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What a beautiful Sunset.


Sunset's life after that dreaded Fall Formal has improved in every way. Everyone at CHS likes her, she has a loving group of close friends, and she finally feels like she can move on from her past mistakes.

That is until she stumbles upon an a familiar face in an old yearbook and finds out he was one mistake she can never fix. Sunset had made amends with everyone else she hurt, but how can she forgive herself for a suicide she caused?

First two chapters edited by seventeen | Written in memory of an old friend.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 128 )

Look, I'm you happy you want to be friends with me

This sentence gained an extra "you" :trixieshiftleft:

This was a strong start!

For now she could find solace in her best friends presence

You accidentally the apostrophe.

This looks super promising. I'm really excited to see where it goes!

Truly good SadSunny fics are notoriously difficult to find, what with the putrid sea of Anon-a-Miss revengeporn and forced drama/shipping fics. This is already on my shortlist for concept alone, and it only helps that the emotions are realistic and carefully written.

I'm really enjoying this so far, and I'll be excited to see where you take the story next.


Great start here

This is good. How does she make up for something she can’t reverse?

You're forgetting that time travel is possible in this universe.

Omg I love this! It's so sad :(
Can't wait to see what happens next! Tracking :)

Yeah, I've been there. Getting told to commit suicide or be told your worthless ain't no joke. My attempts only failed because of timing or shotty luck of not carrying through

Never forget, always forgive. If all fails, seek retribution, seek sanctuary in yourself, but believe that change will bring a better future.

Wanderer D

You write some of my fav Sunny stories, so I'm hyped to see where you take this. It's a very intense topic, and it takes some bravery to approach it.

A topic I'm unfortunately too familiar with. Hope I can do it justice, anyway.

Draco concern for you has increased.
I shall not inquire but say hello.

Don't worry, after 3 years from my last attempt, I've actually have become better, stronger and happier. :twilightsmile:

Oh shit. You know a friend of mine killed himself once, but he got better. All joking aside, he faked his death for about a month, slowly causing a divide between him and his only other friend before I forced them to sit down and fix it all. I believe he was planning on suicide that night, as his wife miscarried, and he thought he lost one of his two friends in the same week. But that personal shit aside, well done. I've never had someone close to me die before, much less kill themselves, but I kind of know how it feels, I think. I remember still being in denial when I stumbled into the truth that he wasn't dead. Sorry, off topic again. I hope to see this go on.

Doing something that you can't take back is a very painful realization indeed.

This has really touched base with the most valid aspect of our reality.

We would often take life for granted. We're often too blinded by our own lives we scarcely take the time to look at the lives of others, and see how they're being affected. We'd often make mistakes, lost connections with our friends, live alone, etc. But by the time we realized what we've been missing, it's too late to get that time back.

It's like having two doors in front of you. Each doors represents the decisions you make that can take you to your future. Once you pass through one door, then you can never turn back.

So I can kinda see the conundrum and despair Sunset is going through now. He's dead. Because of her. And nothing will ever bring him back, no matter how much she wanted to take back her action. But the least she can do is tell the truth to the whole world.

Jesus Christ.... I'm scare to imagine, If Sunset tries to find his parents for forgiveness....

Sunset had pushed someone to suicide.

And this is why NO-ONE should even joke about someone else, especially a man, supposedly being a 'pedophile'; a label like that is incredibly difficult, if not damn-near impossible, to get rid of. Unfortunately, because of some weird and stupid quirk of modern society, it's especially horrific for men as opposed to women; if a person were to see a man looking at younger children, it's somehow 'only natural' to assume he's a pedophile instead of the children's older cousin or uncle who's been tasked with looking after them for a bit while their parents are busy. Meanwhile, a woman in the same position would not be given a single ounce of suspicion.

This is one reason why there's very few male primary school teachers and babysitters and the like; the stigma is just too horrible and too difficult to remove.

Double standards are horrible, and the fact men can so easily have their lives ruined by a single rumour or false accusation ('pedophile', 'sexual harasser', 'sexual assaulter', etc.) while women don't face the same threat just should not be the reality. Yet unfortunately it is, and very few seem to care about it.

Perhaps Sunset could go to Equestria and find his Pony counterpart there? I know and she'd know that it isn't technically the same person but it could be the closest thing she'd get to real closure about it.

I can't say I know anything about the subject matter. The closest I've come is an older brother who tried to commit suicide (thankfully unsuccessfully) but he's good now. That said, Sunset's anguish does seem appropriate enough for having discovered that she is responsible for something she can't make up for.

Interested to see how this progresses.


Even worse. People who have their names cleared can still be haunted for years by these accusations. Read about Fatty Arbuckle.

