X: Rustled Jimmies
“Scootaloo! Hold his back legs!”
“Ah’ll get his front ones!”
“What are you fags—HEY! STOP IT! LEMME GO!”
While Rainbow Dash was still curled up in a ball off to the side, coughing and moaning, the CMC jumped Caps Lock and pinned him to the ground. Their hooves pressed hard onto his flesh and he cried out in pain. His cries garnered no remorse, however, as the fillies looked down at him with hatred.
“How DARE you hurt Rainbow Dash?!” Sweetie Belle shouted as Caps Lock struggled to break from his captors. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo did their best to keep the flailing colt against the ground.
“Oh! You gotta take me in numbers?!” Caps Lock shouted. “Come on! One V one me! One V one me! One V one me!”
He kept repeating the phrase until Sweetie Belle pushed her hoof into his chest. “Just shut up!” she shouted.
“What in the hay is goin’ on here?”
The four ponies looked up to see Apple Jack making her way from Sweet Apple Acres with a wagon of apples. She first looked from the young ponies, and then to her friend Rainbow Dash.
“Are ya’ll tryin’ to get yer cutie marks by fightin’ now?” Apple Jack asked. “And Rainbow Dash, did you actually lose?”
“No!” the pegasus replied angrily, trying to defend her pride. She slowly stood up and walked over to the captive Caps Lock. “This little brat kicked me in the—”
“VAGINA!” Caps Lock shouted over her. He then went into a fit of laughter that ended when Sweetie Belle applied more pressure to his chest. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom fought to keep his legs under their control.
Rainbow Dash seriously contemplated stepping on the colt’s privates, just to see how he liked it. Apple Jack walked over and looked down at Caps Lock, and he smiled up at her.
“What’s with the hat?” Caps Lock asked snidely. “I bet you’re—MMPH!”
Sweetie Belle put her other hoof over Caps Lock’s mouth to silence him before he could rile up Apple Jack. “He keeps doing and saying mean things!” Sweetie shouted.
“He’s a troll!” Scootaloo shouted.
“And you’re all FA—MMPH! MMPH-MPPHS!” was all Caps Lock managed to get out before having a hoof slammed over his mouth again.
“Ah don’t know what a troll is, but if he’s been wrong doin’, he should be taught a lesson,” Apple Jack said.
Caps Lock’s eyes went wide and he began thrashing, eventually breaking free of the CMC. “You’re not teaching me SHIT!” he shouted into Apple Jack’s face, sending her reeling backwards. “You talk like a retard! You probably couldn’t tell me the ABC’s!”
“Easy where you’re treadin’ there, pardner,” Apple Jack said slowly. She brought the brim of her hat down to just above her eyes. Rainbow Dash stepped beside the angry earth pony, trying to warn her about the game Caps Lock was playing.
Rainbow Dash leaned in close to Apple Jack and whispered into her ear, “He’s going to try to—”
“Whoa! You see that? They kissed!” Caps Lock shouted, pointing at the two mares. “LESBIANS!”
Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash looked at each other and their faces turned red. They took a step away from each other and looked angrily to Caps Lock.
“Don’t go spreadin’ lies like that! She was just tellin’ me somethin', that's all!” Apple Jack shouted, denying the accusations. “What was it you were gonna tell me, Rainbow?” she asked, turning back to Rainbow Dash.
“I’m tryin’ to tell you that—”
“GAAAAAAAAAY!” Caps lock shouted over Rainbow Dash.
“Stop it, Caps Lock!” Sweetie Belle shouted.
The colt smiled back at the fillies. “Okay,” he said calmly. Without another word, he hitched up his school bag and began trotting off. All anypony could do was stare as their tormentor walked off casually.
Wait for it…wait for it…
“I ain’t done with you yet!” Apple Jack shouted, spinning the colt around. Just like with Rainbow Dash, he dropped to the ground and instantly began crying. Apple Jack was suddenly overcome with fear, and she forgot her anger toward the colt.
