“Uhh…” I bite my lip. “What questions?”
‘Oh-god-oh-god-oh-god.’
The questions. I had hoped that I would have more time to compose my answers. I mean… how am I meant to explain this? How am I meant to tell them that their entire world was created by the residents of another?
I still don’t know what to think about that. If humans created My Little Pony, then how did a character in it manage to summon me? Is the show some strange cosmic coincidence that portrays their world to mine, or does every work of fiction get its own little universe once created?
This can’t possibly end well, and I feel myself breaking out into a cold sweat. I mean it? How am I meant to tell these ponies that from my point of view, they are characters in a TV Show?
The short answer is that I will not.
I can’t bring myself to shatter the peacefulness of this world with such mind-blowing information. The news would either start riots, ruin lives, or get me thrown in the nut-house. If you ask me, the final option would be the best. I would rather be thought insane by the ponies than shatter their beliefs.
I blink twice, and realise that I have managed to zone out – while Celestia was talking. What the hell is wrong with me?
The four ponies are all looking at me expectantly, while my mind rapidly blanks out. What did Celestia just ask me? Why wasn’t I paying attention? Why am I such a freaking ass all the time?
“I…” My mouth stumbles over my sentence, and I groan inwardly. “I-I’m sorry, I drifted off for a second. Sorry.”
Celestia’s brow gives off a minute twitch, angling downwards to show that she is ever so slightly perplexed. That almost unnoticeable show of dissatisfaction makes me cringe mentally for not being at my best.
“Sorry.” I say a third time, before taking a slight breath at my own idiocy. She’s doing everything, I should at least be able to pay some god-damn attention.
“It’s fine, of course.” Celestia assures me, which make me feel even worse. The fuck-tonnes of sympathy that’s been unloaded on me since I woke up has been almost unbearable, and I can barely stand to accept any more.
I know it’s fine. I know it’s excusable, but it’s inconveniencing one of the ponies working so hard to make me healthy, and she deserves a better response than the one I’m providing.
“I asked how you’re feeling.”
I blink in surprise. Now it’s my turn to be perplexed.
Celestia isn’t asking me about my knowledge. She isn’t trying to find out what I know… she’s checking to see how I am personally doing.
I blink again, and swallow nervously. Does this mean that I am getting a little while to compose myself?
“Uh, good – thanks, your majesty.” I struggle to form the words while I shake off my confusion. “I mean, physically, of course.”
“Good to hear.” Celestia certainly doesn’t look overly convinced. She carries that same motherly look – which makes me feel even worse. “Are the rooms up to human standards?”
“Y-Yes, of course.” Wow. She’s really just asking about how I’m doing. Why is this so important to her? “Your majesty.” I add hastily.
“Please, just call me Princess, or Celestia.” I see a little glimmer of mirth in Celestia’s eyes, which makes me feel slightly better. If the princess is still in a mood to find entertainment in the events around her, then everything is fine.
I know I can’t just call her by either title. She’s a princess, and by comparison I am a commoner. To address her by anything less than her title is… unacceptable, at best.
“Is there anything else you need? Anything at all?”
“No, you majesty.” I bite my lip, anticipating being reprimanded for my use of the title. Thankfully, Celestia either does not notice, or simply lets it slide.
“And finally…” A slight hint of tension in the Princess’s voice makes my nerves jump. What is she about to ask? It wounds like something serious.
“Do you have a… name, that we can call you by?”
My heart skips a beat. While not the worst question she could have asked, it’s certainly one I don’t want to answer. I don’t know why, but I just don’t. Is it an insecurity? And inferiority complex? There must be a myriad of medical terms for why I feel this way, but I have no clue.
All that matters at the moment is that right now, I just can’t tell them my name. I won’t tell them my name.
“Uh, I…” I lick my lips nervously. “C-can… can you just call me… Piano Man?” I stutter. “Or…”
Celestia and Luna are both looking at me with surprise, while Twilight looks like she was expecting this.
“…Keys… You could j-just call me… Keys.”
“I… do not understand…” Luna’s voice could tell me that even if she’d been saying that she understood completely. “Do you have a name, human?”
“Y-yes.” I hang my head, not daring to look her in the eye.
“Then why do you not share it with us?”
The room falls silent, waiting on my reply.
What am I supposed to say? That for some inexplicable reason I am unable to provide my hosts with my name? That I’m simply being an introverted jackass without knowing why?
