//------------------------------// // Aborted Sequel - Part 2 // Story: Side of Beans // by Irrespective //------------------------------// * * ✹ * * Starlight Glimmer hated Twilight Sparkle. This was nothing new or shocking, but she couldn’t help but repeat how much she detested the Princess of Friendship as she was forced to stare at the metal floor of her current conveyance. Queen Chrysalis had simply dropped her in the back of the ornate carriage like she was a piece of luggage, and the changeling pod she was encased in still refused to give in any way.  In between the moments of pure, unadulterated rage at Twilight Sparkle, Starlight wondered what was going to happen next. Chrysalis had conquered Equestria—or, at least, the Crystal Empire—but she also was subservient to a ‘Prince,’ apparently, and most confusingly of all, the changeling queen had called her an anarchist. True, Starlight had set up an anarcho-syndicalist commune with herself secretly at the head of all decisions, but even she still had to answer to Celestia’s rule and the laws of Equestria.  The only ‘Prince’ that she could come up with was Prince Baked Bean, Celestia’s husband and the luckiest idiot to have ever lived. She’d only met him once, when she had gotten royal permission to build Our Town, but that had been more than enough to cement her hatred of his ridiculous fortune. Where she had to beg, borrow, steal, cajole, and ultimately brainwash ponies to get what she wanted, that yellow commoner had stumbled into the lap of luxury and ease, with Princess Celestia at his personal beck and call. Anything he wanted, he instantly got, and the whole thing only reinforced how patently unfair life was, especially to her.  Oh, sure, there was Prince Shining Armor as well, she supposed, but since he was supposed to be in the Crystal Empire, Starlight was reasonably sure that he was not part of the equation in this world.  That thought gave Starlight a bit of cheer, since it meant that there was one more avenue of anguish for Twilight to walk down, but the joy was jostled out of her when the carriage hit a patch of turbulence and sent her, nose-first, into the floor. “Just you wait ‘till I get out of this, Twilight Sparkle!” she grumbled under her breath. “If you’re going to badmouth a pony, you should really speak up,” Chrysalis called over her shoulder. “I’ll join in, if it’s especially foul.” “You’re next,” Starlight growled, but Chrysalis simply laughed. “Give it your best shot, by all means. I have very thick chitin; I can take it.” Another bump of turbulence knocked Starlight onto her side, and she took the opportunity to properly glare at the changeling queen. The horrid bug was looking at something off in the distance, so the effect was a bit of a waste, but Starlight hoped that maybe she could burn a hole in Chrysalis’ carapice, if she just stared at the same spot for long enough.  “So, my little impostor, is there any particular reason why you thought skydiving into the Crystal Empire would be a good infiltration method?” Chrysalis asked without looking back. “Or are you one of those deranged ponies that likes skirting the edge of death for a few cheap thrills?” “I wasn’t skydiving. Or, not intentionally. When Twilight banished me here, she didn’t bother to make sure that I was going somewhere nice. She just flung me off into oblivion without a care in the world.” “I’m liking this Twilight Sparkle more and more,” Chrysalis said with a snicker. “She sounds like my kind of pony. If she was real, I think I’d like to meet her.” “You think I’m making this up?!” Starlight shot with incredulous rage.  “Yes, and it’s one of the worst cover stories I’ve ever heard. If you’re going to lie to me, you should at least lie believably. Less is more, in my personal experience.” Starlight bit her lip. Apart from freedom, a gallon of water to drink, and a trip to the little filly’s room, the one thing she needed more than anything right now was information. “So, if I’m lying about all of this, then what do you think I am?” Chrysalis glanced over her shoulder and gave Starlight a devious smirk. “I think you’re the worst impostor that’s ever tried to weasel her way into my domain, you filthy little rat. But I also know when somepony is fishing for information, so that’s all you’ll get from me. I am looking forward to the lobotomy later, I have to admit.  