• Member Since 7th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 20th, 2015

Insert Pen Name

I'm a guy who writes about ponies. Not much else to say at the moment.Also, all my stuff is featured on Equestria Daily, so you know it's legit!


Cider season is cut short when Ponyville is selected to take part in a "noble experiment", an experiment infamously known as prohibition! With the financial welfare of Sweet Apple Acres in jeopardy, and scores of thirsty ponies in need of relief, it doesn't take long for one opportunistic little filly to take matters into her own hooves...

Obviously inspired by the Simpsons episode "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment". So take it with a grain of salt.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 33 )

I want to read this purely based on the premise. This promises to be highly amusing. :pinkiegasp::trollestia:

I gotta say
This is pretty awesome


If you need help with french slang, i can help, especially with Québec french slang.

i strongly suggest you switch "Gendarmes" with "les boeufs"

It would give a line like this "Tabarnac, c'est les boeufs!"

trust me, the french would be much more closer to the common québec and france slang

I love this idea, and I love its delivery.

Fantastic :pinkiehappy:

636160 I might just do that, thanks. On that note, how did Horte go from being a high-class waiter to an angry French-Canadian? Headcanon is a weird thing...

who gives a crud. its funnier that way XD

“I’ll be honest with you Twilight Sparkle; this whole ‘prohibition’ ordeal was just a little front to distract the nobility while we reaffirmed the same-sex marriage law.”


Can't...breathe! :rainbowlaugh:

This is really funny, on to chapter 2!

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: YES!!! That was hilarious. Excuse me, I need to go watch that Simpsons episode again.


Seriously? That the nobility would require said distraction? And here I was thinking the Princesses were absolute rulers...

692032 I like to imagine that Equestia is a constitutional monarchy.

692076 Meh. constiutional or not, the Princesses have the force of presence enough to push through any legislation without resorting to political chicanery. If nobles opposed passage in the beginning, they'll still notice the passage afterwards; pulling off a stunt like this won't be enough.


692221 Hold on, are we actually arguing the nuances of friggin' pony politics? You need a hobby. I recommend baking; chicks dig guys who can bake. :ajsmug:

692650 LOL. I do have hobbies. One of them just happens to be sassing people online. :derpytongue2:

Can't say I particularly like baking (the real-hardcore-type-not-buy-stuff-from-supermarket-and-stick-in-oven); takes too much time. It's a-campin' and marksmanship for me. :pinkiehappy:

Anyway. I suppose you disagree with my particular take on pony politics? Your serve.

Bwahaha love the references to America's prohibition such as the alcohol causing blindness and bathtub booze, speakeasys and such. :derpytongue2:

:rainbowlaugh: That was GREAT!

:applejackconfused: That was brilliant.

Public nudity?! They don't wear clothes! :rainbowlaugh:

Good one. :trollestia:

847796 Wow... somebody finally got that one. :yay:

Okay, so normally, "LOL" isn't meant literally. But when I read this...

“Yes, well, my sister and I figured it was best to quit while we were ahead,” chuckled Luna. “I’ll be honest with you Twilight Sparkle; this whole ‘prohibition’ ordeal was just a little front to distract the nobility while we reaffirmed the same-sex marriage law.”

I was, in fact, laughing out loud! It would have been funny even if I knew it were coming (I suppose it's from the Simpson's episode?) but catching me completely off guard, it was absolutely hilarious. :pinkiehappy:

Also, I appreciated Spike's "rousing" speech about his book club! That sounds like the kind of book club I would enjoy!

847874 And while we're on the subject, has anybody noticed the part where stallions didn't get suffrage rights until 1917?:derpyderp2:

Yeah, I definitely snickered at that. I have to admit, though, it's hard for me to imagine such a world! Not because men are more deserving/able/whatever, per se, but simply because they seem to be more likely, as a group, to seize and maintain power than women would be. Then again, there were some ancient societies, Minoian is the one that comes to mind, where women may have actually been the main political leaders. Hard for me to fathom, though.

