• Member Since 27th Dec, 2016
  • offline last seen Mar 31st, 2020

Essay Jay


Make it count.

Sequels1

  • TShatterproof
    In light of Rainbow's disappearance, Equestria was seen as weak. Rarity, tasked with creating a new defence, is ambushed and taken hostage after a show of her craft, and must now figure out just who is friend and who is foe...
    Essay Jay · 8.6k words  ·  26  0 · 872 views
T

It was all a mistake.

A portal opened up during their Wonderbolts training exercise and Rainbow Dash fell through, saving a teammate in the process... But at a cost. Now stranded in an Equestria that is all but foreign to her, Rainbow Dash must figure out why exactly she is there and what she needs to do to get back.

Yet when something happens that Rainbow could never have been prepared for, she decides that enough is enough. Stricken with guilt and compelled to do what's right, Rainbow finds herself stuck between a rock and a hard place. With her name already meaning nothing so far in the past, she decides to call herself one that she still viewed as the epitome of awesomeness and nobility in all of history...

A Wonderbolt.


Captain America: Pony Style! - Wonder Edition! Find All The Answers In This Fantastic New Addition!

If you haven't already, read the prelude one-shot Daring Do and the Frozen Wonder. I wrote it so the beginning made a little more sense.

If that makes sense.

Chapters (29)
Comments ( 227 )

I feel like this is one of those times where "putting the end at the beginning" kind of ruins the story since now we basically know everything about what's going to happen.

7884657 Do you really?

Girl, do I have a story tell you because this ain't going to be what you think it's going to be. Just saying :ajsmug:

I've also written a one-shot to accompany this story so the beginning makes more sense... so, yeah...

7884671 Well first off we already know Rainbow lives to see her friends again in a sense so there's no more suspense about "oh is she gonna make it? could she fail at all?" and we already know she's succeeded at doing whatever it is that needed to be done.

7884728 Well, that's kind of how Captain America: The First Avenger started. And by kinda, I mean it did.

And with what I've got planned, I assure you it's going to be worth the read.

Hmmmmm... :trixieshiftright:

Interesting premise... I think I will wait till there's more content before perusing though

A toast! To the wonders of time travel and all the confusion it brings.

7884728
As someone who's read and enjoyed many a story like this before, I assure you, just because we know Rainbow's gonna live and succeed doesn't mean there isn't a good story to tell.

talking to your own ancestor, thats not creepy at all. Also the past is more advanced? what the hay? wait.. ugh.. Celestia stop progress?

7902348

talking to your own ancestor,

No.

Also the past is more advanced?

Technically yes, but no.

Celestia stop progress?

More like no. I will give you this; ponies were itching for new inventions in this period of time. Floating in self sustaining magic would eventually be seen as moot. Tech like that would be pushed back as everything ponies need is already around them. They have electricity and tech, they are more than capable of doing so, it's just that the majority of the ponies have no need for it (other than lighting and stuff, but that's already given).

7902676 neat, also i'm fine with them not being distantly related, Ah, i thought as much, as Dash mention planes went obsolete soon. But Firefly did later create the wonderbolts CAUSE OF Dash.. and her ego grew thirty sizes that year. Lol.

So in a way, this is Equestria's Renaissance? kinda.. whatever. Keep up the good work, The self levitating chariot, maybe they still use that concept in present, use a different enchantment so the chariots can stay steady mid air while its being pulled by pegasi? Ever wonder how the hay those things doesn't tilt due to weight placed on it.

Liking it so far! Keep up the good work! Also, if Rainbow seemed a little bit off character in this one then I think I'm blind since I can't see anything off. :twilightblush:

7920328 Thank you! And I appreciate that you (basically but don't take it the wrong way) think Rainbow is not OOC here, thanks again! :pinkiehappy::pinkiesad2:

Poor, poor Dashie. :applecry:

You really captured her desperation in this chapter.

this is a new story that I will say is starting out good.
the prequel is a must read.
I will not vote on this story till I see if it holds together and if the author stays with it.

this story is moving along and it feels like the mane story is still developing.
I will be keeping a eye on this to see ware it goes from hear.

now this story is really starting to steep things up a bit and I am liking it.

Comment posted by Starlight Nova deleted Nov 30th, 2017

7959221 I have a pony already set for Red Skull's position. It's an OC that I'm not willing to share anything about yet...

You'll see soon enough. Also, sorry for the late reply!

7893835 Indeed! To convoluted time travel plots! Hooray! :rainbowdetermined2:

“Bad day…” Rainbow finally said, choosing to fall back into the crater and stare at the suddenly night sky and ponder.
“Very bad day…”

I'm sensing a reference here...:trixieshiftright:

Rainbow seemed a bit too... Okay, with all of this.

So Rainbow Dash is Jackie Chan in this fic? :rainbowlaugh:

This was pretty deep, I'd like to see where it goes from here.

how to make a entrance Rainbow 101.

8155982 she doesn't realize that she went into the past yet.

8157035 Well, duh. Tis quite obvious. Speech quirk, if you were wondering.

well crap this is going to be touch and go.

Splendid. I do think it was a bit rushed, though. Nevertheless, I look forward to another one! :twilightsmile:

I'm thinking that in the long run Firefly turns out to be an ancestor to Dash. Let's see what happens.

And why is this story more popular than GlimGlamStrange? Hm... 

Because it’s awesome, duh!

