To: Anon, From HRH Sunbutt.

by Snow

From HRH Celestia, RE: Letter 100

Author's Note:

Happy letter 100.

Which is found: Here.

To my most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,

Let me begin by saying that I am aware that Necromancy as a field of magic does have positive applications. It is, in fact, the single best means by which to repair rapid cell reproduction defects. Your applications of the field are, admittedly creative, and have been used to positive effect.

With that having been said, I am unconvinced that given your penchant for experimentation and singleminded focus to the detriment of yourself and others lend themselves to a field wherein you could accidentally reduce yourself to a lower form of undead, torment the souls of the dead, torment the souls of the living, or accidentally create yet another outbreak of carnivorous pony-eating monstrosities. And that's before you get creative. Necromancy is not wholly evil, but the reasons most pertinent for why you, in particular, should cease delving into this topic include, in no particular order:

• Lack of dark magic psychological effect screening, reduction, and prevention training
• Refusal to adhere to established magical development, study, and experimentation standards
• Refusal to adhere to proposed magical development, study, and experimentation standards I made explicitly for you
• Skewed risk/reward views
• Luna is sick of cleaning up after your mistakes
• Ponyville's zombie preparedness rating is far too low for a practicing necromancer to live within town borders (or nearby)
• No licensed biomancers are willing to move to Ponyville to repair accidental zombification, flesh-rotting spells, or what Anon describes as 'Silent Hill' events.
• Your stipend does not cover any of the appropriate fees
• You could not afford the Necromancer's tax (Anything you raise which is capable of generating an income is required to pay taxes equivalent to the income it could be generating)
• Luna does not have the spare time to teach you
• Necromancy continues to be illegal
• You would not look good in black leather and/or spikes.

Twilight, necromancers traditionally recieve a single 'cease and desist' warning before they are imprisoned for not just the good of whatever town lives closest, but their own wellbeing.

You cannot read books if your soul has been mutilated by a backfired experiment, Twilight. Well, one of piece of it might retain enough cohesion to read picture books but I'm pretty sure you've read all of those when you were a filly.

Your loving mentor,
Princess Celestia

PS. I am not saying 'no, never.' I am saying 'Put this aside for the forseeable future.'

Comments

[Moonlight_Mist]

PS. I am not saying 'no, never.' I am saying 'Put this aside for the forseeable future.'

Which is how she tells Twilight 'no, never', but Twilight still hasn't caught on because her mind is ever working and if she runs into a temporary blockade of progress she's bound to find something new to study. The softer language that doesn't present itself as something wholly immovable is to prevent Twilight from seeing it as an obstacle to be cleverly worked around or a test. Let's be honest here.

[Captain Nitpick]

It is, in fact, the single best means by which to repair rapid cell reproduction defects.

Necromancy is the cure for cancer. Who knew?

[Goldspoon]

You would not look good in black leather and/or spikes.

I disagree.

[LonePigeon]

9991354
Maybe her highness miswrote and was referring to Twilight not looking good in black leather of Spike's
Who knows what sorts of 'special occasion' accessories he's acquired in his quest to attract Rarity's attention.

[BradtheBrony]

9991354
Plenty of Rule 34 agrees with you.

[Officer Hotpants]

9991354 9991514
Celly's just afraid that Twilight would wear it better.

pbs.twimg.com/media/D9tST0IWwAIePV_.jpg

[Thatguywiththeface]

Yes, let's not turn Ponyville into Silent Hill

[WorldWalker128]

I wonder if there is an arcane language in both written and spoken form in this world. Ponies and a few other races obviously don't need it as magic comes naturally to them, but what of the others?
Assuming that there IS an arcane written language, and that it is fairly simple to learn, that would mean that Anon could learn to use magic, albeit he'd effectively need to 'program' it on a sheet of paper, scroll of animal hide, carve into stone or ice, or some-such. At the most, I imagine he'd make a single scroll and carry it around with him exclusively for the purpose of cooling a can of soda or popping a bag of popcorn. Just unroll it, and place the object on the Obvious Red X in the middle, and wait two minutes, thirty seconds. Complete with "Ding!" noise when it's done.
I'd laugh if Anon used something like that to prove to Twilight that he can use magic, he's just too lazy for it and it's simpler (and better, and smarter, and most importantly, SAFER) to use his hands to get most things done instead. This, of course, would irk the heck out of Twiggles because "if you can use magic, why would you just throw it away?!"
Anon: "Because it's a waste of time when I can just walk across the room and pick it up with two fingers, Purple Dumb."

[Venerable Ro]

So we agree my proposal is sound in theory, and now we're just haggling over price.

It sounds to me like Equestria is quite knowledgeable about necromancy, and the princesses have determined that the benefits are not worth the problems.

[gakposter]

• You would not look good in black leather and/or spikes.

I’ve seen multiple fan art pieces that say otherwise.

[Bookwurm666]

You could not afford the Necromancer's tax (Anything you raise which is capable of generating an income is required to pay taxes equivalent to the incomei t could be generating)

That sounds like a bureaucracy view

[Alicon Glactistar]

incomei t

Make it whole again.

[Fregith]

You would not look good in black leather and/or spikes.

While Twilight might well indeed look good in spikes and black leather, Tia is trying to lure Sunset back. She likely wants to limit things that might put her off until she knows whether Sunset would mind her rival raiding her closet.

[Pseudonymous]

9991681
No, see, that's the clever part.
You can rarely get them on the major crimes, but tax evasion? Tax evasion will ALWAYS bring them down. And since the tax is on the income they COULD be generating, not what they DO generate, that means even the largest budget would be rapidly bled out.

[Raistlin]

9991295

I suspect Luna's response regarding the possibility of teaching necromancy to Twilight was... less than educated.

[Mister-H]

Can't argue with the Luna points. I'd be pretty sick of flying to another town over and over just to clean up someone's mess.

[Disguised]

9992129
She used the traditional royal canterlot voice.
The letter is just a physical reminder of the answer for Twilight to keep, penned after everyone in Canterlot, Cloudsdale and Ponyville recieved Lunas reply.