**********Manehattan**********
As I stepped off of the train with Starlight, something felt wrong. I couldn’t quite put my hoof on it (I had assumed my pony form) but something was definitely not right. Starlight distracted me from my thoughts.
“What are we even doing here?” she asked as we walked through the streets.
“We can’t do what I’m planning alone,” I explained. “We’re going to need help. Teamwork makes the dream work.”
“And what the buck is in heavy bag you have me lugging around?” Starlight was agitated. Her recent chat with an otherworldly Discord, along with what happened with the princesses had left her in a sour mood.
“Just some shovels, some scrolls, and an axe or two,” I replied.
“What,” Starlight asked incredulously. “What do I look like to you? An earth pony? Besides what are you even going to do with that crap?”
“Don’t you mean what are we going to do with that crap?”
“I swear if you’ve got me burying bodies or something, I’ll go straight to the princesses.”
We walked in silence after that. I didn’t want to push her any further and she needed time to cool down. I asked ponies for directions and they were very helpful. Every time I listened in to a conversation nearby, the only subject they discussed was my attack on Canterlot and Ponyville. Once we were about halfway to our destination, I felt it again. That feeling that something was out of place.
“Starlight,” I said, “Do you feel that?”
“Feel what,” she murmured.
“I don’t know,” I said following the sensation. I walked towards the feeling, entranced by it. It led me off course until I didn’t know where I was anymore. But I kept following it until it led me to an earth pony mare standing across the street from me, admiring some of the shop windows.
“Do you know who that is?” I asked Starlight.
“No. Why? Are you in love?” she said sarcastically.
“I don’t think so. I don’t even think that’s a pony,” I said.
“Of course she is,” Starlight argued. “Look at her.”
“Look at me,” I countered. “I’m going to talk to her.”
“Sure, go ahead,” Starlight complained. “Waste time in a city where you’re a wanted criminal. What could possibly go wrong.”
I ignored Starlight and walked over to the strange mare. “Excuse me,” I said getting her attention, “What are you?”
The mare blinked at me a few times. “I’m sorry, what? I don’t quite understand. I’m an earth pony, sir. Certainly that must be obvious… unless you’re blind.” She waved a hoof in front of my eyes, narrowing her own. “You don’t seem blind, though.”
I laughed. “If you’re an earth pony, then so am I.”
“Idiot, you are an earth pony right now,” Starlight reminded me.
“Right,” I said. “Excuse me miss ,” I said to the mare. “Would you mind following me into that dark alley over there so I can show you something?” I gestured to a creepy looking alleyway behind her. Starlight facehoofed.
She quirked an eyebrow at me. “If I wasn’t so sure I can take care of myself, I’d be more worried about a strange colt asking a mare he just met into a dark alley way where no pony can see them.”
“Is that a yes?” I asked hopefully.
“You are very strange stallion,” she wise-cracked before shrugging. “Sure, I’ve got nothin’ better to do today.”
“Great, follow me,” I said as I trotted into the alley. Once I was sure I couldn’t be seen from the street I allowed myself to return to my human form. I activated my sharingan. She didn’t look any different so it wasn’t an illusion. “So who are you, really?”
Her eyes widened considerably at the sight of me. “Oh mon Dieu… Sasuke Uchiha… nom de Dieu,” she breathed.
“In the flesh,” I beamed. “So how long are you going to pretend to be a pony?”
She glared lightly at me. “For your information, I’m not entirely pretending. A part of my physiology is pony, but you are correct in this not being my natural form.” She tapped her jacket and, in a blinding green flash, a woman was standing in front of me. Her long, golden-blonde hair hung on her shoulders and extended down her back. Her sleek black jacket and simple grey t-shirt gave her a darker appearance, while the khakis defined a more light hearted side as well. But the black, short-cropped combat boots absolutely screamed that she was a fighter. Whoever this woman was, with those piercing red eyes, she was not someone to mess around with.
