• Published 19th Nov 2012
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Miller - totallynotabrony



Human gets turned into pony. Then organized crime gets involved.

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Chapter 5

“This is going to sound crazy,” I said.

Vinyl stared at me. “What, you’re a musical genius?”

“I…wait, what?”

“Seriously, I would know if I’d heard that song before. Heck dude, I don’t think I’ve even heard that genre. What’s it called?”

Did I really want to explain rock and roll to her?

“I uh…” I swallowed. “I don’t remember.”

Her face fell. “I hoped it was something I could recreate. I’ve been looking for new material.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Vinyl smiled, although her expression didn’t hold its usual energy. She hummed a little, only managing to string together a few fragments of the song from what little she’d heard.

We ate dinner, neither of us saying much. When Vinyl was finished, she floated her plate over to the sink. Even after seeing it so much, unicorn magic freaked me out a little.

“Thanks for the spaghetti,” she said.

I nodded. “I’ll take care of the dishes.”

She said goodbye and went out the door. I realized that I had forgotten to make breakfast plans with her like I intended. That was all right, I could meet her in the morning.

As I was washing our plates, there was a knock on the door. Thinking, perhaps hoping, it was Vinyl, I went to answer.

Octavia stood there. “Good evening Mr. Miller. I stopped by to say hello and welcome you.”

“Hello. This is a surprise. I’ve never had a landlord who came to greet me personally.”

She laughed politely. “I’m still learning to take care of the building. I only inherited it two months ago. It’s still strange, the idea of being paid rent to live here instead of the other way around.”

“You have an apartment here?” I asked. It seemed a little strange that the owner of the building lived with the rest of us.

“It’s two doors down.” Octavia nodded in the direction opposite of Vinyl’s door. “My aunt put me where there was room. I never really realized that I was her favorite niece until she left me this place. I wish I could have properly shown my gratitude when she was still alive.”

I started to say something, but she cut me off, briefly straying from her usual impeccable politeness. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to start loading you with my life story.”

“It’s okay. I guess we all sometimes have to release things that were bottled up inside.” The irony hit me a moment after I said it.

Octavia gave me another smile. “It’s good to meet such a gentlecolt. Have a good evening.”

“You too.” I closed the door, glad to have gotten a better impression of Octavia. She was much more open and friendly than our previous encounter had led me to believe.

That night, I bedded down with my meager possessions. I was slowly learning how to best make a bed with my clothes. Everything else I had brought with me from Earth continued to be useless. I wondered if I could play a bit of music with my phone, but as I had found out last time, the soundproofing spell Vinyl had on her apartment only worked in one direction.

As I lay there, I heard the faint strains of a stringed instrument. It was deep, slow sound. A cello, perhaps, or maybe a tight-tuned bass. I’m not great at identifying members of the violin family.

Was it Octavia? The sound came from the direction she had indicated, and I remembered that her cutie mark was related to music. Regardless, it was a pleasant thing to fall asleep to.

I rolled over at some point in the night and found myself lying uncomfortably on top of a bag of bits. With no bank account, the payments I had been earning were just lying around. I hated to just leave them there in case somepony broke in, but there wasn’t much choice. Even if for some reason you didn’t need proper identification to open an account, you surely would to make a withdraw from it.

The thought of a fake ID crossed my mind. Where would I even get one? Even back on Earth I had no idea.

I sighed and sat up. Talking to Mr. Spangles about magic was the important goal on my mind, and if it worked out like I hoped I would be going home soon. Admittedly, it felt like a long shot, but a guy can dream, can’t he?

I knocked on Vinyl’s door. When she opened it, I asked, “Breakfast?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Back in my apartment, we started breaking eggs. Vinyl said, “I feel like I should be paying you or something.”

My first thought was Don’t worry about it, I wouldn’t invite you with the intention of shaking you down. Then I remembered my own debts. I said, “If you want.”

I turned back to the stove so it wouldn’t feel like I was staring at her and waiting on an answer.

After breakfast, I went to the shop. Steelie and Bend were there. It looked like they were having an unpleasant conversation, with Steelie on the receiving end of most of it. Bend turned to me as I walked through the door. “Just the pony I was looking for. We’re doing a little maintenance on the building today. I need you to reseal the skylight.”

I glanced upwards at the window in question and nodded. He gave me a caulk gun and I went outside and up to the roof. I tried to be as quick as possible, because I had other things to do that morning.