“I…” My throat is closing up. I’m so nervous. This is no way to repay their kindness. “I don’t… know…”
Celestia and Luna share a glance, and I clench my fists in frustration.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I hiss the words under my breath, although I’m pretty sure only Twilight can hear them.
I feel her hoof on my arm, attempting to comfort me but it does nothing to help. If anything it makes me feel worse – receiving sympathy while I’m being atrociously rude.
I push her hoof away, not daring to look at her. This was never part of the Brony dream – ever.
“Very well then, ‘Keys’.” Celestia sounds slightly irritated, but her voice is still dominated by that god-damn tone of understanding and sympathy. “Such a name will suffice for now.” She puts a tiny amount of emphasis on the ‘now’.
“There is one more matter to be dealt to.” Luna adds. “The matter of bits.”
“Bits?” Now it’s my turn to be confused, as I manage to look back up at the princesses. “What about them, your highness?”
“Do you know what bits are?” Celestia asks. A fair question, really.
“Yes, your majesty.” I smile meekly. “The currency of Equestria.”
“Indeed. I’m sure you know that your performances earned quite a few bits over the weeks, and there’s the matter of the commission for the Grand Galloping Gala…”
The truth is, I hadn’t thought about this. I knew that I had been earning bits with my performances, but I had no idea how much – and I had no clue what had happened to them.
“…Anyway, as Trixie was earning this money through slave labour, and was most certainly not your manager, the earnings are being transferred to you.”
I blink twice. That’s a truly unexpected turn of events.
“Oh, uh… thanks, your majesty.”
“Celestia.” Celestia corrects me.
I pause, unwilling to use the white Alicorn’s name. Instead, I continue with my train of thought.
“But… I’m not a citizen. Doesn’t that… change, anything?”
“No, young one.” Luna answers my question. “They are the bits you earned, and what nation you belong to has no impact on that.”
Twilight levitates a scroll over to me, which I gently accept, and unfurl.
“Thank you.” I mumble to the mare, clumsily uncurling the scroll to reveal the figures.
The numbers certainly aren’t anything to scoff at. Trixie recorded my earnings extremely thoroughly, writing down the amount raked in by each performance, and then listing what she herself had done to shrink that number.
My shows hadn’t brought in overly much many. Each one brought in at least a thousand bits – normally averaging somewhere around two and a quarter grand, and with one performance reaching three-thousand. The first three shows barely passed a thousand.
Now that I think about it, this is a lot of money for three weeks work. Over the course of ten shows I managed to rake in twenty four thousand bits. If I assume that a bit is the same as a U.S., or a Canadian dollar, then that’s quite a bit of money.
Or it would be, if Trixie hadn’t blown over half of the money. She’d lived it up in hotels, as me and my cage had taken up her wagon – which she’d had painted.
There were quite a few expenses – most of them either pertaining to Trixie’s living, or my imprisonment. That had the tooth-grinding effect of reducing my earnings down to six-and-a-half-thousand bits.
“Hmm…” I raise an eyebrow. It was money for living, pretty much. Enough to tide one over for a while – and I wasn’t exactly paying for my living at the moment.
I kept looking over the paper, before suddenly gasping, which drew a good natured ‘There it is.’ From Maneworthy.
The commission for the Gala. It was twenty-thousand bits, and Trixie hadn’t spent a single one.
“Quite the sum.” Celestia says with obvious happiness in her voice.
I looked at the final sum. Twenty-six-thousand, three-hundred and fifty-six bits, all belonging to me. I have no idea how that compares to other ponies, but it seems like a lot.
“Twenty… six… oh….” I look at the four ponies in turn. They all look very pleased, which in turn makes me feel quite happy.
“How… Wait, how much does something like… a chocolate bar, cost?”
“A plain chocolate bar?” Twilight offers helpfully. “Two bits, why?”
“So… a bit is pretty much a dollar…” I mumble under my breath. This really is a lot of money.
And the strangest part of it all, is that I just don’t want it. I have no need for it… and I would feel bad, just taking all this money. It doesn’t matter what I did to get it, I just don’t want it. I don't know how, but I'm going to make sure I get rid of it all.
I blink a few times, and then look at the mares and colt around me. “I… I don’t know what to say.”
At least my stutter’s gone by now. Stumbling over words is extremely undignified – especially in the presence of royalty.
Maneworthy stands up, stretching and yawning.
“I would suggest that you don’t say anything. You aren’t really in the right mind frame for all of this.” He smiles. “I think we should just get you back to the clinic.”
