//------------------------------// // XI: The Game // Story: CAPS LOCK // by Final Draft //------------------------------// The class greeted Fluttershy and watched as she carried a cage with two bunnies to the front of the class room. She set them down and turned to smile at the students. Cherilee closed the classroom door and walked over to Caps Lock. “You’d better be on your best behavior today,” she whispered to him. He paid her little to no mind as he continued drawing. She glanced at his drawings and rolled her eyes after seeing an over-exaggerated picture of himself with what looked like a fifth leg coming out of his crotch. “Hello everypony,” Fluttershy began, “I’m here to talk about where babies come from. It’s something all you fillies and colts are going to need to know about.” Caps Lock, like many of the students, let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. “How long is this going to take?” he shouted. Fluttershy turned to look at the colt. “It won’t take long,” she said calmly. “If you have any questions, I’ll be happy to answer them.” The pegasus turned back to the class and began explaining the basic differences between colts and fillies. Caps Lock felt the need to shout the slang term for every technical term she listed. The class would laugh, but Fluttershy would simply wait for them to quiet down before continuing. The lesson progressed until Fluttershy got to the part where she had to describe the mechanics of sex. Caps Lock’s hoof shot into the air, and Fluttershy turned to look at him. “Oh, do you have a question?” she asked with interest. “Yeah,” Caps Lock said with a grin. “What’s your favorite position?” Fluttershy began to blush and started stammering, “T-that’s no concern of yours. And today, a-all we’ll be talking about is m-m-missionary.” “Ha! You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” Caps Lock shouted, pointing to Fluttershy. Her expression suddenly changed from flustered, to surprisingly calm. She took two steps toward Caps Lock and looked him right in his eyes. He smiled at her, but it was his expression that faltered. “I’m glad you brought up that word,” she said, loud enough for only the two of them to hear. “Class,” she said, turning around and speaking at her regular volume, “can anypony tell me what a virgin is?” The class looked to each other in confusion, and before Caps Lock could open his mouth, Fluttershy said, “A virgin is a pony that hasn’t had sex yet. This colt here,” she said, putting her hoof out towards Caps Lock, “is a virgin. You should all be virgins at your age.” “Fuck you!” Caps Lock shouted, “I ain’t a virgin! I bang bitches every night!” “Caps Lock! Language!” Cherilee shouted. “Having your virginity is nothing to be ashamed of,” Fluttershy said calmly. “You should wait until you find that special somepony before giving it away.” Caps Lock looked down at his drawing angrily, and began extending the fifth leg he’d given himself. Fluttershy walked back to the caged rabbits and opened the cover of their cage. She carefully removed one of the rabbits, and held it up for the class to see. “This is Mr. Bunny,” she said, nuzzling the creature with her cheek. “He’s going to be helping us understand how mating works.” She carefully placed Mr. Bunny into Mrs. Bunny’s side of the cage and asked the class to gather around. The colts and fillies slowly got up from their seats and walked to the front of the classroom. Caps Lock remained in his seat, adding giant circles onto his drawing’s fifth leg. He listened as the class oooh’d, awww’d, and giggled as Mr. Bunny “wrestled” with Mrs. Bunny. When the rabbits were done, Fluttershy put a sheet over their cage. “In a few months, Mrs. Bunny will have baby bunnies,” Fluttershy explained. She then looked at the student’s faces to confirm they understood her lecture. “Any questions?” “Yeah, right here!” Caps Lock shouted, thrusting his hoof into the air. “Are you gay?” Fluttershy kept her back turned to the colt, and again asked if there were any questions. “Hey!” Caps Lock shouted. “I asked if you’re gaaaaay! Show us how two mares would do it!” “Well class, if you have any questions, you can always ask either Cherilee or me,” Fluttershy said calmly. “I hope you all have a wonderful day and I hope I helped you to understand where foals come from.” As Fluttershy left the classroom, the class clapped their hooves together politely. Caps Lock felt the need to “boo” loudly, but still caught no attention from the pegasus. “I bet she likes it in the butt!” he shouted after the door closed. “Caps Lock,” Cherilee said, putting her hoof against her head, “must you constantly act out?” “Act out? You haven’t seen me act out,” Caps Lock replied. The rest of the day was a nonstop argument between Cherilee and the disruptive colt. He’d bring up religion during science discussion, conspiracies during history, and geography during math. It seemed the further off topic he could get the class, the more accomplished he felt. The CMC watched as their teacher and classmates did nothing but “feed” Caps Lock more and more, until the whole classroom was just a great big argument. At recess, Caps Lock made his rounds on the playground, riling up the isolated groups until they fought amongst themselves. Once the inner fighting began, he’d smile and move onto a new group. “I think Fluttershy is the only pony he’s had no effect on,” Sweetie Belle whispered to her friends. They were hiding under the jungle gym, watching as Caps Lock instigated several fights. Cherilee had all she could do to quell the fighting. “But all she did was ignore him, it’s not like she made fun of him like Twilight did,” Scootaloo said. “Uh, where’d he