The Awakening of a Tactician

by Mountainmanmad


Chapter 26 - Melancholy

Several weeks had passed since the incident with the Poison Joke. I blatantly refused to leave my property during that time, still embarrassed over what had happened. The desire only increased when Trixie showed me the local paper, a picture of my younger self riding Trixie on the front cover, and an article about what had happened. I couldn't believe the amount of poor luck I had that day, and the fact that a Canterlot news reporter was in town was the icing on the cake. The cherry would be Rainbow Dash, a mare who didn't know when to keep her trap shut during an interview.

Shortly after I got a letter from Twilight, apologizing for her friend's actions. It was a nice sentiment, but it hardly changed my view of the rainbow mare. I swear, if I don't end up clipping her wings then some other hot head is going to.

Despite all the animosity I still had towards anything that breathed I needed to head into town to purchase some supplies. As much as I loved to forage within the Everfree, I still needed spices and other ingredients to better the taste of my cooking. Mushroom stew can only be appreciated so much, and Trixie had been giving me death glares ever since I suggested adding meat for flavor. It's not like it'll kill her, and herbivores tend to eat meat anyway once in a while... sometimes... when they're starving.

To be fair, I was tired of eating manticore as of late anyway. It was also becoming difficult to hunt as of late since most animals, predator and prey, have been avoiding me like the plague. With all of that to consider, I had to concede and accept the fact that I needed to head into town. I left Trixie with a list of chores for her to do in the meantime, much to her displeasure.

So with money in my pockets and my weapons secured I made my way towards the town of Ponyville, wondering what madness would be focal point today.


"I was being sarcastic, God dammit!"

I ran towards the town, watching the large, purple dragon destroy everything within sight. How I managed to walk into town the day a dragon attacked I'll never know. Ponies were running around screaming, many of them running for the outskirts of the town. Buildings were on fire or destroyed, and there was a thin layer of smoke clouding the sky.

It was during my mad dash to the center of the town when I stumbled upon Twilight, looking up at the dragon with sad eyes. I frowned and made my way towards her, gaining her attention with a shout, "Twilight!"

The purple mare turned her head towards me, and I noticed her eyes widening in surprise. "R-Robin? What are you doing here?" she asked fearfully.

"Well, I needed to do some shopping today and I noticed the some-odd several hundred foot dragon rampaging around. Why are you just standing there doing nothing? Come, help me detain it," I commanded, making my way towards the overgrown reptile. I was halted when Twilight teleported in front of me, blocking my path. "W-Wait, you don't understand, that's not just some random dragon, it's Spike!"

I frowned and took another look at the towering creature. Immediately I saw the resemblance in color when comparing it to the adolescent dragon. I heard screaming coming from his direction and I noticed the white unicorn he held in his grasp. My gaze deadened when I realized it was Rarity flailing about in the air, cursing her pretty little head off.

Ah, now I remember, this is an episode. Maybe I can just go home and pretend this never happened.

"I can take care of Spike, but the rest of the town is in chaos. Could you help any you find and direct them towards the edge of town?" Twilight begged.

So much for that idea.

"Very well. Try to prevent as much destruction as possible, and don't be afraid to use a little force. Dragons are sturdy creatures, and I can assure you, ponies are not."

"I-I understand," she said, unnerved I had even suggested using force against Spike. I didn't have time to stay and console her when I heard a cry for help from a nearby burning building. With a sigh of annoyance I ran into the inferno, making sure to connect myself to Arcfire before so.

The flames around me tickled at my skin, but it was more of an annoyance than anything. The magic of the tome protected me from the intense heat while I directed the spread of it with my magic. I found the source of the cry on the second floor. I coughed as I inhaled some smoke, the tome unable to protect me from the chemical effects of fire. I crouched low as I moved swiftly, making my way towards a burning door. I held my breath and stood up, kicking the door down with my boot. I found the mare in question coughing as she lay upon the floor, her hoof twisted in an unnatural angle. She had pink fur and a lily stuck in her mane, leading me to believe she was some kind of flower vendor. The mare took one look at me and began to shake, her eyes shrinking in fear. I prepared myself for the screaming that would surely follow, but instead, I got something that threw me for a loop.

