I Can't Ask Fluttershy Out

Hillbe #1 · Jun 6th, 2023 · 3 · ·

Last guy that tried ended up in the sock dimension . . .
We found him at the laundry mat on low heat
We had to remove the door to get him out
His eyes kept spinning and spinning and spinning
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Moproblems Moharmoney

Moproblems Moharmoney #2 · Jun 6th, 2023 · 1 · ·

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I love how Shays 'ugly humanity' is displayed through his simple comfort with wringing his cats neck

Admiral Biscuit

Admiral Biscuit #3 · Jun 8th, 2023 · 4 · ·

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This is so good. You packed a lot in that thousand words . . .

This is the kind of story that sticks with a person. You got me in the feels hard, and on a lot of different levels. Well done!

EDIT: I love the way you ended it, too; something is different about reading it all stretched out than there would have been if it was just a paragraph or two.

SWEETOLEBOB18

SWEETOLEBOB18 #4 · Jun 8th, 2023 · 1 · ·

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Added to
Admiral Biscuit's Fleet
The Signal Boosters folder

Skywriter

Skywriter #5 · Jun 8th, 2023 · 4 · ·

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ouch.

But in a good way.

Walabio

Walabio #6 · Jun 9th, 2023 · 2 · ·

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This is beautiful and sad.

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #7 · Sep 18th, 2023 · 1 · ·

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Ponies from another dimension live on Earth, work on Earth, laugh on Earth. There aren't many. It's not that others can't come. They have the technology. We couldn't steal it from them. Not me. But humanity. Some tried. They got fried. Ponies died. They stopped coming. But after a while, peace got worked out.

a very concise civilizational first contact story!

They don't like our planet--actually, our humans. We eat meat--lots from fish to flesh of dog and pig and cow and yak and basically anything with four legs. We race equines and ride equines and beat equines and trans-dimensional ponies become nauseous looking at that. And even after they offered us gifts of weather control and unicorn search and rescue teams for disasters... we wouldn't stop "evil" just to make them feel better. Not even for friendship. We can't change.

so true actually. i have a lot of story ideas about this aspect of the human/pony relationship but this puts all of that in so few words

But some ponies are here. They're a little queer, the ones that stay.

hehe, that is a fun bending of the stock phrase

I was too embarrassed--dry throat--to speak much, so I wrote my requests rather than leaning in close.

aww that is so perfect for Fluttershy!

But, I can't ask Fluttershy out. I don't have a glistening coat like hers and no wings and I'm awkward and I'm ugly in comparison.

relatable

She's sweet, like a cat, flitting about, sinuously, dreamily--a fashion runway model.

hey she was a fashion model at some point!

She's so foreign and yet so home for me.

relatable

But there is a surgery. Magic they're working on in Equestria, just across the dimensional portal. Pony scientists speculate human bodies make us cruel. Eat meat. I don't think our digestive system affects our morality. I mean, we need nutrients. I take supplements! And fish.... We've solved nutritional problems related to plant-based diets. And there are good humans. We don't need to be ponies.

oh yeah that is one thing so interesting about humans! how many species are both adapted to eating meat and biologically capable of living without it? anyone who believes in biological teleology of divine origin should come to the conclusion that humans are this way as an ethical test of our species

Everyone would have something to say. How stupid I was. How brave. How good. But that's terrible. Attention. I'm too shy.

aww, the narrator has so much in common with Flutters!

Thank fate for that deadly world-closing virus. I work from home now. Only walk to the vet.

topical, but how can literature be not, for an author whose path only intersected with this fandom because of it (well i’m describing me here)

Some pets accompanied her and she buried them there. "Sometimes, we have to let go," she said. She hadn't saved them. They'd been incurable. Resting forever in lovely lands.

aww! this is lovely

FlutterShay.

i ship it

Out.

oh wow. absolute chills, here. what an amazing way to end it. just the literally otherworldly, ethereal loveliness of Fluttershy and the ponies described so far, contrasted so brutally with this moment that brings together all of the elements laid out in this short yet oh so very dense piece.

there is so much potential in stories of humans relating to ponies, but i seldom see writers being able to escape their human-centered lens and express something truly worth saying. this is one of those very few times. thank you so much for writing this; i absolutely loved it.

and i am also very glad that i am in the habit of not reading descs or tags before jumping into stories. i did wonder if Shay was supposed to be the “human counterpart” to Fluttershy, and i loved the ambiguïty of that possibility in the text. anyway, augh, just loved this!

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #8 · Sep 18th, 2023 · 2 · ·

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Ponies being repulsed by carnivory just does not work for me when they keep obligate carnivores like cats and owls for pets. To say nothing of Fluttershy's own contributions to the food chain.

I appreciate what the story is going for, but I feel it’s a poor fit for the word limit. Even with the stream of consciousness style compressing the word count, there’s not enough buildup before the emotional plummet of the climax. Of course, that's why a contest has multiple judges. Again, I appreciate the intent behind the story, and I'm glad it worked for the others. My grousing aside, you definitely earned your medal.

Loganberry

Loganberry #9 · January 2nd · 1 · ·

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Hello! A belated courtesy note for my review. I most enjoyed the parts that dealt with feelings -- quite gripping at times. Not sure I quite swallow ponies being entirely repulsed by meat-eating, but that's less important. Some echoes of Admiral Biscuit's ponies-on-Earth fics here, and that's not a bad thing. Easy like!

SparklingTwilight

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