• Member Since 11th Mar, 2012
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It's fanfiction all the way down.


History records that Celestia smote the Heartspire and the wicked unicorns living within. These are their final stories.

At the end, Celestia kills everyone.

Based on of The Dream Palace of the Highborn by Cold in Gardez.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 34 )
Noc #1 · Jun 3rd, 2023 · · ·

Oh, fuck, yes. I just recently reread that chapter of Lost Cities, too, to remember its masterful atmospheric writing. Let’s go!

At the end, Celestia kills everyone.

And they deserve it.

Hell of a first chapter!

Well, these vultures are properly abhorrent. I can't wait until they fall from the sky, screeching in abject terror and disbelief, but I suppose I must.

I sent GaPJAxie a PM because I don't want to clog the comment section with my feelings about how good this first chapter is.
Even if the story ~was~never~continued,~ hypothetically never gets continued for some reason, it is still Wonderful Horse
Not really for 12 year old 'blow stuff up real good' philistines though

Debauchery! Orgies! Malaise!

Yep, it's another Jaxie story hot off the presses. :raritywink:

It's always interesting to see how you do some worldbuilding so quickly, even taking what we got from Lost Cities. It's also chilling to see how utterly callous the characters are, given that their first concern is racial purity and not, y'know, forcing control over another individual's body.

One thing that undercuts that latter aspect, though, is that Violet's current host is also a unicorn... in a unicorn-supremacist society, is it really okay to mindjack another unicorn, especially a presumably young one? I'm a bit interested to see how that came to be.

At the very first I was ready to feel sorry for Surplus (and possibly the wizard), being led astray/trapped by the *itch who goes by the title of "Queen" but at the end I practically felt ill from this sheer bloody hedonism, nothing is too far for these creatures. I look forward to seeing Celestia and Luna's "first and only" visit.

Such a love letter to "Lost Cities."

Well, premise and execution are commendable :twilightsmile:
Thanks for letting get acquainted with the source material, it is very solid

"Dream Spire" was my favorite of the "Lost Cities" series.
Thank you this expansion on that glimpse into the past.

Not sure what is this, but I like it so far. I never read Lost Cities, but I hope it's not necessary to fully understand this going forward.

That is some seriously fucked up ponies. And I suspect none of them are the slightest bit happy, no matter how hard they fake it.

You should, it's some damn good stuff.

I'm impressed. These are some fascinatingly loathsome creatures you've written here.

Intensely psychedelic, twisted fun. The style calls to mind 60's fantasy, the kind of dungeon-crawling epics that arcade video games are based on.

An unexpected, daring, and deeply engaging sequel. Eagerly looking forward to seeing how you explore this tower of hubris and the fascinatingly wretched creatures who inhabit it.

(Also, sorry for the extra notification. Clicked the wrong shelf at first.)

I feel like this should be m rated and i love it!

Yeah, these people don't even realize how repugnant they're being.


Cold in Gardez does some of the best damn Dunsany I've ever read, anywhere. And it's not the existential horror or the worldbuilding he chooses to recognize, but the thing that really makes Dunsany Dunsany: these little tone-poems of description.

Dunsany's "Bethmoora" or "In Zaccarath" could fit quite neatly into Lost Cities and if you didn't already know they weren't Gardez's you'd probably never guess.

(Now that I think of it, this story has very strong echoes of "In Zaccarath")

I am enthralled.

"“Why won’t you take no for an answer?” he demanded, his voice turning sharp."
Ohhh. Well, maybe ohhh; we'll see if I'm right. But if so, it's at about this point I figured out, after having been feeling for a bit that something was off, that, well, the story didn't actually say what had happened to the spirit already bound to the body of that beautiful virgin mare...

"ill-thought of"

...Oh, hm, or not, apparently. I'd thought that Violet Shroud was bound to Surplus, with Surplus meant to be the one control and Violet had persuaded her to give her control instead.

...I do wonder where they get the unicorns to bind Violet to, though.