My jaw nearly fell off my face. I could feel her power. It was so much greater than my own. It felt nearly bottomless. I had never felt something so… attractive before in all of my life. The strange thing was I almost felt like I had seen her before.
“Oh Faust, not another one,” Starlight panicked. “What did I do to deserve this?”
I couldn’t pull my gaze away from the woman in front of me. My brain short-circuited and I just blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. “Do you want to have sex, right here, right now?”
The girl gave me another quirked eyebrow, slowly looking me over. I could feel those eyes judging me completely, inside and out. After a moment… “Eh, sure why not.”
….
After a mind-boggling, intense ten minute session. I was able to think clearly. Exceptionally powerful humans don’t show up out of nowhere. I knew nothing about her aside from the fact that she could probably kill me without breaking a sweat. I didn’t know her powers, or her motives. Unacceptable.
“Why are you here,” I asked her.
She gave me a smile, easily adjusting her clothes back into their pristine condition. “I’m here to shop. Manehattan is always the best place to go for everything and anything. Although I probably should visit Carousel Boutique in Ponyville. Rarity’s the only one to ever actually make anything I like.”
It didn’t seem like she was lying but I never trust anything at face value. “Are you a Displaced?” I asked, trying to gauge her reaction.
“I am indeed. And considering you know that very word, then you’re not the actual Sasuke Uchiha… hmm, nah, still no regrets.”
“If I was actually sixteen, I wouldn’t have that much skill. Although becoming a Japanese guy was unexpected,” I pulled myself back to my original train of thought. “I thought we needed tokens to travel between universes. How are you here if I didn’t summon you?”
“The barriers of Displaced universes are much weaker than others. One of our kind with enough power can easily break through and enter the world without the need of an invitation. That is how I got through: I broke in. Simple, easy, and efficient.”
If anyone could break through, that could be a serious problem. Oh well, that’s future Sasuke’s problem. “Well thanks for the sex, it was awesome, but I’ve got a schedule to keep. Starlight!”
Starlight had been sitting on the edge of the alley ‘keeping watch’. “Are you done now,” she asked.
“Yup. Let’s go,” I turned back into a pony and started walking away. “Actually,” I said turning to the mystery woman,”Do you want to come with us? We could use the help.”
“You gonna hurt anyone?” she asked logically.
“Define hurt,” I said. “No one will feel any pain, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“As long as you’re not killing anypony, than I suppose I could help,” she said, transforming back into her pony form. “But one wrong move, then I will interfere and make you hurt.”
I felt a chill run down my spine at her words. “I don’t plan on killing anypony today. Just the opposite in fact.” I started walking into the street.
“Why does nothing you say ever make any sense,” Starlight grumbled.
We walked together through the city chatting pleasantly about nothing in particular. I learned her name was Kat Shifter and she had the ability to control gravity. After a pretty lengthy walk, we arrived at our destination.
“Sunny Skies Cemetery,” Starlight gulped.
“Yep. We’re going to...pay our respects to Starswirl the Bearded,” I explained.
“Wait! Is this what those shovels are for?” Starlight asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Kat, back me up here.”
“How can I when I don’t know why you’d want to dig up Starswirl… wait a second. Why is he buried in Manehattan? That doesn’t make any sense at all.” Kat was rubbing her head in confusion.
“Like many famous people back on Earth, when an important pony dies sometimes their body is buried separately from their monuments. Starswirl was born here. Even though he did most of his work in Canterlot, he wanted to be buried with his family. The tomb in Canterlot is just for show.”
I walked into the cemetery and the two mares followed. “We’ll never find him looking grave by grave. Starlight, go find the groundskeeper.” She nodded and walked away.
“So Kat, what was your Equestria like?”
“Military-based. I was a field general for several wars under Celestia and Luna. Not a fun time in history to have been apart of. Though the first war, the Dragon War, was ended almost a year after I got involved. It was a fun end to,” Kat said with a giggled as she recalled the memory.
“Wow,” I said. “I was military-ish myself. I was never formally given a rank but I did do a lot of fighting and commanding. You actually had to fight a war with the dragons? You must be crazy strong.”
