XII: Rage Quit
“You…you learned how to internet?” Apple Bloom asked fearfully into Twilight’s unblinking eyes.
“Oh, I learned how to internet alright,” she replied, setting the scared filly down. She turned back to her screen and began clicking on the mouse furiously again. Images and documents flashed across the screen too fast for any pony other than Twilight to comprehend.
“Did you not sleep last night?” Sweetie Belle asked, looking up at Twilight’s bloodshot eyes.
“Couldn’t,” Twilight replied quickly. “Too much new information to process.”
She clicked on a string of letters and it brought up a page with pictures of cats. All the pictures were captioned with poorly worded phrases, and Twilight laughed as she scrolled through the page.
“Look,” she said, pointing to a picture of a large cat with its mouth open and its head titled sideways. “I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?” she read aloud from the caption. “You see, it’s funny because it makes it look like the cat is asking the question, and seeing as cats can’t talk, it would speak poorly. HAHAHAHAHAHA!” The CMC looked to each other nervously as Twilight laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
“Hey, that looks like Opalescence!” Sweetie Belle shouted as Twilight continued to scroll through the page. Indeed, there was a picture of Rarity’s cat with the caption “I had fun once. It was awful.”
“LIKED AND FAVOURITED!” Twilight shouted, mashing onto her mouse. A little green +1 appeared next to the picture of Opal, and Twilight kept scrolling.
“Twilight, we need your help with Caps Lock!” Scootaloo said, tugging on Twilight’s hoof. “You’re the only one who managed to—”
“Look!” Twilight shouted, pointing at her screen. There was a black box with “wait for it” written in the middle. The fillies stared at the box for a few moments, and just when it appeared nothing was going to happen, a demonic mare’s face flashed onto the screen. A loud, high pitched scream came from the computer’s speakers, but it could barely be heard over the actual screams of the CMC.
The three terrified fillies closed their eyes and listened as Twilight laughed hysterically. “That wasn’t funny!” Sweetie Belle shouted. “You’re acting like Caps Lock now!”
“That’s the point, girls,” Twilight said gently. “What I just did there is called trolling.”
“Is trolling what a troll does?” Apple Bloom asked, opening her eyes.
“Exactly,” Twilight answered. “I found the definition on this website right here.” She clicked onto a link she’d saved and “CanterlotDictionary.com” popped up. Twilight went to type in TROLL, but saw she didn’t recognize the word of the day.
“Go on, what’s a troll?” Sweetie Belle asked. She watched as Twilight’s hoof slowly dragged the cursor over to the word of the day. “And what’s a ‘Screaming Seagull’?”
“Let’s just find that out first,” Twilight said clicking on the phrase. The definition loaded and Twilight began reading it to herself. “When two ponies are…on the beach…and the male…into…the sand…and…OH, THAT’S TERRIBLE!”
“What? What?” the fillies asked, struggling to look at the screen.
“Nothing!” Twilight shouted, quickly hitting the back button and typing TROLL into the search bar. “Where were we? Oh yes! A troll just purposely does things to get a certain reaction from its victims. Usually anger.”
“Does it say how to stop a troll?” Apple Bloom asked, lifting herself up into Twilight’s lap for a better view of the computer screen.
“Every time I’ve searched that, all I get back is the cryptic phrase, ‘don’t feed the troll’. I don’t know what it means,” Twilight answered.
Sweetie Belle looked up with realization. “Fluttershy,” she whispered. The others looked to her in confusion. “Fluttershy didn’t ‘feed’ Caps Lock by ignoring him.”
Twilight scoffed and then said, “You can’t simply ignore your problems…Can you?”
“Well, it worked for Fluttershy; we can at least try it!” Sweetie Belle shouted. They nodded in agreement and ran up out of the library’s basement. Twilight looked around to make sure she was alone once more and opened several tabs. Pictures of stallions in various positions appeared on the screen and Twilight licked her lips.
“Hey Twilight!” a voice shouted from the stairwell.
Twilight panicked and force closed her entire browser. She turned to see Scootaloo standing at the base of the stairs, and hoped she hadn’t seen any of Twilight’s private browsing material. “Y-yes? What is it Scootaloo?”