Anyway, thanks for writing! Looks like another interesting one.

These characters are definitely not going to get killed by Celestia at the end I'm calling shenanigans

You've set this up as a morality tale, and morality tales are never interesting or moral. Lumping together casual sex and mind-altering drugs with slavery and murder in your moral calculus characterizes unthinking Puritanical views; you may as well show your villains dancing and playing cards. You've written thoughtful stories that subverted black-and-white morality, but it would be quite a trick to turn this into one of those.

I'm kinda shocked that something with mass appeal, high quality (other than a lot of grammatical errors, very atypical of your writing), and good cover art, posted by someone with 2300 followers, got only 432 views. Probably you just got bit by the perennial randomness of the featured box's poorly-designed algorithms, but it augurs poorly for authors here.


I appreciate the thoughtful and detailed comment, but one part of it has me confused. Most of my stories are morality tales.

Siren Song is a classical judeo Christian morality tale about a girl who's in hell for the sin of pride and has to accept she can't get out of here until she humbles herself before a deific figure and asks for forgiveness.

Arbitrage of Moments was a Morality tale about forgiveness. Canterrevolutionary was a morality tale about charity. Would It Matter If I Was was a morality tale about diversity and acceptance.

Like, I take your point about sex and drugs, but writing morality tales is not new for me.

Also foreign thoughts was a morality tale about racism. Also Twilight sparkle versus social justice was a morality tale about history. Etc etc.

True, if you use "morality tale" to mean "a tale about morality" or "a tale which deals with morality". I meant it in the way I've usually seen it used, which is to mean a story whose only purpose is to preach an over-simplified moral, e.g., "a medieval morality tale". I'll try to find a better way to say that.

Who was the deific figure in Siren Song? I don't remember that part. I didn't catch the humbleness & forgiveness aspect, or didn't connect them.



The story literally ends with siren praying for Celestia's forgiveness, while understanding that fundamentally she deserves to be in hell for being a bad person.

Like, I didn't think it was subtle. Siren refers to her conversations with Celestia as letters, but they aren't. They're praying.

Sorry; I wasn't criticizing. I just didn't catch it. I'm a better writer than reader. I hope.

and a stabbing pain would blossom in his heart.

That's certainly a new dynamic for me! There's the idea of hating yourself but choosing your partner to revel in the neglect and indifference is curious.

Each was an attempt to be rid of his lover.

I'll be honest, I was unsure if this meant his lover was the White Queen since that's a title to be shared.

They made love in public view.

While in his waifish form? Such debauchery!

proposed to his childhood companion.

The surest way to sorrow is to let yourself be happy...

an emaciated earth pony

Didn't expect that, considering the flex of how they "conquered nature" on the first floor I'd have thought they'd keep their servants fat just to show how wealthy they are.

like watching a snake eat a mouse

Oh wow, yeah she's nothing like I imagined! Certainly interesting.

she drank until she forgot.

So that's what he meant by she never faced what she fled from, rather escape in self destructive tendencies then confront her problems.

You slept with my husband you wretched whore.

Cadance and Chrysalis are here!

regardless of whose body I happen to be using

Huh that's certainly... Huh. Is that wrong? The whole thing is morally reprehensible but once it's done she's still herself regardless so.

I mean that's not Judeo Chritsian. That's just Christian. In Judaism you don't need a god to forgive you, you just need to work to do better and acknowledge what you did was wrong and feel remorse. No Jesus or G-d needed.


I sort of conflate the two but yes that's a fair point.

That makes sense. Their often conflated. The 2 religons have many diffrences and conflating the 2 as the same while pointing to just Christian beliefs is highly misleading and can lead to people having a very bad understanding of Judaism.
I'm not blaming you by the way. People do it all the time and I understand you didn't mean anything bad by it. But I personally feel it's important to fix this misinformation and I hope youll be more careful next time.
I hope I didn't offend you.


No offense given! I appreciate the number and correction. :D

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