Letter 60: Here.
To my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,
Thank you for giving consideration to untested magic prior to casting it on yourself, though now I believe I'm going to have to dispatch a team to find that shrew and reverse the spell. It's probably in a great deal of pain, after all... and this is rather how species like cragodiles, spiderflies, and woodpeckers get started and it'd probably be best to head that off. We don't need a crawling jungle roaming around the desert.
As for untested magic, I was referring to the official guidelines toward testing a spell before it is cast on a subject, including having somepony else review your design and idea for flaws.
Still I do hope this lesson sticks with you awhile, though I do wish it weren't quite so terrible to experience.
Your loving mentor,
Princess CelestiaPS. In the future, a simple dowsing spell is usually sufficient to find a source of water and plant life, a detoxification spell functions perfectly well on cacti, and telekinesis can strip the barbs easily. Try to consider simple solutions first, my faithful student.
Dear Anon,
Earth Ponies generally do the same thing. Some even claim the plants respond in kind. I suggest you don't think too hard on it.
Penned by,
HRH Celestia
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9887235
Humans can't even decide if a movement of the head up and down means 'yes' or 'no'.
Body language is largely cultural for us, and possibly for ponies, so it's not that strange that someone would get mixed messages.
EDIT: Plus, think about it. A soft brush might mean interest, but a harsh swat could mean anything from (get your face away from there, that's not for you) to (Do I have to pin you down?).
. . . I’m sorry, you wanna run that by me again?
9887297
I know, some monster thought it would be a great idea to give spiders wings so they could catch annoying gnats easier.
9887297
I don't know... Seeing a black widow with wings would scare the living Fk out of me.
9887315
A tarantula the size of a dinner plate that sounds like a hummingbird as it flutters past.
And because this is Equestria, it would wave chipperly as it did.
9887303
9887315
I was talking more about the “woodpecker”, than the Flyders.
9887334
I... never thought about that until you pointed that out just now
9887330
That's even worse in my book... and serves as a legal reason to kill it with fire
9887334
9887341
Haha! Ratings, darlings! Woodpeckers are living wooden birds like timberwolves that eat tree parasites.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it outside of a Mature rating.
9887356
Fair enough I guess. I'll just... take these Everfree Safari tickets and throw them in the fireplace then. Have a wonderful day, good sir!
How are woodpeckers created by messing with something using spells and leaving it?
Don't we, though?
I’m actually not mad about this one. You end up scared, mentally and physically, but you still survive.
9887361
Some mad scientist turned a poor birds dick to wood and left it as an offering to Discord. The males are constantly stiff, and the females never did come to appreciate the leaves on their partner meant for extra pleasure
Spiderflies.
I... I need a flamethrower.
9887372
I’m with FOME, that sounds great
9887356
Mature rating? You don't mean... Oh my!
Ah magic for all your nightmare causing creature blends.
Also don't forget about Owlbears, Bugbears and Wolfspiders.
Has Anon even come close to a month of Twilight not relearning a lesson?
you jinxed it snow
yt3.ggpht.com/GTmGiy6eYh6-NGpzAjKrbiAd_uJUXT98pK3XBjIcRQ2-hIj9YQGTvZIkdQzAbjL6Wqx6hEVbu8Z0=s404-nd
9893194
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
9893510
Don't worry, it's fake.
9895916
Yeah but they're a thing in Equestria.
... if we can make it without the agony, that doesn't actually sound like a bad idea, to be honest... I mean, probably not the best one, either, but all things considered, worth exploring I believe.
... ... these aren't woodpeckers as we know them, are they?
9887252
IIRC only one human culture, just the one, has the head shake reversed.
9919497
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it
9919497
I assume they're literally just dicks made of wood.