VI: Safe Search: OFF
“Just leave us alone!” Sweetie Belle shouted out from behind Twilight.
“Yeah!” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shouted in unison.
Caps Lock looked at them with relative disinterest and turned his attention to Twilight. “Sup?” he asked casually. “You horny?”
“Excuse me?” Twilight asked in disgust.
“Oh wait!” Caps Lock shouted. “You’re a unicorn! You’re ALWAYS HORNY! LOLOLOLOL!”
The joke went over Twilight’s head and she calmly answered, “If I were even remotely stimulated right now, I would never consider engaging with you. Why, your reproductive organs haven’t even matured yet! Look, look how small it is!”
Twilight laughed as she pointed blatantly at the colt’s always-exposed junk. The fillies didn’t fully understand the humor, but joined in Twilight’s laughter regardless. For the first time since arriving to Ponyville, Caps Lock was the butt of the joke.
“Yeah…well…” Caps Lock said, trying to regain his power. “I still get more action in a week than you do in a month!”
Twilight laughed again. “Self stimulation does not count as ‘action’.”
The CMC watched in amazement as Caps Lock’s smile disappeared from his face. Whatever Twilight had said really upset him.
“You’re…you’re…” Caps Lock stammered, trying to think of a scathing insult, but coming up empty. Twilight approached the colt, but he backed up towards his scooter. He turned on the flashlights and attempted to make his escape.
“What is that ridiculous contraption?” Twilight asked, looking at Caps Lock’s scooter.
“It’s my troll physics scooter,” Caps Lock said angrily. “You’re probably too stupid to understand how it works!”
“I’m smart enough to see it won’t work,” Twilight replied. “Are those magnets meant to attract each other? The force would simply—”
“The front magnet pulls the other one forward!” Caps Lock interrupted. “IT’S SCIENCE!”
“Your logic is highly flawed.”
“YOUR FACE IS HIGHLY FLAWED!”
Scootaloo accidently laughed at Caps Lock’s amazing comeback; she couldn’t help it; it was something she’d never heard before. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom snorted, trying to keep from laughing.
“That…that wasn’t funny,” Twilight said, looking to the girls in confusion.
“Know what else isn’t funny? YOUR FACE!” Caps Lock replied. The CMC laughed once again, and Caps Lock finally regained his trolltastic composure. Twilight felt her face turning red and tried to stay calm.
“Can I PLEASE explain why your magnet propulsion system wouldn’t work?” The front magnet would simply—”
“BLABLAHBLAH SIMPLY!” Caps Lock voiced over her.
“Talking over someone is a common defense mechanism for—”
“BLAHBLAH OFFENSE TECHASMISM! You think you’re so smart? What’s a Blue Waffle?” Caps Lock asked, setting the bait.
Twilight scoffed and replied, “That’s simple; it’s a waffle that is blue.”
“WRONG, YOU RETARD!”
“Are you insulting my intelligence?” Twilight asked angrily. Insulting her intelligence was far worse than inflicting physical harm, and Caps Lock quickly learned this.
“I’m just insulted at how stupid you are. What kind of pony doesn’t know what a Blue Waffle is?”
“Is it some kind of flower?” Sweetie Belle asked curiously. Caps Lock shook his head.
“It’s a fish! Oh, it’s a bird!” Scootaloo guessed. Caps Lock shook his head again and Twilight began levitating several books over to her.
“LOL, why are you looking in books? You probably can’t even read!”
“I most certainly can read!” Twilight shouted. “I’ve read thousands of books, but why haven’t I heard of a Blue Waffle?!”
“Twilight, ah think he’s playin’ a trick on you!” Apple Bloom shouted, tugging on the distracted unicorn. Twilight buried her face deeper into the book, tossing it aside when she failed to find Blue Waffle.
“Learn to internet, noob!” Caps Lock shouted. Before any of the ponies could ask how to internet, the colt sped off into town.
“I’ve never heard of the verb ‘internet’,” Twilight said, bringing three more books to eye level. “Maybe it’s a noun. A proper noun? Hmm…”
“Twilight! Please!” Apple Bloom begged. “You were so close to—”
“I think ‘The Internet’ is one of the things Celestia told me to never inquire about,” Twilight interrupted with her distracted monologue. “She said it was the most dangerous place in Equestria, where even her rule could not touch. Could that colt have come from The Internet?”
“Ugh!” Sweetie Belle moaned. “Come on girls, we have to find Caps Lock!”
“Maybe if we do to him what Twilight did, he’ll stop being so mean!” Scootaloo suggested.
Twilight didn’t even notice the fillies run out the library door, leaving her and Spike alone. The baby dragon had managed to clean off his feet, and began running around, picking up the books Twilight had skimmed through.
“Spike, have you ever heard of the internet?” Twilight asked, looking to her assistant.
The dragon thought for a moment, scratching his chin with his claw. After a moment, he snapped his claws together as a memory came to him. “Remember that dragon migration I went on?”
“Yes. Did you pass through The Internet during it?”
“No, no, no,” Spike said, shaking his head. “There were these teenage dragons talking about it. They said something about computers, and using them to ‘get on the internet’.”
Twilight looked at Spike skeptically. “So you’re saying I can use the computer in the lab to ‘get on the internet’?” she asked.
Spike shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe?”
“Well, it couldn’t hurt to check,” Twilight said, leading the way to the library’s underground laboratory. In the corner was a golden box; the only distinguishing features being a screen and some light bulbs. With the push of a button, the machine whirred to life and the screen lit up.