All I can do is nod and agree, before realizing that going back to the hospital means tackling the stairs again.
“Damn.” I mutter under my breath. “The stairs.”
Maneworthy nods, delivering another sympathetic smile. Out of everyone here, he seems the most laid back. I think that’s because of how familiar he is with Equestria.
“Yeah. The stairs.”
“Stairs?” Twilight takes notice from where she is cleaning up her mess of papers. She pauses a moment, before understanding dawns on her face. “Oh.”
I grimace and nod, picking up my walking stick. Time to shame myself getting up.
Well, not exactly. This time I have a table in front of me, and I manage to drag myself to my feet without any help – although admittedly, it takes an entire minute, and comes with a lot of grunting.
As I finally straighten up and plant my walking-stick on the floor, I realise that Maneworthy and Twilight have been talking, and are now looking at me expectantly.
“Sorry.” I say for what feels like the hundredth time today. “I… I wasn’t listening.”
My voice is still rather weak, and I feel so tired. What I could really go for at the moment is a nice sleep – but that’s at least thirty minutes away.
My mental grumbling is immediately silenced by what Maneworthy says next.
“Miss Sparkle has offered to take you back to the clinic…” His cheerful smile disappeared. “…By teleporting.”
I’m not exactly surprised. It seems just like Twilight to offer to help this way – I simply didn’t consider it.
“That is, if you’re okay for that.” Twilight adds hastily, reminding me that I am still an extremely fragile object in their eyes.
I mull it over, wondering whether or not teleporting would make me snap. I don’t see why, and I sincerely doubt I’ll flip out over something that I don’t think I would merit it.
“I think that’s… wonderful, thanks.” I smile sincerely – possibly producing the broadest smile since I arrived. It isn’t forced or fake, like the others. “But what about this thing.” I reach up and lightly touch the circlet underneath my hair.
“It doesn’t work that way.” Twilight responds plainly, and that’s all the reply I need.
“Okay then.” I lift my cane off the floor, which immediately puts more strain on my legs – and more importantly, my wound. “I could really use a rest.”
“Okay then.” Twilight trots over to stand next to me, adjusting her saddle-bag with her magic. “Just a second…”
While she fusses over making sure that she has everything, I turn to Maneworthy.
“You seem awfully laid-back.”
“When one has spent as much time around Celestia as I have, you learn that formality is not only unnecessary, it is an irritant for both of us.”
“Indeed.” The Alicorn herself adds, approaching to stand next to Maneworthy. “I’m sure you may have guessed that I don’t really enjoy standing on occasion.”
In honesty, I already knew. Celestia’s mischievous streak has been apparent through most of the show, as has her odd lack of formality for an Alicorn of over a thousand years.
“I gathered, your majes-”
“Celestia.” She corrects me on the spot, not even skipping a beat.
I’m feeling a lot better at this point. Quite well actually. This all feels like a rather standard conversation now, and I’m managing to push the fact that Celestia and Luna are princesses out of my mind. That said, I’m still not willing to speak so blithely and casually to my benefactors.
Wait a minute. The princesses. Luna, Celestia, and…
“Wait… Where’s Princess Cadance?” I suddenly ask.”
“Cadance has not left her chambers since the Gala.” Luna replies sombrely. “I believe the nights events have left her very distraught.”
“But… is Shining helping her?” I ask, now feeling guilty once more.
Twilight and the two princesses exchange looks, and I briefly note that I’ve just demonstrated my Brony-knowledge. At the moment, I’m more concerned for Cadance.
“Do I need to go talk to her?”
Luna is the first to speak – which is interesting, considering that she’s been taking a more distanced role for most of this meeting.
“I would say so.” She speaks slowly and thoughtfully, giving me time to note that she has not uttered the ‘royal we’ a single time since I first talked to her. “But not at the moment. I believe she needs more time.”
‘More time? It’s been eight days. That just sounds like a way of delaying a plotline.’ I muse, while nodding. Do things in this world function to the constraints of literature conventions and tropes? If so, things might not be so complicated.
“Okay then, your highness.”
Twilight, who was waiting for us to finish our conversation, clears her throat. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah.” I nod and smile. At least the ending to this meeting isn’t nearly as horrible as the beginning. Things have actually turned out… rather well.”
The Princesses and Maneworthy take a few steps back, making sure that they won’t interrupt the spell by being too close.
Right before Twilight starts to charge her horn, I smile lightly at the three other ponies.
“I’m really sorry, for how difficult I was.”
