• Member Since 26th Sep, 2011
  • online

FanOfMostEverything


"[FoME] manages the impossible combination of being an actual legitimate nerd while staying unabashedly pleasant." —Aragón

E

Equestria is rather notorious for its historical illiteracy. A thousand years guarantees anypony who wasn't there to witness the event won't remember it. Even the passage of a few generations runs the risk of events falling by the wayside.

But some things ponies remember, even if they don't always retain the reasons why they hold onto those memories. Twilight Sparkle just found one, and now she's going to try to find the reasoning behind it.

It's worse than she could ever imagine. On so many levels, it is so much worse.

Inspired by "Corn & Peg," a Nick Jr. cartoon that G4 very well could have been in a much darker timeline. Set in very early Season 8, during the School of Friendship's construction, and assumes that "Spring Breakdown" took place during that time. Blame/thank Estee for this story's existence. No heretics were BLAMMED in the making of this story.

Chapters (8)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 308 )
Georg #1 · Apr 6th, 2019 · · · Taboo ·

Corn and Peg are best... um... Whatever they are.

I expect a very Ponyvillian explanation in the future.

"Yes, Captain Thunderhoof was the winner of the First Most Obscure Pony in Equestria contest."

"First Most... That makes no sense, Rainbow!"

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "She vanished in a burst of light during the award ceremony and never returned. They cancelled the award right after for fear of starting some sort of rift in spacetime."

I could not watch very much of that show, so I only have a slight idea of what this character is. Have my curiosity though.

Thunderhoof's equus au gratin—"

I am now imagining sliced pegasus covered in cheese.

Welp, I'm here! Let's see where this goes.

Well this is certainly going to be interesting.

Yes, I watched it, too. I wanted to yank out my eyes.

Estee #5 · Apr 6th, 2019 · · · Taboo ·

Rumor has it that she changed her name from Tinyhooves shortly after suing her parents for emotional naming abuse.

They're so tiny!

We do not talk about the orangutan.

Oh no.

This isn't a oneshot.

Fan, what horrors do you have waiting for us!?

-GM, master of PANIC.

Inspired by "Corn & Peg," a Nick Jr. cartoon that G4 very well could have been in a much darker timeline.

Care to tell me more?

*sees cover art*

Well. This is now a thing. I find myself disturbingly eager to see where this goes.

Why, Estee? Why did you have to share that abomination with us? I mean, I didn't watch more than 20 seconds, but after Thunderhoof's Sonic Fartboom, I'm glad I didn't. Still, WHY?!

9551078
Go see Estee's latest blog. If you dare.

No. No. No. What are you doing. NO.

Do not conjure by those names.

STOP

Oh dear. somepony actually did it.

I'm not going to be able to look away, am I?

9550945
Good guess, but no.

9550968
Hmm. What wine goes with pegasus?

9551023
She takes after her grandmother.

9551026
:trollestia:

9551078
Follow the link in the long description for more information. Just don't expect much.

9551089
Hey, I sat through the whole thing. You all get to suffer some slim fraction of what I did.

9551143
I've already drawn the circle and gotten thirteen demonology postgrads chanting in backwards Horse Latin. And I am not telling that bunch that the summoning's been cancelled. Not after what happened last time.

9551153
I mean, that's ultimately your decision. I'm just the one who put the trains on the same track and sent them on a collision course.

9550945

Corn and Peg are best... um...

...Lovecraftian abominations? Crimes against nature? Mistakes of God?

Holy cheese, FOME :pinkiegasp:

.....This is gonna be a RIDE, isn't it? :pinkiecrazy:

Woah, this isn't a one-shot.

Lol Scootaloo!

And Fluttershy not knowing... Hmm...

Also, she / he's a Captain... So hmm....

----

Typo:

she could she the hue

she could see the hue

Twilight cut herself off as she found her vision full of angry blue muzzle. "Rule Seven!"

Now I am even more curious what the first six rules are?

Scootaloo snapped off a passable salute. "Got it. We'll be at Town Hall, helping Mayor Mare cope with you turning Ponyville into a college town without her input because alicorn."

Makes you wonder how many other 'because alicorn' changes have been made to the town since Twi got crowned. Though up there is probably the zoning nightmare that is her castle.

9551189
You realize, of course, that S.O.P. requires me to notify the Laundry about the summoning circle. They really don't want unsupervised ones this close to Case Nightmare Green.

No Heretics were BLAMMED???

HERESY!!! *BLAM*

"Pinkie, I didn't send any invitations," said Twilight. "This was a spur-of-the-moment meeting.

Pinkie snorted. "Well there's your first problem."

Pinkie Pie just complained about Twilight not planning something in advance.

9551517
Also about a lack of invitations to a social event. Pinkie knows you need invitations if you want ponies to show up.

9551525
Pinkie could always send the invitations after the fact and count on Star Swirl getting everypony there at the right time. Of course, that didn’t appear to work so well for Sir Stephen Hawking…

This is going to be hilariously terrible, and/or terribly hilarious. :rainbowderp:

"Heh. Yeah, probably. It'd be like the Pinkies meeting."

I fear the Derpies meeting. Rip a hole in the universe, there.

Good story so far!

Ingrained habits collected the book, repaired what little damage hadn't been done to the ground, and assured Lily that the bibliocalypse was not in fact nigh.

