II: You Mad?
“Ah don’t get it,” Apple Bloom said, looking at the crowd gathered around the new student. “Why’d he act like that?”
“And why does everypony think he’s sooo funny?” Scootaloo asked.
“Isn’t it obvious? He has a very advanced sense of humor.”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders turned to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon eavesdropping on their conversation. The two looked just as smug as ever, and pushed past the fillies.
“And unlike some losers here, he has his cutie mark,” Diamond Tiara said, pointing over at the colt’s flank. The cutie mark that represented Caps Lock’s special talent (of which none knew for sure) looked like the leaves of a four leaf clover without a stem.
“We’re going over to introduce ourselves!” Silver Spoon said, and the two fillies strutted toward the gathering of colts. The group, which had been laughing uproariously at some of Caps Lock’s antics, suddenly went quiet.
“Hello!” Diamond Tiara said, addressing the new student. “I’m Diamond Tiara, and this is—”
“DON’T CARE! TITS OR GTFO!” Caps Lock shouted, interrupting the filly. She simply looked at him in shock as the group of colts laughed.
“Excuse me, what?” Diamond Tiara asked shrilly, wide eyed at the colt’s ultimatum. “What did you just ask for?”
“He said, tits or GTFO!” one of the other classmates replied. Caps Lock looked to the colt angrily and pushed him out of the circle.
“BANNED FOR OFFENSIVE COMMENT!” Caps Lock shouted.
The colt stood up and looked at Caps Lock in confusion. “But, but, all I did was say what you said!”
“PERMA BAN!” Caps Lock shouted. “ARGUING WITH ADMIN!”
“Wait! But—!”
“THREAD CLOSED!” Caps Lock shouted, and trotted away from the confused group. He made his way past Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom, stopping only briefly to size them up. They looked at him warily, hoping he wouldn’t have another strange outburst. After a moment, he smiled at them, raised his eyebrows twice, and trotted back into the school building.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about him,” Sweetie Belle said to the others. They nodded in agreement before being pushed out of the way by an absolutely livid Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. They stomped into the school building just as the bell rang to mark the end of recess.
Back in the classroom, Cherilee had managed to recompose herself, and she sat up straight in her chair. She fumbled clumsily with her desk drawer before standing to address the class.
“Welcome back class!” she said as cheerfully as she could. “I’ve decided instead of math, you can all just come to the front of the room, and tell your classmates how you spent your weekend! Doesn’t that sound fun?”
The class was actually pleased with the change in the lesson plan, and began to chatter excitedly. “I think Caps Lock should go first!” Diamond Tiara said above the noise. “After all, he’s the new student!”
Cherilee looked at Diamond Tiara with a death glare before mumbling in monotone, “Yes, that’s a wonderful idea. Caps Lock? Can you come to the front of the room?”
Loving to be the center of attention, Caps Lock rushed to the front of the class. He cleared his throat loudly before speaking in a tone a few decibels quieter than usual. “I spent my weekend playing Battle Stallion 3! I got my K/D up to 3.5!”
“Is that all you did? Play that violent video game?” Cherilee asked in disgust, appalled any parent would buy their colt an M rated game.
Caps Lock thought for a moment, and at last a look of inspiration came to his face. “AND I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
Once again, the immature class found the new student’s taste of humor absolutely hilarious. The teacher however, did not.
“Caps Lock! Go to your seat!” the teacher shouted, a vein on her forehead throbbing violently. Caps Lock did a small jig, smiling up at the teacher with his almost cartoonish grin, before racing back to his seat.
“Can…can I go next?” Feather Weight asked, raising his hoof timidly. Cherilee’s glare changed to a warm smile as she looked at one of her more well-behaved students.
“Sure,” she replied happily, “Please go ahead.”
Feather Weight shakily approached the front of the class room and Caps Lock blew a loud raspberry. Naturally, laughter followed. Cherilee gave an encouraging nod to Feather Weight, and a death stare to Caps Lock.
“I visited Canterlot with my parents over the weekend,” Feather Weight began. The whole while he spoke, Caps Lock mimicked him in a nasally voice. “I even got to meet Princess Celestia.
“WHOA! PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!” Caps Lock interrupted.
Feather Weight, whose talent was photography, reached into his bag and removed photographic proof of his encounter with Equestria’s ruler.
“SHOPPED!” Caps Lock shouted, glancing away from the photos. “YOU CAN TELL BY THE PIXELS!”
“What? No, these are real,” Feather Weight objected. “I took them myself.”
“That’s very nice, thank you Feather Weight,” Cherilee said. “Can you do me a favor and switch seats with CAPSLOCKWHATAREYOUDOING?!”
The colt had removed a pair of scissors from his school bag and had taken to cutting the back of Sweetie Belle’s mane. She turned and screamed when she saw a pile of her own hair on his desk.