“Did you ever find out what a blue waffle was?”
Twilight gagged, but regained her composure. “I did, unfortunately,” she replied.
“Well, what was it?” Scootaloo asked with curiosity.
“It was a mare’s—actually—you don’t need to know!” Twilight said, trying to get the image from her mind. “Just know this; it isn’t as bad as Tub Mare.”
“Tub Mare? Is that like Two Mares One Cup?”
“What?”
“Nothing!” Scootaloo shouted, running back up the stairs.
Twilight scratched her head and turned back to her computer. She’d spent several hours on the internet and there was still so much she had to learn. It didn’t help there was so much easily accessible pornographic material that kept distracting her. For a moment, she debated indulging in her fantasies some more, but decided she would look into Two Mares One Cup.
The fillies were about a mile away when Twilight’s screams of disgust echoed through the town. They and several town ponies stopped and listened for several moments before the screams finally faded.
“Was that Twilight?” Apple Bloom asked.
“It sounded like her…Oh look! It’s Fluttershy!” Sweetie Belle shouted. Picking out some vegetables in the town market was indeed Fluttershy. The fillies went to approach her, but Caps Lock appeared from behind one of the stalls and beat them there.
He ran up to Fluttershy and pulled down on her tail. “Hey!” he shouted, trying to get her attention.
She winced at having her tail tugged on, and turned to look at Caps Lock. “That’s very rude!” she said assertively.
“I don’t need to be polite when I’ve got this much swaaaaaag!” Caps Lock said, brushing his mane back. He then looked back up at Fluttershy angrily. “Why do you hate me?”
Fluttershy looked around nervously. “Um, I don’t hate you. I just don’t like you. You’re a mean, foul-mouth little colt,” Fluttershy said calmly, “but I hope you have a nice day.” And with that, Fluttershy grabbed her shopping basket and began trotting away.
Caps Lock just stood dumbfounded. “Hey, I’m not done with you!” he shouted, galloping toward Fluttershy. The CMC followed close behind and watched as Caps Lock got angrier and angrier. “Don’t lie! Tell me why you hate me!”
This time, Fluttershy offered no response and simply went to the next vegetable stand. She had a normal interaction with the vendor as Caps Lock shouted obscenities over her. The colt’s face was turning red and the CMC watched with amusement. Fluttershy paid for her purchase and turned to go to another stall, but Caps Lock was blocking her.
“It’s because I’m gay, isn’t it! That’s why you hate me!” he shouted.
“I told you I don’t hate you, and I’m very proud of you for being so open with your life choices,” Fluttershy said with a smile.
Caps Lock sputtered angrily. “No, dammit! I’m not gay! ARRRRG!”
“Are you confused?” Fluttershy asked with what was definitely not concern, “I can show you Mr. and Mrs. Bunny again.”
“No! I don’t wanna see two rabbits humping!” Caps Lock shouted. “I wanna hump you!” He began thrusting his pelvis toward Fluttershy and she just looked at him with one eyebrow raised. “Yeah! You want some of this! TASTE MY MOISTURE MISSLE!” Caps Lock shouted.
Fluttershy rolled her eyes and walked away from the deviant colt. She’d had enough of his antics and felt she’d fed him more than she should have.
Caps Lock ground his teeth and stomped on the ground. Of all the easy targets he’d had, why wasn’t this one affected? He was just going to cut his losses and find something else to do, but he turned to see Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle.
“What are you looking at?” he shouted. The fillies looked to each other and said nothing. “Are you deaf? I asked you a question!” Still no response. Caps Lock narrowed his eyes in realization. “Oh! You’re gonna be like that piss-colored pony and ignore me!”
“E’yup,” Apple Bloom said, sounding almost like her brother. The three fillies walked away from Caps Lock, hoping he wouldn’t follow them. But of course, a few moments later they heard—
“Where ya goin’?”
The CMC ignored him.
“You can’t ignore me forever!” Caps Lock shouted.
Forever is a long time and even Caps Lock didn’t have the patience. His feeble attempts at provoking the ponies eventually gave way to straight up screaming. They refused to acknowledge his presence as they went about their daily business, and he quickly went to look for other targets. Soon, the other ponies of Ponyville learned just to ignore Caps Lock, or at the very least, never take anything he said to heart.
