Twilight and Co. set out to exact revenge on Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie for their latest round of pranks. Predictably, things do not go according to plan.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 7th May, 2012
- offline last seen Sep 20th, 2015
Insert Pen Name
I'm a guy who writes about ponies. Not much else to say at the moment.Also, all my stuff is featured on Equestria Daily, so you know it's legit!
Insert Pen Name
Joined 7th May, 2012 ·
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Tell me, do you write professionally? The quality of this piece makes me think you do. The writing is both skillful and well-worded, not a single part of this is unecessary, and frankly, I adore this idea. Here, take these moustaches, this like, and this fave.
5/5
583459 No I do not write professionally, believe it or not. I just try to write something that I'd actually enjoy reading myself later. Anyway, thanks for both the compliment and the facial hair.
583481 I like the approach; keep it up! No problem, I'm happy to read anything you post on here
Also, soo glad this is on FIM now, LOVED this story!!!
EDIT: Curses, Blank Slate beat me to the punch
My goodness, this is looking to be quite hilarious! I chuckled quite a bit, and since I'm alone, that is an impressive feat indeed.
Kudos to you sir, a brilliant idea to write on and good writing as well!
I agree with Blank Slate entirely. This is brilliantly written and the plot is very good too. From my limited experience, this is 5/5
Really well written. Good job!
I loved this on EqD, and I'm loving it here! Faved!
I believe i've read this somewhere before... EQD?
EDIT: read comments. Regard my silliness. Carry on good sir!
Good job.
You've got a good vocabulary, a creative style, and compelling story ideas.
I liked it when you got political about public spending.
Its cool you're riffing on the Pinkie Dash prank motif. They sort of lost sight of that in the show. You tied a couple of other things into the show pretty well too.
Anyway, you've earned yourself a watch.
The dialogue in this is incredibly well written, and I'm super-interested in seeing where this goes. Faved and tracked.
MORE, NEED MORE! hahaha, very exquisitely well done, good show chap!
I know i've read this before. Where else have you posted it?
Excellently done; perfect characterization. I can't wait to see what happens! And have some more facial hair, too:
Was good on EqD, will be good here.
Spoilers, don't read if you haven't read the other chapters yet, which can be found on Equestria Daily.
It was a pretty good fic; no one was out of character and it was an amusing read all the way through. I must admit I was a bit disappointed the "body swap" didn't actually happen. Yes, it's an awful cliché, especially in love stories, but it happens to be a cliché I actually kind of like. What I got instead was still great, though, and there's still a chance such a fic might be written in the future..
As SageWise said, seeing Pinkie and Dash prank again was awesome, as it is something we never hear anything about anymore these days. Which is a real shame, because Ms. Faust stated she'd wanted to make it a more prominent part of Pinkie and Dash's personalities than it ended up becoming. Combined with her original plans to make Pinkie a pegasus, I'd say that PinkieDash would've been the largest ship by far if she'd actually been allowed to do what she wished. But I digress.
Pinkie's reality bending got a little too explicit for my tastes in chapter 3. In my opinion, it works better as something that just happens but is never truly mentioned, as it is in the show. I did really enjoy Rainbow's outburst towards Twilight. It's what I expected her to do at the end of "The Mysterious Mare Do Well", and while this situation is radically different it's still nice to see characters actually get angry when they're slighted and for mistakes to have actual consequences. All in all, it was a nice story.
I read this on EQD some time ago; and loved it. Glad to see it's finally here as well
OLAWD, NOT THE EMERGENCY BOX!
EVERYPONY PANIC!
Love this story! Read this back when it was up on EqD. I particularly like the idea of it being too nice outside for anypony to stand.
Does the emergency box have gas masks? And that part about it being too nice out for anypony to stand was kinda weird, but funny. And Lyra and Bon-Bon are apparently Shippers On Deck now.
NOT...THE BOX.
The emergency box!
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN
Oh, right, this is needed too.
Go on.....
I like this. I like this a lot.
Very interesting, I am eagerly awaiting more. Btw I love the shipping overtone.. sorry..
Why do I have a feeling that this will not end well?
I bet the effects are permenant
Gas mask child Doctor Who reference? Me gusta
611003 Okay, I have to say this, cause a lot of people have said the same: The gas masks are not a Doctor Who reference. Mr. Cake's line is obviously quoting the crazed marine from Halo, but apart from that, any apparent reference is purely coincidental.
Sorry.
I knew it! I knew something would go wrong!
611012 Wow, where'd all those comments come from? Didn't see 'em when I started reading. Ah, well, I was wrong- no need to apologize!
611003 Mommy? Are you my Mommy?
Oh yeah! I remember this!
I've been meaning to read this for a little while (since I saw it featured on EQD), and now that I have, I can safely say that I wasn't disappointed at all.
Very, very nice job!
I love your use of vocabulary within the narrative. You have a very sophisticated style of writing which describes brilliantly (I hardly noticed when you repeated words - if you did at all) and injects the perfect amount of humour when the situation calls for it.
The story itself is beautiful and heartwarming. You nailed the characters excellently, particularly Rainbow and Pinkie. (Call me a wishful thinker but I sorta hoped their love would be genuine all along.
) You captured the hilarious side of Twilight's personality, too.
All I can say in the way of constructive criticism is that the cafe scene felt a bit... rushed. I just feel there should've been more confusion and disbelief. Just a few extra lines of dialogue or so at each state of the conversation (the confession, the revelation, and the saddening conclusion) would've helped it flow better, in my humble opinion.
Anyway, you get a favorite, a thumb-up and a watch from me! Keep it up!
Are you my mommy?
611059
Not good...
The image source link is trolling me
611159 What you said.
Hmm... can't quite figure out if I liked this or not... it kinda felt like it had some undertones to it that never really got explained and maybe that was what you were aiming for with the story... to be a kinda "make up your own idea of what was really going on" thing... oh well
611522 Undertones? What sort of undertones, exactly?
I liked your story very much! I too hoped that their love was real all along... I read too much shipping
612277 Read the ending over again; I thought I left that one pretty open-ended...
Good job, though I am disappointed that they didn't get pranked. BUT I GUESS IT IS THE NATURE OF THINGS
Wow, I completely missed that. Never mind
Amazing.
612117
multiple ways it could be understood in... going to explain will take more time than i really care to put into it (no offense...)
"The last thing we need is a crazed mob of Rainbow Dash-lovers on our hooves,” said Twilight as they ascended the rickety spiral stairway that led to Pinkie’s bedroom.
“Absolutely everything. What can possibly go wrong?” Twilight suddenly shuddered. “Woah, did you just feel a chill?” she asked. That my dear Twi, was fate giving you a warningdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Thanks for writing and sharing this fic. It was consistently entertaining, flowed well, and had a solid story arc.
I look forward to reading more from you.
just want to say I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Neep button!