In a flash of green light, five college students from Earth are transported to Equestria and transformed into changelings. Will they be able to find a way home?
My loving alternate take on Don't Bug Me, by Starscribe.
Chapters (4)
- Member Since 11th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen 33 minutes ago
GaPJaxie
It's fanfiction all the way down.
GaPJaxie
Joined 11th Mar, 2012 ·
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OKAY. I have just been having some frustrations, starting with some still-unresolved technically difficulties (I updated the OS on my Linux laptop and it appears to have just... completely removed any way to control the screen brightness), and then some other stuff came up, and I'm behind schedule and just, urrrgh, BUT. In the course of these difficulties, I went on FIMFiction to test something, and lo, what should I see but a new GaPJaxie story, posted this very day though the day be less than six hours old, a story that, given how behind I am on blog posts and various other things disrupting my plans to get things done today and... such, anyway, I might not have seen it for who knows how long, and instead I discovered it when I was rather in a bad mood, and when I might not have discovered it for a while without those circumstances... and I'm repeating myself, I think.
Upshot is, nice timing. :D
And even though it's going to put me further behind schedule and I should perhaps just be getting to bed instead, I'm going to read this now because I could do with some nice relaxing time with, um, a story labelled Dark, Violence, and Non-con, I notice. But it's you, so it should still be fun to read. :D
"But her face; her face was the worst."
"But her face, her face was the worst."?
"but the professor chucked."
"but the professor chuckled."?
"detected it; attempting to run without looking"
"detected it, attempting to run without looking"?
"vaguely around; around the dorm"
"vaguely around, around the dorm"?
"about bridemaid’s dresses and"
"about bridesmaid’s dresses and"?
Interesting opening chapter. :D
Thanks for writing!
Is...is this a cool isekai? Can it possibly be? It's been so long...
Very much looking to seeing your exploration of this.
A Jaxie story inspired by Starscribe, with a Tiny Sapient Ungulates cover image. Needless to say, I'm intrigued several times over. Looking forward to seeing where this goes. (Clearly horrible places, but hopefully some brighter ones as well.)
That was a promising opening. What it promises is... well. Let's say I'm very intrigued!
Well, that seems a little on the nose.
Regardless of the inspiration, anything you write with changelings in it is going to be heavy in the best way. I can't wait.
This describes my feelings for my own sister's fiancé too, surprisingly enough.
That's quite a chapter one! I'm looking forward to more of this GaPJaxie-level changelingfic.
asdf that intro just
my feels
media.tenor.com/hHMlCXdEfbEAAAAC/laptop-breaking.gif
ITS SO. GOOD.
When I wrote Don't Bug Me, I decided to pull quite a few punches. You haven't, bravo.
11/10 already one of my favorite stories and it's only on chapter one
You sir are a master writer and I am excited to read more once more is out
11568325
Senpai noticed me.
When I was reading Don't Bug Me, I knew you were pulling those punches with intent. You wanted to write an upbeat adventure story, and that required altering certain details of changeling biology. Otherwise, things get dark real fast.
But I enjoy dark stories, so I decided to take a swing at writing the uncensored version!
I do hope you enjoy it. It's fanfiction on your fanfiction.
I don't get it.
The description says they are transported and changed into changelings but the intro shows a changeling with the same name that's been there a long time.
Is this one of those where they end up in the bodies of already existing changelings?
Also do changelings not have transformative abilities in this fic? It's stated that he believes she dug up and wore the skin and wings of his beloved but somehow messed up on the eyes even though a changeling transformation would get the eyes too, aside from that I don't think you could make a convincing mask from a dead pony.
From the thumbnail i'm expecting something different than usual.
Huh. My comment appears to have gotten a downvote. I wonder why?
11570050
My understanding, at least, is that the intro is a flash forward and that the description of the transformation was laden with metaphor.
11570744
That implies rather extreme mental manipulation for her to go from human to paraphrasing "I can make you love me" and with the others supporting her especially since this would appear to be quite some time in the future where they would have already had plenty of time to adjust to the change and would have already long starved to death or been killed if they hadn't.
I don't like the jumping back and forth between before and after, with it starting off with them looting a corpse it looks like it's going to earn that dark tag pretty quick, also their transformative ability is weird and broken in this fic, if it can even be considered transformative at all as it's unclear if this is a everyone wears weird clothes or if that's just something of an abstraction layer between them and their abilities.