You can't help but want more! :pinkiehappy:

This story has a lot of potential. But I can't but feel that trying to stick to a film language is hurting it badly.

Movies and the written medium are fundamentally ​different in how to tell a story, and the parallel with The First Avenger is quite obvious. Yeah, there's a little filly there, why are we seeing her POV? Ain't this story about Rainbow and how she is the first Wonderbolt? The legend she crafts, her epic deeds and the war she fought in? Because it feels more like "The Foalhood if General Firefly" with RD as a special guest.

Another thing, half of it? This is barely the prologue of what your prequel and first chapter promise. This is how she found out she's in the past, that she has to do something, and got crippling hurt trying to help (and made a mess with that Rainboom in the north, if you hint correctly in that chapter).
So now she still has to become a super soldier, have a stellar albeit short militar career, while proving herself from being an complete no-pony without any proof she existed, creating a reputation for upholding all the elements in some exemplar manner - what means at least one heroic feat with each - and even visiting the zebras and giving them an emblem, while trying to leave clues to the distant future that she was alright/would be back.

I'm sorry, but it is impossible to tell all that in some twenty thousand words. Not with the pace you've kept until now, or the focus. You took a rather unique approach to this idea, the prompt is excellent and it still can be quite epic, but for that you need to tell us Rainbow's story, not Firefly's.

I like this story. The prequel made an excellent job of catching my attention too. It paints the portrait of a hero of legend. We know stories get exaggerated, but the tidbit with the zebras and how much she did, you promised more, much much more. And I believe you can deliver it. Don't give up, and please try to update faster if you can. I'd hate to see this one die. Keep on writing! :yay:

8214961 I joined this site and wrote stories specifically to get constructive comments like this, and I thank you so much for this.

You are completely correct. It’s been dragging on. But you know what? There’s a reason I’m putting an emphasis on Firefly and Rainbow Dash.

Chekhov’s Gun. That’s all I’’m saying.

And notice I said nearly. Not nearly enough. You’ll know exactly when the halfway point has been crossed, because it’ll be like a huge red flag in a flat desert. You’ll see it coming from a mile away. A long long mile away.

And once I reach that part in the story, I am going to post the third story in this universe. Though it may not be updated until GlimGlamStrange is finished and Avengerbolt has reached a certain point in it’s arc (trust me, I’ve planned all the way up until the conjoining fic), you’ll see many points coming together. Just wait and see.

Trust me on this. Please! I promise so much more, just stick around. I won’t be abandoning this, rest assured :twilightsmile::twilightblush:

Issues 4-5 will be all about Rainbow’s time as a soldier. And I will try to fill those two issues up with as many sub-issues to compensate. Issue 6 will be short, and there will be one final issue that is essentially The First Avenger’s epilogue.

And then there are the extra bite sized bits I will post in at the ends of each story. Similar to post-credits. There’s still lot’s more, I can promise you this :scootangel:

I’m sorry for making you think it would only be 20,000 words. In the direction I’m taking it, it will most likely be around the 6-80,000’s. So I’m sorry for any doubt! :yay:

8215858
Nice to know. And yeah, I’ll stick around :twilightsmile:

I assumed more 20k because it has 19 already. But on more 60~80 thousand? Easily doable. I’ll anxiously wait for updates then, and remember: Pinkie is watching :pinkiecrazy:

Edit: Glimmer as the Sorcerer Supreme? What’s Twilight then, chopped liver? :rainbowlaugh:
I am curious now, though. Maybe I’ll give it a read latter.

8215858
So, RD is Captain Equestria, SG is Dr. Strange, Rarity is Iron Mare, Applejack is Thor, hmm.....who is going to be the Hulk, Hawkeye, and Black Widow? Or, if this is going by animated TV series, Hulk, Wasp, and Ant-man. Why do I have the feeling that Zecora is going to be Black Panther, since she was the Shaman of the tribe where Daring found the Emblem in the prequel one-shot.

Rarity whispered as she winced from pain. Her chest piece radiated softly with a blue glow.

Iron Mare!

“And you did gol-darn well too. Without you, I don’t think we would’ve ever found Rainbow,” Applejack said, fiddling with the hammer in her hooves. It arced with small jolts of electricity which were self contained.

Thor!

I'm guessing what goes around comes around as far as Rainbow Dash and Firefly go. Dash didn't have an "older sister" to look up to, so she latched onto the idea of the Wonderbolts and Firefly in particular as role models, and now she finds the shoe on the other hoof, being the role model to Firefly. Now I'm just wondering when Belle Industries is going to get involved in things to turn her into a Super Soldier. I would have thought that the "Incurable" condition would have been what caught their interest for the trial, but physically she seems to be coming along. Maybe it's to do with how her magic now seems to be nearly unresponsive.

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8220650
Fluttershy would be "Hulk" I'd guess, considering Castle Mane-ia, which still leaves Twilight and Pinkie who are almost impossible to categorize into Marvel heroes on their base personalities alone. I guess Pinkie could be a substitute for Black Widow and Twilight for Hawkeye, but that's stretching things a bit more than the others all things considering. Twilight Might be a stand-in for Nick Fury's position, but that would still leave a slot open on the "team" as she steps back into a role as coordinator, which I don't think would be acceptable to her on a personal level.

For having never watched Captain America, I really am enjoying this!

Fireflies ears flicked at the sound of a familiar voice but couldn’t take her attention off of Rainbow Dash.

*Firefly's

I love the bond between Firefly and Rainbow you've created. ❤

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