Starlight returned with an elderly pegasus. He was light blue and had a cap. A few white strands of hair poked out from under his hat.
“Can you take us to Starswirl’s resting place?” I asked him.
He didn’t say anything, but nodded and motioned for us to follow him. We walked along the edge of the cemetery, along a gate. The old pegasus stopped and pointed to a grave with a simple SS etched in the stone.
“Thank you,” I said. “One more thing.”
I returned to my human form and put him into a trance using my sharingan. “Here,” I said reaching into Starlight’s bag. “Start digging.” I handed a shovel to each of the mares and started digging.
“I’d rather not,” Kat said with a shake of her head. “I prefer the fun way.”
“Fun way?” Starlight asked. I stopped digging.
“Show me what you got,” I challenged.
Kat smiled, stepping back slightly. Her body went still, but I could sense that strange aura again, only this time rising more and more. A crack in the ground at the grave appeared, spreading out into a rectangular shape. Slowly, the newly formed block of earth rose out of its slot and into the air, being deposited right next to the headstone. Kat let out a breath, looking as if something like that was nothing to her at all.
“I’m impressed,” I said, opening Starswirl’s casket. I pulled out a scroll and smeared some of his decayed flesh on it. Starlight gagged at the sight and looked away. I walked in front of the groundskeeper and put the scroll on the ground. I weaved some hand seals and black marks decorated the ground. Dust and ash encased the groundskeeper’s body as he took on the appearance of a bearded unicorn.
“Starswirl,” I said, “Welcome back to the land of the living.”
Kat blinked a few times. “Merde alors! A reanimation spell! Amazing!”
“Not just any reanimation spell. The best reanimation spell. He can't be destroyed even if you disintegrate him and he’s got unlimited magic,” I boasted.
“Oh great. They finally figured out necromancy,” the unicorn said, clearly annoyed. “Why have you awakened me?”
“I need your help with some projects,” I said. “Who better to help than the greatest wizard of all time?”
“I’ll help on one condition,” Starswirl said.
“Sure,” I said, pretending he had a choice.
“What is the great name history has bestowed upon me?”
“Starswirl the Bearded.”
“What?”
“Starswirl the Bearded,” I repeated.
“So you mean to tell me I contributed more to magic research than any unicorn and history and all I’m remembered for is my facial hair!?!”
“Well, and creating more spells than any other unicorn ever has,” Kat added helpfully.
“Then why not Starswirl the Genius or Starswirl the Great and Powerful?”
“That last one is already taken,” I told him.
Starswirl grumbled inaudibly while Starlight just looked on in shock. She was clearly awed by the presence of her greatest hero and it rendered her speechless.
“Now that we’ve got Starswirl, it’s on to the Griffon Republic,” I cheered. “Anypony here know how to get there?”
“Last time I met griffons, they were an empire,” Starswirl said.
“Kat, any ideas?”
“If you share any memories of the area, I could teleport us there via a wormhole,” the shifter said.
I looked in Kat’s eyes and placed her under my genjutsu. I showed her my memories of the griffon town we were heading to. “Is that enough,” I said releasing her.
“That should be plenty and now for the fun part again.” Kat lifted up a hoof, glowing with red and white energy. Before us, a swirling portal came into existence, showing the town on the other side. “Well, we haven’t got all day! In ya go! Allons-y!”
I grabbed Starlight and jumped through. Starswirl followed behind.
**********Eagle's Peak**********
I was impressed. The town hadn’t changed much in a thousand years. I wouldn’t even have to wear a disguise here.
“Ok team we are looking for a few things here. A griffon named Talon, a griffon named Gilda, and the griffon team the Valkyries.”
Starlight finally shook off her shock and started talking. “Y-y-y-you’re Starswirl the Bearded!”
“Yes. Yes I am,” he brushed her off. “Where are we going to find these griffons?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “Although I think I might know where to find Talon.”
“And where am I supposed to find Rainbow’s flight buddy?” asked Kat.