Or were you pointing out the date being wrong? I seem to remember that IRL, it was 1920 in the USA, which is the same place the "18th amendment" happened. So I would assume that's the country you are referring to!

I am unfamiliar with that episode of The Simpsons. Is that were the auctioneer / judge joke came from? Because that came out of nowhere for me. Anyway, fun story. You deserve a far larger rating than 40 (I make 41). Worse fics have gotten far higher.

847879 I won't deny I did raise an eyebrow at that one. It felt quite appropos nevertheless. Great story I don't know the Simpson's ep but this was fantastic.

I watched the Simpsons episode right before I began reading this. Awesome! :rainbowlaugh:

CMC loan sharks? id like to hear about THAt one

* * *

When Twilight Sparkle had left for Canterlot two weeks previous, she had assured herself that Ponyville would be perfectly fine without her, and that her friends would be perfectly able to handle any unforeseen occurrences that arose in her absence. Now, sitting beside Applebloom in a courtroom packed with whispering ponies, Twilight resolved not to make that mistake again.

It seemed that nearly every pony in Ponyville had managed to squeeze themselves into the courthouse, and the air inside was ripe and stuffy as a result. The fact that an entire flock of sheep was there to stand witness only made matters worse. For her part, Twilight had agreed to act in Applebloom’s defence, though personally she felt there was little she could do given the overwhelming number of witnesses against her, and the determination of Inspector Flex Bannister. The unicorn hazarded a sideways glance at Bannister himself, who sat behind the prosecutor’s table, staring straight ahead with a near inequine intensity to his gaze.

Eventually, the judge arrived, a bright green mare with a shiny orange mane. With an airy expression she took her seat behind the bench, toyed with her gavel for a moment, quickly leafed through a sheet of papers, then suddenly adopted a stern look as she called for Applebloom to approach the bench.

“Applebloom! You stand accused of illegal distribution of alcoholic beverages in direct violation of the Equestrian Experimental Prohibition Act. How do you plead?”

Applebloom gulped as she stared into the piercing purple eyes of the judge. Behind her, Applejack bit her lip in tension, Big Macintosh wrung his hooves, Granny Smith had fallen asleep, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo leaned forward in anticipation of their friend’s answer.

“G-guilty, your honour.”

The loud gasp that emanated from the crowd very nearly sucked the air from the courtroom.

“I confess, I did it all,” continued Applebloom, fighting back tears. “Everypony else is innocent. All they’re guilty of is bein’ at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Well okay then,” said the judge brightly. “In that case, I sentence you to ten years in prison. Case dismissed.”

“Wait, WHAT?!” cried Twilight. “Thats it?! What about the jury?”

“No need; she already said she was guilty,” answered the judge with a shrug.

“I’m a thousand percent sure that’s not how it works!” snapped Twilight.

“Hey, who’s the one with the gavel cutie-mark, me or you?” retorted the judge.

Twilight said nothing, but merely seethed in response.

“That’s what I thought,” said the judge smugly. “Right, guilty with ten years in jail. Does any pony want to raise that to fifteen? No? Right, going once, going twice-”

The courtroom door suddenly burst wide open. All eyes widened in shock as none other than Princess Luna herself stepped through the doorway.

“I OBJECT!!!” she shouted, the unrelenting force of the Royal Canterlot Voice reverberating violently through the room.

The judge brought her gavel down with a loud crash.

“Sold! To the Princess of the Night!”

Luna blinked.

this has some pretty serious implications

I mean do to her being a minor they cant charge with more than juvy unless this isn't her first offense

which means that the cmc were CAUGHT Loan Sharking

i found this story doing a report for U.S history a very funny way to find a story:rainbowlaugh:

I want to see a picture of Apple Bloom wearing her trilby hat.

Why do I get the feeling that this is referencing Bugys Malone

It was almost funny. Then the story's ending. That wasn't funny. Downvote, headdesk, asprin.

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