• Member Since 1st Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Mountainmanmad


You want to know how to write a good story? You take a group of interesting, likable, wonderful characters, and you turn their lives into Hell on Earth. -- Chris Claremont


T
Source

Hello, my name is Robin. Well, it used to be Madison before getting ripped from my universe and thrown through the void.

So there I was getting ready for an awesome time at a convention before I had to return to my studies. I used to be a scholar of military history and tactics. I always enjoyed furthering my education and I saw knowledge as the greatest of powers. Turns out that's a great field to study if you're going to be thrown into a feudal environment!

So suddenly I find myself in Equestria, looking like Robin from Fire Emblem: Awakening, and the Royal Sisters are trying to hunt me down. I can't really blame them, I can get a little... enthusiastic when learning new magic.

This story is set in the Displaced multiverse.
________________________________________________

This is the first story I've ever done of ponies and the first one I'm writing for FimFiction. I'm not the best author, but I like to think my writing is decent enough that the plot won't crumble. I'm always striving to be a better writer so don't be afraid to point out any mistakes you may find.

Special thanks to KiaraGate for helping me with the story. Thanks for letting me bounce ideas off of you, you've helped me a lot!

*As the story progresses I may add additional tags and or characters.

Chapters (33)
Comments ( 1483 )

Interesting.
I don't see why people have already put bad notation. :rainbowhuh:
I'll wait and see what come next, and then, will give you my opinion.

5532427

Yea, made me feel real warm and fuzzy inside when I saw two down votes and only one view when I uploaded it! Ah well.
I don't claim to be a good writer and I write for the joy of sharing my ideas.
The biggest issue I'm having right now with the story is how I want to go about implementing game mechanics. I plan on going with a hybrid version of sort, but I'm not sure how well it'll be received.

Anyway, thanks for giving me a chance. I hope I don't disappoint.

I am interested, especially to see if you fit your character into the whole 'Displaced' Thing, like I have. Plus, I fricking love Fire Emblem!:pinkiehappy:

Interesting character. Let's see how he gets along with the Princesses.

5532469 write what you feel like and if you look back at it and say "I like this" your good to go:twilightsmile:

5532483

Yea, this story is set in the displaced multiverse. I plan on doing some flash backs once in a while and a detailed description of the merchant. Not sure if anyone will want to do a crossover with me in the future, but we'll see.

I love Fire Emblem as well and Robin is easily my favorite character of the entire series. There's just something about him and his personality I enjoy.

5532535

Trying to give him a realistic personality is one of the issues I'm going through. He's smart, cunning and plans ahead. He can be, however, egotistical and enthusiastic.

5532557

True enough! If the writer doesn't enjoy their own story then how will the reader?

Interesting... :trixieshiftright:
I'll keep an eye on this story, see where it goes.
And for the record, so far so good :pinkiesmile:

The story seems to be coming along just fine, for now. It's nice to see another LoHAH'verse story come to light. I'll be following this one, me thinks, if not just for the Fire Emblem. Only issues I have so far are a few minor grammar errors and the use of Discord as just a measly plot device. I'm also a bit confused as to how long Robin has been conscious in his stone statue. He states that he's been thinking about his actions for 20 odd years now but also mentions a plan from 1500 years ago, which I presume is to have Discord free him and that the plan was also made before he was petrified by the Elements. 'Course there was no guarantee that he would be turned to stone in the first place, as the Elements seem to do something different based on what the target is and what the intention of the user is.

Of course it's only the first chapter and things still need to be presented and settled, that much I can admit. As for Robin's powers and the strength of such as well as his 'duel' with Celestia, I'm waiting with bated breath for the next installment. :pinkiehappy:

In the past he time and time again outwitted both

Needs a comma after past.

Let me free if you should fall

A comma after free and some puncuation at the end.

I watched at as Discord’s eyes continued to grow brighter the further along I explained my plan.

Sounds awkward, I suggest, "Discord's eyes were practically glowing with mischief as I finished my explanation."