I thought for a moment. Where would I go if I had just lost an old friend in the most humiliating way possible? Especially if I had too much pride and anger control issues.
“If I had to guess,” I said scratching my chin, “I would say she’s in a bar somewhere drowning her sorrows.”
Kat sighed. “Of course. It’s always the bar, always the putain de bar. Whelp, if you hear screaming and things crashing, you’ll know something went wrong,” she said ever-so-happily as she walked into town.
I smiled at the the thought of a bar fight. It’d been too long since I’d been home. I turned to face Starlight and Starswirl. That was going to get confusing. “Starswirl, I want you to find the Valkyries,” I instructed. “Look for a symbol that appears to be two elongated wings facing each other.”
“What do you want me to do when I find them,” he asked.
“Just show them your eyes and say these exact words. ‘It is time for the servants of the demon to return to active service’. They should understand the message.”
Starlight eyed me suspiciously. “I’m not actually a demon,” I reassured her. “It was part of the theatrics I used during the war with the griffons.”
“Whatever you say,” she mumbled. Starswirl trotted away with his mission. “So, I guess that leaves us to find this Talon,” she said.
I nodded. “He’ll be somewhere in this town under a different name.”
“Then how are we supposed to find him?” Starlight asked.
“Because I can sense him,” I said. “And he’ll be the richest griffon in the country.”
I opened up my senses to the area and found several sources of my chakra. The first was Starswirl. I could feel him searching. The second was the Valkyrie mansion. I probably should have told Starswirl he was walking in the wrong direction. The last had to be Talon.
“C’mon, Starlight,” I said as I picked her up. “We’re going to teleport.”
I teleported us into a dark, empty office. I put Starlight down and looked around. The room held several treasures from around this world. I could identify a few of them, my kunai being one them. Others were a complete mystery.
“He’s been busy,” I muttered under my breath. Outside of the office, I heard someone scrambling to unlock the door.
“You have no idea who you’re bucking with thief!” A deep masculine voice yelled. “No griffon, pony, or even dragon, steals from me!”
A griffon with a white head and black body forced his way through the door holding a sword. “You won’t leave here….”
Upon seeing me, the griffon went pale and dropped the sword. “Mephistopheles,” he whispered. “I thought you were dead.”
I smiled at him, “Of course not Talon. I just took a long nap. You look good though. How’s the immortality treating you?”
He blinked his pure black eyes and walked to his desk. “It’s been great,” he said nervously. “I did what you asked. I haven’t broken our deal.”
“Straight to business? Ok then, where is it?”
“500 miles from here. Completely hidden and not on any maps.”
“Good. How much?”
“Four billion. Ready to be converted to gold and moved.”
“Very good.”
“What are you two talking about,” Starlight asked, her confusion showing on her face.
“Don’t worry about it,” I told her. “You’ll find out soon enough.” I turned my attention back to Talon. “You’ve done very well, Talon. You may keep your immortality.”
Talon visually relaxed after hearing that. “Oh thank you, Mephisto. I thought you were here to kill me. It’s Lew now, by the way.”
“Of course not, child of Faust. You’re still so useful.” Lew reached in his desk and pulled out a golden compass.
“This points to its location,” he said. “It’s been enchanted for one use only so it can’t be used against you.”
I took the compass and picked Starlight up again. “I’ll be in touch,” I said as I teleported away.
We appeared in front of a surprised Starswirl who still hadn’t found the Valkyries. “Warn an old stallion before you do that,” he said clutching his chest. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
I shrugged, “It wouldn’t have killed you. I finished up my business so now we need-”
A loud crash interrupted me. An earthquake shook us to the ground and I saw a large cloud of smoke in the distance. Minutes later, a pride of screaming griffons flew past us. They were in hysterics about an earth pony with magic powers kidnapping someone.
“She wasn’t kidding was she,” Starlight said as we walked toward the chaos.
“Nope,” I replied.
It didn’t take long. As we got closer I saw Kat sitting off to the side examining a hoof. Gilda was nearby, seemingly trapped by nothing, in a crater.
