The Fight for Cranberry Hill
Part III
A FiM fic by (Insert Pen Name)
High on the summit of Cranberry Hill, a blue colt looked out over the war-torn field, keeping watch for any sign of the enemy. He had been at this post for the past hour now, and the longer he stared, the more perplexed and frustrated he became with what he saw. Finally, he could bear it no longer, and called to his companion, who was napping comfortably in a nearby nook in the wall.
“Hey, Snails? Snails!”
“Ugh?”
“Get over here. Something’s not right.”
“Ugh,” grumbled Snails, as he ambled groggily over. “What is it?”
“Look,” said Snips, gesturing out over the field.
Snails looked.
“I don’t see anything,” he said at last.
“That’s the point!” exclaimed Snips.
Snails frowned.
“Uh, Snips, are you okay?”
“Look again,” groaned Snips. “What don’t you see?”
“I don’t see a lot of things.”
“Yeah, okay, but who don’t you see either?”
Snails blinked.
“I don’t see anypony.”
“Exactly! I haven’t seen anypony down there all morning,” said Snips.
“Nopony?”
“Nopony!”
The two shared a pensive pause.
“We should probably tell Diamond Tiara, huh?” suggested Snips.
“Yeah, maybe... no, wait, what if it turns out to be a fluke, and she gets mad at us again? Remember what she said last time?”
Snips gulped. The two colts each shot a sideways glance at the fort’s super-sized slingshot, each noting how closely the sling’s cup (which consisted of two sewn-together baseball mitts) suddenly seemed to resemble a seat...
“But, what if it’s not a fluke, and she gets mad at us for not telling her?” countered Snips.
An intense silence followed as the two colts debated their options. Then, as one, they each turned and yelled for their crowned commandress.
* * *
From the wooded thicket behind the trenches, safely concealed by the snow-encrusted underbrush, Major Rumble peered out intently at Cranberry Hill. After a few moments’ observation, he turned back to where his loyal troops sat huddled in a nearby gully.
“Alright troops, this is it,” said Rumble anxiously. “Time to put our money where our mouth is. Corporal Pipsqueak! Form your troops into an assault party and get them onto one of the enemy’s flanks.”
“Any pawticulaw one?” asked Pip.
“Use your initiative, Pipsqueak,” smiled Rumble. “You don’t want to stay a corporal the whole war, do you? Lieutenant Applebloom, you’ll do the same with the other flank.”
“Roger that,” nodded Applebloom.
“You’ve both got your walkie-talkies,” continued Rumble. “Keep behind the treeline, and wait for my signal before moving on the Hill. Any questions?”
“Yeah, what are you and the rest gonna be doin’?” asked Applebloom.
Rumble grinned.
“We’ll be providing the distraction. Now move it out! Double time!”
* * *
“Okay, what is so important that you two morons had to interrupt my pedicure?” demanded Diamond Tiara as Snips and Snails cringed at the foot of her frozen throne.
“There’s something weird going on, ma’am,” replied Snails. “You know how you told us to keep a lookout for enemy troops?”
“Yes...” said Diamond Tiara impatiently.
“Well, there aren’t any enemy troops to look out for,” explained Snips hastily.
“What?” asked Silver Spoon.
“Yep, we’ve been on lookout all morning. Nothing,” nodded Snails.
Diamond Tiara exchanged a curious glance with her friend, then turned back to face them with narrowed eyes.
“Show me.”
The four foals sprinted across the fort to the forward bastion where Snips and Snails had been on watch.
“There, see. Nopony,” said Snips without looking himself.
“Nopony at all, huh,” deadpanned Silver Spoon.
“Yep.”
“Then what’s that?” she asked, pointing down at the field below.
Snips and Snails blinked once, then nearly threw themselves against the battlements. Six foals were busily milling about outside the trenches, hastily rolling snow into larger boulders.
“What the– ? But they weren’t there a minute ago!” protested Snips.
“Sure, they weren’t,” groaned Diamond Tiara. “Honestly, Silver, why do we bother with these dumb boys?”
“I dunno,” replied Silver Spoon with a shrug. “They do seem to respond well to a dominant female leader.”
“I suppose there is that, yes,” Diamond Tiara nodded in agreement.
“Hey, uh, ma’am?” asked Snails timidly.
The prissy pink filly let out a derisive sigh.
“Yes, what is it?”
“Uh, maybe you should come see what they’re doing down there,” said Snails.