11570910
I guess that's fair, but the chapter made sense to me. Jump straight into some action, the deer stuff raises questions and gets us wondering how things work for the main characters in this new world. I like the hints that they already had changeling traits before transforming.
11567000
I was going to say "this story is totally unedited" but I was hoping you'd make one of your famous remarks and that would no longer be true. :D
Good to see you again, I've missed your comments.
11570910
The interesting implication to me is that it seems as if only one changeling can be disguised as a specific creature at any given time. Which makes this an AU, since that happens multiple times in the show.
11567050
I warn you, it's unedited, I'm planning this as I go, and overall it probably isn't going to be a flawless masterpiece, but...
Life has been hard for awhile, and it's been so long since I've written anything. I need to get back on that horse. Write something, publish it, and never look back.
And who knows? Maybe you'll enjoy it. I hope so!
11567099
It will have bright moments! But we need to get to the dark ones first.
11567159
i.chzbgr.com/full/6408687616/h90ACC2EC/doing-bad-things-is-fun
11567257
Frankly, the opening should have told you this isn't supposed to be a subtle story. :D
11567386
It's also my feelings on my sister's fiance! Didn't have to dig deep for that one.
11568087
Now to see if I can keep it up!
11568335
Three new chapters! I hope you enjoy where it's going. :)
11570910
I really like the jumping back and forth! It's a way to get some blatant foreshadowing!
I also find your story's version of transformative ability interesting. I also DM'd you in discord of course, ha. :-)
11571024
It looks like it goes much further than that, their disguise/transformation ability has been heavily nerfed like they can only transform into something they have rather than anything they know of meaning that they can both lose the ability to transform into someone and are limited by how much they can physically carry how many things (ch3) they can transform into
and as far as we've been shown the original has to be dead.(ch4) Then on top of everything else their disguises are imperfect (the eyes) and can be discovered from the original at a glance by anyone who knew them before whereas you'd normally have to figure that out by them not knowing things or behavior or some kind of test.And now I see there's been an extra 2 chapters since I read this earlier today.
ch3
Also can't manipulate size much, weirdly seems to change for inanimate objects like rocks and plants but not birds,
source must be dead seems further confirmed.(invalidated in ch4)Weirdly they can fly while disguised but not natively even though they have wings.
The puppet thing is always active not just after they are dead but no one has tried removing the skin from anything alive yet.
Abstraction seems to be confirmed.
ch4
They do have instincts from their new bodies.
They can take the identity of the living without harming them, abstraction confirmed.
Seems to be confirmed that the abstraction only allows one copy at any given time, looks like a friendly could just take and store the copy preventing anyone else from being able to duplicate them.
are known and aren't known for being friendly.
feeding can cause permanent harm.
The changeling view of the world is creepy.
This first scene with the deer is a really fascinating deconstruction of changeling magic. We've seen and read countless stories about changelings looking at a creature, going up in green flames, and then boom, they are a spitting image of that creature.
These kids are bad changelings. They have access to the magic but no understanding of how to use it. They're able to take parts from the deer, but can't copy it in its entirety. The language used to describe this fumbling is a callback to the descriptions in the first chapter, when a changeling character figuratively "dissects" a deceased pony and wears their form like a mask.
Fascinating stuff thus far, especially the world through changeling eyes. I have to love the TF2 Spy logic of their disguises. (Paper masks would certainly be more convenient than holding a rock in front of your face.) And the glass box is a fascinating puzzle, teaching the changelings-to-be a very important lesson: Emotions are a tool. Use them or you'll be used.
11570773
(Sorry about the delay in getting back to you. The story updated such that I thought I'd better find time to deal with those and your comment rather than just your comment, and that ended up taking a bit.)
Would it, though? Hunger, whether because it hadn't actually been that long or because a previous energy acquisition system stopped working, is a pretty strong motivator, and it seems to me like it wouldn't take all that much tweaking, if any, to produce the behavior seen (as I'm remembering it, at least).
Chapter 2:
"the woods on the mountain side. They"
"the woods on the mountainside. They"?
...Huh.
Ahhhh. I was wondering if it might be something like that.
So, metaphor indeed -- but one made not by the narrator...
That said, hm. I wonder, why could they each not take all aspects of the deer? Possibly just a lack of knowledge of how, but it's also possible that changelings in this universe don't so much generate their own aspects as take those generated but no longer used by others, or something like that...
"as neatly as surgeons tools: screwdrivers"
"as neatly as surgeons' tools: screwdrivers"?
"a jewelers eyepiece"
"a jeweler's eyepiece"?
