I used to be a regular person with regular problems. I was enjoying my time at Comicon until I bought that stupid book. Next thing I know, I'm in Equestria and I've got all of Sasuke Uchiha's powers and abilities. Trying not to get trapped in stone, I befriended the pony inhabitants and tried to help them out. That was a mistake. I accidentally destroyed some stuff and ended up stoned anyway. I won't be here much longer. And I won't make the same mistake twice.
Inspired by LoHAV and Displaced stories. This is my first story so criticism is welcome.
Chapters (31)
seems interesting enough I'll put it on my read later list for now
And of course, another glorified Cosplay story filled with the most convoluted reasons behind the main character's transformation. Are people so used to their main characters being such uninteresting blank slates that they feel the need to put them in the shoes of another fictional character? The reasoning behind this is about as sound as a foundation constructed out of twigs.
Man, this fad just didn't know when to die out, did it?
5401457 As a moderator of /r/Fanfiction, I find this comment a little idiotic. The point that is being missed is that amazing characters like Sasuke have such appealing personalities that making another one would be pointless. Why waste the time making a good character when one has already been made? This comment is one of the many reasons why I'll never use fimfiction as a solid standard for fanfiction submissions in /r/Fanfiction. Good day to you le gentlesir tips fedora......
-Snuggly, moderator of /r/Fanfiction, collector of Naruto manga and current holder of 57 doge coins
5401457 man, I was surprised to see someone hate on a well written story, but I was even more surprised to see that he was the author of a story I had once read and enjoyed. and anyway, why put the main character in the shoes of a fictional one? because, unless that was already done with that fictional character, it is interesting to see how the main character handles it. even if that is not enough reason to convince you, just stop hating, dude
5401457
See someone else who understands how this is bullshit. Are people just ignorant nowadays about shit like this.
5401644
I know nautro Sasukes personality is not appealing at all. It's the same cookiecutter bullshit as other characters like him, and I am sick of that getting pass, but actual stories that try hard get shit on for having "OP" OC's even though they aren't. People need to get their heads out their asses and actually try something else for once.
5401836 Very true. Maybe a tale of le magical ponies buying fedoras or making dank memes. good day gentlesir/ m'lady tips fedora.....
I like it I wanna see where this goes.
5401915
Better than being an emo cookiecutter character like Sasuke who has no redeemable qualities to him whatsoever.
5401457
5401829
Honestly I don't see what everyone's issue with the cosplay stories are. It's just a part of what happens with fanfiction. If you look at any major series like Naruto, MLP, Harry Potter, Star Wars, all of them have certain little bandwagons that people jump on due to one story that was really good at doing said thing and everyone else wanted to give it a try. In Naruto a guy made a time travel fic called Yet Again with a Little Extra Help where Naruto and some of his friends went back in time. Now the biggest community for naruto fanfics is time travel fics. With Harry Potter there's a huge number of Harry living with Sirius and Star Wars has way too many fics of Anakin staying good. This just happens to be MLP's thing and I don't think that it's right to bash a story or an author just because they happen to like and want to put their own spin on a particular type of story.
5402248 Truer words have never been spoken.
5402248
I am sick though of seeing stories like this getting liked and positive comments on this stuff, meanwhile people who try to do something different get the shaft, this is just another one of those stories.
5401705
Forgive my jaded attitude, but the suspension of disbelief leaves me far too often with cosplay stories, especially through some magical mcguffin that knows how to give the powers of the person they're dressed as.
It just seems like a rather roundabout attempt to give a fictional character a different personality than the one they were written and established with. Can it be done right? Yes, but the unfortunate side effect of this cosplay fad is the introduction of a mass of mediocrity.
I'm sorry if I come off as a dick, but I have no qualms with the author's skill, just this accursed fad which i've had nothing but a horrible experience with.
5402248
YAWALEH was fucking awesome! I hate the God Mode OC's though (I may find them funny at times, but I'd still like to see someone kick the shit out of them). Its sequel, "Take Two, Round Two", has finally resumed updating...for the moment anyway.
nice i like to read more
5401457 as long as people give it attemtion it wont. After all someone goes on a rant and every comes running to see whats on fire.