“What happened here,” I asked Kat.
Kat sighed angrily. “Same thing that happens every time I go to a bar: something happens to get it destroyed. Don’t ask how that happened on Earth, just believe me when I say it did.” She looked at Gilda. “Safe to say… I don’t like bars. And they feel the same.”
Despite Kat’s clear annoyance at the situation, I couldn’t help but find the whole thing slightly amusing. I walked over to Gilda. “You can let her go now,” I said. Kat nodded and did… something. I really wish I could see gravity. Gilda sat up and brushed herself off.
“What the buck was that all about?” she spat at me. “Are you this crazy mare’s boss?”
“Yes?” I said looking at Kat. She glared at me and it felt as if she was staring into my very soul. “No, we’re just… associates.”
“Well?” Gilda said, her voice full of contempt. “What do you want?”
“You,” I said.
“What?”
“I want you to join me.”
“And why would I want to join up with some monkey dweeb and his band of travelling freaks?”
I grinned. “Because I can give you something no one else can.”
“Just get to the point. I don’t have all day,” she said.
“I can make you faster than Rainbow Dash. AND I can help you win her back.”
For a brief second, an unreadable expression crossed Gilda’s face. “I’m already faster than that dweeb traitor,” she said. “And I don’t need her back.”
I thought for a minute and then came up with a new angle. “You’re not faster than her,” I said. Gilda tried to protest but I kept speaking. “Her sonic rainboom outclasses anything you can do. But I can help you. Make you stronger, faster. I can make make you so fast that a sonic rainboom looks like slow motion.” I could tell Gilda was giving this some thought. Time to drive it home. “And then you can show her. Show that traitorous pony how much better you are than her. How wrong she was about you. How she needs you more than you ever needed her.”
Gilda was hesitant, but she wanted to believe what I was saying. “Can you really make me that fast?”
“Did you hear about what happened to Princess Celestia in Ponyville?” I asked her.
“Of course,” she said. “That was front page news.”
“That was me.”
“YOU! You-”
“That’s right. And I was only at half strength. Imagine what I could do now. And what I could do for you.”
Gilda stuck out a claw. “If you can really make me faster, you’ve got a deal.”
I took her claw in my hand and shook it. “Welcome aboard, Gilda.”
I could feel Kat’s gaze on me, but she never said a word. Only observing everything with a scrutinizing eye. It was very unnerving. What was she trying to get from me?
“We still need to find these ‘Valkyries’,” Starlight reminded me.
“Right,” I said.
“You want those losers?” Gilda asked. “They live on the edge of town. I can take you there.”
“Lead the way,” I said.
Gilda leapt into the air and looked down at us. “I guess you guys can’t fly, huh?”
“Guess again,” I said, taking Starlight and Starswirl under my arms. Earth Style: Lightweight Boulder Jutsu. I reduced our collective gravity, allowing us to fly.
“How are you doing this without wings,” Starswirl asked me. “Have flight spells advanced to the point where all ponies may fly as a pegasus?”
“Not pony spells,” I told him. Gilda started flying to our destination and I followed. Remembering Kat, I looked back. I shouldn’t have been surprised to see her right next to me. We were probably using a similar if not the same technique. We flew in an uncomfortable silence. I was tempted to talk to Kat but ever since I mentioned Celestia, she seemed pretty upset. I did not want to look into her soul crushing gaze again.
Eventually, we came to a mansion with the wings I described to Starswirl on the front gate. We all landed at the gate. I considered just going straight to the house but decided that would be rude. At the gate there was a single bell. Bell isn’t quite right, it was more like a gong. I banged on it producing a horrible screaming note.
“What the hay kind of doorbell ist that?” Starlight asked with her hooves over her ears.
“I told you these guys were losers,” Gilda said. “What do you want with them anyway?”
“They owe me,” I responded. The doors of the mansion opened up and a lone griffon flew out and came to the gate.
“State your business,” she commanded.
I flashed my sharingan. “It is time for the servants of the demon to return to active service.”