go?” Apple Bloom asked, looking around the playground. Cherilee was across the playground, trying to separate Snips and Snails after Caps Lock had sent them into a fit. It was the last place they’d seen the colt, and it’s not like he could have gone far. Something wet dripped onto Sweetie Belle’s head and she looked up to see Caps Lock hanging from the monkey bars above them. He smiled and watched as another stream of saliva ran from his tongue and dripped right onto Sweetie Belle’s face. “EW! GROSS!” Sweetie Belle said in disgust. “GO AWAY CAPS LOCK!” “FREE COUNTRY, BIAAAAATCH!” Caps Lock replied. He then turned to the other two fillies. “Now that your older pony pals aren’t here to help you, you’re alllll miiiiiine.” The three fillies got up and walked across the playground toward Cherilee. Caps Lock jumped in front of them and put his hooves out to stop them. “Where are you going? You’re not going to complain to an admin, are you?” he asked. “Only pussies report other players!” The CMC walked around Caps Lock and straight up to Cherilee. She had Snips on one side of her and Snails on the other, and she winced every time either of them would shout at the other. Her expression was devoid of all emotions, and she seemed to look right through the fillies. Before any of them could say anything, Caps Lock shouted, “Don’t ban me, bro! Don’t ban me!” Cherilee looked from Caps Lock, then down to the fillies. “What?” she asked flatly. Eventually, she gave up restraining Snips and Snails, and let them crash into each other. “Uh, are you alright?” Sweetie Belle asked her teacher. “Hmm? Oh, I’m fine,” Cherilee responded lazily. “Do you girls need something?” They could tell their teacher was in no mood for their complaints. It seemed liked Caps Lock had finally got the best of her. Now, instead of dealing with him directly, she had to clean up his aftermath. It wasn’t about who started the fight, it was about who was continuing it. “N-no, we’re fine,” Apple Bloom replied, not wanting to bother her further. She and the others turned to go, only to see Caps Lock smiling and making provocative gestures at them; thrusting his pelvis similar to the way Mr. Bunny had done. The school bell rang and the class returned to their seats. Cherilee was done trying to teach anything for the day, and simply wrote “Quiet Reading” across the board. While the rest of class was busy reading, Caps Lock was busy writing his own book…and reading it aloud. “Then…Caps Lock…took his sword…and killed all the orphans…and puppies…and ugly fillies…and—” “Caps Lock!” Cherilee shouted at last. “It’s QUIET reading! Read QUIETLY!” “Oops, sorry,” he apologized. He lowered his voice and continued on with his riveting novel. “And…then…Caps…Lock…put…his…huge…gigantic…throbbing…” Cherilee stood up and walked to the door while Caps Lock continued listing adjectives for whatever he was describing. She looked right at the class as she pulled down the fire alarm. The siren began wailing and the sprinklers doused freezing water all over the students. “Class, it looks like we’re having a fire drill!” she shouted over the siren. “Gather your things and go home!” The students ran out of the building, shielding their belongings from the water. Cherilee stood by the door to make sure no pony was left behind. The water drenched her mane and she looked very similar to Pinkie Pie on a bad day. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle ran from the building, determined to evade Caps Lock. They sprinted past a couple confused fire fighters and into the town. “Ah don’t think Miss Cherilee can handle too much more of Caps Lock,” Apple Bloom said, shaking the water from her mane. “Then it’s up to us as Cutie Mark Crusaders to stop him!” Scootaloo shouted. “And Fluttershy will help us!” Sweetie Belle added. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo just gave her confused looks. “What?” she asked. “You mean Twilight is gonna help us. All Fluttershy did was ignore him. That’s not going to stop him,” Scootaloo answered. “And if that doesn’t work, we can have mah brother beat him up!” Apple Bloom suggested as they approached the Golden Oaks Library. They knocked on the front door and waited for an answer. It was dark inside the tree, and it didn’t appear either Spike or Twilight were home. Scootaloo began pounding on the door with her hooves and eventually the door swung open on its own free will. “H-hello?” the fillies said into the darkness. Their words echoed around the empty library. They took a few steps in and could hear a distant clicking noise coming from somewhere in the darkness. There was a staircase near one of the bookshelves and an eerie glow was coming from the bottom of it. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom pushed Sweetie Belle ahead of them and forced her to descend the stairs first. “Twilight? Are you there?” Sweetie called down. The clicking noises had intensified, but no response was heard. They reached the bottom step and looked around nervously. Set in the corner, in front of a bright screen, was Twilight Sparkle. “Twilight? It’s Apple Bloom.” “And Scootaloo.” “And Sweetie Belle,” the fillies said, giving their names. “Are you alright?” Twilight turned slowly from the screen to look at her visitors. Her eyes were bloodshot and her mane was a mess. “Hello girls,” she said without blinking. The words came out hoarse, as if she had been deprived of water. “Twilight, what are you doin’ down here?” Apple Bloom asked, approaching the purple unicorn. In the blink of an eye, Twilight had snatched up the filly and held her right up to her face. Her eyes stared unfocused into those of the filly. “Let me tell you…about the internet…”