"Please... help me."

I blinked at the mare in surprise. It was clear she was deathly afraid of me, but underneath all that fear was something else; hope. The sound of the roof creaking in protest brought me out from surprise. I ran over to the mare and easily lifted her into my arms, sprinting for the exit. Just as I crossed over the threshold, the house let out a groan and collapsed upon itself. I grimaced as I took in the burning remains of the home before I set the mare upon the ground.

The pink mare was coughing violently, and her eyes were red due to irritation from the smoke. Other than a few minor burns, an annoying cough, and a sprained ankle she was fine. She would live another day. I looked up from the mare and noticed Spike in the distance, climbing up a mountain. Around me was an inferno of destruction. More than half the town seemed to be destroyed in some sense either from the trampling of Spike or from the fire he created.

I was about to go searching for more survivors when a voice made me pause.

"Thank you."

I looked back down at the mare to see her looking up at me, a small smile on her face. I didn't know how to respond, so I simply nodded and made my way throughout the town. She would be fine in the middle of the street and Spike had left the vicinity. There were others who were in greater danger than her. I spent the next hour aiding the ponies of the village, rescuing individuals from the fire or redirecting the inferno with my magic to ensure it didn't spread throughout the village. By then Spike had been taken care of, and most of the fires were being put out. Residents of the town began to trickle in, sadness in the eyes of those who lost their home to the flames.

Miraculously there had been no deaths, although many of the residents would need to be treated for minor scarring of the lungs. Doctors and nurses were racing around the town square, trying to administer any sort of aid they could offer. None of the residents paid me any attention at that point, and I had begun to make my way home. However, once more I was halted by a cry for help.

"Please, my son needs a doctor!"

I turned towards the voice to find a cream colored mare standing over a young colt. The boy was brown furred, and didn't even have a cutie mark yet.

He was barely moving.

I watched from a distance as a number of doctors ran towards the pair. The one in charge placed a hoof against the child's chest. his face scrunched up in concentration as his horn glowed, his eyes shining softly. His face immediately grew pale, and he quickly addressed the nurses around him.

"Quickly, we need to get him to the respiratory system in the hospital! His insides are all black, he's inhaled too much smoke!"

"We can't, most of the equipment was destroyed by the fire! Can you fix it with a healing spell!?"

"I don't have enough power to fix this much damage! He needs immediate medical attention!"

"Oh Celestia, no. Please, somepony save my child!"

I felt my heart skip a beat at those words, the words of a pleading mother. I grit my teeth in pain as a sudden memory came flooding to the front of my mind.

"Are you still reading that book? Come on, it's a beautiful day outside!"

"But Mom, I'm just getting to the good part!"

"No buts! You can study for school later, lets go have some fun outside."

"Fine, I'll be right there..."

I was torn from the memory as the sound of crying reached my ears. The mare was hugging her foal tightly while most of the nurses had run off to the hospital to get more supplies. The head doctor remained by the colt's side, his horn glowing and his face strained.

"Please... don't die!"

My eyes hardened and I began to make my way towards the kid. I faintly remembered looking at the black book of Nosferatu before I reached their side. The doctor was looking up at me in surprise while the mother watched me fearfully.

"Move back, I can save him," I commanded. The doctor gave me a look before following my order, stepping aside. The mother looked up at me with hope, and she let go of her son, giving me room to work. I knelt before the child and closed my eyes, placing my hands upon his body. The moment I made contact I could sense what all the fuss was about. The colt was almost dead, many of his internal organs had already shut down from the stress on his body. His heart was barely working.