After returning, Bend wanted me to change a lightbulb. Okay, another job for the pony with wings. He had me do a few more things, and by the time I was able to deal with the magic table, it felt like half the day had ticked away. Really, it hadn’t been that long, but my mind was freaking out. Meeting with Spangles was a big step, and I was nervous. What if he couldn’t help me? What if he thought I was crazy?

I loaded the table into the cart and slipped my body into the yoke. The school was located on the castle grounds, and I made sure to take along the business card Spangles had given me. It seemed correct to assume that I would have to go through security, and they would want to know who I was seeing.

On my way to Cloudsdale, I had passed by the castle on the mountain. As I headed directly towards it today, I had more time to appreciate the place. It wasn’t drab stone like something from Earth’s medieval era. There were bright decorations, stripes and polka dots. Ornate rotundas graced several of the towers.

The place stuck impossibly to the slope, but everything else was basically recognizable as standard castle architecture. It even had a moat – because the castle was built in the middle of a waterfall that streamed down the mountain. Yeah, the perfect place for a school of magic.

I landed on the road that lead up to the drawbridge. Two guards wearing fancy armor were posted there. One of them asked, “What’s your business here?”

“I came to see Mr. Spangles of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns.” I indicated the contents of the cart. “He ordered this table.”

One of the guards lifted a small, bugle-like horn and blew a short two note call. A third pony in armor stepped out from the heavy doors set in the castle walls and trotted across the bridge to meet us.

“I’ll take this from here,” he said, putting a hoof on the yoke of the cart.

“Now hang on, I need to see Spangles face-to-face,” I protested. “He gave me his card and everything.”

The three guards shared a glance. I wasn’t privy to its significance, but didn’t like how it looked.

“I’ll go talk to him,” said the stallion who had tried to take the cart. “If he wants to see you, he’ll come out.”

This time, I let him pull the table away. I waited there with the cold company of the other two guards. “So, is security always this tight?”

To my surprise, one of them actually answered. “It always is when Princess Celestia is traveling.”

“Huh? Where’d she go?”

He looked at me with a bored expression. “Don’t you read the newspaper? Autumn is coming, so it’s time for the Running of the Leaves down in Ponyville.”

Not wanting to look like an even bigger moron, I didn’t ask any more questions. Truthfully, I hadn’t learned any local news since arriving in Equestria. I had figured that my problem was a little more important than any I could read about.

I wasn’t counting, but maybe ten minutes passed before the guard came back with an empty cart. I prompted, “Well?”

He turned around and left again without a word. A little angry, I said to the other two, “I really need to see Spangles.”

“More than he needs to see you, evidently,” quipped one. I glanced back and forth between the pair for a moment before turning away.

Well, that didn’t go how I’d planned it at all. I kicked a few small rocks as I walked. It was a natural angry reaction. I remembered that I was supposed to be flying. Aww, but there was nothing to kick up there.

By the time I got back to the shop, my frustration had cooled but I was already hard at work thinking of a new plan. I still had the business card, so if all else failed I could just mail Spangles a letter. I didn’t know how fast the postal service was around here, but hopefully I wouldn’t have to wait a few days to get a reply. I had already been here long enough.

Steelie seemed to be sharing my mood, although probably for different reasons. I remembered the argument between he and Bend that I had interrupted that morning. I thought about asking, but decided I didn’t want to know.

I kept busy the rest of the day, but my mind was still going. Not that it helped. I didn’t manage to come up with any ideas besides continuing with my plan to pester Spangles. I wondered if the castle guard had even bothered to tell him that I was waiting.

I went home that evening and wondered what Vinyl and I were going to be eating this time. Wait, home? No, that was wrong. The apartment might be my residence, but it was a long way from where my heart was.

I stepped out in the hallway to knock on Vinyl’s door, but a grey mare had beaten me to it. “Ms. Scratch?” she called. “It’s Octavia.”

There was no response. Octavia turned away, spotting me. “Good evening, Mr. Miller.”

“Hello. I was looking for Vinyl, too.”

“Oh?”

I shrugged. “She likes my cooking, and I don’t mind the conversation. We have a working cooperation.”

Octavia smiled. “I didn’t want to be so bold as to immediately assume she was your special somepony.”

“My special…oh! No, she definitely isn’t.”

“So you’re eating dinner all alone, then?” she said. “If I remember correctly, your resident application said that your previous residence was in Baltimare. I don’t suppose you have many friends around here.”

“That’s right,” I admitted.

“I’m going to be playing a short set at a jazz club just down the street tonight. I can vouch that the food is good, and the company is usually decent.”

I debated that for a moment. I had never been to a jazz club before, but in my mind I pictured a place with dim lights, quiet music, and calm crowds. It sounded like a good place to relax a little, and I sure needed it. “Alright, sounds fun.”