I find all the comments saying "OMG DISPLACED STORY THIS IS SHIT" kinda stupid. Well it isn't like he advertised it as anything else. If you don't enjoy reading them then leave. The site is big enough for all these stories. Its not like these are getting in the feature box like they used to. Also there are plenty of stories that are contrived shit on any fanfiction site. Stop giving it shit unless you give everything not well written shit.
5402437 Lovely. Someone jaded towards a trop. Don't see that everyday, do you? Don't get me wrong, I am not attempting to verbally attack you in anyway or say anything negative in a round about way through a stream of words mostly unconnected as a way to hide the fact that I have previously used sarcasm as a way to insult you for a message you have written. I simply enjoyed your comment on how it is a
Because that's what it is in most cases. Or, at least, how it appears. Because honestly, how can we expect most, if not any, of the characters portrayed in these fics we read to behave as described if they had not been a human acting out through a costume that gave them powers. *sarcasm*
Honestly, I find that in most 'Cosplay LoHAV/LoHAH' fics, the humans simply become the character they are dressed as in attitude and actions over time to a point where I often forget that they were anyone else. In others I find the character to be rather bland and uninteresting, just another fool who has nothing but a copy and pasted power to their name.
And yes there are some good ones, the story which is playing host to this comment is an example of this (admittedly I only read this story because I planned to comment here and most likely will not be keeping up with it), as a cosplay fic can be done correctly, though most times just ends up a unwanted pile of abandoned words left to rot in the corners of this site.
Though at this point its more like a land fill.
And yes, I do write a 'human cosplay fic', in fact this comment took my attention away from my update writing session, so take that as you will to how you respond to this comment, if you choose to reply.
To the author. I thank you for sharing this story with the web, as I found it an interesting read, and I ask for you to keep up the good work as I find that for you to abandon this would be a waste. *Insert more generalized praise.*
5402402
I can see where you are coming from. I have three stories. One is a human cosplay fic. Another is a crossover where the main character is two people in one body (or is he?). And the last is a completely original tail about a shape shifting entity from our far future (which has magic) gets sent to Equestria after being banished for being a dick to the people of the world (oh, and he is a thief with very loose moral codes) and the first person he meets is a Breezie of a sub-species I created to expand the species. Guess which one does the best?
Can't wait for a new chapter ^__^
5403055
Cool! So whats your story about?
The sight of Sasuke still fills me with rage. That traitor didn't get his death. To Kishimoto I say fuck you. To Sasuke I say burn in hell, you traitor. The point? I will not read this fic. Clearly some attempt to give Sasuke redeeming traits. As impossible a task as slaying an ocean.
I'm imaging the book you bought looks like a Bingo Book. It make more sense (to me anyway) if it contains information on every jutsu and who uses them.
The Hiraishin? *pfft* You're playing a god damn Uchiha. Why not just use Kamui?
If you're going to have broken powers you may as well go for broke-as-fuck.
Meh...it's not bad. I like how you played mind games with Shining in an attempt to get him to grow stronger in the future. Although putting a bunch of genjutsu in his head could potentially backfire.
Too early for a like, and too early for a fave. I'll flag it under tracking for now.
5403133
Either the first or second one, because it's what people are used too, and honestly I know it comes across as me raging and I guess it others are free to say that. I just feel we are in a rather stubborn age were people want more of the same and less of a change. Sometimes change is good and sometimes it is bad, but we won't know if the change in a story is truly good or bad unless people actually give it a try, which I feel less people do. I honestly kind of like the way your original tale sounded.
5403796
Its not Sasuke.
5404136 5404136 it's the first one, and I totaly get where your coming from. Also, I'm glad you find my original story interesting, as I put a lot of effort into it. Hell, I spent a day reserching foreign languages to use for different species in the story. It's a world expansion fic. It's been mostly ignored and that hurts.
So much none essential hate in the comments, it surprises me really.
Look unsatisfied and disgruntled readers, if you don't like the "cosplayer gets send to equestria and becomes the character he impersonated stick", then how about leaving the story alone? Instead of complaining and moaning about how annoying it is to see such stories?
I think the lohav/lohah branch has come a good way ahead, there are plenty of authors and stories who intervene with each other, whenever they do their own characters face each other and it turns out none of them are even OP, since they can compete.
Gilgamesh is the best example I have right now, the author manages to make the story pretty interesting, in my opinion since he adds a lot of hammy remarks and comedy, yet it's not too random to take the seriousness and other mood changes away.