The griffon’s eyes went wide and she quickly opened the gate. “Please come in,” she led us into the grounds. The hen moved quickly and ushered us into the mansion. While the outside was nothing special, the inside was breathtaking. The architecture of the building was amazing. All around the foyer were sculptures of the original Valkyries made out of black granite. The entire place was decorated like a castle.
“Please wait while I alert the mistress to your presence,” said the griffon, who I now assumed to be a maid.
“Losers, huh?” I teased Gilda. She huffed at me and then looked away.
“This place is incredible,” Starlight said looking around.
“Indeed,” Starswirl agreed.
I gathered the courage to look at Kat again. She was still staring into my soul but less harshly this time. It still seemed like she was silently judging me. I needed to at least pretend she wasn’t getting to me. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or you just going to keep pouting, “ I asked.
“For one, I’m not pouting,” Kat told me in very calm voice. “Simply watching and waiting. I’m not easily impressed, sweetie.” Is it just me or did that sound very creepy?
Shaking off the feeling of dread my new friend? just gave me, I went back to admiring the mansion. The griffon maid returned with another griffon in tow. The new griffon had a white head with red tips, and a golden body. When she saw me she froze in her tracks. After recovering from her initial shock she walked up to me and began looking me all over. After circling me a few times, she came to a stop in front of me.
“It really is you,” she said. “I thought you were just a myth.”
“I’m as real as you are,” I said getting back into my normal banter.
“Then you really have come for the Valkyries.”
“Yes, I have. Are you the current leader?”
She laughed. “No, I am not. I am Griselda, I am the previous leader and mentor to the current leader.”
I was surprised. “If you’re not the current leader, then why did you come to greet us?”
“My apologies, Mephisto. She is currently in the middle of a training session,” Griselda bowed her head.
“Really,” I said. “Let’s go watch then. I want a sneak preview of her skills.”
“As you wish.” Griselda led us through the mansion and into a courtyard. There were ten griffons in all. All of them were in the middle of some sort of combat training. They all looked very impressive but they would still need new training.
“Which one is she?” I asked Griselda.
“Over there,” Griselda pointed to a griffon that looked like a younger version of herself. The little Griselda was taking on two other griffons in a sword fight. It didn’t matter how well the two worked together, they couldn’t land a hit on her. She was incredible to watch. After she finished her match she noticed us.
“Valkyries! Enough for today,” she yelled as she walked over to us. “Griselda who are they?”
“This, Aoife, is Lord Mephistopheles and his group. He is here to fulfill the contract,” Griselda explained.
Aoife kneeled in front of me. “Sir, it is an honor to be the leader of the chosen generation. I swear to you that these Valkyries will withstand any battle or test of loyalty. We live to serve.”
“That’s great and all,” I said, “But I left something here with your ancestors and I need it back now.”
“Do you mean that gourd that’s full of sand?” Aoife asked.
“That’s it. Could you get that for me? And get your team ready to go?”
“Right away.” Griselda left to get the gourd and Aoife went to talk to her teammates. After a quick discussion they quickly flew to different parts of the mansion. Aoife walked back over to us.
“They went to retrieve their things. I’m going to go get mine as well. We will wait for you in front of the mansion.” Aoife flew away leaving me with my original group.
“Why did you leave their ancestors with a bucket of sand,” Starlight asked.
“Not just any sand,” I said. “Sand infused with an insane amount of chakra. I can control like its another limb. Plus it jumps to my defense without me having to do anything.”
“That’s an incredible spell,” Starswirl said. “You have to share the secrets of your magic with me.”
“I will. But first we have to get to our base.”
“Is that what you were talking about with Lew,” Starlight asked. “A secret base?.”
“Exactly,” I answered. “Kat, can you open wormholes to places connected to magical artifacts?”
“I’d need a specific energy to lock on to. If I don’t have anything to go on, that’d be like diving into Loch Ness with only a nose plug.”
I pulled out the compass. “Will this work?”