Black mist flowed from my fingers and surrounded the child. I heard a few gasps around me, but I tuned them out. I steadily began feeding my energy into the body, sensing the changes that were occurring. It was slow work, and I could feel my own energy being slowly depleted. The trickle I was sending into the colt though wasn't enough. It was keeping him alive, but his organs weren't recovering fast enough. I must have frowned, because I heard the mother whimpering once more.

No... I'm the greatest mage that ever lived. My powers over the elements were second to none, and I had mastered the art of life and death. This trial was nothing compared to what I had achieved in the past. Despite the risks, I opened the flood gates and allowed my life energy to pour into the child. The tide of energy did the trick, and his body began to repair itself at a rapid pace. The lungs were healed, the scars in his throat vanished, and his heart returned to a healthy pulse. I stopped the flow of magic and opened my eyes, staring down at the kid.

The colt's eyes snapped open and he took in a gulp of air, the needed oxygen rushing into his new lungs. The mother drew her son into an embrace, crying into the colt's mane. It took her a few seconds to gather herself, but when she did she was smiling warmly at me. "Y-You saved him... you saved my son. Thank you, thank you so much."

I couldn't reply. I could see darkness beginning to cloud the edge of my vision. Did I really use that much energy on one child? I opened my mouth to reply, but all I managed was a faint gurgling sound. Next thing I knew I was face down in the middle of the street, my consciousnesses fading. I only had enough time to wonder what horrors my mind would conceive before everything faded to black.


(Roughly 1505 years ago)

I shivered as I pulled my cloak tighter around me, the fire I had started doing little to warm my body this night. I looked out from my makeshift shelter, the forest pitch black. I couldn't be certain, but I think the darkness was closing in around me.

The shelter I currently found myself hiding in was horribly simple. It was built into the side of a hill I had found, and consisted of two walls and a roof. The forest and everything it held was open to me and my gaze. I didn't want to box myself in, I worried that if I did, I wouldn't find my way out...

This damned forest... how long had it been? I glanced at the flimsy wooden wall I had constructed. There were numerous lines etched into the surface, far too many then I would've liked. It's been little over three months, three months since I've arrived in this hellish world.

A world run by ponies.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the castle in the forest. How I missed it before, or avoided the patrols, or even the dirt paths, I'll never know. There were ponies with spears, swords and a wide range of weapons that they shouldn't have been able to use. I even saw pegasi and unicorns. I witnessed magic beyond what I could use. I saw creatures that could fly despite a wingspan that shouldn't have supported the action. Flying, unicorns, pegasi, ponies, castles, fucking magic!

It didn't take me long to put the pieces together. I was in the world of that fucking cartoon show! My Little go fuck yourself!

I scowled and brought my fingers up to my line of sight. I tugged at the foreign feeling within me, watching as green wisps of air swirled around my digits. I didn't want this, I never asked for this to happen to me. I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind.

It's unbearable, I can't stand it any longer!

I clenched my hand into a fist and threw the magic I had gathered out into the darkness. I heard bushes decimate under the sharp winds and the creaking of trees as the bark was stripped. It's incredible really, to hold so much power, but with no desire to have it. If only I could trade it all away in order to return home...

I glanced back towards the recesses of my shelter. My eyes fell upon a small dagger, something I had picked up today while I was stalking around the castle. One of the ponies probably dropped it. I eyed the sharp blade carefully, my mind wandering to unsavory places. How badly was I willing to escape this hellish nightmare? Desperate enough to commit the unthinkable? What would my family think?

My family...

My eyes hardened and I reached my hand out towards the dagger. The blade flew into my grasp, handle first. My lips twitched in amusement for a moment before falling firm once more. I held the sharp blade in front of me, the metal glowing in the orange light of the flame. I ran my thumb against the dagger, watching the metal bite into my skin. Red blood flowed freely as it ran down my digit, and the heavy liquid shimmered in the fiery light.

It would be so easy.