Damn Twiggles, what's that book made of? :twilightoops:

Oh, this is going to be good!

So. I watched a bit of the show before reading this. And honestly? It was the typical level of bad I'd expect from a show for toddlers. Better than some of the stuff I watched when I was five. Like Dora the Explorer, with its constant, aggressive pauses for the viewer, or Thomas the Tank engine, which probably did irreparable damage to my psyche:

*Sees thumbnail*
Oh please...please have mercy

I don't know why Thunderhoof's equus au gratin—"

Because they cheesed everypony off? :trollestia:

Twilight met and matched her steely gaze. "With all due respect, Captain, my refusal to let historical mysteries lie is why the sun still rises in the morning. Good day." With a thought, she was gone.

:pinkiegasp::rainbowlaugh: Holy crap, Twilight! I mean, you're not wrong, but still!

For a few seconds, neither pony spoke. Finally, Celestia said, "Did you just assign me homework?"

:rainbowlaugh: I can't even.

Twilight is growing up so fast! I expect Luna finds this absolutely adorable.

I can't help but suspect that "worst" means she was really, really bad at it.

Given my track record and how much effort ponies are making to keep this under wraps, I fully expect a descendant of Thunderhoof to try to take over Equestria at some point in the next five years.

*Cough* Cosy Glow! *cough*

Twilight met and matched her steely gaze. "With all due respect, Captain, my refusal to let historical mysteries lie is why the sun still rises in the morning. Good day." With a thought, she was gone.

Twilight nodded. "True. I'd still like an itemized list of any and all adversaries, national or higher level threats, and other potential concerns who are potentially still at large by the end of the month."

For a few seconds, neither pony spoke. Finally, Celestia said, "Did you just assign me homework?"

"Call it planning for the inevitable."

And in Ponyville, they say, that Twilight's small spine grew three sizes that day. :rainbowlaugh:

Twilight met and matched her steely gaze. "With all due respect, Captain, my refusal to let historical mysteries lie is why the sun still rises in the morning. Good day." With a thought, she was gone.

Only when she began to pace about her castle's main library did she realize she'd broken her previous teleport distance record (unaugmented by extra magic) severalfold.

Nice!

9552136

"Given my track record and how much effort ponies are making to keep this under wraps, I fully expect a descendant of Thunderhoof to try to take over Equestria at some point in the next five years. I'd rather not scramble for more information when the time comes if I can get it now."

Celestia considered this for a stretch, going through an entire cup of tea in the process. Twilight kept quiet, well familiar with her mentor occasionally slipping into such deep contemplation. Finally, Celestia said, "I truly wish I could dispute that."

Sounds like a Thunderhoof descendant might actually be dangerous, so maybe not what you're thinking?

This is tagged Comedy, Mystery, Adventure... So hmm...

----

Typos:

little Spitfire liked other ponies tell her how to run the Wonderbolts

little Spitfire liked other ponies telling her how to run the Wonderbolts

unwelcome enough as it was

Missing end punctuation.

In today's episode, we see both evidence of Twilight suffering from 'princess idiot ball' and paradoxically taking smart, rational precautions. Hrmm... A delightful paradox. I like it.

Also Luna's implied approval is a nice touch.

-GM, master of Refusing To Speak Of The Mare Who Shall Not Be Named.

Spitfire removed her sunglasses so dramatically, Twilight knew that that was why she'd put them on in the first place. "With all due respect, Your Highness, there are some things you should just let lie."

Twilight met and matched her steely gaze. "With all due respect, Captain, my refusal to let historical mysteries lie is why the sun still rises in the morning. Good day." With a thought, she was gone.

For a few seconds, neither pony spoke. Finally, Celestia said, "Did you just assign me homework?"

These exchanges had me grinning like a lunatic.

Celestia looked off into the sky. The first stars were coming into view, but her unfocused gaze wasn't looking at anything in the present moment. "While she was captain of the Wonderbolts, Thunderhoof was the worst warmonger Equestria has seen for centuries."

Welp!

Warmonger...by what standards?

It would only seem plausible that Thunderhoof recruited Peg as her underling and Corn as her grounded spy.

Just on the account that I took Estee's challenge and submitted myself to that teeth-rotting expirience called Peg & Corn, and the snippet posted in the comments that became the title of this, is sufficient reason for me to put it on my to-read list. I'm going to have to work up the courage to start this... This has the potential to be either very good, or very, very bad...

And now, because I'm a total sadist...

We're gonna find out Thunderhoof stole candy from foals, aren't we?

That fiend!

I've heard of a book drop, but this is ridicu(mu)lous.

I hope this does not require homework on our part, because if I have to watch an episode or two of Corn and Peg, (or is it the other way around) to understand it, looks like I'll have to stock up on the booze first.

...what I can only describe as an aggressively polite letter from Captain Spitfire.

:pinkiehappy::yay::pinkiehappy:

I thought Soarin's name was something they'd changed over time, with the apostrophe originally being included, but Soarin now being canonical?

YES!!! Thank you so much for revealing this truth about Thunderhoof and revealing to me what Peg and Corn which I thought was a new revelation about the truth of this world. You are a true apostle of my heart and can't wait to hear what next revelation you will bring forth next.

Also, if you are interested in getting another cover art and want to commission it you can look me up.
https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku

We're about to deal with a heaping helping of Deliberate Values Dissonance, aren't we?

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!