“CAPS LOCK! SIT UP HERE NOW!” Cherilee shouted, indicating to Feather Weight’s desk.
“Sheesh, no need to yell,” Caps Lock said, tossing the scissors back into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. The teacher nearly exploded.
Feather Weight made his way cautiously around Caps Lock, and Sweetie Belle cried, trying to look at the damage done to her mane. Cherilee stomped to her desk, dropped into her chair, and opened the desk drawer.
“Class,” she said, blatantly removing the flask and taking a long drink. “It’s quiet time now.”
And with that, the teacher’s head hit the desk and she slipped off to some magical land where maiming bad students was completely legal. The class sat in silence, wondering if she’d get up, but after a few moments, it became apparent she wasn’t.
“Mods are asleep,” Caps Lock whispered, reaching into his bag and removing a strange device. With the click of a button, the screen on the device lit up and the students crowded around his desk. He looked around at his audience with an evil grin.
"So…Who here hasn’t seen Two Mares, One Cup?”
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UGH! I usually skip past posts in the promo bureau, but I clicked yours because of the weird title.
I was not disappointing! I slammed my head into my desk many times during this!
3628340
I am so glad to hear that, but I hope you slammed your head into the desk from laughter and not frustration, such as Cherliee did
I...
I don't...
I don't understand.
... but I think I like it.
...This.
Brings back many very unpleasant reminders of people from high school.
I hope caps lock meets a very unpleasant end very quickly.
This will not end well...
There is only one word that can be used to describe this story.
TROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
And is it good that I haven't seen that? probably.
You have created a plague. You have cast it upon Equestria. You... You have the world in your hands. Don't drop it.
3628443
There are some things on the internet it is best to stay ignorant of. Blue Waffles. Two Girls One Cup. LemonParty.Org.
To name a few.
Oh no.
Than ending.
Oh god no.
~Skeeter The Lurker
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Trixie_lolface_2.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Emoticons/lolface_Queen_Chrysalis.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
3628488
I clicked on all of them and expected at least one to be a jump scare.
"looked like the leaves of a 4 leafed clover without a stem."
me: oh crap, not that
3628438
HUEHUHEUHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUHEUEHUEHUE
When asked about his weekend, I expected greentext.
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7hgapYGha1rxc156o1_250.gif
Yep, this has definitely secured the spot for 'Minimoog's Favorite Fic.'
Can't wait for more
Does anyone else here read out loud whenever he talks in caps.
Caps Lock for best antihero? Ooh, I want to see him and Discord face off.
YOLO!
Again, why do I find this hilarious? I should be above this sort of humor! Damn it! What have you unleashed?
I really expected to him to say, "Post ponies" after the Mods Asleep line.
i.imgur.com/I5rVIGJ.jpg
I demand you make him become the entirety of /pol/ one chapter. It would be glorious.
3629626
In the original, he did, but for some reason it seemed out of place...probably because they are ponies.
3628451
You forgot 2 girls 1 finger. It's a lot worse than 2 girls 1 cup.
3626314
No, I know that was Konahrik, and what/who the fuck Is vodahmin? Is it a dragon? Damn it! I cannot remember for the life of me!!!
-Lightning
3628389
Pinkamena, will you do the honors?
3630109
I hav herd 2 girls 1 cup somwar befor, but I din´t know what it was...
until I've read you´re comment...
I hav vomit to clean up
DIAMOND TIARA = PWNED
TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
3631017
>be totallynotabrony
>be checking favorite ponyfiction website
>get notification
>someone asking questions about greentext
>run demonstration
3631017
You know what it is a joke on, right?
Mods are asleep: POST PONIES!!
AWESOME oh sorry my caps lock is or was on A guy screamed on the top of his lungs ''DAMM YOU AND YOUR PUNS''
hmmm that wasent meant to be a pun owell ohh great chapter and the ending OH No i am dead poof
You are an awful, awful person for writing this, and I hate you.
Don't stop.
3629516
Yes, it would be a battle of legendary proportions.
J.K. It would just be two random being spewing random insults with lots of yelling.
Oh god yes
CHAPTER THREE INCOMIIIIIIIING!
This is too funny. I love internet jokes/memes, no matter how beaten against a dead horse they are.
Cheerilee: ok I hate all you horrible kids *drinks alcohol* aaaand im wasted
caps lock: LOL
troll.me/images/hungover-spiderman/oh-shit-nigga-what-are-you-doing.jpg
OH GOD HE'S FROM 4CHAN!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!
3635108 *snort* *snort*
Omg.. His cutie mark is the 4-Chan symbol.
lemme guess, forum B?
That explains so much...
3631039 That's EXACTLY what I thought!!!
Because he's a boy, Applebloom. They're all assholes. Well, some are
Just like being in school...