I gritted my teeth and placed the blade against my neck, the tip brushing against the Jugular. My heart was practically pounding in my chest as I prepared myself. Just a cut, one small incision and the nightmare would end forever.

The sound of clucking brought me out of my thoughts, and I eyed the black forest warily. Instincts kicked in and I jumped to my feet, the dagger now held in front of me at an angle, ready for an attack. I saw the abomination enter within the range of the fire's light. I tilted my head, careful not to look at its eyes.

The cockatrice slithered closer, most likely eyeing me in confusion and hunger. Hunger... I haven't eaten in days now. I can still remember my mother's cooking, too.

... I'm done. I'm sick of it all.

I dropped the knife and turned towards the chicken, staring down at it in rage. It returned my look with one of surprise, before it too, turned to one of anger. I felt a sensation envelop me, a film of sorts, and I knew I was about to be turned to stone. The only way to stop it now was to kill the beast.

Before the process began I screamed, and tackled the damned thing, wrapping both hands around its neck. I watched as its hard gaze turned to one of fear, almost as if a switch was flipped. It now knew, it knew I wasn't some wayward creature. I wasn't some dumb animal, and I'm sure it could see the intelligence hidden behind my crazed eyes. What was it with this world, these intelligent creatures?

I slammed its head into the ground, and it coughed up blood in response. I smiled wickedly, enjoying myself. A purple haze consumed my vision as my body began to move on its own. Over and over again I slammed the back of the creature's head against the hard earth. All of the rage and grief I felt came pouring out into my attacks, and they showed.

With a final scream of rage I slammed the abomination into the ground, watching as the earth itself cracked under the pressure of my attack. The creature had been dead after the second hit, but I hadn't noticed during my bout of madness.

I released my grip around the creature's neck, and I was happy to see that I had, in the addition of caving its skull in, constricted it's throat. I brought my hands up to my face, the appendages tinged red with blood as they shook from the rush of adrenaline.

I had been slowly going insane in this forest, and I had kept it all inside me. For the past three months it had festered within my soul, crippling me and my identity.

It was time to release it.

I don't know how long I spent screaming, howling like a monster at the night sky. Maybe it was minutes, perhaps it was hours. Time was meaningless to me. I wept openly, tears falling down my face as I was forced to understand my situation.

I screamed like a banshee, letting the denizens of the forest know of my presence.

And it was then, that they knew, I was here to stay.


(Present Day)

A steady hum drew me out of my nightmare. No... not a hum, there was a pattern to it. It was unnatural, yet calming at the same time.

The beeping of a heart monitor.

A heart monitor... an interesting device for ponies to use. I never understood how their technology fluctuated in such a way, but it made sense when you thought about it. Where technology fell short, magic filled in most of the gaps.

A heart monitor... I'm in a hospital, aren't I? Well... first time for everything, I suppose. How did I get here again?

Ah, of course... the child. I must have used too much energy while healing him. I'm not sure how, I didn't perform the transfer any different then the other times I've used it. Was it because of the type of wound? Perhaps, I've healed broken bones before, but rebuilding new internal organs might require a bit more energy. Yes... that makes sense, I'll go with that for now.

Wait, I can hear something else, hoofsteps. There was another individual in the room with me. Perhaps it was the one who brought me here? Doubtful, ponies don't like to be around me. It's most likely a nurse who's duty bound to stay by my side for some ridiculous reason or another. I hope they didn't give me any anesthetics or painkillers. They wouldn't work given the reason for my weakness, and it'd be a shame to waste them on me anyway.

I should probably open my eyes now. The life energy within me already feels stable, so I've most likely been here for a few hours. All I need to do is get up, walk out the door, ignore the ponies, and return home to rest and recuperate.

I slowly opened my eyes, taking in the drab room I was placed in. Sunlight was streaming in from a window I couldn't see, brightening the colors of the room. White, white, and more white. Oh look, even more white to compliment the white of the room. Strange, it seemed to be moving... and was that a rainbow on its head?