Which begs the question: does this sordid act, and its tragic result, undo all the good Sunset has done for people?

Unfortunately, you're right.

I am not sassing you, by the way. I just really hate poorly developed time travel in fiction as for precisely the reason you mentioned, especially one so accessible. It just killed drama imo.

Sorry for the derail. Really poignant stuff you did, author. Keep up the good work!

9457414: No, it does not. As horrible an event as a man taking his own life is, he is still only one man. Sunset Shimmer has helped so many more, literally saving the lives of hundreds of people, both innocent and guilty, at certain points in her story, be it from magical threats or otherwise; the sheer amount of good she has done has redeemed her past sins long ago.

Besides, if she is to be damned for this one tragedy, then we all are to be as well: we've all done terrible things to others at some point in our lives; maybe not as bad as this, but something bad all the same. Something driven by selfishness or emotion that has hurt others and affected their lives in some way, be it mere words or outright attacks. It's all too easy to point at others and call out their actions, all the while ignoring the taint of sin on our own hands; for anyone to insist that they have never done anything wrong to someone else is to outright lie to everyone's faces. So to call Sunset out on hurting others is hypocrisy.

All this being said, and as tragic as it is, Sunset is not responsible for Soloman's choice. Yes, she destroyed his life and forced him into suffering, and it's very respectable of her to feel shame and try to find a way to fix this, but she didn't force him to kill himself: he was the one who made that final decision to take his own life, not her. She may have been the one to start him down that emotional path, but at the end of the day, only we are responsible for what we decide to do.

Comment posted by wizard0209 deleted Feb 14th, 2019

sunkstat hammer do a kill somebody they are themself??

This is actually really good. Looking forward to more! :)

Twilight raised an eyebrow at the mess of papers and the open laptop. "What even is all this?" Twilight adjusted her glasses and leaned in to look at her laptop. Sunset's heart froze at the tab that was currently open. "A... seance? Was he a cult member? What are you--"

I'm sorry to point this out but as an occultist, I think you meant an occult member

occultists and cultists are 2 completely different things

I have no words. Wow. Just wow.

I guess your life is the total sum of the good and bad that you do.

Sure you can't take back certain things, but you can also make the lives of others' better.

Sunset can't take back what she did, but she has done good for others.

They chilly day wasn't nearly cold enough to calm her down


"Are you going to make those buscuits again?"


I... uh, I just eat fish and diary

Eating books is definitely a weird one :trollestia:

Holy crap. Dad's just so broken. Geez. That really has to hit hard.

Comment posted by redandready45 deleted Feb 15th, 2019

Logicism..... I see many quote from such a philosophy but I also see that many ignore the very first point stated in every book, quote, point, idea on said methodology, the human mind in itself cannot be logical so long as it holds emotion.

It feels... Unfair, I guess, to praise the quality of the writing, knowing what this story means to you. There's so much more here than dialogue and emotions and plot points, excellent as they may be.

There's a soul within this piece that can't be measured or described. It isn't sadness and it isn't pain--those are just words, sparks masquerading as lightning. There are no words for this. I can't name it, I can't pinpoint it and I can't understand it.

I feel it, though. Not as strongly as you've had to, but I hope you know that you aren't feeling it alone anymore. Thank you for sharing this story.

Sunset slumped back down into her chair with a heavy sigh. "This doesn't get any easier, does it?"

"No..." Wallflower said with a slow, sad shake of her head. "You just get better at living with it."

No amount of words can say how much that nail hits it on the head more than that.

You’re doing great, Holy.

Oh man.... Sunset was right.... Yelling, screaming, & a fight would've been better... The fact the mother show sympathy & the father was just emotionless, broke Sunset even more...

As a survivor of suicide, I lost my Fiancé in August 2017, I have a major issue with the premise of this story.

Unless the ending message is "you're not responsible for someone else's actions" then the author is just contributing to the stigma of mental health issues by not portraying the issue in a realistic manner.

At the end of the day, only you are responsible for the actions you take. Others my contribute to your decision making, but ultimately it is you that makes the choice. Realizing that is the only way I can continue to move on with my life, even if that means accepting that someone I loved made an incredibly selfish choice and left me alone.

People like you are why I question why I'm still even on this site. Maybe you should read more than just the short description before you leave dislikes and extremely disrespectful comments like this.

I just finished reading the story and your blog post regarding your friend (you have my condolences), but I do have to agree with Aceman.

You could handle the subject matter in a matter more true to life. This story felt rushed and forced.

The first two chapters would have worked better as one.

It also could have benefited greatly from a Prologue that actually showed Sunset doing the things you said she did. Show, don't tell,you write better stories that way.

