Just a Franconian (Germany) lass who enjoys drawing cartoon ponies. Sometimes I write about them, too.
Brighteyes, gentry optician and husband to an adventurous wife, leads a comfortable life in Canterlot. But when crisis strikes Equestria, he finds his little world shattered piece by piece.
The story is set in the Weedverse created by kudzuhaiku. Reading the other stories is not mandatory, but there are spoilers for one event in The Perilious Romance of Swans, so be warned.
Page generated in 0.103 seconds
Total duration
1,060 users online
2,157,139 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Should be "Known" only problem I noticed without watching for spelling errors specifically. I will say I am interested in finding out what happens next. Although it is weird having a story set in a Kudz universe without Kudz being the writer.
I think that's 'trough'
major
this
at
Couple of typos that seem to creep in regularly on this site, hope the mods run around with some expand-a-foam soon to fill in those holes they're getting in.
Interesting to see how this optician will be focused on in the next chapter. Hope he'll bridge every adventure in a good frame of mind
Nice introductory chapter.
Oh dear, we going to see what happens in Manehatten? Wonder how that will go.
Is it "Brighteyes" or "Bright Eyes"?
Don't get me wrong; your story, your names, I get that. But I think the name would be more distinct if it were the second spelling.
I'm excited.
Feels like ya just need an editor to go. over it, written pretty well, plot flows well, just need someone to go through and fix the minor grammar errors you missed.
7697100
7697032
Thank you for pointing them out. Writing in a language that is not your mother tongue is always a bit tricky, I promise to scan more carefully in the next chapters.
7697291
A bit maybe, but this story is mostly about the painful vagueness in a time of crisis, about not knowing what exactly is happening and if your best friends are even still alive. And how our protagonist is going to cope with all of that.
Looks quite good so far. My mental autocorrect slid over most of the syntactic bloopers (powered as it was by a small infusion of ethanol...), but it's shaping up to be interesting.
I'm sure that's "though"
This story seems a bit ambiguous, but it's just started, so I can assume the awesomeness comes later :3
7698340
No, TheBruteKiller is right. I meant trough and slid in a typo.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bf/Horse_trough_in_ForsythSt_Wagga.jpg
That thing.
7698357 I appear to not have read the context. thank you for correcting me
7698009
Wait English is not your mother language?!?
Well I can say from what I have seen you have a very good grasp on it. I did not notice anything wrong. Then again I barely passed grammar and such so yah.
Anyway mind if I ask what is your mother language?
.
So that's what this story is about....I like it and I very interested in how this continues.
-----------
Also since you're not kuzu am I correct in assuming this is non-cannon to this verse?
Have a like and I'll file this into my traking folder for now.
7698960
Isn't globalization fun.
I'm German.
I had English in school since my third year of elementary school. But you don't learn good and fluent English in school, so I watched a lot of shows and cartoons in English. Also because some are not available over here or I'm not so fond of the dubs - and I get new episodes earlier this way.
And, of course, I read a lot of fanfiction here. Reading kudz' stories is an excellent idea to expand your vocabulary and better your English.
It helps me at work, too. I work in Ansbach at a chemist's, we have Katterbach and the US Army right next door. And tourists, of course. Loads and loads of Asian tourists.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I wrote kudz a PM explaining my idea and clearing some concerns of mine, and then there was this post in the forum. Semi-canon? Similar to the MLP-comics, I suppose.
Besides, I'm not planning to introduce huge worldbuilding concepts in this story, it's going to be more of a character piece.
7697301 As a comparison it's no worse than Fluttershy
7699205 Cool
You have my attention.
Good start.
This caught my eye,
The "check some points" confuses me. I'm going to assume you meant to check off some items from the check list, if so, then I would recommend, "...update his To-Do lists and check off some items, such as cleaning...".
Awaiting next chapter.
7697301
Sorry for my late reply to this comment.
Brighteyes is not his full name. He is a member of the gentry, and let us just say, some parents who feel entitled go overboard. Big time.
This is going to come up in a later chapter.
7701016
Yes, I was a bit torn on that. Now that I think about it again, yeah, it is better that way. I'll change it.
7704169
Not a problem, I understand.
And that makes sense, that it's not his full name.
Thanks for taking the time to explain(ish)
Implications that Scramble Patch and Peafowl are part of a certain Manehattan-based society. Intriguing.
7719129
Readers of Venenum Iocus might remember them.
They made a little OC contest cameo here.
7719195
Sneaky.
While kudz focuses on the main characters and their emotions, I like this approach of uncertainty from a background pony.
Take my thumbs up, you scoundrel
7719289
I found it interesting to have a couple where not both are into adventuring unlike with Tarnish and Maud or Vinyl and Octavia.
Thank you.
Yes, he's so qualified for background pony that it hurts sometimes.
7719359 Or Sumac and Pebble.
7719420
How could I forget.
I like it!
Going great! I am furthest from being proficient with grammar I did spot a Manhatten or two in there, approximately 5 paragraphs up from the bottom.
7723107
Found it! Thank you for pointing out.
awesome work here, looking forward to more.
Eh, the dialogue is pretty good.
Next?
7746245
Next chapter? Pretty soon, as I wrote this and the next as one and then saw the word count.
No real comments. The story is rather middle of the road and straight forward so far. Seems a simple enough tale of one pony's awakening that he can help to make a difference; nothing really dramatic or earth shattering.
I'm now wondering will this be all there is, a simple story to tell a simple tale? If so, that is fine. We need those just as much as we need glorious epics. They remind us that stories don't have to be about a glamorous hero that saves the world on their own. On the other hand, it could be a slow build to a much larger epic that spans the world. Only time will tell. (Oh, and the author; the author will tell. If not, we're all in for a very abrupt ending.
I await further chapters. Please continue.
I rather liked the dialogue, it reflects a lot of anger and confusion and frustration which is common in these times. Brighteyes comes into focus as more of an average character, instead of some walking superpony. I really can't wait to see where your going with him.
7746740
It is going to be rather short, there are about three chapters left as far as I can tell.
And yes, this story is going to be a simple tale.
Sigh. I suppose I am stuck waiting again.
OK, I just learned something new. I had never run across the phrase, "in a trice" before. Had a vague idea, but still had to look that one up to confirm the definition. Thx.
7750865
Now you know what's it's like to be the rest of us.
7750882
Why is this so good?
Also, I sincerely hope there's an epilogue that's set in the future where Brighteyes and Scramble Patch are swamped by children.
7750878
Truth be told, neither did I before writing this.
I could not see Brighteyes using 'in a flash' in his head, so I searched for an alternative and I liked how this phrase sounded.
I am actually really fond of seeing everything through the eyes of a more ignorant Commoner. It's a very unique take on Kudzu's Weed 'Verse. Not a hero, not some unique creature like a GOOD Harpy, just a simply stallion in dark times.
of?
7876801
Fixed. Thanks for pointing it out. And the favourite.
7878131 Forgot to add this to my tracking list when I read the first chapter, only noticed more chapters when I was glancing through Weed World.
I remember Helianthus.
Well done on the referencing! Bravo.
7922552
She's awesome.
I had to include her somewhere.
7922571 she really is.
you