• Member Since 16th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 7th, 2018

InsertAuthorHere


Give me an eternity, I'll give you an update!

T
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This story is a sequel to Bringing Up Blueblood


Sequel to My Little Alicorn and Bringing Up Blueblood.

It has been almost a year since Luna first uncovered the Arcanus E Draconus and used its dark powers to turn her sister into a filly. Since then, she has become more popular than ever, to the point where the Filly Scouts have invited her to officiate their Jamboree, which is being held in Ponyville this year. At the same time, Celestia wishes to reach closure with the infernal tome, as well as escape from her own growing concerns over her future in Equestria.

Little does Luna know that another force is in Ponyville, looking for revenge. And it might just settle for vengeance by proximity...

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 366 )

2279897
I'm just about to start... How long did it take you to read 11k words? :rainbowhuh:

2279897
what he said, i love sequals to my little alicorn

2279904
if your a fast reader, it takes...5 or so minutes maybe 15

2279921
try reading the hunger games first book in a day, thats insane, but i did it...i shouldnt be proud of that should i? anyway fast readers read 11k words fast

OMG A SEQUEL TO THE FIC THAT GOT ME INTO FICS?!?! YES PLEASE.:rainbowkiss:

Ah yes, turnabout is fair play, Luna.

Looks like a good beginning. And I've gone ahead and added it to Twilight's Library, though whoever submitted it to the Incoming folder didn't really need to. I generally add new fanfics by InsertAuthorHere to Twilight's Library anyways...

Well.... buck.

Luna just doesn't know what went wrong.:derpytongue2:

Great start, I especially liked the Scootaloo & Lofty rivalry.

Someone remind me, does Ribbon still have a copy of Kuchen in her mind? I don't remember if it was discovered and dealt with by the end of Bringing Up Blueblood.

2280142
I'm pretty sure Kuchen is still in her mind. I think it was the last line of BUB that confirmed it.

2280198 Thanks, I thought he was, but didn't remember completely for certain.

Where did I leave that picture again? Ah, got it!
i.imgur.com/ocGSs.png

What goes around comes around?

Canterlot we have a problem over XD. Great chapter I'm looking forward to the next update.

They must have the counter curse to memory, or at least written down, right? It's extremely important, and they've used it a few times since the first MLA.

...How did that thing go again? Damn it's been awhile.

The guard wanted to say something, but for the sake of his kids, wife and pension, wisely decided to keep his snout shut.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... What did he want to say? :derpytongue2:

Well, at least they know the counterspell this time...

Looks like this is going to be an interesting fic!

Lofty vs Scootaloo
I have been waiting for this:pinkiehappy:

I imagine it was all Celestia who did this...

2279912

It usually takes me about an hour to read 11k words. How the fu*Buy some apples!* does it take 5 to 15 minutes to read this.

Please tell me you're joking, right?

You realize that at some point in this fic you have to somehow maneuver Woona into a cartographer's cap.

Pretty Princess powers vs Forbidden magics.. GO!

2281025
Same... about 45mins if i can keep my ADD to a minimum :twilightsmile:

Blueblood scoffed. What, with cookies and friendship stories?
“How about a rousing round of Kumbayah?”

not even Blueblood at his worst deserves that soulless torture

YAY for filly Luna! she's adorable

I could hug you for this

2280541 Yes, everything will be solved and all good soon. No interesting story here.

what are your thoughts on being featured?

2281789

I've been featured before, so nothing really new there. I think it's the first time I made it to the top, though.

Twilight Sparkle, as my personal student, I believe it will be you who finishes this task. But whatever any of you do, you cannot speak a word of this to anypony else. Nopony can see what this is, nor can they know what we wish for Twilight to accomplish. Understood?

Well this doesn't bode well.

(one of those ones about the sparkly vamponies)

Ah, good, no loss, then.

The princess' eyes doubled, then tripled in size as she took in what was having them so troubled.

That must have been adorable to behold.

Can't wait for more!

2279927 Bitch please, try Harry Potter and The Order of the Pheonix in one day.

Nicely done. I'm hooked.

2282352
You say that as if that's supposed to be impressive. :rainbowwild:

Very good except for some grammar problems.
First when ti came to the non-aristocratic world you need to switch the I and the t in it
Second was that you forgot to put in own when Apple Bloom said they had their own agenda

2282791 For a 2nd grader, it was.
I'm serious. I did that in 2nd grade within the school day.

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh
: yay!

2282932
That's actually impressive, though I do wonder how your reading comprehension was. I'd imagine something fairly low. Doesn't make it any less impressive, though. But without that clarification, what you said really wasn't all that impressive...