There’s just something so wonderful about seeing a pony reduced to the intelligence level of a radish. You will remember to scream, won’t you? That’s always my favorite part.” Outwardly, Starlight locked her jaw shut and glared at the Queen. Inwardly, however, her heart began to beat wildly, and her mind began to race once more. She wanted to believe that Chrysalis was exaggerating and making empty threats, but that glint in the Queen’s eye was anything but joking. Just stay calm, Starlight. You’ve gotten out of worse jams than this. Keep it together. Keep! It! Together! They’re taking you to see Prince Bean, and there’s no way he’d let Chrysalis lobotomize you.  Right?      * * ✹ * * Starlight Glimmer’s arrival in Canterlot was not one that she’d care to repeat. Queen Chrysalis’ carriage, after bouncing off the ground a couple of times— and ricocheting off of something else—slammed to a stop with a clatter and a loud thunk that shot the trapped unicorn up in the air for several seconds. She groaned once her own landing was completed, and the pale green magic field that enveloped her did not help her pain. “Mandible, you really need to work on your landings,” Chrysalis casually remarked to the wheezing drone who was sprawled out on the floor. “I could do better if you’d get more drones to help pull the carriage, my Empress,” he gasped through ragged breaths.  “Don’t bother me with details. Now! Where is my Princey poo? He’s usually here to greet me right when I arrive.” “Father isn’t here right now,” a feminine voice replied, but Starlight wasn’t facing the right way to see who the speaker was. “He was called to Manehattan earlier today by Chancellor…” Starlight’s eyes widened when Chrysalis turned her around and presented the captive, and for a moment, she wondered how much weirder this future could possibly get.  “A yak?” Starlight couldn’t hold back the question, no matter how dumb it was.  “Chancellor Glimmer?” the yak replied, her head tilting to the right. “Chrysalis, what is the meaning of this?” “I caught this one out on the edge of the Empire,” Chrysalis said matter-of-factly. “So if there was a last-minute change in Chancellor Glimmer’s itinerary, now’s the time to say something.”  “No, there was no change.” Starlight followed the overgrown lump of shaggy brown fur with her eyes until she moved out of her field of vision, but she kept the scowl all the same. “Why in Equestria would they send a look-alike to the Empire? Were they trying to smuggle her in or something?” “This one was acting alone,” Chrysalis said, and she tossed the Starlight bundle to the feet of the yak once she had stopped moving. “I haven’t interrogated her, so maybe she’s just one of those delusional ones.” “Is she a changeling?” The yak prodded Starlight’s nose with a hoof, and she tried to bite it. “No, she’s a pony.” “It’s a pretty good illusion spell. Father will definitely want to talk to this one.” The yak poked the pod, then glanced up to Chrysalis. “Can she get out of that?” “Relax, Yona. That pod is indestructible,” said Chrysalis. “If you want to have some real fun, I could put an anti-gravity spell on her. She’d make a great beach ball.” “That’s just mean.” Yona the Yak picked up Starlight and pulled her into a protective hug. “Even if she is an Anarchist, you know Father doesn’t like it when you hurt them.” “You accidently break a couple of ponies in half, and you never hear the end of it,” Chrysalis said with a roll of her eyes. “She’s all yours, then. Do whatever you want with her, but let me know when I can have her emotions. I’m going to get a snack.” Well, at least this ‘Yona’ didn’t smell yakkish, but the full face of yak fur really wasn’t much better. Thankfully, Yona didn’t hold Starlight in her embrace for long, but she did hold the changeling pod and it’s occupant out at arm’s length to properly look the captive over. “I guess you’re my problem now, Miss…” “Starlight Glimmer,” Starlight snapped.  “Wow, you’re good,” Yona said with a giggle. “Everpony else just gives up by this point and confesses. Father tends to be lenient if you confess, you know.” “The only thing I’m guilty of is being duped by Twilight,” Starlight grumbled. “I don’t know why you are all treating me like I’m some kind of terrorist or something.” “That’s because you are, of course,” Yona said. “And they all deny it at first, too. Major? Do you mind helping me take care of ‘Starlight?’” “Of course, Your Highness,” a nearby unicorn replied, and he hoisted Starlight up in a light blue glow.  