Rolling her eyes, Diamond Tiara turned to look back out at the field, and was surprised to find herself cocking her head in bewilderment.
“Are they making... snowponies?”
* * *
“Uh, why are we making snowponies, sir?” asked Chowder as he hefted a heavy ball of snow onto his back.
“It’s our distraction,” replied Rumble. “We need to draw their attention while Pip and Applebloom circle around.”
“Yeah, that I get, but why snowponies?” asked Chowder.
“Well, look at it this way: if you were up there, and you saw the enemy down here suddenly just building snowponies for no apparent reason, what would you think?” asked Rumble.
“I’d think something was up, I guess,” answered Chowder.
“Exactly. Something worth keeping an eye on, right?”
“I guess.”
“So, we keep building snowponies, and while they’re up there trying to figure out what our deal is, Pipsqueak and Applebloom will have the element of surprise.”
“What if they just start shooting at us?” asked Chowder.
“Even better!” said Rumble with a grin. “Then it’s a game for them, and now they’re even more distracted! It’s called psychological warfare, Captain. Look into it.”
Chowder nodded thoughtfully.
“I gotta say, you’ve got this all thought out.”
“That’s why I’m the Major,” said Rumble with a smug grin.
* * *
Back up on Cranberry Hill, a small crowd had gathered into the front bastion to watch the activity down below. Several snowponies had been erected already, with several more soon to come. Theories had already begun to circulate as to the purpose of this activity. Some opined that it was simply a misguided case of R-and-R, others proposed that they were some sort of decoys, and at least one young colt loudly proclaimed to all who would listen that it was an experimental effort to build an army of deranged mutant killer monster snow-goons.
“What do you think, Silver?” asked Diamond Tiara, observing the ponies below through a purple pair of toy opera glasses.
“I think they’re definitely up to something,” murmured Silver. “I have no idea what, but it’s something...”
“Agreed...” nodded Diamond Tiara. “Let’s shoot at it! Snips! Snails! Tell the boys to get the slingshot ready!”
* * *
“You know, I’ve been wondering, sir...” began Shady as he and Rumble put the finishing touches on yet another snowpony. “If you’re in charge, how come call yourself Major instead of General or Commander?”
“Just sounds cooler that way,” explained Rumble with a shrug. “I mean, ‘General Rumble’? Sounds like a crowded room or something. But ‘Major Rumble’, now there’s a name that sounds like trouble! Though ‘Commander Rumble does have a ring to it...”
“Maybe you can give yourself a promotion after we take the Hill,” suggested Shady.
“Yeah, I just might. Heck, we should give promotions for everypony!”
“Oh, oh, I wanna be Lance-Corporal!” yelled Chowder.
“Uh, isn’t that lower than Captain?” asked Shady. “Like, a lot lower?”
“Who cares, it sounds way awesomer!”
On this point there was consensus.
“How’re things looking on the Hill, Lance-Corporal?” asked Rumble.
Before Chowder could answer, there came a sudden scream from the other foals as one of the snowponies seemingly exploded in a shower of frosty powder. Jubilant cheers from up on the Hill quickly confirmed what everypony already realised.
“I think we got their attention,” said Chowder anxiously. “Incoming!”
* * *
Meanwhile, far off to the side of the field, three pairs of eyes watched intently from the cover of the treeline. Their owners remained perfectly still, with the exception of the one filly who had somehow failed to derive any tactical lessons from their previous action.
“Would ya keep still?” Applebloom whispered harshly.
“Sorry, it’s just this thing won’t stay put,” replied Scootaloo as she adjusted her stolen kepi for the forty-third time that day.
“Why are you even still wearing it?” asked Sweetie Belle. “I mean, it did sort of get you creamed the other day.”
“Hey, I don’t call you out on your fashion statements,” snapped Scootaloo.
“Quiet! Both of ya,” hissed Applebloom. “We need to be ready when Rumble gives us the signal. Sweetie Belle, ya see anypony up there?”
From their viewpoint, it seemed as though everypony in the fort had crowded into the front bastion to watch the shooting gallery below. The walls nearest to them appeared completely undefended; with a little luck, they could take half the fort before the enemy even knew they were there.
Applebloom turned to regard the rest of her crew. In addition to herself and her fellow Crusaders, Twist, Dinky, Pina, Button, and Archer were lying in wait for Rumble’s signal. Not a word was spoken between them as they steeled themselves for the battle to come.
A sudden crackling broke the silence.