I timed it just right. Twilight’s horn flares, and the spell takes effect before they can rebuke my apology with their damn sympathy.
My vision twists, with my image of the world turning in a nauseating corkscrew as Twilight begins the teleportation.
"Woah... this is..." I fall silent as my skin starts to tingle, and my distorted view of the room turns purple.
'Oh wow.' I think briefly before my vision is blacked out.
Author's Note:
Just as a note, I felt it was necessary to mention the money, but I have no intention of doing anything with it. At all. I'll probably just have the Piano Man pass it onto the Mane 6.
Still mulling over the name... Hmm...
'Keys'
I wonder what their reaction would be when they find out his secret.
Another chapter! Looking forward to more! (I can't really think of any constructive critisism to give, as far as I can tell there is nothing to critisize.)
how about the name Rodger?
1095949 Eh... I don't really want the ponies referring to The Piano Man (who will also refer to as Keys, for now) as Klavier. It doesn't really fit.
1095955 There's no real reason to call him Rodger.
The money thing was actually a very good plot device. To me it symbolized a change in the whole relationship between "keys" and the others. The good news seemed to be something that was... happy... He earned it, so it was free of guilt (according to the story), so it seemed to be the first piece of really happy news he had gotten the whole time.
It also seemed that after the "happy news" he started acting a bit more normal, and Celestia started to learn to deal with him more. (When she corrected him while he was talking)
I personally liked that being included.
Awesome chapter,
Thoughts on a name . Does Lauren Faust have a younger brother, or son?
The money thing was actually a very good plot device. To me it symbolized a change in the whole relationship between "keys" and the others. The good news seemed to be something that was... happy... He earned it, so it was free of guilt (according to the story), so it seemed to be the first piece of really happy news he had gotten the whole time.
It also seemed that after the "happy news" he started acting a bit more normal, and Celestia started to learn to deal with him more. (When she corrected him while he was talking)
I personally liked that being included.
Awesome chapter,
1095900
Out of simple curiosity, do you happen to have an editor/proofreader? I've been noticing a fair number of errors in your writing, is all.
1095961 I do agree with that, and that's why I think it would be good for tie-strengthening if Keys were to give away most (not all, because he isn't that senseless) of the revenue.
1095964 As far as I know, she has no son, and having the Piano Man as her brother would be a huge continuity error.
1095981 I do ask for readers to point out errors, and my friend who was going to proof-read has been indisposed as of late, so I've being doing it all myself. I can imagine that quite a few mistakes slip through.
On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it? (One being the lowest, of course)
1095996
On my scale, it'd be around a four, but mine tends to be much harsher than most. The main problem is that they detract from the story quite an amount more than most because they tend to be focused on more important words in most instances (like names, read: "Maneowrthy" about halfway down in the current chapter; search "Mane" and it ought to pop right up).
How long has this friend of yours been editing this story? The reason I'm asking is because I've found one or two errors in each chapter almost consistently through the first installment up to now.
...And this is another story I feel the need to write a review for. Ugh.
Keys. I like that, actually. Even if you give out a real name for him, I think it would make a great nickname.
His name is bob. Just to be anticlimactic.
1095955 He's not a rapist and a robber.
1096026 Uh... They haven't. It's just been me, because my friend's been busy. My proof-reading normally strips out five to eight errors a chapter, which are a side-effect of my speed-typing. I really wish I could get them all. -_-
1096038 I plan to have it stick, no matter what his actual name is.
1096041 Oh, wouldn't that just be the best?
1096067 BECAUSE SYMBOLISM.
...
And... because it's interesting? I'm not sure. It's a really nice picture, anyway. I'm so happy that WIL_I_ZIN made it.
1096092 Nor is he an alcoholic.
1095900. I suggest keeping the name 'keys' or maby ivory keys. If the protagonist lacks a name, then the reader will subcontiously fill it in with their own name.
1095900
OOH OOH I HAVE A SUGGESTION!
Call him Sanford.
1096110
=/ That doesn't exactly strike me as being helpful to you. No offense, but.... Ugh.
It's at this point that I'd recommend getting a more dedicated proof-reader, or one that's able to keep up with your level of speed. As far as catching your own mistakes, run it through a spellcheck, and read over your work a couple more times than you do already.
...Though you might have a bit of trouble finding a decent proof-reader on this site. They're one of the things that I've noticed come in fairly low quantities.
MOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1095900 you could just make him give the money to a charity or something to boost his rep or something like that.