"and sharp as surgeons scalpels were"
"and sharp as surgeons' scalpels were"?
"She thought she’d tell him to stop wasting"
"She thought he'd tell her to stop wasting"?
Chapter 3:
Fascinating...
I do wonder, what is the difference in action between taking the aspect of the sapling for disguise, and physically taking it from the ground? It appears to be something they are not at this point conscious of doing...
Ah, and the rock transformation can be layered over the antlers, without the rock sprouting antlers, presumably.
Hmm. Okay, and we saw at the start of the first chapter that changelings and ponies can communicate in this universe, so presumably the difficulties shown here can be overcome somehow...
...Though we don't know if Avery then was transformed in part...
"am I fucking vampire?” Avery"
"am I a fucking vampire?” Avery"?
"on how to find the boxes manufacturer"
"on how to find the box's manufacturer"?
"This sortof soft, comfortable…"
"This sort of soft, comfortable…"?
Chapter 4:
"A rock could not peek over the window ledge"
I do wonder how that was represented in the metaphor.
"and rough-hewn bed considerably cruder"
"and a rough-hewn bed of considerably cruder"?
"that were acquainted with the wonderful"
"that were associated with the wonderful"?
Interesting; I wonder which pieces, and/or how much, would be sufficient to grant that knowledge of the dog?
"He should have ran, should have"
"He should have run, should have"?
"Wind Rolling crawled into bed"
"Wind Roller crawled into bed"?
11571022
Oh, hah, well, glad I could help. :D
And thanks. :)
11571025
Ah, sorry you've been having a hard time of things; I hope things improve.
And I've been enjoying the story so far. :)
(Sorry about the delay in getting to this, but the chapters came quickly and I got busy and distracted.)
11571179
"and are limited by how much they can physically carry how many things"
Are they, though? After all, they aren't actually physically carrying things at all, for the transformations.
11579324
I've got tons of stuff queued to get back to myself, no issue at all.
If it hasn't been that long it makes a lot more sense with the new drives being overwhelming but the way I read it they had been friends a long time.
Same with this as if this is shortly after and they're beginning to starve it makes a lot more since but it seemed to be implied that they had been friends a long time in which case they should have already long adapted.
A few chapters in i'm starting to think we're actually going to catch up to the start scene pretty quickly and it's only going to be a few days from now and we're going to find the pony at the start had only actually met them like the day before at most.
Aren't they? They appear to have to wear the items to transform and then keep up with them while not worn.
It seems to be an abstraction layer though, they don't appear to be fully physical items as they can be taken from living subjects without apparent harm yet they still seem to be items that can be transferred or lost and take up physical space.
11579932
Ah, thanks. :)
Aye, so much to read, so little time...
"If it hasn't been that long it makes a lot more sense with the new drives being overwhelming but the way I read it they had been friends a long time."
Well, even if the hunger hadn't increased, consider how appealing the prospect of that plan working could have been, in terms of future food supply.
"Same with this as if this is shortly after and they're beginning to starve it makes a lot more since but it seemed to be implied that they had been friends a long time in which case they should have already long adapted."
Yeah, but there are various possibilities regarding how well adapted. How sustainable is their food source? How secure is it? How much of their hunger does it sate?
"A few chapters in i'm starting to think we're actually going to catch up to the start scene pretty quickly and it's only going to be a few days from now and we're going to find the pony at the start had only actually met them like the day before at most."
That, I don't know, but I also recall having the impression it'd been longer.
"Aren't they? They appear to have to wear the items to transform and then keep up with them while not worn."
But the items don't actually exist as physical objects.
"It seems to be an abstraction layer though, they don't appear to be fully physical items as they can be taken from living subjects without apparent harm yet they still seem to be items that can be transferred or lost and take up physical space."
Transferred or lost, yes, but I don't read them as taking up physical space. The layer of metaphor in changeling perception in this universe seems to be quite strong.
I don't think I have ever read a take on changelings this creepy before.
Your previous stories pales compared to this, and the idea of being stuck in a shape like this? Good grief.
“You’re always kind of a bitch,” Jaya said. “You’re a really fake, manipulative person. I knew that when I became your friend. We all know. But you’re also usually a nice person. Like, actually sweet. This is bringing out a really ugly side of your personality I don’t like.”
Hmm, this could indicate that there already was a bit of changeling in Avery.
These changelings are super creepy. I love how you’ve described their abilities to, real horror movie monsters that ponies should be afraid of.