2282352 Bitch please, try reading The Divine Comedy in one day! >:D

2282961

Doubt I'm going to be believed here, but I read the entire Harry Potter series in one day. This chapter takes me about 6 minutes to read, little less.

I feel weird for following you yet not really reading your fics. I haven't read the prequels, but I think I get what's going on. I'm liking the humor a lot. It's not "lol" funny, but it definitely gives life to the story and characters (like the part with the guard, and Blueblood on the train with the singing children).

One thing that really bothered me, though was this passage:

"Twilight's eyes locked themselves upon the accursed book. The vile tome seemed to...just sit there, throbbing, ever-hateful in its composition and purpose. But that was nothing compared to the even more throbbing, ever-hateful gaze of Princess Celestia, waiting for a moment of weakness, wanting her to turn this down so she could disown her. As much as Twilight wanted to fight off those fears, they continued to ring through her mind with every waking moment. After all, she was just a regular old Unicorn and she was..."

Since you had been using omniscient narration, this initially gave me the impression that Celestia was actually hating on Twilight instead of the impression that this was only what Twilight was thinking. Just be careful there. Otherwise, I'm gonna follow this, and hopefully stay up to date.

2283008 That is really hard to believe... I mean, I used to read a lot and even I couldn't do that. Then again, I've always have had stuff that stopped me from doing nothing but read through whole days entirely.

So I guess now is when I post some kind of feedback or something. I always hate trying to come up with what to say about 10,000+ word chapters; I can never figure out where to start, doubly so today, because I've got a major critique to bring up, but would prefer to lead with something more positive.

I really did over all enjoy this chapter. Celestia's increasing unsubtle jealousy, Twilight's typical mentor paranoia, and of course this version of Blueblood that doesn't inspire an undying urge to throttle his sorry flank. You also did a pretty good job capturing Pinkie, although once the Arcanus E Draconus came into play the entire narrative took an INTENSELY disturbing shift. I expect that was the point, but it still felt a bit incongruous as I don't recall the characters ever treating the book as a source of such extreme malevolent malice back in MLA.

Anyway, onto my more serious critique, something that goes beyond this one fic...

----------------

Loved the fillies showing off their new uniforms, accept for one problem. My first thought was this is so cute, I wish I had the artistic talent to draw a picture of them all... and that's when I realized -- I had no clue what any of them actually looked like. Well, accept for lofty, but I'm not sure even that is accurate...

...except without the bow. The only description I can recall of her is that she's a yellow pegasus filly. I probably added in the red mane to give her a stronger visual resemblance to her mother. I even tend to hear her dialogue read in Michelle Creber's voice (though without Apple Bloom's country accent), all the more so when she's doing those long 'nooooows' like in this chapter.

Anyway, so I went back to BUB and after a quick parsing came up with the following

• Ribbon: blue unicorn filly
• Gusty: white unicorn filly
• Buttons: pinkish-lavender unicorn filly

Cue another surprised reaction on my part because I'd completely forgotten they were all unicorns. Pretty sure I read most of BUB picturing Gusty as a pegasus (when I wasn't forgetting she existed in the first place), and I could have sworn that one of Buttons or Ribbon was an earth pony (don't ask which, I've already said before I tended to get those two mixed up from scene to scene).

All that aside, I find myself still poorly able to visualize these ponies. I'm assuming those are all supposed to be their coat colors, but I'm left clueless as to what color or cut their manes are; it'd be nice to know what color their eyes are too. Maybe if I went back and read BUB all the way through I'd get the answer to those questions, but I think the very limited physical descriptions in their introductory scene was a big reason why these three just never clicked for me.

Their personalities might have been distinct, but without a clear mental image by which to visualize them, they spent most of the fic as little more than disembodied voices that just sort of orbited around Lofty and Blueblood.

It's one thing to skip out on describing the characters we already know from the show, but OCs --especially those meant to be prominent characters-- need a strong and detailed description. It also helps if those descriptive details are repeated every so often. Not necessarily the whole thing every time, but just bits and pieces, if only to help reinforce and keep the image fresh in the reader's mind.

----------------

Oh, and one more thing, though this is just a minor quibble, barely worth mentioning.

The recent addition of a train station allowed for more adventurous ponies to strike out to the bigger cities,

Umm... actually the train station appeared all the way back in Granny Smith's flashback about the town being founded. It's cool and all if your Ponyville is different though, but it should be an intentional choice, not an accidental one, so I felt the need to bring that detail to you attention.

2283231

Well, I...

I...

Can't argue with that. I screwed up bad this time. :fluttershyouch: I just...really suck at making descriptions of characters work. Sorry.

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