Dismissing criticism as disrespect is kinda immature. Not having people agree with you isn't disrespectful, that's just life. People have different experiences. You lost a friend, he lost the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with, if what he said is true.

You two have more in common then you realize.

Your genuinely terrible "writing advice" tells me you still didn't bother to actually read the story and it's still not going to make up for the fact that you came onto this story to insult me over the premise before you even opened a chapter. If you think that's appropriate in any way you seriously need to rethink the way you treat others. Again, coming onto a story like this and telling me that I'm "contributing to the stigma of mental health issues" for simply trying to write about it (which, again, you clearly didn't even bother to read before you commented) is extremely disrespectful and not acceptable in any way.

These tragedies aren't badges to be condescending to others and once you try to pull that card things aren't going to get better between us, especially since you tried to cover your tracks by hiding behind "it's just criticism" and immediately insulted me again before you tried to establish some meaningless common ground. I hope you think about all this before you start this kind of inconsiderate disrespect on someone else who's just trying to work through something similar.

Ouch... Just... Just ouch.

To be honest and blunt, this was an absolute struggle to read. Honestly, now that I've finished all three chapters you've published so far, it's feeling hard to breathe. By Luna, there is so much emotion in this piece. Like Scampy said, it's not just pain, not just sadness... It's loss. It's pure despair. It's the grip of the void itself. I'm developing a case of wristburn over it, there's that much emotion and... memory shoved into so few words.

I'm going to have to take a very stark disagreement to one thing that Teh Naughty Self said, though. "You could handle the subject matter in a matter more true to life." Pah. You can't get any truer to life than this. The complete breakdown when you're told your friend killed themself. Instantly going to accusing them of making the sickest joke known to mankind... desperately begging them to tell you it's some joke. Then from the breakdown to the shutdown... completely unable to unwilling to actually commit to anything... just staring off into oblivion as the world passes by you. Then, the second you find some string to grasp on to, some ray of hope of finding a way to make things right, and you're jumping on it faster than a soul lost in the desert for a week runs to an oasis.

Your story hurts... But it hurts so beautifully.

Same, bro; I know the feel all too well, especially the luck or timing being the only things that kept you from dying. Y'all want a hug?

One of the interesting consistencies in the character of Sunset tends to be that, while she almost always ends up good in the end, she generally remains a very self-centered person, even a selfish one.

Nothing wrong with that, though it can cause its own difficulties (such as with Wallflower Blush in Forgotten Friendship). Interesting heroes have flaws.

Thus far in this tale, it seems to me that her concerns have been mostly about her feeling better about her past, her being forgiven, making people see that she’s different...

...and then she hit this.


As I said, every interesting hero has their flaws, and Sunset is certainly no exception. I look forward to seeing how you have her deal with actions that can’t be amended. She’ll be hard pressed not to succumb to true self-hatred... but fortunately, she has some excellent friends.

A series of as-it-went responses...

Wallflower's prospect of a Sunday lunch with his parents before going to the...

Oh, holy crap. :twilightoops:


Calvin. Oh, it just keeps getting worse.

"No..." Wallflower said with a slow, sad shake of her head. "You just get better at living with it."

Truer words were rarely spoken.

You had the option to leave the story here... much like the event that sparked it: unresolved. And that would have worked beautifully.

Instead, you’re forging ahead to whatever conclusion as you have planned. I have every faith that it will be as excellent as the rest of the tale has been.

I haven’t read about your friend to whom the tale is dedicated as of yet; I wanted to read the story on its own merits. And on its own merits, it is beautiful. A stark contrast to the horror that it addresses.

I don’t usually go for the sad stuff, and self-harm tags are usually something that I avoid entirely. But your story looked like something worth taking the chance on, and I am very glad I did.

Thank you for writing this.

Eh, hugs I save for when there are celebrations and to cry with. I don't need hugs now, I need friends. :twilightsmile:

It must be exhausting to go through life constantly trying to prove that you're smarter than everyone else. I hope one day you learn to be more respectful and kind, so you can spend your time making people joyful instead of doing whatever you're trying to do here.


This isn't something you CAN make up for, Sunset. You have to live with it. Forever.

"Well, good. Wouldn't want you drawing any pentagrams and lighting candles once I'm gone," Twilight said, gesturing over to the seance search on the computer.

Now that's good. I'd prefer moe exposition first though.


This.........was deep.

I don't know what to say after something like this. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to feel.

Thank you for sharing this story.

Sometimes... Its hell trying to find forgiveness & closure for the sins of our past.... Either embrace it & move on or remember it & suffer for it...

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