If there was any one thing that Starlight prided herself on, it was her ability to read other ponies. Our Town had been founded and populated because Starlight knew how to interpret body language, facial expressions, and the overall bearing of a pony. Convincing a pony to see your point of view was much easier when you could pick out if a pony was receptive or hesitant to what you were saying, and adjust the message accordingly. And, even though she’d never dealt with yaks before, Starlight saw that Yona was just as easy to read as any other pony she’d met. There was an eagerness to please written in her features, along with a youthful curiosity and a certain degree of conviction. She was twice as wide as a pony and a head taller, so she was probably a young yak, one who was on the cusp of leaving home but not quite ready to leave her family yet. Starlight grinned. Young ponies tended to be the most gullible, and she was willing to bet that young yaks were no better.  “So, your name is Yona?” Starlight asked. Chrysalis had been as tight as a clam with information, but Yona would be more forthcoming, with the proper motivations.  “Yes,” Yona replied, with a wary backward glance.  “You’re not at all what I thought a yak would be.”  Yona rolled her eyes. “Let me guess. You were expecting something more along the lines of ‘Hi, my name Yona. Yona is yak. Yak is best at everything, and Yona is best yak. If yak not like something, yak smash!’”  “That’s not quite what I meant,” Starlight said. “I’ve never met a yak before. Where I come from, Yakyakistan is closed off to ponies.” Yona nodded, the two thick braids by her horns bobbing in rhythm with the action. “That was true, ten years ago.” “So how did you end up here in Canterlot?” “Careful, Your Highness,” the guard interrupted. “This one is trying to get intel out of you.” Yona nodded again, but with a grin. “Thank you, Major, but I don’t think my history is a state secret. I’m also quite sure that you already know the answer to your own question,” she finished with a hard glare for Starlight.  “I actually don’t. Believe it or not, but I’m not from this world at all. I was banished by Twilight Sparkle to this weird alternate reality  for the heinous crime of disagreeing with her.” “Twilight Sparkle? Can’t say I’ve heard of her,” Yona replied with a thoughtful look. “But for all I know, you are Twilight Sparkle in disguise.” “What?” Starlight shot, her frustrations having finally hit the boiling point. “You have magic here, so why is it so hard to believe that there’s a way to magically send a pony from one timeline to another?” “Because it’s all just a bit too convenient,” Yona replied with a grin. “You appear out of nowhere, have a story that can’t be verified, and refer to a pony that nopony else has ever heard of. Would you trust yourself, if the situation was reversed?” Starlight had to begrudgingly concede the point, much as she hated to. “I guess I wouldn’t. But I am telling the truth.” “Sure,” Yona said with a knowing glance to the Major and a wink. “But since you are being so insistent about this, I’ll play along for now. Would you like something to eat or to drink while we wait for Father to get home? I’m sure being thrown from one reality to another must be taxing.” Starlight licked her parched lips at the offer of refreshment, and her stomach growled. How long had her battle with Twilight gone on for? “I could use a drink of water,” she admitted. “Let’s head over to the dining hall, then,” Yona announced. “You’ll forgive me for leaving you in the pod for now, but we should be able to take care of your needs all the same.” It was amazing how often food made things better.  Starlight Glimmer had grouced and grumbled about her treatment when she, Yona, and the guard had first arrived in the dining hall. She wanted out of her restraints, and being propped up in a chair like she was some sort of rag doll at a little filly’s pretend tea time was beneath her dignity. But after Yona provided several pitchers of water for her to drink and a surprisingly delicious rosemary salad, Starlight’s mood had improved considerably. Now that she was full and hydrated, she could figure out how to get out of this mess she was in and get back to the cutie mark map table thing.  “So, you never answered my question from earlier,” Starlight casually said with a small grin. If she could befriend Yona before her father got back, then the yak would be on Starlight’s side as she negotiated for her freedom. “How did you end up here in Canterlot?” The Major grunted somewhere behind them, but Yona grinned and ignored the interruption. “How do you think I got here?” “I don’t know. Maybe you’re an exchange student or something,” Starlight mused. “You keep mentioning a ‘father,’ so I guess you’ve been adopted by a pony?” “There you go,” Yona said. “Forgive me, but why would a pony adopt you?” Starlight’s mind continued to work, and she found this riddle was refreshingly stimulating. “If you’re an