• Published 28th Jun 2012
  • 18,623 Views, 601 Comments

The Piano Man - The Sentient Cloud



A pianist from Earth is summoned to Equestria - to become a piano-playing playing slave.

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Epilogue: Part 2 - Aftermath

Celestia sighed as she looked out over Canterlot. The city was beautiful at night, sparkling with the illumination of it's many hundreds of small lights.

This had not been what she’d expected. A development like this occurred once every few hundred years – and she had thought that Discord's return had cleared for the next few centuries. The best example of Gamblers Fallacy one could ever ask for, because then all of… this… happened.

“You are troubled, sister.”

The white Alicorn turned to Luna, giving her a weary look, before turning back to the city without replying. Her sister continued talking.

“Sister, neither of us saw this coming. You mustn’t regret the unavoidable.”

“But it was avoidable, Luna.” Celestia replied softly. “If we had just remembered.

“Once again, dear Celestia, neither of us remembered.” Her sister attempted to console her. “It was so long ago. You can’t blame yourself for not remembering something that happened when we were fillies.”

“I can, and I will.” Celestia turned away from the balcony, and returned to the empty throne-room. “The human suffered so much, because we weren’t attentive enough. We should have been more watchful.”

“And that is in the past, Tia.” Luna’s voice had grown a hard edge. “You of all ponies should know that Alicorns shouldn’t dwell on the past. Now we must concern ourselves with the future – The human’s future.”

“The future is important – Very important.” Celestia’s voice had also acquired a hard edge. “And of course we should not dwell on the past… but neither should we simply shun it. Shunning the past is what caused so much that has happened – including this.”

“Some parts of the past need to be shunned.” Luna snapped. “Some very, specific, parts, sister.

Celestia brought up one hoof, and ran it through her mane. She was getting a headache. Of all times for this to come out, why now? She had a tortured human recovering under the care of her private physician. This was not the time to argue over what happened to Luna.

“Luna, this is truly not the time to talk about this. We have a far more pressing matter, and what issues we have….” Celestia turned to look her sister in the eye. “…can be sorted out when we are not dealing with the future of a fellow sentient being.”

Luna’s glare - which had been becoming extremely heated – softened considerably, and she grimaced.

“You’re right, of course. There is a more pressing matter at hoof…” She looked away. “But believe me, dear sister, we will talk about this.”

Celestia nodded. “I promise, dear sister. We will.”

She turned back to the balcony once more, suddenly feeling an insatiable desire to go out and stand in the night air once more.

“We need to make sure everything is seen to. Accommodation, food, all the necessities and as many luxuries as we can provide. We need to set this right, Luna. Trixie must face justice, and the human must be made well.”

“Of course.” Luna joined her sister, and they both looked out over the rather restricted view of Canterlot that standing inside provided. “I am sure Twilight Sparkle will be able to watch over the human until we can get everything in order.”

“I’m sure she can.”

The ruler of the night nodded, and then turned to her sister yet again. “You should rest, Tia. You are of no use to the kingdom if you are unwell.”

Now it was Celestia’s turn to reply with a solemn; “Of course.”, as she turned towards the large double doors of the throne room.

“I will tell Twilight to be as un-invasive as possible, and to give the human space to recover.” She spoke quietly, almost as if it was an afterthought.

Luna watched as her sister walked away. The discovery had shaken them both – and Cadance even more so. The young princess had not left her chambers since the day of the Gala, and her husband had been evasive in his reports of her condition – which was excusable, for now.

The Princess of the Night walked out onto the balcony, taking the place formerly occupied by her sister.

“Sleep, Celestia.” She mumbled sadly. “All will be well. One must simply have a little faith in the goodness of others.”

***

I am seated on my balcony, savouring the cool night air as I look out over the shimmering lights of Canterlot.

Twilight sits next to me. Unlike me, her eyes are not absorbing the wonders of the city. They rest solely on me. Needless to say, it’s slightly disconcerting.

I’m not sure why she’s watching me. Does she think I’ll just stand up and jump over the edge? Because I’m honestly past that now. Now I just want to put this behind me – which will be a difficult task in itself.