Because of the wonderful karma I have I was horribly surprised when

Comma after have.

The day after Discords defeat there was

Apostrophe on Discord.

5532770

Thanks, hopefully I can maintain a sense of decency! :pinkiecrazy:

5532781

I'm glad I caught your interest. Hopefully I can keep it sustained. Thanks also for pointing out the grammatical errors. I already made the changes and it means a lot to me you'd go out of your way to point them out. In regards to some of your questions, allow me to shed a little light without ruining too much of the story. For starters, Robin knew that Discord would one day be released. From this he was forced to make a highly dangerous and risky move.

As far as Discord being a measly plot device, it actually pained me to do this. Discord is one of my favorite characters, but I had to take into consideration my character's personality and ideals. Robin loathes Discord due to his random and wild nature. He's a creature that Robin can't mentally pick apart and put back together. In Robin's eyes, this makes Discord a wild card and a liability. So he used him as a means to an end to escape and refused to warn him of his imminent imprisonment. He was killing two birds with one stone.

tracking, not good enough for a fave...yet. We'll see how this goes first.

5532879

Fair enough! I want to earn those stars!

lots of promise.
...hopefully he is able to give Sunbutt and her sister a massive "reason you suck/what the hell hero" speech when they meet again.
keep up the good work

5532935

I do have something like that planned. The reason Robin was imprisoned in the first place was simply due to the Royal Sisters fearing what he could do, not necessarily what he did do. Needless to say he's a bit peeved at the alicorns and would jump at the chance to knock them down a peg or two.

Don't know what you mean by the '/what the hell hero' part though. :rainbowhuh:

5532973
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatTheHellHero
"When characters In-Universe call out one of the heroes for doing something clearly unheroic, if not outright heinous. "

I'm trying to write a Fire Emblem: Awakening crossover fix as well. I really like your so far, though. Keep it up!

5533090

Yea, that kind of revolves around Robin.
Let me put it this way: Robin can use Dark tomes

5533108

It's a crossover, yes, but it's set in the Displaced multiverse. Robin will not have the same personality as the one from the games.

Interesting.
Solid start.
Keep up the good work.
I will want to see more before I make a judgement.

Now~
TRADE PLACES!

5533232

Thanks!
The beginning needs to catch the readers attention.
I won't let you down!
Of course, I have a long way to go!

eh?
Bwah~!

5533124
I've never heard of the Displaced universe theme. Although, I'm trying to make my story's Robin character have a sort of different personality as well.

5533113
dark magic?
dark? or EVIL? because sometimes... there is a difference...

5533592

Dark magic, and yes, I believe there is a difference, but the Royal Sisters may not see it that way. Dark magic exists in Fire Emblem and contains some of the more... violent attacks of the series. This ranges all the way from draining a victims life force to raising the dead.

5533578

I highly suggest you check it out, it's easily my favorite theme.

5533634
wouldnt both have non evil uses?
i.e. drain SOME of a healthy ponies life force (i'm assuming if you take small enough amounts, it regenerates) and give it to one thats dying?
necromancy could be used to bring back murder victims so that they can tell the police who the murderer was, as well as make sure the killer cant kill themselves to escape justice.

5533780

You're correct on both accounts, but it's a bit more complicated in Fire Emblem. While I don't want to ruin too much of the story, I will say that Robin has had a LOT of time to study his magic. It's not purely bound by the laws of the game world since this is supposed to be real life. So he may be able to take the life force of a pony and transfer it to a wounded pony.

Necromancy in Fire Emblem is not so forgiving. Even in the games, those who summon the dead are looked down upon. The Dark magic brings back the body, but it does not return the soul. The magic amplifies the dead's skin and muscles, toughening it, turning the corpse into a weapon. It is nothing short of defiling the dead.

Interesting. He's pissed at the Princesses for rashly declaring him an enemy of the state but seems to at least not be petty enough to go "revenge time now." Or maybe he's just farsighted enough to know that making ammends benefits him more in the end.