The screen now displayed a start menu and a few desktop icons. Twilight looked at it inquisitively, wiggling the ball bearing input device attached to the computer. A small, pixilated hoof moved across the screen, and she found she had control over it.
“Why have I never used this before? This is fascinating!” Twilight said, fascinated simply by the computer’s ability to recognize user input. She dragged the hoof over to an icon labeled “Internet Explorer” and waited for something to happen.
“Try pushing some buttons,” Spike suggested, pushing his claw on the mouse. A search engine opened up and Twilight jumped back in surprise. A blank box with a blinking black line was next to the word “SEARCH.”
“Search Blue Waffle,” Twilight commanded. Nothing happened, so Twilight repeated herself louder. “Search BLUE WAFFLE.”
Spike looked at the other strange device connected to the computer and pushed on it. “KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK” appeared in the search box. Twilight looked down at the keyboard and pushed on several of the keys before managing to erase everything. She then typed “BLUE WAFFLE” into the search bar and waited.
“Click Enter,” Spike suggested. Twilight dragged the cursor over and clicked. Slowly, an image began to appear on the screen, and both Twilight and Spike tried to figure out what it was.
“What is that?” Twilight asked, squinting at the screen. More loaded and it became apparent just what a blue waffle was. “OH DEAR CELESTIA!” Twilight shouted, trying not to throw up.
“Twilight, is that—”
“LOOK AWAY, SPIKE!”
“It kinda looks like your—”
Twilight began mashing on the keyboard and clicking on the mouse furiously. The image disappeared and was replaced by a blue screen with white text. The unicorn turned to her assistant and shouted, “SPIKE! GO UPSTAIRS!”
The dragon hesitated, but eventually obeyed, leaving Twilight alone in the laboratory. As soon as she managed to fix the computer, she was going to learn everything she could about the internet.
Stats
Page generated in 0.028 seconds
Total duration
1,040 users online
1,571,838 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Why?!
3646638
I now remember what I'd forgotten...And that's to leave a foot note NOT TO GOOGLE BLUE WAFFLE
*reads warning at end of chapter*
....I'm going to look up blue waffles.
*types in "blue waffles"*
Twilight, you'd almost won...
Blue Waffles? Never heard of, lets see what it is.....OH GOD WHY
this terrifies me yet makes me laugh quick question wouldn't spike be the prince of trolls him mother is the queen of them
My Twilight sense couldn't withstand not knowing ...
I have so much pity on Spike having seen that. And now I have more pity on Twilight going into the one place that shows Aliens that earth has almost no intelligent life. Especially if she goes to a Social Media center or a dating site. I shall hold a eulogy to her innocence later.
Hmm. Well, typing "blue waffle" into Google was... enlightening
Hmmmmm........................ Nope, no searching it.
KYM saved me with Blue Waffles. *sigh of relief
I'm I the only one who reads Caps' voice in Button's voice.
I fell for the blue waffle trick back in grade 7, which was four years ago. It's old news to me
I've never googled blue waffle, and I never will... hopefully.
But this was funny.
Heh blue waffle
I'm gonna call this round a tie
HUEHEHEHEUEHEUE
I remember I showed 2 Girls 1 Cup to my friends at school while they were eating. Good times.
I googled it years ago. Tis a strange picture, indeed.
All Celestia has to do is become indisputable admin, then it will be under her rule. Though I doubt even eternity is long enough to cleanse the internet.
Is Caps Lock a genius? or is he just evil?
dozox.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Blue-Waffles.jpg
What's so bad about that?
Googling blue waffle. Before
after
3648873 i think i thew up a little
Damn, Trollight almost won. Just so close.
Blue waffle...my instant thought is it's a sexual innuendo.
Lel blue waffles. Lel blue screen.
Top lel.
3647979 Despite what everyone says, trolls need to be smart enough to outwit their victim/opponent. So both.
Your mind: lh5.googleusercontent.com/-VelzqUTxUTo/UoAkh7SJF8I/AAAAAAAAEas/Odtfz8WCHhE/w424-h351-no/atomic-bomb-blast-explosion-trollface-troll-face.gif
For those who don't know, a blue waffle is a really, really screwed up, nasty, discolored... uhm... -_- Don't look it up.
3646644 oh god, its so tempting to look it up, but I don't wanna... This fic has taught me things I don't wanna hear about. I dunno what that is... I wanna know, but I don't. HELP!
3691729
3804626
"Blue Waffle" is a shock-site with an image of a mangled, extremely diseased female genitalia. And by "extremely diseased" I mean EXTREMELY DISEASED. So now that your curiosity has been sated, don't look for it. Seriously. Shock-sites also tend to be packed full of computer viruses.
Looked up blue waffle....
So what?
It's a disease.
There are many diseases in the world. This not even a mayor one or even especially nasty.
I've seen nastier stuff as I saw a picture of a woman who was messing with the columbian mafia.
And it seemed like they had an torso only rule.
If you think a blue waffle is nasty, then you ain't seen shit in your life yet and should consider yourself rather lucky that i ternet or life had mercy on you so far.
Dragon
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
CAPS LOCK VS TROLLESTIA
PLEASE TELL ME ITS COMINGr/wooosh
I decided to look it up, here's the first result (don't worry, it's PG, I have no idea what image you guys have been seeing since my internet's safe-search is permanently stuck on)
dictionary.com/e/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/20210114_blueWaffle_1000x700.jpg