After Equestria's defeat at the hands of Sombra, their navy fled in an effort to evade capture. Years later, this forsaken fleet scours the world in an effort to survive, grow, and eventually get the power necessary to reclaim their homeland.
Rarity has heard many tales of the doomed Equestrian fleet, but dreaded the day those ships would visit her homeland.
A Commission for Undome Tinwe. Many thanks to him for sponsoring this endeavour. If you'd be interested in a commission let me know!
Proofread by ever astute boyfriend, RoMS. He'll provide six pages of editing notes for a five page story.
Featured in Round 168 of Seattle's Angels!
Chapters (1)
Mmm, I've missed reading stuff like this. Steampunk fantasy is an aesthetics I love, and you've managed to bring a fascinating world to life in just a few thousand words. Not to mention Rarity is in top form the whole time, the little bit of RariTwi interactions we got at the end were also great.
Loved this exchange. It's always great to see Rarity's Generosity on display.
Yeah I love to see this flesh out more. I wonder how bad Shining will become and do the other Rulers like Celestia and Luna know what is going on and do they condone it?
10086409
Had to adhere to my RariTwi quota as per the commissioner :P
10086445
The implication is that Celestia and Luna are uh... no longer with us. But glad you enjoyed it, thank you for the feedback and like!
This is certainly a cool setting i'd like to see more of
Not only would I like to see this fleshed out more, but I'd also like to see this expanded into a novel-like story. There's enough in this glimpse of the world to pique my curiosity and greedily occupy my inspiration. I wouldn't know where to begin to describe how much I loved this story, it would honestly be akin to counting each point on an uncountably infinite list of points on a piece of paper. But I'll do my best.
Each character seemed real like they've lived their lives in this environment that tested them too many times to count. The motivations of almost all of the main players were under strain, which drove them to all manner of things they wouldn't do otherwise. All but one, Rarity. Even in what seems to me to be dystopian pressure, her generosity and optimism remained above it. It didn't seem forced or out of place either, it felt natural.
The descriptions of everything in this story made me envision a rundown world that refused to die, even if it was sputtering to survive. Within this struggle for survival, I saw efficiency on the Canterlot. Everything was there and doing something, nothing was left idle because idleness was impossible aboard it. The idea of a population of a once prosperous nation being reduced to, and having to persist on, their Navy is fascinating. Even the smaller things like character's appearances and actions weren't spared from your literary Midas touch.
I wouldn't be surprised if this made the top of the featured list, in fact, I'd be disappointed if it didn't. This was beyond excellent and I'd happily share this with anyone, even out of the fandom. Beyond a fantastic job to you, and your editor! Your work shows.
10086480
Glad you're enjoying it!
10086488
Holy shit, that is quite the comments. Thank you so so much for the nice words, this fic was honestly a blast to write and I'm honestly super happy that people are gobbling it up like this. Thank you so much for the comment and a like (if you left one)
This was truly a good read I must say. An expanded universe may be needed.
Neat. Unfortunately for Equestria though, I can't help but feel that their little resistance is a doomed effort. A powerful navy can protect or deny resources, and destroy coastal defenses or cities, but they're not exactly renowned for having bodies to spare for things like ground invasions. For that matter, they don't typically have the bodies to spare for occupations either.
Shock and awe is certainly intimidating, but what exactly is Plan B if the other side says "No, and to hell with the price?"
10086502
my editor pretty much summed this up as the best first chapter to an entire epic.
10086529
i mean fair point but you try and tell them to put down their arms :P
This does feel like the prologue to a greater tale of imperialistic struggle. I love this.
10086540
Speak softly and carry a big stick. Don't get me wrong, it's terribly effective, at least for a while.
The problem is as soon as you shift gears from speaking softly to using the big stick, the people you're using the stick on suddenly have no reason to go along with what you want. "I don't want to be next" is a very different sentiment from "I'm dead anyway, might as well take you with me."
This was a fantastic start to this AU. I could visualize the setting clearly, and just how the Equestrian society works (except perhaps how they first got material for their ships). I admit, I was wondering if the pony part would be that relevant as the story went through its first half, but you did a great job reimagining Shining, Cadance, and Twilight for this world, and we saw the beginnings of how Rarity would interact with them. It'd be a shame if this was all we saw.
I loved reading and proofing this piece, and would also love it if it ever gets a follow-up.
This short has such a great steampunk epic vibe.
10086673 Communism starts out using the big stick. Then picks up a bigger one with spikes. Then gives the smaller stick to its henchmen and lets them take out their frustrations on the unarmed populace
But eventually, Coronachan shows up.
Maybe his name should be Shadowed Armor, given that he's apparently sinking rapidly to Sombra's level.
I have to be in the right mood to read dark like this, but it does seem like you have something you could easily build on here.
I think this would make a great AU. Full of potential worldbuilding and adventure. Plus the mystery of where certain characters could be discovered.
Nice :3
Well...since you asked so nicely....
10086852
I imagine making such a comparison to his face is not the wisest choice.
10087241
Probably not, though that fact sort of proves the point.
Very nice indeed :)
I really want to see the Equestrians invade. And lose. They are obviously tyrants and monsters. I imagine that the world has moved on, and forgotten them. They will be the terrible invaders, slavers and scum, and deserve nothing but scorn and destruction.
I need to see more, and I kind of want Celestia, Luna, and maybe Flurry, to turn out not to be dead but captured by Sombra. Even now, he is torturing, perhaps experimenting on the unique alicorn biology. Reason for experimentation? He wants to be immortal, or something classic like that. Cadence being old in this case might be because she found a way to destroy her immortality, making her non-viable as a test subject. Reason for torture? He’s a sadist angry that the country is still alive in any sense whatsoever, and looking to take it out on the rulers and heir he captured
You may desire to place this in the Battleships group.
Also, Yes! I would read more.
So when is this going anywhere, eh?
10151079
*Sobs into my endless commission queue*
E-eventually
10151089
Bruh, toss some of those my way. I'll freely sacrifice your revenue for my time if it gets me more airships.
You ask that like the answer isn't already YES! On point historical fantasy fun that is filled with magic and intrigue can't just end here! There was even badass Rarity, Blues, Shiny, and you teased the name Sombra how dare you.
gib me epic imperialism pls ;~;
I am not impressed with Rarity's people at all and their attempts at ignoring the outside world
Interesting read. Though I hope it wasn’t meant to inspire sympathy for the Equestrians, ’cause the slavery and cold-blooded murder just makes me think they deserve to get wiped out anyway. That said, I’d also be interested in seeing this fleshed out.
Oof. Oof. This is brutal and unflinching and fantastic. Though it hurt my heart to read, I am loving this whole "looked too long into the abyss" take for the Equestrians, in that their "righteous" rebellion has eventually made them no better than what they fight. I find it particularly interesting how Cadance seems to have begun weaponizing her grief to manipulate her subjects into resenting those her husband abuses.
You can has review!
This was great! Are we ever going so see more?
Oh man, I thought I was reading the first part of a larger fic. Super disappointed when there was no “next chapter” link. This was great, wish there had been more.
>Good men don’t execute innocent people in front of an audience
Do they execute innocent people without an audience? For that matter, do they execute people at all?
Hello! Have a review. Well, this was a harsh AU indeed. The human Rarity's generosity really shines through and helps stop this from being a total grimfest, though it's probably still a little dark for my personal preference. Fascinating world-building, and as others have said it's a shame there was never a sequel. Even though it's not entirely aligned with my own tastes, it's certainly well worth a like.