If not for Diamond Tiara, Caps Lock likely would have starved to death from the lack of his victims feeding him. Cherilee allowed them to go back and forth during class, just to see which one of them caved first. It was usually Diamond Tiara…but she was learning.
After the Two Mares One Cup incident, Twilight decided she’d had enough internet for the rest of eternity, and destroyed her computer. There was truly a reason Celestia didn’t want her to ever go there. Well…there were many reasons.
Lastly, the CMC did not get their cutie marks in counter-trolling, but no matter how difficult it had been, they learned to never feed a troll.
Stats
Page generated in 0.027 seconds
Total duration
612 users online
885,887 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ah, I recognize those Jeff the Killer screamer links. Word to the wise, if you go to YouTube at this moment, and see a link in a comment with the word "anne" ANYWHERE in the link url, DO NOT click on it.
Leads to a pic of Jeff the Killer with flashing light and screams.
So... Can't beat them, join 'em?
CAPS LOCKS thoughts when he trolls I'm THE. MOST. AWESOMELY. TWISTED. CHAOTIC. ASSHOLE. IN. ALL EQUESTRIA!!!!
Other people's thought SHUT UP
*goes to urbandictionary to look up "Screaming Seagull"* OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOO
From shameless trolling, to scaring foals, to questioning, to scaring mares, to a slice of internet life.
This truly was an epic tale worth reading.
Well, that was amusing. They bested him by ignoring him. Well done.
Woo, they beat the test. They beat Caps Lock.Congrats!
They got 100% on the bitch
Great ending, sad it's over, though. Never did get any backstory on him.
And tears were shed... That was a beautiful tale...
I've learned the internet is crazy. And not to search anything.
3702266
The epilogue will explain why he acts the way he does
Screaming Seagull? Is that like... This?
3702323
WORSE
3702329
Yeah I know. I know all about it...
What happened to Rainbow Dash? Will she ever have foals?
That's... That's it? Really?
DING DING DING TWO HUNDRED LIKES!
I was waiting for the moment when he realised he'd ticked off Discord and nopony would save him. They would only watch.
What about his parents? Don't we get to meet his parents?
That Screaming Seagull thing must hurt like hell.
3702705 trolls don't have parents. if they did why would the let their child be like this
3702231 but if you think about it this would never work on teh internet you might save yourself but you'll unleash 10x the troll-0-meter or what ever. and yes if i ever find any of your comments i.will.reply.to.EVERY.SINGLE.ONE.
I accidentally read abut three chapters of this to my friend's 11 year old kid brother. GODDAMNIT.
Delicious story, though.LIKED AND FAVED.
I see much potential for one shots
3702705 In the Epilogue
3702378 Yes. Many.
3702410 I felt I was clutching at straws the last two chapters, If I didn't end it soon, It was just going to get worse. The Epilogue will make up for the lack-luster final two chapters
3702582 Be flattered, this is to actually pay homage to you, I didn't think you'd actually end up seeing it though
LIKED AND FAVOURITED!!!
Good job on the story, Draft! Really enjoyed it 
I just got inspired for a fanfic. Don't worry; it's a oneshot.
Thus starts the beginning of the end for Cap Locks...
This was a hilarious voice. And you'd think that they'd have known not to feed trolls after they learned,
images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/24300000/Don-t-Feed-the-Parasprited-Trolls-random-24308575-358-302.png
And so thus Caps Lock moved to a new town on a different continent and repeated the process until he became very old over the years of trolling, and on his death bed with his family near him, he'll say: I'm not gonna die! I set this up! and then he'll keel over and die.
Just some idea that popped into my noggin.
So ends Caps Lock's trolling career. Nice work Flutters, CMC, and...Twilight I guess.
This was funny. Looking forward to that epilogue.
OP is obviusly a giant FAG! He found a excuse to put a giant ten foot WEINER CAKE and then tried to DISTRACT you by having it burst a load all over a mare. LUL AS IF! Mare is just one letter away from MALE, and OP is a fag whose obviusly in the closet. Just look at his self insert OC with the TINY DICK and faggotosity. ROFL NUBE
3702981
I knoooooow.