I feel a mixture of happiness and guilt at the moment. I’m sitting here, in Canterlot, with the Twilight Sparkle right next to me. I am seriously living out the dream of every Brony in existence.

But that’s also why I feel so terrible. Twilight is sitting next to me, creating the most awkward silence I have ever endured.

It’s my fault, of course. I’ve been so tight-lipped. I haven’t said my name, or my age, or spoken a word about anything except my imprisonment under Trixie.

I suppose you’re wondering why. Honestly, it’s because I’m afraid. I don’t know what’s safe to say, and what isn’t safe to say.

What I definitely don’t want to do is tell them that My Little Pony exists as a show. I’m also worried about saying anything about earth. The consequences could be… severe…

The biggest issue is that I only have one shot at this. If I fuck up, I could ruin everything. I’m not exactly sure how, but I’m sure I’d find a way. Honestly, I have no clue how telling the mare my name could be bad, but for now I’m just going to keep my trap shut until I’ve had some time alone to think.

Twilight coughs quietly. I have no clue if she’s trying to get my attention, but she gets it anyway.

I turn to look at her – and she in turn quickly looks away. All of this is clearly uncomfortable for her. Twilight has so many questions that I know she’s dying to ask. To her credit, she’s showing incredible self-restraint.

“Twilight, I know you have a lot of questions.” I stand up slowly, grasping my walking-stick. It didn’t take long to get one, and now that I have it, I can walk around – no matter how painful such an action is. “And I know you’ve been told not to ask them.”

“Right.” Twilight’s voice is surprised. To her it seems like I’ve just made an amazing guess.

“Well, when I’ve had some time, feel free to ask them. Trust me, I have a lot to tell you… just not right now.” I turn back to the double-doors that lead into my hospital room.

“I under-” The confused lavender mare attempts to speak again, but I cut her off
.

“But hold onto that curiosity, please. If you hadn’t followed up on your curiosity, Trixie would have put me down by now, and be off scot-free.” I grimace as Twilight opens the door for me.

“Thanks.” Am I thanking her for the door, or for freeing me? No, just the door. A simple thanks isn’t enough to show my appreciation for being set free.

We re-enter the hospital room, and I hobble back to my bed, letting out a little groan as I sink into the mattress.

We both fall into silence once more, and I smile ever so slightly.

“You can talk now. I won’t interrupt again.”

Twilight raises an eyebrow. My odd mixture of forwardness and secretiveness has her perplexed.

“I have to say, I’m very confused. Are all humans like you?”

“No.” I chuckle half-heartedly. “Humans have very varied personalities. Let me rest, and then I’ll be able to tell you a bit more.”

Twilight perks up, gaining more interest at the promise of information.

We say our goodnights, and she finally leaves me alone with my thoughts.

I sigh and roll over, slowly working my way under the sheets. I’m sure I can tell Twilight a little about human society, as long as it isn’t related to the show.

I wonder what will happen now. What’s going to happen to Trixie? What will happen to me?

Then again, I suppose for now I can just be happy that for the first time in almost a month, I have control over my own life.

For now, anything aside from that is secondary.

I haven’t been awake for that long - Six hours, at the most – and yet I already feel tired. Everything takes a lot more effort while I’m still suffering from this stab wound.

It’s ironic. Now that I can do things other than just sleep and play the piano, all I want to do is sleep. I can’t wait until that stops. I have so much to do here. So very much.

My slight smile remains fixed on my face as a nestle down into my blankets. Unbelievably, I’m already struggling to keep my eyes open.

Equestria. It’s real. It’s here. I’m here.

Getting here was difficult, and extremely painful, but I’m here. And I’m going to try and make the best of it. After all, this is what I always wanted.

Well… that, and a grand piano.

Author's Note:

Well, there we have it. The Piano Man is over. I don't really have much to add, aside from a heartfelt thanks to all 800 of my regular readers, for doing what you guys do best. (Reading)

So with that in mind, I present to you... The sequel.
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Piano Man: Act II.


I have some extra thoughts to add here, which are being added along with the August 19th revisions.
I have to say, I am extremely pleased with the popularity of The Piano Man and its sequel. Compared to many stories on the site, it is still relatively small and unnoticed. However, when compared with the plethora of other Human in Equestria stories, it is much more substantial.