orphan, wouldn’t the yaks want to keep you with one of your own kind?” “Do you have a problem with yaks and ponies being together?” Yona asked, her face and voice devoid of humor. “No, not at all!” Starlight hastily said. “I just meant that the yaks in my time are very isolantonalist. It’s hard for me to believe that they would let a yak be adopted by ponies when there’s plenty of yak families who would love to take a child in. Why would they send you away from Yakyakistan?” Yona chuckled. “It’s difficult to keep someyak in a place that no longer exists, wouldn’t you say?” “What?” the gears in Starlight’s head began to grind as she thought this over. “Wait. Are you telling me that Yakyakistan was destroyed, somehow?” Yona nodded with a sly grin. “I doubt this is news to you, if we’re being honest with each other.” “But, but…” Starlight tried to wrap her brain around this information, but the mental reach wasn’t nearly long enough to get all the way around. “But how could that happen? What could possibly be strong enough to take out the Yaks? Why didn’t the ponies come help? There’s no way Princess Celestia and Princess Luna would have just sat back and done nothing to help.” Yona shrugged. “I suppose they would have helped us, if they’d been around to do so.” “Not around?” Starlight tried to give Yona an incredulous look, despite the restraints of her pod. “Oh, c’mon. You expect me to believe that something happened to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, too?” Yona sat back and giggled. “You’re a really good actress, I have to say. I’m almost convinced that you don’t know anything about what happened.” “I don’t!” Starlight protested. “First the changelings in the Crystal Empire, then yaks in Canterlot, and no Princesses? C’mon! There’s no way the future could be messed up this badly! Did Twilight put all of you up to this?” “I think you are the one who needs to drop the act,” Yona replied with a deep scowl. “I don’t appreciate it when somepony says I’m lying to them.” “But what in Equestria could be powerful enough to take out Princess Celestia and Princess Luna?” Starlight said. “Tirek,” another voice cut in, and Yona gasped in delight. “Ota! You’re back already!” Starlight felt the chair beneath her rumble and vibrate as Yona charged the speaker, but she couldn’t see who it was. “I thought it would take you longer.” “I teleported back here as soon as I got Chrysalis’ message,” the unknown pony replied. “Is this ‘Starlight,’ then?” “Yes. I just gave her some water and a little bit of food. Be careful with this one, Father. She’s tricky.” “Well, let’s not be rude. Why don’t you introduce me?”  Starlight braced herself for anything as her chair was spun around. With the way things were going in this bizzare place, she was probably going to be introduced to a talking kumquat. She wasn’t too far off, but at least this pony looked familiar, for a change of pace.  “Miss Starlight Glimmer, I presume?” His Royal Highness, Prince Baked Bean dipped his head in greeting. “My apologies for keeping you waiting. I see you’ve already met my daughter, Princess Yona, and the loyal-but-usually-silent Major Reinforcements. A pleasure to have you here in my home.” “Prince Bean?” Starlight’s confusion forced the name to come out as a question as she looked the prince over. Though she had only met the commoner-turned-husband once before, she distinctly recalled that he was about her age, a bit overweight since he was a cook, and he was supposed to have an earthy brown mane and yellow coat. This Baked Bean looked like he’d to tartarus, set up shop, and lived with the demons there for several years before finally being kicked out. He had to be at least ten years older than she was now, with streaks of grey in his mane, around his ears, and at the tip of his tail. Deep lines were carved into his face, especially around his eyes, and the yellow of his coat had faded out to more of a pale, sun bleached coloration. This Bean was thinner, too—far too thin, in fact. Starlight noted, with a bit of shock, that his face looked pinched, and that she could see the faint outline of rib and hip bones.   “Not what you were expecting, I take it?” this Baked Bean said with a wry grin. “Better get used to disappointments around here, I’m afraid. Now then! Why don’t we see who you really are, what say?” Starlight didn’t get a chance to reply. The prince, she now noticed, held some sort of staff in his hoof, something like her own fake Staff of Sameness but with a multihued crystal mounted at the top. A strand of golden magic lept from the crystal before her astonished eyes, but then she cried out in pain when the magic turned itself into a bolt, pierced the pod, and hit her square in the chest.  