... oh...

I blinked and the haze that had restricted my vision vanished in an instant. Everything became clear, including the white Alicorn that was standing at the foot of my bed, looking down at me. I should probably be worried about my situation. I'm in a weakened state, on my back, and for some reason I can't feel my legs.

Really? Now my legs decide to abandon me? I shouldn't be this weak, this shouldn't be happening to me. Could've, should've, would've, I need to get over myself. Arguing with myself won't get me anywhere. Well, it has in the past, but more often then not it led me to ideas and situations which I'm not comfortable remembering.

Celestia is still staring at me. She doesn't seem to be angry with me at the moment, so that's good. In fact, I honestly can't tell what's going on in that head of hers. Even the air between us seems defeated. I can't bother to summon up any anger, any sadness... I just feel... nothing. Maybe I'm getting old? Is that even possible with the body I have? I suppose so. Maybe I'm growing senile. The human brain, if I remember correctly, can only function properly up to the age of 130 or something, so that definitely includes me, considering everything I've subjected myself to. Maybe I should just give up while I'm ahead?

I guess, technically speaking of course, I'm worth more dead than alive.

What a charming thought.

Oh wait, Celestia is speaking to me. Wow, I must really be out of it. I didn't hear a word she said.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I ask her softly.

She blinked in surprise. "I asked you how you're feeling?"

I found myself speechless. Did she just ask me how I'm doing? That's new, but not totally improper. I guess it would be proper to ask another how they're doing if they're hospitalized. Did that really include me though? How should I respond?

"I can't feel my legs, my brain is running at high speeds, and I think I'm growing mawkish." I reply bluntly. Mawkish, that's an interesting word. Does that even apply to me at the moment? I believe mawkish is in reference to feeling nostalgic. Perhaps I find life nostalgic?

...

That's the stupidest thing I've ever said to myself. It got Celestia to smile though. I don't think I've ever managed to do that. Oh, wait, she's talking again, better pay attention.

"... I don't understand you, Robin."

I blinked slowly, considering the statement. Sometimes I don't even understand myself, so how should I answer her? I suppose truthfully, I have nothing else to lose given the circumstances.

"Not many do, I tend to keep to myself," I responded.

"So I've noticed, however, that's changed as of late, hasn't it?"

"I suppose it has. Funny how I've broken out of the mold so easily."

"There's a lot of molds you've broken as of late. It's why I don't understand you."

"Well, you know what they say, things are made to be broken."

"I'm afraid I don't know who 'they' are."

"Good, that makes two of us."

I stared at her confused expression. Even in my current state I managed to retain my attitude.

"Why are you here, Celestia?"

The question seemed to catch her off guard. "I'm here because I heard there was a dragon attack."

"No," I responded simply.

She frowned at me. "Are you saying I don't care about my subjects' safety?"

"No."

Celestia inhaled deeply, calming herself. I could see a flicker of annoyance pan across her features. "Care to explain then?" She asked carefully.

I so desperately wanted to respond with 'No' once more, but thought better of it. This conversation was already on its way to being one of the longest I've ever had with her. Why not go for the high score?

"You had no need to come to Ponyville because, quite honestly, you weren't needed. This town suffers enough disasters as it is and you have faith in Twilight to keep things together. In addition, the Wonderbolts had arrived, which meant that an alarm went out to Cloudsdale where their base is stationed. Even if you had wanted to rush here instantly, you were unable to. It was around midday when Spike lost control, and Day Court was most likely in session. Despite your motherly nature you're still a ruler, and you have duties to attend to. I assume you were informed of this incident roughly ten minutes after the call to Cloudsdale went out. You were unable to leave immediately, however, because you needed to calm those that also heard the report when a soldier rushed into the throne room, disrupting Court. By the time you had arrived the situation had been resolved and families were gathering at the town hall. You would have talked to Twilight about what happened, most likely in private, within her treehouse. After that you helped repair most of the town before making your way to the hospital, wanting to check on me. It's more than likely that Twilight had told you about my actions this day, and you either find it hard to believe, or you currently feel as tired as I feel."

