I don’t think I need to provide much of a monologue for this. I’m still here, telling my story, so I can say that I didn’t die. Funny that, right?
They say things are funnier in hindsight, well let me tell you: There’s still nothing funny about what’s happened to me, or what I did because of it.
So let’s just get moving. We have a lot to get through.
***
I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I’m here, stooped over on top of the piano.
It took a lot of work to get the piano lid open, but after that, it was pretty simple. Unwind the lowest length of piano wire, remove it from the piano, tie it around one of the roof-bars of the cage in a noose.
And now here I am, crouched on the lid of the piano, trying to work up the courage to jump.
The wire isn’t heavy, yet it sits on my shoulders like a dead weight, its cold steel resting against my neck.
One movement, and I can end this. That’s all it takes. All I need to be rid of this nightmare, so why can’t I do it?
I’m trying to coerce myself into the jump. If I hit the angle right, I might even be able to break my neck when the wire goes taught, and save me the pain of strangulation.
Is this the right way to handle this? Surely I can deal with this another way.
No. My situation will never change. My only weapon against Trixie is piano wire, and I could never attack her with it. She’s just take control of my mind.
I can’t live when my mind doesn’t belong to me, when someone else can literally force me to do anything they want.
My resolve is strengthening, and I am leaning out over the cage floor as I continue to debate within my head.
Trixie said I would never be free. Death is my freedom – the last option I have. I can’t do anything else. It’s as if the universe has abandoned me.
I mean, hell. There could even be a heaven – oh, no. If there is, then I’ll be going to hell for suicide. Okay, in that case, I say there is no heaven. Just a nice long sleep.
There was a girl at school – Sara - who hung herself. I don't like to think about it; but what's important is that as she was hanging in her bedroom, she scrawled an unfinished ‘It doesn’t hurt as’ on the wall, carving it right into the wood as she died.
It was a sickening detail, but at the moment it gives me solace that maybe this won’t be a completely horrible way to die. Maybe it will even be bearable.
Tears are rolling down my face now. Thinking about all of this is extremely stressful. Maybe I shouldn’t think about it. Maybe I should just do it, and think of all my regrets later.
Actually, aside from my biggest regret of not appreciating my life as much as I should have, my next biggest is that I’ll never be able to give Trixie her comeuppance… never be able to exact my revenge.
The thought of Trixie is unbearable. I don’t want to see her again. I should just jump before she arrives, before I have to see her face again.
I wipe the tears from my eyes. I want to die with a smidge of dignity. If there's a single thing I have left to my name, it must be that, and the only way to retain my dignity is to die on my own terms.
I can’t believe it. I’m going to do it. I’ve actually managed to talk myself into doing this.
I need to stop thinking. If I keep thinking, I’ll start to rationalize, and then I won’t have the nerve to go through with it.
‘Just do it!’ My mind screams at me, and I’m all too happy to comply.
“Fuck you, Trixie.” I blurt out, before leaning out over the tipping point.
***
Trixie sighed contently.
She was sitting in Sugarcube Corner, enjoying a pair of delicious cupcakes and a glass of fresh apple juice.
To think that over the last three weeks she had gone from scrounging through garbage at least once a week to living it up and spending big was amazing. If she hadn’t captured that human, then she could have starved to death by now.
Trixie lifted one of the cupcakes in her magical aura and took a dainty bite, leaning back in her chair and giving a small smile.
This had been a fruitful endeavour – if a little harmful to a certain human. Although, Trixie hadn’t beaten him in at least a week… maybe longer. Given time, he might come to enjoy what he was doing, instead of resenting her.
She couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. She wasn’t exactly feeding her accomplice properly, although when his new low-movement lifestyle was coupled with a spell that slowed his metabolism, he barely needed feeding anyway, as far as Trixie could tell.
“Hello!”
Trixie was snapped out of her reverie by the sweet little voice of a young grey unicorn filly, who had wandered over from where she and presumably her sister were sitting.
“Hmm?” Trixie stopped leaning back, placing her cupcake back on its plate as she looked down at the unicorn. “Why hello there, little filly.”
“I really liked the show.” The grey filly smiled. “I wish that I could tame humans like you do.”
Trixie smiled gently, a small amount of unease leaking through. One human in this world was enough. “Well, it’s nice to meet a fan, but Trixie advises against trying to tame humans. They are very dangerous creatures, and are not to be trifled with, little…”
“Sweetie Belle.” The grey filly’s smile widened.
“Well, little Sweetie Belle.” Trixie picked up her cupcake again. “Trixie wouldn’t go getting caught up in human taming if she was you. Even she finds it difficult.”
“Oh…” Sweetie Belle’s grin disappeared, and Trixie felt a twinge of sadness before the smile returned. “Well, can you tell the Piano Man that I really like his performance?”
“Well, Trixie will tell him…” Trixie smiled sadly. “But we both know he won’t understand.”