“Okay guys, this is– Ah! Crap, that almost hit me... Sorry about that. Anyway, sounding the charge in thirty seconds! Move fast, get up that hill, and get the job done! Good luck up there.”
“Alright, troops,” said Applebloom. “You heard the colt. Keep movin’, and we’ll get through this, no proble– Oh, ya gotta be kiddin’ me!”
Up on the Hill, two fillies had just appeared at the near walls, having apparently grown bored with the spectacle down below. They stood idly chatting with their forelegs resting on the parapet, so far oblivious to the band of misfits hiding across the field.
“Now what do we do?” asked Sweetie Belle in a panicked whisper. “They’ll see us for sure!”
Before Applebloom could muster a response, the radio squawked back to life.
“Now! Go, go, go!”
For a split-second, Applebloom found herself at a complete loss for what to do. Scootaloo, on the other hoof, was experiencing a rare moment of Rainbow Dash-style clarity.
“Cheee-aaarge!!!” she cried.
And that’s exactly what everypony did.
To her credit, the two fillies on the wall were very much surprised.
“Keep movin’!” yelled Applebloom as they ran across the open field. “Don’t stop for anythin’!”
No sooner had she said this when a snowball whizzed past her ear and smashed poor Pina in the face.
“We’re under fire!” cried Scootaloo.
“Spread out!” ordered Applebloom, as a full-fledged volley rained down all around them. “Don’t give ‘em a target!”
By this point, at least half-a-dozen other foals had come to the aid of the two fillies on the wall. Despite the ferocity of their onslaught, however, Applebloom and her team somehow managed to make the final few treacherous metres to the base of the Hill.
“What now, Applebloom?” asked Sweetie Belle as they flattened themselves against the slope.
“I’m thinkin’, I’m thinkin’, I’m–”
Her train of thought was rudely interrupted by Button taking a snowball to the top of the head.
“Pony down! Pony down!” shrieked Dinky.
Several more near-misses followed. Looking up, Applebloom could see the enemy defenders firing down at them. The Hill was steeper here, however, and so in order to gain a good angle, the foals in the fort were forced to expose themselves by leaning out over the edge of the wall. Sweetie Belle noticed this as well, and quickly formed an idea...
“Cover me,” she said before rushing back out into the open.
“Sweetie Belle! What’re you–?”
In a flurry of dexterous motion, Sweetie Belle whipped her scarf from her head, folded it into a sling, loaded a snowball into its crook, gripped both ends in her teeth, and swung it in a wide arc over her head before letting one end loose. The snowball sailed high overhead and neatly struck one of the defending colts, who promptly lost his balance and fell from his perch with a cliched scream.
“Quick! Everypony return fire!” shouted Applebloom. “We gotta help Sweetie Belle!”
Nopony needed to be told twice. Caught out in the open as they were, it was the foals on the wall who now found themselves scrambling for cover. Seizing on this opportunity, Applebloom turned to the rest of her team.
“Now’s our chance! Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, with me! Everypony else, keep up the pressure!”
While Dinky, Twist, and Archer maintained their suppressive volleys, the three Crusaders launched themselves up the Hill, picking their way up the slippery ledges until they reached a narrow shelf just below the right flank of the bastion.
“Ready, girls?” whispered Applebloom as they quickly gathered up what ammunition they could.
“Now or never,” breathed Scootaloo. “Let’s do this!”
With a girlish yell, the three fillies burst from their hiding place and began bombarding the surprised enemy. Within seconds, the bastion had been entirely cleared; those who hadn’t fallen to the Crusaders’ masterful manoeuvre had retreated back into the main hub of the fort.
“Nithe one, Applebloom!” cheered Twist as she and the others hurried up to regroup.
“It’s not over yet, Twist,” said Applebloom. “And besides, I couldn’t a’ done it without you two girls,” she added, putting a foreleg around each of her fellow Crusaders.
“That’s because we’re a team,” declared Sweetie Belle. “And teammates always work together. Right, Scootaloo?”
“Ugh, this is getting way too cheesy,” groaned Scootaloo. “Can we go back to senseless violence now?”
By this point, the battle in the fort centre had degenerated into a confused melee. Pipsqueak’s forces had already managed to force their way inside, followed closely by Rumble and his crew, and most of the foals had forsaken their snowballs in favour of half-hearted hoofticuffs and awkward attempts at wrestling. The notorious slingshot had been scuttled; only the two posts remained stuck in the snow, the cup and bungies no doubt borne away by one of the many colts and fillies fleeing from the fort. Applebloom didn’t care about any of that, though. She had fatter hay to fry...