Octavia gave me one of her prim little smiles and went away to get her instrument. The large case pretty much dwarfed her, although she carried it with ease. I offered to help, but she declined.

The two of us stepped out onto the street. I looked up at the side of the building, counting windows. The lights were on in Vinyl’s apartment. I frowned. I had thought she wasn’t home.

A couple of blocks away, Octavia and I came to a building. Polsfuss was the name of the club. I didn’t try to pronounce it. Octavia led me through the door. A slick-looking stallion nodded to her. Octavia said, “He’s with me, Iridium.”

The pony nodded. I noticed he was leaning on a cash register, and realized Octavia had just gotten me in without a cover charge.

“Somepony should be around to take your order soon. I’m only going to be here about half an hour. Like I said, it’s a short set.” Octavia turned towards the stage.

“Hey,” I said. “Thanks.”

She gave me an uncharacteristic wink. “You’re welcome. Just pay your rent on time.”

I had a seat. It turned out to be a slow night, and Mr. Iridium was also the waiter. I asked him for whatever was good.

A few minutes later, the band had begun to play. Besides Octavia, there were three other ponies who played guitar, trumpet and oboe. I wished I knew something about jazz so I could tell if that was a normal arrangement or not.

My food came. It was flowers in some kind of sauce. “End of the season,” said Iridium. “Autumn begins tomorrow, so you won’t be seeing these for a while.” He placed a mug of apple cider on the table. “And here’s something for the upcoming season.”

I’d already managed to wrap my head around eating hay, so the jump to flowers wasn’t so bad. Really, the dish tasted kind of like a sweet salad. The cider, on the other hand, was ridiculously good, and I had to be careful not to finish it before I cleaned up the meal.

The band had been a nice background, and after putting my plate aside I set my full attention on them. I figured Octavia had practiced with the group before. None of the musicians were using sheet music, but they were still playing perfectly together. I sat there until the set was finished and applauded politely with the rest of the listeners.

I paid my bill, which was a little more than I wanted to spend, but not surprising. Octavia slung her instrument case on her back again, and we began walking back to the apartment building in the gathering darkness.

“I liked that,” I said. Truthfully, jazz wasn’t my thing, but I felt more relaxed than I had in days.

Octavia started to reply, but was suddenly cut off as a hooded pony jumped at us from a side street. I was closest, and spun in place, trying to keep my front to the attacker. The pony wove to the side, and I reacted like the untrained human I was – I punched at the face.

That was a terrible move for a person to make. The skull is thick and finger bones are small. Luckily, you can’t break what you don’t have, and my hoof collided solidly without causing me any pain. The pony stumbled back before turning tail and running.

“What in the world?” exclaimed Octavia. She started to pull me away. I let her, my heart still going a hundred miles an hour. She had been behind me with her line of sight blocked, and would probably be as panicked as I if she had seen the attacker drop a knife as they fled – like I had.

“You must be very well trained,” she said.

“Uh…where did you get that idea?”

“I took a self defense class once. He was clearly moving to stop a buck from you, and you changed it up with a forehoof strike.”

Lucky me. I said, “So it was a he?”

Octavia shrugged. “I’m guessing. It didn’t seem like a very mare thing to do.”

“Do you know of anypony that wants to hurt you?” I asked.

“I can’t think of any. What about you?”

“I haven’t been here long enough to make any enemies.” I hoped.

We kept talking on the way back. It would be very hard to file a police report, considering we hadn’t seen our assailant, no harm had been done to us, and I doubted I had done much to him. Also, I was still plagued with the problem that I had no legal identification.

While I didn’t tell Octavia that last bit, I managed to convince her that what had happened wasn’t important. We said goodbye and returned to our respective apartments.

When I woke up in the morning, my place was chilly. Oh yeah, autumn was here. I figured I needed a few blankets. While I was at it, I should get a pillow. I sighed. Or just get a bed and everything?

Vinyl answered her door only after I shouted for her. I asked where she had been the night before.

“Ah, I just went to sleep early.” She grinned.

I decided not to ask. I had no idea what I would ask about, but decided not to do it anyway. There was already so much strangeness going on that I didn’t need hers on top of mine. I didn’t tell her about the pony with the knife, either.

After breakfast, I headed down the street. There was a crispness in the air that took more than just a little sunshine to drive away. Yeah, the season had definitely changed. I noticed that the trees seemed to have lost their leaves, too.

I got to the shop early, arriving first. Bend, Sawtooth, and Bucket came in not long after.

I wondered where Steelie was.