“Shh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean ta hurt ya!” she apologized, trying to stop the colt from crying. Rainbow Dash and the three fillies pulled AJ away from Caps Lock as fast as they could.
“It’s a trap!” Scootaloo yelled.
Caps Lock’s cries were interrupted by a snort of laughter. He pulled himself up from the ground and looked to the five ponies. “It’s been fun,” he said, saluting them all. “But I’ve seriously got more important things to do.” He then turned to the CMC before whispering, “I’ll see you three…tomorrow…”
The fillies looked to each other nervously as Caps Lock walked away. This time, neither Rainbow Dash nor Apple Jack tried to stop him. They waited till he was out of sight to discuss their situation.
“Let me just…fly him to the top of a mountain and leave him there!” Rainbow Dash suggested. “Or toss him into space! Nopony would ever know!”
Apple Jack listened as the others discussed horrible things to do to Caps Lock. Finally she said, “What Ah think ya gotta do is beat him at his own game.”
“We tried that, but we weren’t any good at it, sis!” Apple Bloom pouted. She looked from her sister, then to her two friends. “Twilight was good at it, though! Let’s see her tomorrow after class!”
“What about me? I can be mean!” Rainbow Dash said, almost offended they hadn’t consulted her first. They just shook their heads in disapproval.
“You don’t understand. Twilight said things that really made him mad! And they weren’t names, or, or anything bad like what he says!” Sweetie Belle said.
The CMC agreed on meeting Twilight at the library the next day. They split up and went to their own homes for the night. Sweetie Belle spent the night at Rarity’s Boutique, listening through the walls to her sister muttering the word “skank” repeatedly. Apple Bloom had a similar night, listening to Apple Jack struggle to recite her ABC’s correctly.
----
The next day at school, Cherilee greeted the student as they entered her classroom. Caps Lock was the last to wander in and his smile instantly aggravated the teacher.
“Caps Lock, dear, I have a special seat for you today,” Cherilee said, indicating to a desk set apart from the rest of the class.
He looked at the desk and happily sat at it. After setting down his school bag, he looked up and gave his teacher an extra big smile.
What’s he planning? Cherilee thought to herself. She turned to address the rest of class, cheerfully saying, “Good morning! I hope you’re all feeling better today!”
The classroom had been bleached over night to clean up the vomit, but the smell of bleach alone was enough to turn some of the students’ stomachs. Caps Lock laughed loudly and continued to stare at Cherilee.
“Now, yesterday we were supposed to go over a sensitive topic, and I feel like we’ve put it off long enough,” Cherilee said. The classroom sighed before the teacher even picked up the chalk. She wrote out “The Birds and the Bees” in big letters and turned to the class. “I have some good news though, class,” she said with a smile.
“You’ll be demonstrating?” Caps Lock said without a second’s delay. Snickers and quiet laughs could be heard through the otherwise quiet classroom. All it took to really get them going was Caps Lock adding, “Demonstrating…on me!”
Cherilee just listened to her own thoughts as she waited for the class to settle down. Maybe I could just have Rainbow Dash toss him into space. “Settle down, class,” she said, trying to quiet them. “As I was saying, the good news is…” she paused, waiting for whatever snide remark Caps Lock had planned.
Caps Lock just sat at his desk quietly with a crayon in his mouth. He looked up when Cherilee didn’t continue speaking and said, “No, go on, I’ll allow it this time.”
The teacher’s eye twitched, but she turned to class and continued. “We’ll be having a guest speaker today to help explain everything.”
The class started whispering excitedly, knowing that a guest speaker meant they wouldn’t have to listen to Cherilee drone on about puberty and erections. A knock came at the door and all the ponies went silent. Cherilee opened the door and poked her head out; speaking with whomever was outside for a moment before looking back to the class.
“Class,” Cherilee said, opening the door and allowing a yellow pegasus mare to enter, “please help me welcome our guest speaker, Fluttershy!”
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Uh oh
CAPS LOCK BEWARE
That troll sucked 0/10
Oh dear.