I'm interested to see what the source of conflict could be here, aside from obvious "I don't trust you problems." I'd also like to know mor about his personality. Is he brilliant but easygoing? Is he in intellectual snob who likes to show off his superiority? Is he a troll?

Looking forward to more.

5534421

Robin wouldn't miss the chance to destroy the Princesses with words, but he'll never initiate violence against them. He wont, however, have any problems retaliating with force when threatened. Robin conducted multiple plans during his time in stone, leaning towards the goal of remaining free once released(Thinking of doing a side chapter in the future highlighting some of his major plans). Robin is heavily farsighted, always thinking of future gain rather then short term goals. Hell, he went through with a plan that was 1500 years in the making. He's either brilliant, stupid or lucky.

Robin's personality will be brought to light during the second chapter as well as his power and use of magic. I should be able to get it uploaded by tomorrow night!

Well hope at least the two bitches get what they deserves, a good painful humiliation which followed with death !!!

5533634 every time I hear people fearing dark magic in fire emblem, I think of Canas from Fire Emblem Blazing Sword.
"I have skill in a form of Elder magic. Some call it dark magic, a rather biased term if you will..." Canas to this day is my favorite dark mage in the entire series, because he defies all of the dark magician cliches in Fire Emblem, not to mention he's among the best characters in the whole game too.

5535015

Your avatar fits very well with what you just said. Don't know why you want to see the Royal Sisters dead though!

5535624

This isn't the world of Fire Emblem though, where Dark magic is semi-common. this is the tutti-frutti world of Equestria. Dark magic is practically unheard of and any practice of it will label you as a villain.

5535977 like I said before canas defies the dark mage cliches in every fire emblem game. Most are more like Tharja.

5536267

If I didn't decide on Robin as being the main character I would have chosen Henry. His attitude would have been perfect for Equestria.

Finally! A GOD DAMN TACTICIAN! After all this time, we finally got one like this!

5536871

What, you mean the type of human who is smart, powerful and able to outwit almost all of his enemies?

5536979
More like someone who will plan ahead an ungodly amount just to make sure their goals are met, unlike most who just *cringes* wing it...

5536998

It seems like most HiE stories revolve around 'just winging it'. It'll be harder to write a character to plans so much, but It's something I want to see happen.

Interesting. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

5537568

Working on it right now! It required some serious revision so I might not get it out tonight.

5537578
Well, take your time on it and make it quality.

I made the mistake of rushing one of my chapters and it was really bad.

giz

I like the concept, but many authors follow the same line
turned to stone by a confucion or because they really deserved it
is broken by discord
he wants revenge
forgive princesses and are best friends
etc

I would recommend that at least not end up like best friends princesses, after all sealed in stone for 1000 years, and that's one of the worst torture I've seen this sort of thing should be done with demons, gods Fallen , when there is no choice, and seeing that your protagonist is a decent person exceeded
in the best case, civilized behavior

5538027

I used this concept because it's the norm for a displaced story. most displaced stories have the main character trapped in stone or sealed away (that I've read).

As far as forgiving the princesses, that will take some time. He will never be best friends with them, but he won't go out of his way to harm them either.

I will wait to like or dislike this, but I'm definitely intrigued with your way of representing Robin. While the method used here is commonly used, I can overlook that since I am a very huge Fire Emblem fan. However, due to Robin's superior mind, I believe that he would have had more options than just the two you pointed out.

5539238

Robin did have other options, but he discarded them early on. He could have left Equestria and traveled to the Griffon kingdom as one example. He didn't want to because he knows Equestria well at this point and has made the Everfree his home. I'm thinking of doing a side chapter detailing his time in stone including all his plans and bouts of crazy over a 1500 year period.

Trying to think of some future conflict for the story. on that note, who here approves of this pony --> :trixieshiftright:

5535957 Because their a joke of a monachy, sure if their a noble council they would have one prince or princess but four is just morking the monachy system.

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