Celestia merely laughed. It wasn't a boisterous laugh or anything, but it was still an interesting sound to hear from her. She eventually calmed herself before speaking, "Even bedridden you still manage to outsmart me in some way."

"It's both a curse and a blessing," I wryly replied. Oh look, emotion, how quaint.

"While you are correct, there's another reason why I wanted to meet you."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I wanted to ask you about this," she started, levitating a piece of paper in front of me. It was the plans I had offered to the mayor as well as the papers for the approval regarding the construction of additional roads. Oh, would you look at that, it even had the royal seal of approval.

No it wasn't a picture of a cake, as amusing as that would be.

I eyed the intricate symbol of the Sun blankly. I think I should be feeling surprised right about now, but I can't seem to get myself motivated. That seems worrying a bit, doesn't it?

"Why bother to create these roads?" Celestia began, "Not only will this allow my subjects to travel though the Everfree safely, but could lead to new trade routes as you've so happily pitched to the mayor if your notes are anything to go by. On top of all that you made a path, branching off from this road, that will take one directly to your safe haven. Why do all this?"

The paper left my field of vision and I was given full view of Celestia's perplexed mug. How should I answer this question now? I certainly didn't feel like giving her the satisfaction of knowing my real reasons. I decided to go with a simple, yet elusive approach.

"Why not?"

I watched as she stared back at me in confusion. I could see her biting her cheek, something she didn't usually show. I suppose neither of us were in the mood for formality. My own face was a blank slate, not even twitching as the minutes rolled by.

I still wasn't sure if that was because I was physically unable to, or just too emotionally drained.

Celestia returned the files back to her, magicking them away with a small burst of light. Shortly after, I was introduced to a new piece of paper.

Yet even more white to look at.

"In addition, I wanted to give you this," Celestia continued calmly.

As she levitated the paper before me, the first thing I noticed was yet another, gaudy, Sun. The second thing I realized about the piece of paper was that it was a deed. Let's see now, words, words, words, bla, bla, bla, so much of this stuff was mandatory, political garbage.

Ah, here we go. 'The land located south west of Ponyville, within the Everfree Forest, is hereby the property of the individual known as Robin. The property will be under the jurisdiction of Equestria, bla, bla, bla, I have the full rights of the land unless exceptions A, and I don't care, occur...'

Well, wasn't that interesting?

The paper continued to hover for a few more minutes until Celestia rolled it up, secured it with red ribbon, and placed the parchment on the stand beside my bed. I followed the motion, turning my head to look at the deed. So... what, am I a citizen of Equestria now? I certainly hoped not, as that would insinuate that I'm loyal to the crown, which I can assure you, I'm not. Was this a test of hers perhaps? Maybe it was rigged?

I was torn from my thoughts as the sound of hoofsteps receded from my position. I turned my head, looking at Celestia. Her horn was glowing, and the same glow could be found on the doorknob. It would seem that I was about to lose my company.

Unacceptable.

She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off, "Why?"

Why... such a simple word, yet one which had the power to carry so much upon its proverbial shoulders. Celestia merely smiled at me and responded, "Why not?"

... She's mocking me, isn't she? I believe I should feel indignant right about now, but all I feel is nothing. A dead weight within my body, holding me down.

She opened the door and walked out, but not before leaving me with one last tidbit to consider.

"Also, I believe the word you're looking for is not mawkish, but melancholy," and with that she closed the door, leaving me alone once more.

The sudden silence was deafening to me.

I closed my eyes, a small smile tugging at my lips as I allowed myself to succumb to exhaustion.

Melancholy... that sounded about right.