Well nice to know he got something for his troubles and Trixie gets nothing! As for the name thing, why not Christopher? There are a shit ton in the real world but hardly any in fiction.
I like this!
1096110
Skip to 2:00
1096179 Hmm... *nods*
1096237 I've considered calling him William. (A common nickname for those titled William is Bill, which can be linked through to Billy Joel) But I don't really want his name to have symbolism, I just want it to fit.
1096262 A possibility.
1096328
In any event, good luck.
...And bother me about a review sometime. I promise I don't bite (hard).
I noticed a weird trend with HiE fics. Humans with names like Drake, or Artemis or that one lero name. Mostly, after humans show up, they take a pony style name. If your not going to give him an Anglo name like Donavon or Jake or Robert then how about something cool sounding and foreign like.... idk....like Nickolaus (i think means 'king of the people') or roman like Titus Andronicus or an ancient greek god like zeus. Or something random like Vlad or Leeroy Jenkins or Pierre Juan Duckling von Munchausen?
"Keys"?
Allow me to get his flood cocoon ready. Or maybe Changeling.
1096347 Why not? Whenever you want to's fine. (Or if you want to wait until there are a few more chapters, that's cool too)
1096412 Oh no, I would much rather stick with an Angelo name. I'm just trying to find the right one.
1096422
Poor boy...
That last line made me think of Hardon Lewdad.
"DA FUCK YOUR TANK IS BIGGER THAN MINE WHUT?" I asked him good natured-ly
"Yes, I also love chess."
"WELL FUCK!" I said and passed out.
For some reason.
http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=mentalissue
Anagrams for 'Mental Issue'
Murdon? Landon? Christoper?
damn Piano man or Keys is a wreck.
For some reason, I think the cliche name of John fits him. Not sure why.
1097738
As I was reading the comments, I was literally thinking
'Johnathan. Johnathan. Johnathan.'
Why does this fit?!
1095959
Call him Niko Bellic-- the audience will love it. He'll run around Canterlot, hijacking carts and other mobile vehicles.
Also,
– which she’d had painted.
She'd had? She had had? It should be 'which she had painted,' or am I missing something?
Huh...I'm pretty sure that I saw some errors then my internet fucked up on me I get back here and I find none. Hmm...........OK
1096412
How about Chuck Testa?
Andy?Andrew?Chris?I suggested Andy first 'cause my REAL name is Andy. Just plain Andy not Andrew.
*Reading*
We get to know what his name is! Yes!
...
CELESTIA DAMN IT ALL!!!
Trixie painted her wagon huh?
Well this is Equestria so.....
Lets paint that wagon good
It occurred to me since the last chapter the one question Celestia would ask would be his name. Nice to know I got it right.
Ouch. Teleporting on a punctured stomach. Almost as bad as swimming too soon after a meal.
Looks at Piano Man and Directly quotes Sweetie Bell: OHHHHHHH Coooooooooommeee onnn.
1095996 I'd put it at a 7. I mentioned that part 1 left a bad taste, and this is more what I like. And for a name, I agree with TimeTravelingPony. Call him William, because yes, Billy Joel, but also because Bill Bailey and Billy Connolly. Both of them also use pianos and music and such. Even if this isn't a comedy, it's evidence that Bill is THE piano name.
1095900 I say he orders a classy black and white suit. With gold trim, and gold lined pockets. With a golden monacle.
As for the name, he strikes me as a bob...
1097738 1098412 I've been tossing around the use of John, and have it set as the name I will use if I can't find anything better.
I'll need to think up a good last name, though, or else he'll be John Keys.
...
Look it up.
1098506 'She had' would mean that Trixie herself had painted the wagon. 'She had had the wagon painted' means that she paid someone else to do it, and I abbreviated it to 'She'd had'.
1100848 A 7? Ow. I didn't think they were that bad...
1101905 He's not planning on telling them at all, and I would rather either avoid the subject, or at least wait quite a while so that it's more emotionally significant.
1102167 As it is everytime I see that name, I think he's just going to walk into a closet and come back out with an admiral's dress uniform and start ordering ponies around to defend the planet. "Piano Man: Ghosts of Equestria". He's also going to give the Mane Six a pistol with no ammo, because that's what you want during an alien invasion. A gun with no ammo.
1096237
YO.
But I think me already doing the art has people suspicious enough as it is. XD
1102167
Ah, makes sense. I read it over and over without the apostrophe combination ('con' w/e they're called. Too tired :|.) so I was a bit baffled when it went through my head wrong.