I myself am quite happy with the view count, and the number of favourites. (Although that’s the favourite number for The Piano Man: Act II.)
What makes me even happier, is that my story is original. I could have produced another of the dozens – possibly hundreds - of generic HiE stories that involved a Brony or a human randomly finding their way into Equestria. Instead, I came up with this piece of grim Trixie-bashing literature.

I’m not going to claim that I’m better than other authors, because I’m not. I never will be. Such a notion is absurd. I can never claim to be a better writer than those around me. Ever.
What I’m happy about, is that no matter what you say, I believe this story to be original. Despite the times that I have used a little too much artistic license, or the plot points that seem a little too improbable, I managed to create 30,000 words that I have never found anywhere else.
And this makes me happy.

So, to all of my readers, I would like to humbly thank you for reading my story, and making me feel like maybe – just maybe – I’m not wasting time that could be better spent doing something far more productive. :p

(As there will most likely be another round of revisions following this current one, there will most likely be a third part added to my closing thoughts. I’m not sure why I’m noting this, but I just am.)

Comments ( 108 )

Author's Note:

Just a little extra scrap/first block to tell you guys that you REALLY need to read the 'Closing Thoughts' section at the end of the epilogue. It contains a link to the sequel.

1071547

NOPE.AVI

Anyway great end to act one. Now for the epicness of act TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

DAMNED SEQUEL BAIT!

You know that without having witnessed Trixie's punishment I won't be able to drop this.

So, with all courtesy,
FUCK
YOU.

1071547 *ahem*

Maybe you should take a closer look first. I always make sure I have an author's note, so that no matter what, there's no-one boasting about getting a first post. :trixieshiftleft:

I loved every part of this story.

1071573 :trollestia: I'm sure you'll get your satisfaction, but I'm not rushing it. You may be in for a bit of a wait.

1071574 Awwwwww.... :fluttercry:

Still though, nice ending. I'm in the middle of reading the sequel. :twilightsmile:

1071589
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1070326
"Getting here was difficult, and extremely painful, but I’m here. And I’m going to try and make the best of it. After all, this is what I always wanted.
Well… that, and a grand piano."

"that, and a grand piano"

"grand piano" ಠ_ಠ

you think that after he went through so much he wouldnt want to look at another piano much less want one

I'm not going to lie this is not a joke I'm crying right now because I saw that sequel button. This is such a great story filled with so much.......thank you, you make living another day worthwhile:fluttershysad:

1071937 I'm not staying that he STILL wants a grand piano, it's just a reference to the fact that he spent the entire story bitching non-stop about how he never got to use one.

1072189 Oh... Well, I'm glad I could have such an impact, and that you love the story so much. Thanks for reading. :pinkiesmile:

1073356 Yeah, it should have decapitated him, but then the story happened. :trixieshiftleft:

1073794 It was the popular vote - and I was planning on it anyway. Do you think everyone would think so highly of the Piano Man if he murdered Trixie?

1073937 Punching her in the face? Hell no! That'd wake her up, and then she'd take control again.

Er. mah. gerd.
This is brilliant.
Got here from the feature on Part two, off to read that now.

1074706 Uhh... I just checked the chapter, and there is no bold. :twilightsheepish:

1075729 Always happy to entertain with my twisted and sadistic mind. :pinkiehappy:

1075867 Satisfying, and mildly creepy.
Decapitation. It's the word of the day kids! :pinkiecrazy:

1076859 Huh. I'm surprised I never thought of that.
Good idea. A little late, but good.

Well, this is certainly a new way of going HiE. A very original plot, might I add. While the plot was very good, I'm hoping to know more about Trixie and why she was such a bitch. From her diaries, we are given glimpses of her perspective... and I am dying to call Manic-Depressive Psychosis on her ass and that herb being Lithium filled. I think that, so far, the human's emotions were portrayed very well (the character's actions as well), but I find a certain lack in the descriptive language (since he doesn't see much of the outside, he should get more "acquainted" with his cell). Still, this could be you writing this in order to make the reader as "confused" as the caged human. I'll have to read Act II and see for myself. But so far, thumbs up.

