Over a thousand years ago, two royal siblings fought for the sky and were exiled, one by her sister's hoof, and one in penance for what she had done.

In the present Republic of Equestria, no one remembers them as anything more than legends and old pony tales. Save for one shy filly who fell from the sky one fine summer's day.

An Alternate Universe "What If" tale, reconstructing the beginning from a different angle.

Think of everything you hate about people online. Now bundle up all those bad traits and throw it into a pony. You now have Caps Lock: an over opinionated, egotistic pony that simply enjoys the anguish of others.

Now throw that pony into Ponyville Elementary School, and you get this story.

Cover art thanks to IJAB. Click for better resolution.
Rated Teen for some course language, mature themes, and overall inappropriateness.

'What is it about humans that urges them seek out so many endeavors in order to feed their desires? Greed, power, family, friends, philosophy, knowledge; infinite goals and infinite reasons behind them. Whoever or whatever created these beings are either cunning; to create self motivating creatures that will constantly push the limits of what's possible, or downright cruel; never truly allowing them to feel true fulfillment or satisfaction. The point is humans were created with a void, a missing piece left intentionally empty never to be filled, an undying hunger.'

A bit grim right? The names Rodney, and in case you're wondering, this is the story of my life. A life of Magic, Gods, and regrettably, Ponies. Yeah, freakin-multi-techno-collored-goody-ponies.
But it's not all bad really, got way healthier with a more green diet. Though the lack of meat can be painful at times, that one landed me in less than desired situations. I get to screw with innocent ponies on a regular basis. Didn't kill myself or everyone else with me either. So not a bad deal really, even ended up retiring as teacher.

Teen for language and some adult themes.
This takes place before season 3.

HIATUS: Currently at a programmer's boot camp. Will be done late June 2015.

AN: If you can see past my cruddy writing skills there's plenty to tickle your funny bones, I hope. First attempt at writing a fic.

Rainbolt never meant to get Firefly pregnant. In fact, he NEVER wanted to have children. Accidents do happen, though, and this one will leave the poor stallion with a sweet, daring, and spunky little filly named Rainbow Dash to raise and care for.

Cover art by the extremely talented High-Roller2108

One foggy morning in Ponyville, the residents wake up to find their deepest darkest secrets sloppily written in red paint on their homes. No one knows who the culprit was, the only thing that the town knows is that it will not come off, no matter how hard you scrub. The town is baffled, humiliated, and in shambles. But no more than Twilight and her friends.

In a time where everything you fought to keep hidden is out into the open, will you embrace your faults or sins, or will you let them consume just who you really are?

Time to fess up, Ponyville.

Thanks to ThePristineEye for the coverart!

Also thanks to Kleora for editing!

Oh, and Skeeter The Lurker for proofreading.

Imagine, if you will, that Twilight Sparkle never met Princess Celestia.

Pretty original premise, right?

Well, how about instead of somepony predictable, a different pony took the entrance exam... and passed!

This is about Zecora, a zebra on vacation who stumbled into the wrong room and changed her fate forever.

You've watched every episode at least twice. You make regular pilgrimages to Hot Topic for pony stuff. You post regularly on MLP fanfiction sites. And you have a crush on Fluttershy.

In short, you could not be more of a brony if you tried.

So what happens when the Mane 6 suddenly materialize in your bedroom...and they're not very happy to see you?

Special thanks to Espeon_in_the_morning, RDTwin, The Lost One, JarheadHME, and TinkerStrike, for pre-reading and editing!

EDIT: By Steinbeck's mustache, this fic has been featured!

After stumbling upon an ancient relic despised by the princesses themselves, Clean Sweep goes from a run-of-the-mill street cleaner to a new lifestyle entirely.

Whether this is for better or for worse, he has yet to determine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~SQUIGLY SQUIGLY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you do so happen to favorite this (for which I am already moderately grateful), would you mind just leaving a little upvote up there? Shaped like a thumb. Turns green. Can't miss it.

After years of trying, Scootaloo finally discovers her special talent.
It's the worst thing that ever happened to her. She'll have to leave Rainbow Dash and all her friends behind as she's forced to go off and learn about her new talent... and then it gets worse.

The sequel, Choices Legacy, is now available.

As always, I adore getting comments about the story; the more specific and prolific the better -- negative comments included. Your comments help make my future stories better.
Featured on Equestria Daily.

Many thanks to my team. I couldn't have done it without them.
Pre-readers:
MailboxBomber
Kyaksa
tosety
IceBeerG

Dialog Consultants:
Jacob Ellinger
kidmurkury
markey58

Editors:
IRpony

Proofreaders:
OkemosBrony
Unimpressive Vagaries

Artwork:
Scootaloo Vector by MoongazePonies
Background and cutie mark by author
In-Chapter art by author

*Cancelled because my motives to finish this story died.

During a raging war in Canterlot back in the ancient times, the queen of Equestria unexpectedly begins giving birth. While the king is away fighting the war at the head of the army, their daughter, Princess Celestia, attempts to protect her mother against the enemy during her surprise delivery. But with the enemy soldiers looking specifically for the fragile queen and newborn foal, this is not an easy task.