• Member Since 6th Mar, 2016
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If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.


No matter how epic the tale, or how stupendous the story, there will always be bits and bobbles that don't quite make into the yarn, for one reason or another.

This is (yet another) collection of such. Published in no particular order and presented with no peer review or editing, these little snippets are what got left by the wayside during the writing process for the No Nose Knows series of stories.

Potential spoilers ahead, if you haven't read the series! Proceed at your own risk!

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 51 )

the No Nose Knows series of stories

AKA The Beaniverse.

Or, The Bean Books.

Or, The Bean Continuum.

Or, The Bean Dream Scene.

Or The okay I'll stop now.


The Boop Troop

The Fabaceae Literary Universe

Baked Bean 2: Electric Boopaloo

Dr. Beanlove or: How I learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Boop

Don't Be A Menace to South Canterlot While Booping Your Princess In The Garden

I Know Who You Booped Last Summer

To Baked Bean, Thanks For Booping Me, Princess Celestia

oh dear god please someone help me I can't stop I can't aaaaaaaaaa

No Beanis cross-overs, I presume?

Nay. That be too spicy for me.

Truth be told, if I had known about that when I started writing No Nose, Baked Bean would have been renamed to Chef Salad or something like that just to avoid the comparison.

It was a dark and stormy night when destiny decided to again interfere in the affairs of the mortal realm.

What is destiny's obsession with dark and stormy nights :trollestia:

The paladin was glaring furiously at a small wizard who sat with them, but the draconic summoner seemed to be unperturbed and giggled to himself as he watched the antics before him.

He's not the only one :trollestia:

“Now, now, Gleaming Shield,” the barbarian chided. “We tested the dice repeatedly. Those twenties were all natural, and you know it. Quit being a sore loser.”

So basically, she rolled a one and became a cook and then rolled nat twenties for everything else :trollestia:


No. Never change your story because people write naughty stuff. Literally, there is so much NSFW stuff out there that it is impossible to avoid all comparison. We're humans. If we like something, some of us want to lewd it. Baked Bean's name is perfect for his back story, and I hope this isn't insulting, but you would have had a Hell of a time re-writing all his family's names and story to fit the new convention.

Let lewders lewd, but don't change yourself.

Oh, this will be intresting.:twilightsheepish:
I only wonder if it will be as fun as the side stories from CP

Ever heard of Richard Turner? Celestia could be the Richard Turner of dice to roll that many nat 20...

That is just depressing. Also nice hint to Hivers Blank Page series.

Good thing this never made it into the real story, eh? :)


Well this was rather sad

Jeez Louise, what is this dreary nonsense? No. No sir, I didn't like it. I don't want to imagine Baked Bean trapped in a shiftless, unfulfilling life, doing a job he only marginally likes, alone, dreams forgotten and beaten out of him by the ceaseless march of time and the cold ruthlessness of reality.


Only because we know the true destiny of The Bean. For us flesh and blood characters in life's story, the future is unwritten. Who knows? Maybe there's a boopable princess in your future, friend! We, all of us, must hold on to the hope that it gets better. Which is easy since, well... it always does. :ajsmug:

I work in grocery retail. Your statement is observably false.


As do I. Well, part time, anyway. I work the summer at Kroger while I use the GI Bill during the school year. Still, we are all, all of us, tumbling through life, doing our best to make sense of this terrifying, hilarious tragi-comedy that is physical existence. No matter what, we must keep that hope alive. Brighter days await us all. It may not be the true "happy ending" we all wish for. We must also realize that Hollywood has spoiled us, making us think that the "happy ending" is nothing short of perfection, the "Happily Ever After." But, as one modern philosopher commented, "In real life, it is never 'The End.' There is only 'An End'."

This new one looks like a side dish, and not something that wants to eat me instead.

We hold this self-evident that Celestia will manipulate literally everything to her advantage. 🙃

Quick, 90 ccs of Friendship stat! This one's dangerously close to becoming discorded!

And then someone opened the door, fresh air cleared his head, and the increasingly strange poetry that was surrounding him instantly vanishing! 😏

Oof. He should be glad she didn't glass him that instant.

Respects to Bob, he did his best against all odds.

Hah, I love that song.
Also can't wait for more Glim Glam in the bean saga.

“How can you have any pudding if you don’t finish your meat?!”

“Oh sweet Celestia! Is that beef?!”

*Flint pops up*
"Gimmie. I haven't had a steak in forever. I'll take the pudding after that."

“Hey! Teacher! Leave that Flint alone!”

All in all you're just a--nother Mark in the wall!

Caution: Can cause spontaneous nose-bleeds in vulnerable stallions.

[Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow intensifies]

Careful, the last thing Bean needs is a heart attack on top of his injuries.

Oh wow, I didn’t realize you were going to use this short I wrote! I may have to see if I can come up with anything else for this anthology.

Yeah, should have given you a warning I was gonna post this. My bad. :twilightsheepish:

Mmmm, some nice cream sounds great right about now...

Nice. Maybe I should throw my hat into the ring on these stories.

Chrysalis: "Yes, that's it. Just relax, and give me all of your love."

Celestia: "You think you an handle it? Then take it! TAKE IT AAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!


Let your Muse go wild!


“Every…ugh…every one of my eggs is hatched. Every drone will be in a food coma for a week. What have you done?”

Disabled your entire hive in just a few short seconds :moustache:

That was the PG-13 version of tactic 718y-bab9! Loved that one.
Shame it only works on connected lings...

Very nice Mythic, very nice. Thanks for creating and sharing.

Eyup, I could see that happening.

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