• Member Since 7th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 20th, 2015

Insert Pen Name

I'm a guy who writes about ponies. Not much else to say at the moment.Also, all my stuff is featured on Equestria Daily, so you know it's legit!


It's winter in Ponyville, and Diamond Tiara is queen of the Hill. Can the Cutie-Mark Crusaders cast her from her snowy fortress?

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 73 )

Oh, Pinkie. :unsuresweetie:

I don't always thumb up a fic with just one chapter, but when I do, it's because it is hilarious (poor Pinkie!) with plenty of references (Sweetie's suggestion) and a great incoming conflict.

“I was thinking we could march all around the Hill a bunch of times,with trumpets and stuff,and then shout really loud at the top of our lungs!” suggested Sweetie Belle.

We hath observed what thou hast performed here.

good job!! deserved an EQD spot!!


Damn Pinks i'm 26 way to rub it in....

Really loving this more plz.

“Twenty-two...” she said finally. “I’m twenty-two years old. Wow, didn’t see that one coming.”

:rainbowlaugh: Oh Pinkie.

Sweetie Beels isn't a dictionary, she's apparently a bible for that reference. :unsuresweetie:

You have my attention.
Good to see you turned that 'dictionary joke' on its head. I personally found it funny the first time, but seeing people spam it like retards always ruins a joke.

Very good. It could almost be a real episode. Everypony was perfectly in carecter.

LOL, this is normandy landings

also FIRST

Ah, it's always good to see the perpetual conflict between Diamond Tiara and the Cutie Mark Crusaders that doesn't just involve the CMC getting one up on her. From the show we see that the CMC aren't really all that popular, and that DT maintains a lot of influence over the other foals, which we're really getting to see here. So good job all around on keeping to the subtle nuances of the show, can't wait to see DT get what's coming to her!

Pip remains best colt, Twist gets points for being adorably nerdy, and Chowder retains his swag.

If you're interested in putting musical numbers to this, I highly recommend the foals sing this while attacking the fort:

I wanth cake! :twistnerd:

This is very amusing.

Its nice to see I'm not the only one who thinks that the Mane 6 are in their early 20s. I loved the Bible story reference, got it immediately:rainbowkiss:.

Its like 'The Guns of Navarone', which means Sweetie Bell is Gregory Peck, Applebloom is David Niven, and Scootaloo is Anthony Quinn.

This is adorably playful. We don't get enough of these kind of fics. The slice of life kind ramped up with cartoon silliness, which is just what the show is built for... Work a musical number in and u got yourself a damn good episode right here.

Pretty sure [InsertPenNameHere] wins a award for "most consistently enjoyable body of work". Seriously dude, love your style. Its humorous, filled with levity, and damn are you writing these characters just great. You could do a whole freaking CMC series of stories the way you write these three so damn well. Its almost got a sandlot quality to it.

Ah, the violence never ends.


go pip

also great final battle, would love these folks in the Royal Guard

Comment posted by Insert Pen Name deleted Mar 16th, 2013

“Ugh, this is getting way too cheesy,” groaned Scootaloo. “Can we go back to senseless violence now?”

Best quote ever.

This was a pretty good story, almost episode-like in a sense. I enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

This was adorable and funny. Loved it!


and at least one young colt loudly proclaimed to all who would listen that it was an experimental effort to build an army of deranged mutant killer monster snow-goons.

Did this colt run around all day with a stuffed tiger, act as though he had a time machine in a cardboard box, and have a mane that managed to stay spiky no matter what condition the rest of him was in?

The snowball sailed high overhead and neatly struck one of the defending colts, who promptly lost his balance and fell from his perch with a cliched scream.

The Willheim Scream perhaps?

War... War never changes.

Oh, this chapter... All the chapters, actually.
Everyone already pointed out the three things I wanted to (except the fife of indeterminate origin. That amused me) so... Yeah. I was greatly amused.

That was just fantastic.

Ah, the joys of youth. Think I'm going to go out in the driveway and ambush one of my kids with a snowball this evening....

lol silverspoon ran off lol i thought maybe scootaloo and sweetie belle woulda at least tackled her

You should make a sequel about a giant mud pile or tree fort!

yes this brings back memories. was a lieutenet commander in my own snow fort back in the 4th grade. good times, good times.:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::yay::raritywink:

Very cute, i approve

This. Is. Adorable.

I have no other words. (Well, there's the slight issue that the party cannon subplot in act two doesn't have payoff at the end. That's a nitpick.) This is just great. Start to finish.

This is amazing on so many levels; it PERFECTLY emulates the hilarious style of the show, especially with Pinkie.

Also, DAT Bible reference. :3

There needs to be more like this.

Oh god, this story is impossibly good so far. I get chills from the dramatic, emotional war scenes, yet at the same time I'm gigglign about the fact that it's all melodrama of snowball fights. This is seriously hilarious so far.

“Hmmm, about six minutes,” answered Pinkie with a shrug. “You girls really should start panning to the left more often.”

“Twenty-two...” she said finally. “I’m twenty-two years old. Wow, didn’t see that one coming.”
Can't say I saw that coming either. Hilarious. XD

Truly a tale of heroes

Twist proposed moving single file to hide their numbers

So Twist is a Sandpony?

Love the Calvin and Hobbes reference! :twilightsmile:

Everyone, be amazed as you look deeper into the definition that is indeed...A "Good" Fic. :unsuresweetie:

See what I did there with the Sweetie Belle face.....? I'm a complete loser. :facehoof:

I love your siege of Jericho reference; some reverence, though, please.
Is there some sort of hidden moral in Pinkie's outrage at the constant warfare and the hogging of Cranberry Hill? I appreciate that too, even if I read it in.
"It's all my fault, boys." - General Robert E. Lee.


“So, which side should we attack from, then?” asked Rumble.
“Um... why not both?” suggested Pip.
“Both,” repeated Rumble. “Both. That is brilliant. This kid is a tactical genius,”

congratulations pip, you're the new creed :twilightsmile:

there are no words..... :rainbowkiss:

seriously, great job Insert pen name, always love these kinds of stories, and you honestly hit this one right out of the park

Oh my god that was freaking awesome! Seriosuly how dose this only have 187 likes, it should have way more, have a like and a favourite from me

I am sad to say I can not relate. I live in a place where it never snows:fluttercry:.
Although I loved the story and wish I could have had this childhood.


Wow. I've had this same general idea for a story for about two years now, but I can't write to save my life. I'm glad for that, actually; this is a thousand times funnier than whatever I'd have done. I don't think I've stopped smiling once, so far. Nicely done, sir.

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