It's pointless to rage about the basic concept of these stories, what you can dislike is the execution and the characters personality though, and I mean the actual human impersonating someone.
Gilgamesh had a lot of crossover stories with other lohav fics, he's met a lot of characters from alternate realities, some you could sympathize with, others you can't, since I like good comedy in my stories, I watch out for characters who are half serious half amusing business.
Currently I have 4 lohav/lohah stories, that I'm actively reading, mostly because they also intervene with each other. I take a look at other stories that follow this principle, if I like the character, I read it, if I don't, come back later see if he gets better or eventually drop it.
But I don't write how much the author's story sucks and how "out-of-fashion" his story concept is, neither do I tell them to write something else, that's just plain rude.
If we don't give these authors chances to prove that the story can be good for many, never for all since there always will be unsatisfied and disgruntled readers, it would be unfair of us.
If you get hinged on a concept and want to write on it, then write on it, doesn't matter if trains is already rolling and a lot angry protesting readers get run over.
If you see a story like this and go "Ugh have seen enough of this" then fine, give it a try or go, but do remember that the author of this story who has just written about it, may have only experienced this concept just recently, so it's not old but new for them.
Sadly, many readers tend to go with the hip stick. Meaning if something gets popular and much more like to write about it, it becomes "Mainstream" their personal natural nemesis, so they "urge" authors to write something 'original' and 'new'.
Even though there is so few 'new' stuff to write about in our times, everything is more or less a 'combination' of stories and their aspects, that already exist.
I'm a dc and marvel 'fan', so far that I like 'em but don't extensively buy merchandise, and the concept of most lohav/lohah stories, especially those that connect with each other, reminds me very much of the Justice League or the Avangers.
You can dislike this comment as well, but it doesn't change the fact that you will always find stories like this as long as the concept exists and retains a certain popularity, so either you avoid them, that's what the story's description is for, or you give it a try, read and comment on the stories execution itself, not how boring it is that they chose a concept you're familiar/fed up with.
5404020 Exactly, 100% agreed there
We can't understand why he did what he did to shiny anyway, he said he need to get to Cadance.
5495037
What do you think of a character who's a bit of a goofball, an eccentric wizard, devoted husband, and a loving father who's not afraid to stoop to straight up torturing and murdering those who threaten his family or generally piss him off?
5495148 I'm not really for the murdering part, never find gore as necessary as others. It's enough to say he is overly protective to a point where he beats up possible threats but leave the rest to the authorities.
Like batman for example.
Gilgamesh alos has a codex, in his story, that he absolutely doesn't want to kill and tries to get around it, despite being a very strong warrior that loves fighting and challenges.
Otherwise I'd say it's one of the characters I watch out for.
5495037 That sums it up.
I sort of like these stories, such as Darth Vulcan, but I prefer them to maintain their own personality rather then being assimilated by the character they're playing as.
5496659 seems like a lot more adapt to the fact that they have powers then anything else, which makes them dangerous and makes it easier to overreact to them.
honestly wouldn't mind one or two new story's in this genre that focused more on taking action outside equestrian ... seriously isn't there more cold past the frozen north. (we've got entire dragonland ,griffin empire and all kinds of other sentinent animals to play with)(few people have done so but not a lot do empire building... and I'm not positive but I don't think its any from this genre branch )
seriously I kind of want to see someone write there character strike out somewhere ?... maybe start with the crystal empire and move further north?... sombra in a bottle in the throne room anyone?
Another interesting Displaced has been created. Give me a ring if you're ever up for a crossover. I think Kat and Sasuke could have an interesting time.
I don't read a lot of manga or watch a lot of anime, but I can tell that this is Naruto (it's everywhere) and am, surprisingly interested.
This is what I got from the title.
Bro! finally someone decide to make a Naruto displaced story!( not counting this story, it is good but randomness over nine thousand xD) Gotta stay all night waiting for next chapter... ... ... where did my coffee go?
Meh
Love the first two chapter! cant wait for more :D
P.S.
5401457
Really man? Let people write whatever they want! if you don't like it, then don't read it it is as easy as that! no one force you to read this!