1078560 I decided to leave the descriptions vague, and give the readers a bit more imaginative licence with how they envisaged the environments.

1078805 I never claim a pony to be ANY color unless I've double-checked with the wiki. You can check on Sweetie Bell's page.

1081629 Nice and dark. Just the way barely anyone likes it.
Yes, the Piano Man has a name - although he won't reveal it until a significant time.

This was beautiful

This stories concept is incredibly interesting, I must say I loved it.

when you see a trixe you stomp stomp it in the face

Wow... I should have gotten around to reading this sooner. In my defense, I still have 67 unread chapters in my "favorites" list, and another 95 items filed under "read later".

Several times the story refers to Trixie having a BLUE aura. Was that intentional? In the TV show it was purple just like Twilight's. The only ponies that I recall with a blue aura are... Rarity and Luna.

Clearly there is something wrong with Trixie in this story. She is broken in the head somehow. The most infuriating thing is that she could have been friendly and made this guy a partner instead of a slave to be tortured, and in all likelihood he would have enjoyed touring Equestria and performing with her. It could have been a dream come true, but Trixie made it a nightmare -- for no readily apparent reason.

For some reason during the whole story I kept thinking of Boxer Shorts Piano Guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IozLPUY7nJw

Wow, this was one of, if not THE most darkest human in equestria fic i have ever read, and i loved it!

Delayed replies because I have been very busy.

1085153 While that does make sense, it doesn't make for a very interesting story, does it? :rainbowwild:

1105418 That's my own fault. I always just envisaged Trixie with a blue aura to match her coat...
Anyway, I fixed all instances to Magenta with the August 19th revisions. (I want to get this on EqD SO much)

1114086 It may be dark, but 'tis original, my friend. :ajsmug:

You seem to be very specific about your word count. 30k words EXACTLY CANT be a coincidence.

1128104
...
What. The. F**k.

That IS a coincidence. After the August 19 revisions, the word-count was at 30,002. Now I need to edit the final thoughts in the last chapter.
...And maybe put a little note in the story info.

Man, that is WEIRD.

1139336 Damn, man. That is insane. If it was intentional, you are some CDO freak.

1139889 Either way, you are one lucky dude.

This is exactly the second fic with a 'dark' tag that I've ever given a thumbs up to. You deserve it.

Aaaaaand there goes my happy night with that note at the end of the story. :ajsleepy::ajbemused:

1158635 Hmm? Why? I'm not taking a jab at other HiE stories, or anything.

1158701
I know you weren't personally insulting anybody else's work, but in the majestic gulf of time and space, my jimmies rustle softly every time I read anything about "every HiE being the same". Don't get me wrong, there are some great HiE's out there, but with every good one there are about two bad ones. I'm trying to keep ideas and interest flowing for my HiE I'm writing, but every day I read things about people saying "all HiE's are the same", and that makes me lose even more instrest in my own writing.

Let me just step off my soap box.
Okay, I'm off. :ajsleepy:

1158756 If I may go all :trollestia: for a moment.

"I could have produced another of the dozens – possibly hundreds - of generic HiE stories that involved a Brony or a human randomly finding their way into Equestria."

Note that I never actually use the statement 'Every HiE being the same'.
Ahh... That's satisfying.

Anyway, on a more serious note: My comment was not particular to HiE. I was thinking more of the BiE concept, where some random Brony arrives in Equestria and then a whole load'a nothing happens.

1158795
Ah.

Oh well, I've had my fill of commenting on this for now. I'm reading Act II tomorrow. :moustache:

Starting on Act 1 after reading an update to Act 2. Ready, set, go, impressions later.

1195144 Like I said in the comments for Act II, if you don't want to read this story then you can just go back over the summary of Act I in the first chapter of Act II,

1195964 I do not like missing out on parts of the plot; plus, it was not such a long read (unfortunately). Unlike the second act, the first one seems a bit rushed to me, like you had a long period of time to cover and not enough events to fill the gaps. I still like it, and I like it a lot, but I am glad that Act 2 is taking a slow-and-steady approach.