Kat reached out and touched the compass with her hoof. “It’s a weak energy, but I think I have enough.” Once again, she bent the realms of time and space, creating a wormhole. “Does that look right?”
I poked my head through the wormhole. “Yup. That’s it,” I said as I dropped a special kunai on the other side. “Let’s get everyone before we leave.” Kat closed the wormhole and we walked back into the mansion.
Griselda and the maid were lugging the gourd through the hall. “I never realised how heavy this thing was,” Griselda huffed. “We never moved it before now.”
“It’s alright,” I said. “I’ve got it now.” I placed my hand on the gourd and sent to my storage space.
“Wait a second,” Starlight said, “If you can do that for anything, why did I have to carry those shovels?”
I smiled sheepishly. “I forgot?”
She rolled her eyes and walked away. “Thank you,” I said to Griselda.
“The honor is all mine,” she replied with a bow. We started walking to the front door. “Please, I know I have no right to ask this of you but please take care of my daughter.”
I nodded and walk to the mansion’s front yard. All of the Valkyries were lined up and waiting. They saluted as I walked past them. “Everyone grab the body next to you,” I ordered. There was some awkwardness as the group of misfit species tried to hold hooves and claws. “Alright everyone, hold on tight.” I teleported us to our new base.
We stood on a platform so high up that there looked like there was no ground beneath us, just clouds. Up above us was a glorious castle carved into a mountain. I looked around and saw only stunned faces. Except Kat. Has she really seen everything?
“Welcome,” I bellowed, “To Laputa, the castle in the sky! Feel free to take any bedroom except for the one with the black sun on the door.”
The ponies and griffons all ran excitedly into the castle leaving Kat and me alone. “Ok, what?” I asked her. “Why have you been giving me the stinkeye all day?”
“Just simple judging, sweetie,” Kat said in that sugar-sweet voice, idly looking over some of the knick knacks nearby. “I made a few assumptions about you when we met… been trying to determine which ones were true.”
“No more crap,” I said fighting the chill of her words,”let’s settle this right here, right now. What are judging about me?”
“You know, I’ve been on this Equestria for about a month now,” she said, seemingly ignoring my question and my tone. “You hear a lot of things in Manehattan. It’s quite the gossip city, you know. Heard some terrible news about Ponyville. And now… now I know why. So, sweetie, why don’t you tell me something.” She cantered right up to me, face free of any emotion. “What do you plan to do?”
“I have lots of plans,” I said trying not to sound nervous. “You’re going to have to be more specific.” I stood my ground hoping I was giving the appearance of confidence.
“The princesses and, especially, the elements of harmony. The main six as some would call. I want to know what you plan to do with them.”
“Oh that?” I was suddenly my regular self again. “Nothing. Except for Cadence. I’m going to teach her like I taught Celestia and Luna. And borrow her alicorn privileges. Other than that, they aren’t even a blip on my radar.”
“And should Celestia and Luna try to stop you, or Dieu forbid, Shining Armor get in your way, what then?” She was still so calm and collected. No sighs of relief, no brushing away of any sweat. She was a perfect wall.
“I will subvert, I will misdirect, I will do what I have always done. And if that fails, I will fight.” I looked her straight in her eyes, her calm demeanor made me calm down. “I don’t know how your Equestria works, but here, it is nearly impossible to kill an alicorn. I know, I’ve tried. They can regenerate from being disintegrated. I can’t handle Equestrian magic so I can’t absorb their powers to make them mortal. If that’s all you’re worried about, you’ve wasted your time.”
“Then you misunderstand my intentions, Uchiha,” Kat said calmly still, walking around me yet her eyes never wander off. “I needed to confirm you were not as driven as your original. The real Sasuke Uchiha, as you know, was driven practically mad by his desire for revenge. I had to make sure you wouldn’t follow in his foot steps… or my own.”
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: revenge is a fool’s…. wait, what did you do?”
“I did what you did,” she answered coolly. “I beat my Celestia into a pulp, only our world’s alicorns are much more like the ponies they care for than mere forms of magic or self-reparative goddesses. I even shattered her horn afterwards.”