P.S.S. Haters gonna hate, you continue doing what you do best bro and dont take those kind of coments(JoJo madara,True_blue_genius) seriously, just look the likes you have! they speak by them self :D
5765563
Yes, please continue to enable contrived and convoluted writing. Better yet, why don't you tell the author to ignore ALL FORMS OF CRITICISM, valid or not. That'll certainly show those neigh-sayers
God forbid the author try and work on their writing skills.
5767283
Your CRITICISM is straight saying 'your story sucks'.
There are many displaced and people love them, if another person wants to write a story about a displaced, who are we to say it is bad just because they made the history about people getting toss to Equestria in a comic-con? It is a good idea and we are no one to say the contrary.
The author wants people to say if the grammar was bad or the plot. Not the 'I made a story about displaced, is that bad?' nothing more man nothing negative about you but I don't like people just coming and saying 'I hate your story because it is about a displaced *Facepalm*
5495037
Exactly, if people doesn't like it then they must leave their comments to themselves, not just come and said 'I hate your story because it is not the original character'
And people ask why there is no peace in the world *shakes head*
5767652
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/288/562/7e2.jpg
And who are YOU to say that it's a good idea?
Come back when you have a valid and informed response.
5767655
Oh that is just rich. You are a literal salt mine. Hell, you could practically supply every fast food chain with your whining.
5767662
Look down on Kotor511
and
If nobody told you before then I do now 'Everything is a good idea'. That is why you cant say it is a bad idea, if it was because of that then there would only be like 200 stories, because more than all as you put it where 'bad ideas'.
I can say it is a good idea as much as I want because 'Everything is a good idea' but you cant say it is a bad idea because I will ask you this, was the light bulb a bad idea? what do you think people said about that during that time? would you say people love the idea? no, and that is where they where wrong. 'Everything is a good idea'
P.S. Wait man, don't answer, I really don't want to start a fight that is pointless xD you have your believes and I have mine, we wouldn't just accept each other is, so lets just stop, if you dont like it then fine but I told you if they ask for CRITICISM don't come and say that the story is bad because how he decide to made it that is all I ask. He wants help on how to make the story better and not hear that it downright suck because it is not what 'you' wanted it to be.
P.S.S. I really need to sleep, too much LoL... I can see the light! *dies* ... ... *snores* maybe not.
5767681
I certainly can't fault you for your hopeless optimism, but I thankfully do not agree with such a flippant notion. A story's quality can be judged objectively, and I will continue to hold that fact near and dear.
The difference is that while you deject anything that is seen in your eyes as "Negative", I simply look at the value of the story itself. How well it's written, its grammatical errors, the authors ability to weave exposition, its ability to suspend my disbelief long enough for me not to drop it completely.
You can keep your views that "Everything is a good idea", but I, as well as many others, will not agree with them. So don't try and tell me what I can and can't say about a story that drew my interest only to disappoint. If something I see as bad is bad, then I'll say it.
Just as you'll continue to plug your ears and drone out every voice that dares not to praise what you like.
5767694
That is what I say, just asking to not downright hate a story because how it is made. You have your believes and I have mine, lets make a truce and 'let it go' as they put it ... ... ... okay that was a bad pun, that fucking music continue on my head.
P.S. Well I just ask you, if people love displaced stories and want to make a story about it then let them love it and do it! just look the likes some of the stories have! they may be not what you expect but please just give it a chance, if the plot is bad then by all means say it is a bad idea but not just because they decide to make the story about a displaced, that is all I ask bro nothing more nothing less :D
5767707
Fine. You do make a point.
Truce. Thanks for being reasonable about my arrogant little spat.
Excellent first chapter I must admit! To tell ya the truth, I'm planning on doing my own Displaced fic similar to this one! Except it'll be with someone EXTREEEMELY special in my book! Heh heh... Anyway, awesome! Wonder what the deal was with Sasuke and Discord?
Hmm! So Sasuke was once friends with Celestia and Luna huh? I'm looking forward to seeing the plans he has cooked up! You my friend get a like, fav, and follow!
Yay a new chapter finally
Oh yeah, if have to, have to. Otherwise, YOU can be the one to get the hypothermia
Classic tia though, if she can't control the most powerful this or that in Equestria, well the statue garden might NOT be the first choice.
I've always wondered about the Alicorn Amulet, was it her and Luna's dad or brother's soul that she locked up in it? Could also be their mother's
The chapters are too short and few to really get into it. Your writing style is good though.