The cry turned into a scream, and if she could have, Starlight would have pulled herself into a tight ball as a burning agony ran just under the surface of her coat and threatened to rip her skin off her body. She began to convulse, and she knocked herself out of her chair as she tried desperately to do something—anything—to get away from the agony of being ripped apart from the inside out.  The pain cut out as soon as it had begun, but the aftereffects continued to burn as Baked Bean withdrew the staff. Starlight drew in deep, ragged breaths as the burning cooled, but Prince Bean looked pleasantly confused as he approached her position and glanced her over.  “Father?” Yona asked. “What’s going on?” “There’s no illusion spell,” the Prince replied in a contemplative voice. “This is Starlight Glimmer.” “But, how can that be?” Yona asked, but the Prince didn’t answer her. His head dropped to her level, and for several long moments, he studied her anguished expression.  “How very interesting,” he said in a pleased whisper. * * ✹ * * “I am sorry about what happened, Miss Glimmer,” Prince Bean offered once more as he guided his unexpected guest through one of the maze-like hallways in the palace. “I hope you can forgive me.” Starlight smiled and shook her head slightly. Guilt was a wonderful tool in the hooves of a skilled manipulator such as herself, and with the Prince’s guilt now at her disposal, she was going to play him like a harp. “It’s fine, Your Highness. The pain is starting to subside slightly, and I’m sure I’ll be fine in a few hours.” “Just over here.” Prince Bean motioned to a door, and Starlight paused as he pushed it open. “Please, after you.” Starlight entered, and her smile grew. This was more like it! A private room, stuffed with velvet pillows and plush lounges awaited inside, complete with warm candlelight and one of those decorative fruit basket centerpieces on a large round table in the center of it all. Her magic plucked an apple from the offering, and she grunted with delight as the sweet tang of the ambrosia danced across her tongue.  She could get used to living like this.  “May I offer you something to drink?” Prince Bean asked, bringing Starlight back to earth. Yona had just entered the room, and in her hooves, she carried three snifters and a tall bottle of what looked like brandy on a silver tray. The liquor alone probably cost more bits than Starlight could ever see in her lifetime, and she nodded as Yona set the tray on the table. “I think I would enjoy that very much, Your Highness, thank you.” Yona grinned as she picked up the bottle, then held it out at an angle in both hooves for Starlight to inspect. “You’ll enjoy this one, Miss Glimmer. An hors d'âge ugni blanc from the most fertile regions of Prance. This particular brand is renowned for its rich notes of honey, oak, and nuts that gives way to a full-bodied taste and smooth finish.” “It smells amazing,” Starlight remarked when Yona began to pour. “I doubt I’ve ever had anything so elegant before.” “Then you are in for a treat,” Prince Bean said, and he thanked Yona when she passed a half-full snifter to him. “And an excellent selection for the evening, Yona.” “I learned from the best.” Yona raised her glass with a smile. “To health, to life, and to Celestia.” “To Celestia,” Prince Bean repeated, and the three took a long moment to properly enjoy the first sip. Starlight didn’t want to pull the glass away, but it would probably be bad manners to chug the contents of the snifter all at once. She smacked her lips as the delicate taste teased and tickled her mouth, and she couldn’t help but take a long sniff of the elegant aromas.  “Quite extraordinary, isn’t it?” Prince Bean said with a bob of his eyebrows. “Almost as extraordinary as you are, Miss Glimmer.” “I have got to find a bottle of this stuff when I get home,” Starlight dreamily said as she slumped down on the nearest pile of pillows.  “I’m glad you like it. Now then! If you don’t mind, I think both of us have some questions that we’d like to have answered,” said Bean. “Why don’t we start with you. Obviously, you are not the Starlight Glimmer that Yona and I know, so where did you come from? How did you get here?” Starlight hesitated. She needed to keep Prince Bean on her side, and one wrong word could undo it all and get her banished to a jail cell somewhere. “That is a long story, Your Highness. I’m not sure where I should begin.” “Understandable,” Bean said with a knowing nod. “Take your time.” “I suppose the best place to begin is with Twilight Sparkle,” Starlight said after several moments of thought. “You see, I was the mayor of a small hamlet in my time, a humble place that was an oasis of tranquility in a raging sea of confusion and doubt. The ponies that lived there were happy, and it was my greatest pleasure to show them their place and purpose in life. “But then Twilight and her friends came to town one day, supposedly sent by a magical map to ‘solve’ a problem that didn’t exist.” Starlight took another sip of her brandy, mostly so she could concoct the next part of her story. “I should have known from the beginning that she would be trouble, I suppose, but they were adamant that they were just there to help. Before I knew what was happening, they were organizing mobs and sowing seeds of anger and malice among the population, eager to destroy what I had labored so hard to create. I tried to stop them, to share why we were happy, but she was determined to destroy everything that I’d created in the name of ‘friendship.’ Eventually, she convinced the locals to run me out of town, and I became a wanted fugitive simply because I didn’t share the same beliefs that she did. “But that wasn’t enough,” Starlight went on, the momentum of her story growing steadily. “I tried to stay out of sight while I waited for the whole thing to blow over, but Twilight eventually found me and challenged me to a duel. I didn’t want to fight her, of course, but she left me with no choice, and I defended myself against her attacks.  “Twilight grew more frantic when she saw that I wouldn’t yield, so in desperation, she created a time travel portal and threw me into it. The next thing I knew, I was falling through the air over the Crystal Empire, and then Queen Chrysalis captured me. It’s sad what lengths a pony will go to just to spite another pony, especially if that pony has something that they don’t.”    “I know that all too well,” Bean said with a distant look, but in an instant, his gaze returned to the visitor. “I suppose this means you’re looking for a way to return to your own time, yes?” “I am. While I do appreciate your hospitality, this world just isn’t mine. I’m sure you’d want the same thing, if you’d been flung into my world.” “Perhaps,” Bean said thoughtfully. “Tell me, what happened to Princess Celestia in your time?” “Celestia?” Starlight was a bit confused by the question, but she saw no harm in answering truthfully. “Well, I’m not quite sure what you mean. Nothing’s really happened to her, or at least nothing that would keep her from ruling Equestria. She raises the sun everyday, just like always, and I understand most days are quite busy for her.” Bean shared a brief glance with Yona, and a grin began to grow on his face. “Wait. You mean to tell me that Princess Celestia is still in Canterlot, and that she still rules Equestria?” “Uh, yeah?” Starlight said. Bean leaned forward with an eager expression. “And, in your timeline, am I married to her?” “You are,” she confirmed. “Last I heard, you and she just had a newborn foal.” “A foal?!” Bean gasped and recoiled with a delirious laugh. “Don’t tease me, Miss Glimmer! Are you serious? Did Celestia and I really have a baby filly together?” “Colt, actually,” Starlight said. “But yes. I don’t remember what you named him, but the foal was definitely a boy.” “A colt,” Bean repeated as he slumped back and chuckled. “Celly and I had a colt together.” “I don’t understand,” Starlight went on. “Hasn’t all of this happened to you here?” “I’m afraid not, Miss Glimmer,” Baked Bean said with a shake of his head. “But just knowing that I got my Celestia back cheers me far more than you could possibly ever understand.” “Back? Did the Princess go somewhere?” Bean took a moment to throw back a shot of brandy before clearing his throat. “Much as it pains me to say it, yes. In this time and place, there are no more princesses.” “You mentioned Tirek earlier,” Starlight said with a thoughtful frown. “So, what happened to them? In my time, Tirek was defeated.” “That must be where our histories diverge,” Bean mused aloud. “Interesting. But I suppose it was a seminal event, so it makes some sense.  “Miss Glimmer, I won’t bore you with the details of how Celestia and I met, but I would presume that the circumstances were similar.” “You booped her nose with yours and had to marry her because of an ancient law she wrote?” Starlight asked, and Bean nodded. “Exactly. At first, she was cold and distant, and I figured that I would be nothing more than a prop to her, a pony she could pull into her busy schedule when she needed to look good for a crowd and their cameras."