“That’s... just so wrong,” I shuddered. “Yeah, I’m not their biggest fan right now but I would never do anything they couldn’t handle. We were… we are family.”
“So were we at one point, and then they murdered my only friend right in front of me.” If she could still be calm now, than I really should take some lessons from her. “I was driven mad by that single act, almost completely reversed the planet’s gravitational field. Do you know what happens to a planet after that?”
“I’m pretty sure everything dies. You ever think you should see someone about that anger? Although I can see how losing everything might drive one to massacre family members.”
“Oh, I was angry alright, angry enough to want revenge on my betrayers. And I succeeded. I beat both Luna and Celestia into the ground… but I didn’t feel any better. No, I felt worse. And my actions nearly led the world, not to destruction, but to enslavement. Twice I nearly doomed the place I called home due to my own anger. And because of my heated desires for revenge… I am here before you now… with no place to call home. I was exiled from my world, never to return.”
“That is an incredibly sad story. If it makes you feel any better, I only had the regular sharingan when I first came here. I had to get the mangekyou the natural way. If you can traverse the multiverse, why not go home? To Earth, I mean.”
“What for?” her voice was hollow now. “There is nothing there for me. And not because of lost time… there was never anything for me before I was Displaced.”
I was really making an ass of myself. Everything I said to this girl forced her to relive painful memories and it was clear she’d always had a rough life. “Well,” I said desperately trying to think of something, “Do you want to stay here? I’ve got a castle and… not much else at the moment. But I’m working on that!”
“That’s very sweet of you… but I cannot. My purpose isn’t just here,” she looked out the window, into the night sky. “It’s out there. Helping others of our kind and anyone else I can. Helping others and making them happy is what I live for. It’s all I live for; the very reason I exist.”
“You are the most interesting, drifting hobo I’ve ever known. If there’s trouble,” I pulled out a jade necklace with six magatama. “You know who to call.”
Kat took the necklace from my hand and replaced it with a black diamond. “That is my own. It’ll connect you right to my cell and I’ll be there in a snap.”
“YOU HAVE A WORKING CELLPHONE!?!” I pulled out my own. “HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORK?” It hadn’t had power in over a thousand years but thanks to a spell it hadn’t deteriorated at all.
She smiled pulling out her own, showing it to be an old, sleek flip phone. “Wish I could tell ya. I bought mine off a traveling Void salesman. Maybe he’ll show up someday and trick out your phone. It’s been wondrous for me; so much easier to keep up with the babysitter.”
“Babysitter?” I gulped. “But we just… today.. and.. I’m soo not ready for this,” I buried my face in my hands. “About this void salesman… He wouldn’t happen to have morning after pills, would he?”
Kat looked at me very oddly. “Sweetie, if I had been talkin’ ‘bout you, I would have come right out and said it. I am fourteen hundred years old and in the prime of my life, you don’t think I couldn’t already have a child or three?”
“Three kids? Don’t take this the wrong way but I’m totally revoking my offer to let you stay here.”
“I’ve had three kids. I only have my precious Kuna with me now… let’s not go into what happened to my other babies. And besides, you don’t need a morning after pill with me, sweetie.” She rubbed her stomach a little. “Ain’t nothin’ in there to get pregnant. No womb, no ovaries, no worries.”
“I’m not sure if I’m relieved or saddened by this news. I’m going to go with relieved ‘cause it feels better. I’ve got to go lay down the law in my new castle. Are we good now?”
She smiled at me and I could feel my heart leap at that true smile. “We’re more than good.” Kat hugged me right then and there. “We’re friends. And it’s always great to have friends.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, yeah, because friendship is magic, I know. I’ll see you later, Kat.”
“It’s not just magic, Sasuke. It’s what keeps us together.” She kissed my forehead, before backflipping into a portal. “See ya around, Uchiha. Don’t go killing anyone!”
I waited until I was sure she was gone before I smiled and whispered, “No promises.”