This is going to go very, very badly for one of them.
3678005
Yeah, I said he has the worst traits of people on the internet, such as those who think they're great trolls, and really aren't.
Oh god, please let Fluttershy turn out to be the Troll-bane!
I have this sudden mental image of - when he tries to Troll Shy - she suddenly ties him up, gags him, hangs him upside down, and says, "Any more trouble, little one, and we'll all play piñata."
The next chapter is going to be SO epic! There are so many way it can go.
Can't wait!
Alas, I know that at some point Caps Lock will be taken down. The thing is though, I really don't want him to lose. Just let him go forever.
oh.... my...
Fluttershy already trolled Discord. She can do it again to Faps Cock.
Ah, Final Draft, I see you're another supporter of the "Applejack is a filthy, literally retarded sludge pony" mindset. Good man, good man.
The thing about internet trolls is that they can do their thing without consequeces but for this little dude, there might be sewere damage since he dont have the luxury of anonimity. Cant wait to see how it plays out.
yesyesyeysyeysysyeysysyeysyeyysyeys forevea yes
3678022 nononnoononnnnoo you have no idea! the author would never just end the story there! i'm pretty sure the'll both be at each others throught forevea
3678541
Alternatively, it goes like this.
Fluttershy: Today, everyone, I'll be teaching you about the birds and the bees.
CL: Will you be demonstrating?
FS: Yes. I was going to demonstrate with your Mom.
CL: Your Mom jokes are so lame!
FS: Well, I would have asked your Father, but he was too busy being her little bitch.
CL: ...MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!
FS: Do you need help hiding the bodies?
I mean, seriously, if this is in Season 4, Fluttershy LIVES with Discord. She knows how to handle a troll.
And we are now down to the last of the Mane 6. Let's see how he'll do against potentially his hardest challenge yet.
3678560 i think you're wron and just like our past conversations allow me to say the smart thing (although this time it won't be porn related) flutter shy will in-fact be a worthy adversary but she'll need help in witch discord will ste in and the'll have an epic pony troll down! your rebuttal
3678583
No rebuttal. We've each stated our views.
I think Fluttershy will handle Caps Lock herself. You think she'll call in Discord.
The rest of our discussion are only normal specifics that are likely not to be accurate. The only way one of us will 'win' the argument will be when the author posts the next chapter.
I'm not actually making predictions. I'm just trying to be funny.
3678698
I'mma make it so you both lose
Oh, this is going to be good.
3678053
Iseewhatyoudidthere.
Ohhh, dear... this is going to be bad...
I can't fucking wait!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/293/590/6f6.gif
I want to bitch slap this little piece of fuck so hard.
3678998 WhatdidIdothere?
3680306
"Faps" Lock.
3680339 I thought I said "Faps Cock."
3680547 With a C.
Does anyone else think that Fluttershy will talk about REAL birds and bees?
This is why you shouldn't be an IRL troll; you CAN take it too far. Also, it's a whole lot harder to not take things seriously. Caps Lock has his moments, but sometimes it seems like he's not doing things just for the lulz, for example, when he gets mad at other ponies.
I think Cheerilee's hoping that Fluttershy will be able to tame Caps Lock. Hard to say whether she'll succeed or not, but I am hoping to see Caps Lock getting into even more trouble by breaking her thoroughly.
3680547
LOL.
Caps ain't gonna continue trolling after he gets "The Stare"
Cap Locks Vs. Fluttershy
Ok, let me get some popcorn and a front row seat. This is going to be good.
The space core would know!!!
t0.gstatic.com/imagesq=tbn:ANd9GcTZpesE3Cnozck6DxPaVUJtLl1XQ8EkIq4VSm6731c89D5CVqx9
Oh god the language.
Wish I could find a censored version. (Now I'm talking about the story.)
3678022 ooooh, please let that happen!!!
OH GODS NO
THIS WILL END SO BADLY
Omg... FLUTTERTROLL POSSIBILITY!?