“Everypony get in there!” she shouted. “And nopony lay a hoof on Diamond Tiara; she’s mine...”
With that said, Applebloom plunged headfirst into the fray, dodging stray snowballs, inspiring her comrades, and generally making life difficult for anypony who stood in her way. She cared not when Silver Spoon broke down and ran rather than face her hoof-to-hoof, nor did she pay any heed when Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle triumphantly pulled down that hated mauve banner. All that mattered was the snooty pink filly who now stood trembling before her, snowball in hoof.
Diamond Tiara was clearly not having a good day. Her mane was all askew, her fluffy, boa-like scarf was a tangled mess, and her face was creased with panic as she glared as Applebloom with equal parts scorn and desperation.
“Sorry, Diamond Tiara, looks like you lose this time,” grinned Applebloom.
“I don’t lose!” spat Diamond Tiara. “I never lose! Ponies like me do not lose to snivelling little blank-flanks like you!”
“In that case, I’d like to start a new custom.”
“Custom this, freak!!!”
With an enraged shriek, Diamond Tiara reared up and hurled her snowball with all her might at Applebloom’s head. Applebloom dodged in the nick of time, spun on her hoof, did a kung-fu kick just for awesome, and threw her own snowball straight at her foe. The frozen projectile struck Diamond Tiara square in the chest, and the defeated filly fell back with such force that her tiara was thrown from her brow and came to an ominous slow-motion stop.
“Now you know what a real winner looks like,” said Applebloom.
As if on cue, a tremendous shout of applause rose up in response. As Applebloom finally looked around, she saw all her schoolyard friends and comrades piled into the fort, cheering and jumping for joy. Before she could react, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo rushed up to her, catching her in a crushing three-way victory hug, everypony else laughed and danced and sang for their success. The battle was over. Diamond Tiara (who took this opportunity to quietly skulk away) was defeated.
Cranberry Hill was theirs at last.
“Well done, Applebloom,” said Rumble, almost teary eyed from taking a spray of slush to the face. “And you too, Corporal Pipsqueak. Heck, all of you guys and gals did awesome today! This battle will go down in schoolyard history as the day we took Cranberry Hill!”
“Yay!!!” cheered an unexpected voice from above.
“Huh?”
All eyes immediately looked up in search of the source of the cheer. It was therefore much to everypony’s alarm when a certain pink pony suddenly burst up from the ground in a shower of confetti and streamers, bearing a large platter of iced vanilla cupcakes.
“Hi, everypony!” she chirped cheerfully. “Hope you don’t mind me dropping in!”
“But you just came in through the–”
“It was a euphemism,” said Pinkie Pie bluntly.
“Pinkie Pie?! What’re you doin’ here?” asked Applebloom. “How long’ve you been in that hole?”
“Mmmm... about five minutes,” said Pinkie with a shrug.
“Weren’t we all fighting here then?” asked Rumble, visibly confused.
“Yeah, but don’t worry. You weren’t in my way or anything. So, who wants cupcakes!”
Naturally, everypony did.
“But I don’t get it,” continued Applebloom. “What’s all this for?”
“Why, it’s a liberty party!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie, as a fife of indeterminate origin began playing in the background. “We’re here to celebrate the day you brave little ponies liberated this hill from the mean old yoke of tyranny in the name of free fillies and colts everywhere! Freedom! Yeah!”
Nopony was really sure what to make of that.
“So what’re we going to now, huh?” asked Pinkie Pie excitedly. “Are we going to make snowponies? We should make snowponies! Or are we going to go sliding now? We should go sliding now! Or maybe we could–”
“Enemy counter-attack!” yelled Chowder suddenly. “Advancing on our front!”
Everypony immediately hurried to the rear bastion, which had now become the front, and looked out into the other side of the field. It appeared as though the enemy had regrouped, and was now charging back towards Cranberry Hill. Pinkie Pie’s excited smile faded.
“Sorry, Pinkie Pie,” said Applebloom. “But it looks like it’s our turn now!”
“Alright, now we get a real fight!” laughed Scootaloo.
“This is even better than last year’s war!” added Sweetie Belle.
Pinkie Pie was completely dumbfounded.
“But... what about getting along, and having fun together, and all that?” she asked quietly.
“Oh we’ll get to that,” Applebloom reassured her. “When the snow melts. But for now, we got ourselves a war to win...”
~FIN~
“Inspired by the legally-harvested memories of a hundred childhoods. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.” - the author