibly the timing. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and the sudden resurfacing of that memory… I guess it’s just terrible timing.
I shake my head slightly, which makes my long hair flop around with a wet noise that reminds me of a cartoon slap. “What am I? The damn woobie? That’s Fluttershy’s job.”
After a short pause, I hit my head softly against the wall of the shower, releasing a dull ‘thud’.
I’m going to have a lot of talking to do.
***
Twilight and Fluttershy slowly made their way down the stairs to the bottom floor of the suite, uncertainty and confusion etched on both of their faces.
“And what in tarnation was all tha’ about?” Applejack was the first to ask, voicing the question that all of the ponies present had been forming.
“I…” Twilight shook her head as she herself wondered what had just happened. “I’m not sure. Keys had a bad dream, and when he woke up, he kinda… freaked out.”
She traced her eyes over the assembled mares. Rarity, Pinkie, Rainbow, Applejack and Princess Celestia. Each one of their faces was afflicted with expressions conveying varying levels of worry. Keys having another episode was always a cause for concern.
“That’s one way of putting it.” Rainbow observed bluntly, restlessly floating a good meter above the couch, her wings flapping lazily. “Come on Twi, he was shouting in his sleep. That sounds more like a night terror t’ me.”
“And being woken up by the Royal Canterlot Voice?” Rarity shuddered. “I can’t imagine anypony reacting well to that.”
“Is he alright, Twilight?” Celestia spoke calmly, worry etched into her face. “What’s he doing?”
“Umm…” Fluttershy scuffed a hoof against the ground, despite the fact that the subject wasn’t actually awkward. “T-taking a shower, your highness.”
The room fell silent for a brief second as each pony listened carefully for the muffled sound of rushing water upstairs, before Twilight spoke again.
“Princess Luna’s waiting to talk with him.” She look around the room once more. “And… I’m not sure what to do.”
“Uhh… we could... throw him a party…?” Pinkie raised a hoof cautiously.
“No parties, dear.” Rarity replied softly. “Some things are fragile, and our wounded visitor would appear to be one of the most fragile objects one could find.”
“That’s Flutters’ job.” Rainbow replied lightly, giving a little forced laugh at the lame joke, which only served to elicit a face-hoof from Applejack. “I mean… I… uh… I’ll just…” She dropped back down onto the couch as the room lapsed into silence.
Celestia, for one, had spent most of the exchange quietly observing the mares’ banter. After a small amount of consideration, she contributed her own thoughts for the group to hear.
“I believe – or at least hope – that Keys will still be able to discuss with us whatever it was that he asked us here for. After that, I think it would be best if you all – Keys included, if he’s in any position for it – go out and spend some time in Canterlot. I dare say a few of you could use the rest.” She directed the final part at Twilight, who shied away from the attention slightly.
“Yes, your highness.” The collection of mares chorused. Rarity looked pleased by the prospect, as did Pinkie. The remaining four looked a little bit more uncertain, but kept their respective reservations to themselves.
Celestia nodded, the soft smile she normally bore returning to her face as she took a half-step back. Twilight could only wonder what was going through her head, but had no further time to ponder the possibilities as the muffled sounds of flowing water were cut off by a dull ‘thunk’ from within the walls.
“Was that ten minutes?” She glanced at Fluttershy, who shook her head ever so slightly.
After a brief second, Luna appeared at the top of the stairs, descending them quickly.
"I feel it would be best if I were not present when Keys emerges." She explained quickly as Celestia imparted a questioning look upon her. "Considering his species' body-shyness, among other things."
"That's... uh, a wise choice, Princess." Twilight bowed slightly to the Ruler of the Night as she descended the curving flight of stairs to join the others in the center of the lounge. In truth, it seemed a little odd that Luna would really care about that, considering that Keys' long-term mental health was of more importance than his short-term dignity. (Although in certain scenarios, the two may as well be one and the same.)
She normally spoke with both Princess Luna and Princess Celestia when she was in Canterlot, but speaking with them both at the same time always made her feel awkward. As ridiculous a worry as it was, Twilight was always concerned that she would provide one of the rulers with more attention than the other. The fact that she was Celestia's student didn't come into the equation, because she wanted make sure Luna didn't feel like she was being treated differently for her past.
Luna joined her sister, the two of them standing close to the door out onto the balcony. "We must give Keys his space, rather than become too intrusive. He has already shown that too much sympathy frustrates him, so I imagine that he would feel the same way concerning the attention of others."
Celestia and Twilight both dipped their heads slightly in agreement, while the other mares remained still. None of them were overly familiar with the topic, and simply refrained from commenting.
Any further discussion was cut off by the sound of the bathroom door opening, followed by a few footsteps – which in turn ended as Keys appeared at the rail of the upper floor, clothed in a fluffy white bathrobe.
"Good morning, your majesties." He spoke slightly louder to account for the increased distance, which only served to draw attention to the awkward undertone to his voice.
Keys bowed in an equally awkward fashion, using the rail for support. "And, uh... hey, everypony else." He bowed once more, despite the fact that a nod would have sufficed. "I'm... uh, sorry about all that. Let me just... get some real clothes on, and then I'll come down and explain that whole mess."
"'s cool, dude." Rainbow replied in her most casual tone yet, waving her hoof dismissively.
"Indeed. Do not trouble yourself, dear." Rarity chipped in.
"Take your time." Celestia added softly.
"Okay, thanks – and sorry again." Keys replied, managing to stop the exchange from turning into a drawn-out conversation where each individual pony added their own thoughts to the conversation.
After a brief pause, he stepped back from the railing and turned back to his room, a barely audible "So much understanding" floating behind them.
A more-than-perplexed Twilight looked up at the landing for a few seconds more, before turning her attention back to her friends.
"And... I think Keys just resolved the problem himself."