“Yeah, I know, but can you tell him anyway?” Sweetie Belle pleaded, her eyes large and innocent.
Trixie gave a little laugh, and patted the filly on her head. “Of course, now run along. Trixie needs to finish eating so that she can get back to her wagon.”
“Speakin' of yer wagon…” A familiar looking peach coloured earth pony near the door piped up. “There’s some mighty strange sounds comin’ from it, an’ they don’t sound very good.”
“Oh.” Trixie’s face blanched. “Don’t they?” She stood up, immediately wondering what the human could be up to.
She dropped a few bits on the table. “Everypony stay away from Trixie’s wagon. It may be dangerous.”
Without waiting for a response, Trixie galloped out of Sugarcube Corner. Whatever was happening, it couldn’t possibly be good.
***
It was too much to hope that I could hit the right angle to snap my neck. Of course it was. Why would Murphy’s Law grant me otherwise?
The cable goes taught, and my legs jerk to a stop beneath me.
Sara lied. The pain is unbearable. How did this not decapitate me?
My legs flail around uselessly as my vision blurs from the pain. This was a terrible idea. I don’t want to do this. Living is a much better alternative to this.
I let out a choked rasp, trying to reach up and grasp the roof-bars of the cage so that I can stop the pain. I can’t do this. I can’t!
My throat is gurgling, and my lungs are burning as the carbon dioxide builds up. A few more seconds and I’ll succumb to the poisoning. After that, it will only be a minute or so until I die.
I let out a hoarse – but extremely weak – scream, somehow managing to push it out of my constricted throat. I can scream, but for some reason I can’t breath. How long has it been? Forty seconds. I can’t keep going. I’m blacking out.
What do I want? I’m so close to passing out. I should just give up and let it happen. It’s what I wanted, and it’s what I’m getting.
My vision is fading. All I can think of is the fact that I’ve finally beaten Trixie. She said I would never escape. Well, I’m about to.
Suddenly, my haze is interrupted by the sound of a door slamming, and a loud “NO!”
‘No… Trixie… just let… let me die…’ My barely functioning mind manages to cobble the words together from a process of thoughts that I can barely make sense of. It’s a pointless activity anyway. There’s no way I can talk at the moment.
I start to jerk my legs again, making more choked noises as a sudden burst of adrenaline brings me a little further back from the edge of unconsciousness, and a flash of magenta lights up my dim vision.
Suddenly, the pressure around my neck is released, and I drop to the floor, my legs giving out instantly.
My head collides with the floor as I flop to the ground, and I fall once more into the welcome nothingness of unconsciousness.
***
Trixie watched in horror as the human fell from his noose, collapsing face first on the ground. Thank Celestia she had got there in time. A minute more and he would have been dead.
Trixie slumped against the wall, her face weary.
“How did it come to this?” She whispered to herself, glancing back at the door into the wagon.
How had it come to this? Trixie never expected the human to try and kill itself.
She hadn’t beaten it since its first escape attempt. In fact, the worst she’d done since then was striking the human when it had been uncooperative. Striking was different to full-blown beatings. She knew that.
She looked down at the form in front of her. Its neck was circled with a neat ring of black from where the piano-wire had bruised it.
Her horn lit up, and the bruise was quickly erased. The ease with which she could manipulate the human was astounding… in fact that may be one of the reasons it had done this.
Trixie unfastened the noose from the ceiling, using her magic to rip into four lengths of wire, before using each one to bind the human’s limbs to the side of the cage.
With the Piano Man now immobile Trixie was able to step outside. She needed some air. And a drink.
What she found, however, was entirely different.
Trixie closed the door to the wagon, and turned around to wave away the few ponies that had been waiting for her to return from a respectable distance.
However, one of them started walking towards her. The lavender one that the human had named Twilight… the one that had humiliated her back when she had last come to Ponyville.
“It’s… Twilight, isn’t it?” Trixie asked cautiously as the lavender mare approached. “Your assistance will not be necessary. The situation is under control.”
“Twilight Sparkle, and I’m sure it is, Trixie.” Twilight smiled softly, before producing a scroll from one of her saddlebags. “Actually, I’m just here to deliver a letter.”
“A letter?” Trixie raised an eyebrow, shifting slightly to make sure that she was blocking entrance to her wagon. “For me?”
“Yes!” The lavender unicorn replied cheerily, passing the roll or paper to Trixie. “I received this from Canterlot. It has the royal seal.”
“Thank you, Miss Sparkle.” Trixie took the scroll in her own aura, and unfurled it. She simply wanted the mare to leave so that she could gather her thoughts and think out her next move.
What was on the paper, however, changed that plan entirely.
- - - - -
To the beast-tamer; Trixie Lulamoon, known by the stage name ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie’.
Your presence is requested at Canterlot, to discuss arrangements for the piano playing human known as ‘The Piano Man’ to provide entertainment at the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala. Accommodation and living expenses will be provided for by the state.
Regally, Princess Luna, Ruler of the Night.