TL;DR

t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR-U2tp4NWKeE2ChZBjkmeeumpWgRXB-DEgEY4zPKbEhBAW6S4mhA&t=1

I can't comprehend how someone like Trixie can exist in this place. It actually kept preventing my suspension of disbelief from kicking in, because it was just so incongruous with the setting.

Also I am disappointed that Trixie isn't dead. Still, at least he got to smash off her horn and brain her with a metal bar. Who knows, maybe she'll die in the sequel. One can only hope. *opens next story*

This is the first time I've actually debated with myself whether or not I should favorite and like a story. There's my inner critic that is screaming 'No, don't do it', but in the end, the story isn't half bad and I don't regret reading it, even though there was much in it that wasn't of the quality it could have been.
What's important is that this story isn't afraid to break the mold. Trixie is placed in a redeeming light in so many stories, and this story makes no qualms about depicting her as a sick, twisted, and selfish pony. This story wants to stand out among the crowd, and it does. It starts from a good concept and the transpiring events are interesting enough to hold up the narrative.
That said, the storytelling is at times very cliche or loses momentum for the sake of a 'fourth wall' comment. After I finished the narrator's intro, I debated whether or not I should even continue to read. It reads like every Quentin Tarantino cliche rolled into one. Luckily, these cliches and poor storytelling aren't apparent through every moment of the story, but occur often enough to draw away from the quality of it.
By the final third of the story, the style is very much improved and fleshed out, but instead the grammar suffers horribly. Grammar errors aren't too apparent in the beginning, but run rampant through the tail end of the story, and break up the setting that the author has spent so much effort creating.
Critiques aside, in the end I enjoyed this, which is in itself rare for me, as I tend to avoid both dark and HiE fics like the plague. The dark parts are handled well, the story achieves what it sets out to do, and the narrator acts accordingly in the end to the trauma he's lived through. This story could have been a lot better, but it is still a worthy reading, as well as a great learning and growing experience for the author.

Good luck with your future efforts! :twilightsmile:

1208700 Well... I think the comments in the second story - and a monologue by the Piano Man himself - explains how she was able to function in pony society. (Basically that other ponies weren't willing to believe that she could be so evil.)

1221236 Excellent points. I have to agree that this story is... well, not as well-written as it could be. Now I will need to look over the last 4-5 chapters for mistakes that were missed in the August 19th revisions. (I think I know how they slipped through. During my revisions, I do not think I paid very much attention to the final four or so chapters, as I had faith in my more recently written sections. Obviously a bad move.) Most of The Piano Man in general was not properly proof-read, which has since been corrected.

On that note: If you are looking for better quality writing, then I must steer you in the direction of the sequel. Of course, I can understand if you are hesitant to start it, but I assure you that it is much better written than this story, and far more popular. Just so that I can be sure of it's quality, I'm on the brink of looking over the already published chapters again, (Chapter one in particular, as that's the most important one for new readers) which I do believe are still fairly well written anyway. :twilightsheepish:
Honestly, I would recommend reading the first two chapters. If you don't like it by that point, then by all means, abandon the story. I just ask for the benefit of the doubt. :twilightsmile:

1222822
Trust me, I planned on reading it, but wanted to see where the story began first. I'm already sure I'll enjoy the second part more, as it falls under genres I personally enjoy, as well as my assumption that writers get better with time.

1223089 Excellent! I eagerly await your well thought-out critiquing for future chapters. (After you get caught up, of course.)

1223096
Lol well don't hold your breath. I have about five fanfics I'm supposed to be reviewing, and I started reading Piano Man to distract myself from finishing my own draft. It's on my never-ending 'read later' list though.
Also, from what I saw of your blog entry, I would advise against submitting to EqD for this story. Sethisto will never allow a Trixie bashing story on the site, plus you don't want the kind of attention that community will bring. Keep in mind that 90% of people who read fic because it's posted on EqD don't know anything outside of FO:E

1223115 Yeah... You're probably right.

This is now my favourite story now, because you manage to pace yourself instead of getting excited and getting to the good parts. you rcharacter is not immature and stupid like most characters on this site and its not supposed to be you. great story well done. :coolphoto:

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